Making small talk with hearing strangers

Deaffy said:
If this was me . I would speak with the admin of the library and tell them how this person mistreated you. This is wrong for him to pass judgement on your disability. He has absoulty no grounds to determine how good or bad you can or cannot hear. He does not live in your shoes. I would talk to someone about this. NO ONE deserves this kinda treatment irregardless of wether they have an impairment or not!!!!
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The admin and I have already been round and round about this situation regarding others. She contacted the local Deaf Service Center and the Lighthouse for the Blind for some in-service meetings for her staff regarding people with any degree of hearing loss and vision loss and how to best serve them. This particular man went through the training twice. He was informed about today's visit and was called to the back after it. The administrator witnessed the whole exchange.
 
I understand how you feel, Shel.
One time I was riding subway, three girls were talking about me, and one girl was brave enough to talk to me, and I had awkward feeling to tell her that I am deaf, and then I asked her to write me. She laughed and talked to other girls. I feel a bit lousy, but move on.
 
Does anyone happen to know what exactly they learn in those training classes? What are they told to do to "best serve us?" Are they told about the diversity of deaf people, and that some talk, some choose not to, some sign, etc.? What are they made aware of, because it seems to me that they keep missing the point.
 
something else that annoys me. i read lips pretty good, but ive had people, when they find out i cant hear, start talking in slow motion so to speak. ive told some just to talk normal. some are trying to help doing that yes but some it seems to me are just being a pain in the backside with sarcastic bs.
 
natty_4ever said:
Does anyone happen to know what exactly they learn in those training classes? What are they told to do to "best serve us?" Are they told about the diversity of deaf people, and that some talk, some choose not to, some sign, etc.? What are they made aware of, because it seems to me that they keep missing the point.
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I'm not sure exactly what is taught in the classes, but I do know that they are instructed on how to get the person's attention politely. They are also taught to not belittle the person and to empathize with them. They are also instructed to provide pen and paper when needed. I know in this library, they have all also been taught basic signs, but I'm not sure how many retain the information.

I was called by the library today. They have now made a notation on my account in their files that I am deaf and that my children are HOH. They are planning on doing that for every patron. The system will now ask if you have any haring difficulties or vision difficulties that they need to be aware of. This way, when they check you out and scan your library card, they can see on the screen and be prepared.
 
If I am in a hurry and a stranger say something and I did not hear him I just smile and walk on. But if I have time I will talk to person and if they talk loud enough for me to hear them and and they can understand me we'll talk a few minutes. There will be time when just lost their dog and see me with mine they'll talk about their dog and pat mine. I know what you mean about nodding your head like you to under stand , I do it too. It may be rude but something I really do not fell like turning up my HA to talk.
 
faire_jour said:
Wirelessly posted



i didn't say anyhting close to those judgements you made. I simply asked a question "why would you allow yourself to not understand?" I never said anything close to "lazy" or "dishonest". I wanted to know why an adult, who knows that they deserve to communicate and understand, would put up with not understanding?
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Hold up, I didn't say you said those things either, and I'm pretty sure you don't believe that about deaf people. Nevertheless, the way you framed your question using your own experience to show that "I don't do that, so why do you?" you were implying that there was something negative or wrong with responding to hearing people this way. A casual observer might find this pretending to hear behavior as dishonest, etc. (again, I didn't say, nor do I think that's how you feel), so I was simply dispelling that. I apologize if I've misconstrued your rhetoric.

Anyway, as for the answer to your question: it's already been answered in any number of ways on this thread, but if you're looking for a final, definitive reason as to why, well you're not going to get it other than a shake of our heads and the "you have to be deaf to understand" line. Sorry, but there's just no other way to explain it succinctly.
 
As a hearing person I must say that having someone tell me that my form of communication doesn't work for them helps both of us out. I feel the same for people who use a different spoken language from English. I don't want to carry on a one sided conversation any more than you do! And if I know there is a barrier personally I will try to find a way around it. That being said I know many people who just don't "get it", especially when a person is deaf instead of speaking spabish or something. Uneducated hearing people will think if they talk loudly and slowly it will help which may be true kn some cases but not all. But please remember it is not usually the hearing persons fault they are uneducated about it, they may just have never been exposed to things outside of their small world.
I have friends that always carry a notepad with them and friends who refuse to write. My ex was HOH and had almost normal hearing with her hearing aids but still chose not to communicate with people in public if they didn't make eye contact. She thought they were rude and in turn they thought she was rude when it was just cultural perception.
Do the best you can to get through life, but stop to educate people along the way if you have the spare time.
I just watched a video about a deaf family and the mother said "I used to walk into somewhere, point to my ear and say 'i can't hear'. Now I walk in and say 'i use sign language' and I feel I get more respect and and not talking down on myself." I liked that :)
 
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natty_4ever said:
Does anyone happen to know what exactly they learn in those training classes? What are they told to do to "best serve us?" Are they told about the diversity of deaf people, and that some talk, some choose not to, some sign, etc.? What are they made aware of, because it seems to me that they keep missing the point.
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yup ! it typical arrogance of the hearies they really need to be stretched, quartered and behead for crimes against deaf humanity
 
I try to avoid strangers, but I thought I would like to be in the strange column. :P
 
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