Kristina,
I'd like to personally apologize to you on behalf of librarians and library-employees everywhere. That man's behavior was unacceptable.
I work for a library system that is currently voted #1 in the nation (America) for two years running (maybe more?) and we have no training for interaction with deaf or HOH that I am aware of. Part of what has driven me to learn ASL is the guilt I feel when servicing deaf patrons. We are trained to ask some form of "How can I help you?" to every one who approaches us. It usually takes me a moment to realize the person who is approaching can't hear me- and I feel sooooo guilty when I do! However, I know that there is really no way I can just "know" that without being told, or by careful observation. A lot of hearing people will ignore you when you talk to them, so figuring out someone is deaf is complicated by that.
I think part of the innate guilt I feel has to do with reading "The Heart is a Lonely Hunter." In that book there is a deaf man who plays a large role. Everyone talks to him like he can hear and understand them- they all believe he understands them better than anyone else. The only true friend the deaf man has is a deaf and mentally handicapped man who ends up being institutionalized. It's a truly heartbreaking situation. Every time I read the book I wish so badly that something in the situation were different- but I think the fact of the matter is it's an accurate depiction of the isolation and frustration of being deaf in a community that hears.
I hope to master ASL in the coming months, years, until I am able to communicate effectively in that way. In the past I have used paper to communicate with deaf patrons. I always feel like I'm frustrating them though- like they hate how long it takes me to write or that they have to write back. I even feel that way when writing to my deaf ASL professor.:Oops:
I believe that deaf or hearing, across all languages, there are immense gaps between us all- due to our communication failures and barriers. I've been obsessed with that my entire life- it breaks my heart more than anything else. I wish there were some way we could communicate our hearts and our souls to one another in the purest form. The closest I believe we can get to that is in prayer.
It continues to astound me how many hearing parents with deaf children do not learn ASL. I recently helped a patron to download music to his mp3 player on his daughters laptop. PURPLE popped up when we started the computer- and I made some comment about discussing the program in my ASL class. The man told me he had a 17 year-old deaf daughter. I said, "Oh, so you know ASL," and he told me he was just starting to learn. Something dies inside me when I hear stuff like that.
I do not blame deaf or HOH people for nodding and smiling. Hell, I do that sometimes. (I get ear infections a lot, and I've never been great at hearing in loud situations). I just wish there weren't any guilt on either side- and that there was some way to share the feeling/motivation behind the words expressed and unheard.
