Making small talk with hearing strangers

faire_jour said:
That's what I mean. If you are nodding and pretending to understand, you are ignoring the person too, just not being open about it.
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that's your view..doesnt make it mine. In my view, I am acknowledging the person which is better than completely ignoring them. That's my view and I disagree with you.
 
shel90 said:
I have no idea what you are saying.

Iam just saying that everyone is different and the point of this thread was to share our different experiences and see how we handle it, not criticize each other.
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She means I'm the whipping boy. I'm hearing and dare to disagree so everyone jumps on board and tries to crucify me. It's ok, I can take it :D
 
Frisky Feline said:
I agree that it helps me to understand better about others, for example, I do not have speech skill. I have always thought that deaf people wth good speech skill have no problem approaching with hearing people. Then I have witnessed so many of them doing the same situation in reality what this thread is all about. boy, I am dead wrong about it. yeah thanks for creating the thread.
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yea, it is the receptive part that hearing most hearing people just cant seem to get no matter how much we explain that we need to read their lips, or not to raise their voice, move their mouths VEEERRRRY SLLLOWWWW, not to whisper in our ears, or not to turn away from us while speaking.

because of that history, when I am doing my errands, I dont have the time nor desire to go through that again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again...

I think you pretty much got my point. :D
 
I've been following this thread and I think it is really great. Thanks Shel for starting it!

I'm hearing so I don't have mush to contribute. However, I've found that whenever I got to the gym to work out I have to get "in the zone" in order to have a good workout and push myself hard enough. Which means that I can exercise and chat with strangers at the same time. I do say hi to people if they say hi but I try to avoid conversations so I can concentrate on working out. if I have to multitask than I usually lose my motivation to work out. It's the same when I'm riding a horse, for some people riding is a social event but I get way too focused and can't follow a conversation and focus on my riding at the same time. Some people think I'm too serious and antisocial but really I'm just very focused on the task at hand and trying to perform it at the best of my ability.
 
faire_jour said:
She means I'm the whipping boy. I'm hearing and dare to disagree so everyone jumps on board and tries to crucify me. It's ok, I can take it :D
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But you claim that you are trying to understand but it seems to be not working......
 
p.s.....FJ, the whole point is that we have no desire to pretend. We are sick to death of it. But we don't want to have to spend a long drawn out process of having to explain and educate hearing people whom we just meet briefly in the street. We have better things to do with our time. Yet, if we don't respond with a friendly hello, then we are deemed rude. So as I said before, to save the bother - we should walk around with signboards? Now who wants that!

also read post #318 for a bit of history as to why this we are discussing this thread in the first place!
 
faire_jour said:
That's what I mean. If you are nodding and pretending to understand, you are ignoring the person too, just not being open about it.
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What about your pretensions? We have repeatedly asserted that you have to be deaf to understand, yet you keep on whining about your ignorance. Looks like you are simply trolling at this point.
 
FJ..do you see many of us trying over and over and over and over and over and over again trying to explain ourselves but it is not working so it is becoming beating a dead horse now.
 
FJ, YOu will never understand why we do it.. Untill one day you yourself are wearing our shoes. Ignoreing you??? not hardly.. We a more than likely are trying to save face and join in the conversation as best as we can and sometimes jsut get so aggravated with asking huh what repeat pls...
 
CJB said:
Here's an idea faire_jour. Turn off your voice for a week. I know it's not the same as being deaf, but you can't stop hearing. You can stop speaking. So turn your voice off for a week. See if you have the patience to explain to every single person that you are mute, need to communicate with pen and paper or ASL. Good day, bad day, doesn't matter. By all means, do not use your voice. If you still have the patience to explain your needs every time, then try at it for a month.
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I'm with Bott, I'd just ignore them.
 
faire_jour said:
I'm with Bott, I'd just ignore them.
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That's one way of going about it, but honestly, I don't feel comfortable just ignoring people. I don't know about where you live, but where I live it's viewed as extremely rude.
 
CJB said:
That's one way of going about it, but honestly, I don't feel comfortable just ignoring people. I don't know about where you live, but where I live it's viewed as extremely rude.
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It is either you are rude or dishonest...damned if u do, damn if u dont.

:lol:
 
shel90 said:
yea, it is the receptive part that hearing most hearing people just cant seem to get no matter how much we explain that we need to read their lips, or not to raise their voice, move their mouths VEEERRRRY SLLLOWWWW, not to whisper in our ears, or not to turn away from us while speaking.

because of that history, when I am doing my errands, I dont have the time nor desire to go through that again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again...

I think you pretty much got my point. :D
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Totally yes. ONE time, my hubby made me to talk to the lady who runs the cats/kittnes homeless shelter that I was interested in adopting the kitten. At first, my hubby and I agreed on getting the kitten, then he and I walked toward to the lady, then i turned my head to him. He disappeared on me all of a sudden. :confused: I went ahead and talked to her through body language and write on the paper. In 5 minutes later, He showed up and kept silent as much as he can. I asked him, "why did you do that to me at a very last minute!" He said, " i wasn't in a mood to speak " i do not blame him for feeling that way. If the lady heard him speaking very well then she woudl have asked lots of questions that he wasn't in mood to focus and read her lips. He thought if It were me and i would make the conversation so short and got the kitten faster. He's right about it. :lol: We still have our furkid for 10 yrs. :d
 
shel90 said:
It is either you are rude or dishonest...damned if u do, damn if u dont.

:lol:
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Why would I give a rat's ass if a stranger who saw me for 10 seconds, and will likely never see me for the rest of my life, thinks I'm rude???
 
faire_jour said:
Why would I give a rat's ass if a stranger who saw me for 10 seconds, and will likely never see me for the rest of my life, thinks I'm rude???
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The people at the gym, I see again and again and again and again and again and again and again...

I wouldnt want a bad reputation, u know? Not good for my image and also wouldnt want the same old..." all deaf people are rude" because of me. I guess that is just the nature of my personality..I am too sweet and too kind.

And by the oralists, I was brainwashed into never ignoring any hearing person who try to talk to me because I have good speech. No joke.
 
faire_jour said:
Why would I give a rat's ass if a stranger who saw me for 10 seconds, and will likely never see me for the rest of my life, thinks I'm rude???
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I guess it's different where I live. Most strangers are people that see me every day that I will sooner or later need to buy something from, sell something to, or somehow interact with. I've met a lot of people who said that they have seen me walking around before, used to work at a place I go to often...and so on and so forth.

That said, some people just don't like to be rude. Some people care just because it's how they were raised. So what's your suggestion for those of us who don't like to just ignore people?
 
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