Mad

Even with teachers noting possible signs of abuse, that doesn't change the dynamic at home. I know several people whose teachers noted signs of abuse, but their parents told them if they report the abusive situation and then gave threats that involved their personal safety. I also know of teachers that noticed but didn't do anything because they thought the process would be too long and complicated, or they didn't feel like getting involved.

It's very easy to say that each person has to come to realize they need to get out of the pattern, but it's very hard. What I was trying to say earlier is that people need friends because professional counseling isn't always an option and having a friend can be that support you need to get out of an abusive situation. In fact sometimes even having a friend can be the only way to have the frame of comparison necessary for you realize you are in an abusive situation (realizing one's home situation isn't healthy.)

I do agree that at least in the U.S. we are headed more in the right direction, but we still have a long, long ways to go. And in many other countries even the standard they live by involves daily abuse. So that is what makes me mad, pushes all my buttons. That in other countries, even the law system itself has abuse embedded in it.
 
you and i will have to agree to disagree on this, nika.

if a person in an abusive situation is able to confide in a friend, why can't they do the same with a therapist?
 
I agree to disagree with you Hear Again.

Because they don't always have access to a therapist. I know I begged my parents to let me go to therapy. I was under 18 so I needed my parents' permission. This doesn't work for children when their parents are the source of abuse. However in that situation they can still confide in a friend (which is what I did.)
 
Children, especially young children, don't understand how the world works, they don't understand themselves very well, and they have few if any tools, mentally or emotionally.

These are things the adults around them have to give them.

Any adult who is more concerned with their own control over the child than they are with teaching the child to be an empowered adult is, by my definition, a bad parent, teacher, guardian, what ever.

A woman once told me her earliest memory was watching her mother beaten to a pulp and being told, "This is what happens to bad girls who talk out of turn."

There are a lot of adults who could not deal with that.

What chance does a little kid have?
 
Nika said:
I agree to disagree with you Hear Again.

Because they don't always have access to a therapist. I know I begged my parents to let me go to therapy. I was under 18 so I needed my parents' permission. This doesn't work for children when their parents are the source of abuse. However in that situation they can still confide in a friend (which is what I did.)
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i wasn't talking about children. i was talking about adults. in the case of a child, it's the responsibility of a school official to step in and recommend therapy if needed. by the way, if a child is being abused by their parents, there's nothing stopping that child from seeing a school counselor or psychologist to discuss their feelings and to have their parents reported by said person.
 
berry,

i learned the same thing as the woman you mentioned in your post. whenever i talked out of turn or had something to say, the 2 people responsible for my traumas punished me as a result. it took me a LONG time before i realized that it was okay and safe for me to express my opinions.
 
Deafteen90 said:
I hate sarcastic tutors.


Once me and my 'terp was in a lesson at college. The teacher suddenly annouces we'r watching a video, (none ofthe videos here have subtitles or CC)

so my 'terp asks the teacher how long will the film be, so she has an idea, the teacher goes, 'why? do you want some popcorn>?'

this made both me and the 'terp really annoyed!

this same teacher acts like im a ten year old. cos before the 'terp told me what the teacher said about me, i cant remember what it was but the teacher went, "n o no no, shes lying she lying" omg how embarrassing!!
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yep... i've had a couple of professors cracking too much jokes on my C.A.R.T. interpreter. it's quite bothersome. My interpreter just :roll: to me privately.
 
Jiro said:
yep... i've had a couple of professors cracking too much jokes on my C.A.R.T. interpreter. it's quite bothersome. My interpreter just :roll: to me privately.
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i use cart in my university lectures and have had a few professors say rude things to my captionist.

fortunately, my captionist lets these comments roll off her back even though they really bother me. <mad>
 
Hear Again said:
i use cart in my university lectures and have had a few professors say rude things to my captionist.

fortunately, my captionist lets these comments roll off her back even though they really bother me. <mad>
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:mad2: I think some people just didn't like to be recorded and it crimped their "style" or whatever you call it.... "groove"
 
Jiro said:
:mad2: I think some people just didn't like to be recorded and it crimped their "style" or whatever you call it.... "groove"
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i had a professor who told me that once and i asked him, "if that's true, then i suppose you object to students recording your lectures as well?" he said no and i said that if he didn't object to that, there's no reason why he should object to captioning. (by the way, this was the same professor who tried telling me i didn't need to use an fm system *and* captioning -- that i should use one or the other. i told him he wasn't my audiologist or a staff member of my university's disability office and should mind his own business. <mad>)
 
Hear Again said:
i had a professor who told me that once and i asked him, "if that's true, then i suppose you object to students recording your lectures as well?" he said no and i said that if he didn't object to that, there's no reason why he should object to captioning. (by the way, this was the same professor who tried telling me i didn't need to use an fm system *and* captioning -- that i should use one or the other. i told him he wasn't my audiologist or a staff member of my university's disability office and should mind his own business. <mad>)
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lol i think this answer would zing him - "If you have a problem with my accommodations - you can take it up to the Dean [of Disability Office]" :laugh2:
 
Jiro said:
lol i think this answer would zing him - "If you have a problem with my accommodations - you can take it up to the Dean [of Disability Office]" :laugh2:
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that would work too, but at the time, i was in the mood to tell him to mind his own business. :lol: (by the way, i ended up withdrawing from his class because he was a total a**hole.)
 
Hear Again said:
that would work too, but at the time, i was in the mood to tell him to mind his own business. :lol: (by the way, i ended up withdrawing from his class because he was a total a**hole.)
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:laugh2: probably a good idea
 
Hear Again said:
also, if a person is in an abusive situation, they can receive temporary housing at a safe house while they decide to press charges against their abuser and can receive therapy from other social service agencies, a local university or a free mental health clinic. there's no excuse not to seek therapy. if one needs it, they will find a way to get it.
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No offense... But fear is a valid excuse... Some people are afraid of what others will think of them, especially when even the family dosent believe anything has happened, and questions your need... And you just dont have the emotional energy anymore.
 
I think this thread is really bad for peoples emotions and unproductive.

I am going to take a break.:(
 
typeingtornado19 said:
No offense... But fear is a valid excuse... Some people are afraid of what others will think of them, especially when even the family dosent believe anything has happened, and questions your need... And you just dont have the emotional energy anymore.
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i have nothing more to say about this topic. besides, our discussion is off-topic for this thread.

my apologies for contributing to the off-topic discussion.
 
Hear Again said:
i know others (myself included) who have been in the same exact predicament yet it didn't stop them (or me) from seeking therapy. fear shouldn't stop someone from getting the help they need. if my family members or friends don't believe i need therapy, that's their problem -- not mine. besides, what's the alternative? if someone is emotionally drained, is that a valid reason for staying in an abusive relationship? i don't think so.

guess i'll have to agree to disagree with you as well.
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I'm sorry Hear again... I did not mean it was a valid reason for staying in an abusive relationship... Not that at all.
 
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