Its Not The Parents Fault....

A

Angel

♥"Concrete Angel"♥
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for choosing CI over hearing aids...When your child is born deaf or lose his/her hearing, or otherwise damages inflicted from any type of illness, accidents, you often have questions and you want answers... doctors who try to give advice or suggestions to parents into giving their child CI rather then telling them to choose between hearing aids or CI and sometimes I just simply wish that the doctors can be more balanced about providing the options of hearing aids and cochlear implants. From what I know is that most seem to be very one-sided with the cochlear technology and not giving these parents other options that could be best for their own children...Even I know it may be a difficult decision process for each parents to go through but we cannot and shouldn't blame the parents for trying their best to make any decision... since it seems like most doctors usually only provide the CI option...over other options available.

Should we then blame the doctors then? Not neccessarily, but with the fact that these CI operations are very expensive and extensive could give way to the fact that these options are provided as most of these doctors knowingly will get more money for providing these kind of services......

So it's really not the parents fault for what decision they do make. :)

In making this thread, I really do feel for all those parents out there who are going through this, some might be having a hard time deciding what's best for their deaf child and we'll be more helpful when we're able to walk a mile or so in their shoes...instead of trying to stick to a side that only provides one option when we all know that there are a few options available out there that the parents can do their research on and for them to find which option they'll feel it is best for their deaf child. After all, we are one community and by being supportive and helpful during their decision process can be greatly appreciated. All the bickering, not being open-minded to all that is available out there from what I've seen in the other threads isn't helping these parents at all, instead we're pushing them away instead of welcoming them with open arms and being helpful. I know we all can do much better than what we have been doing or acting like in the other threads....
 
Great post - I also want to point out - CI's are NOT chosen by parents "instead" of hearing aids. A CI is only of consideration if the child in question can not get any benefit from a HA. And CI's aren't "drive-through surgery" no matter how some people try to portray that they are. They require extensive testing of the potential candidate, educating the parents (and the children too if they are old enough to understand), and repeated visits with audiologists before/after. Its not a snap decision - you can't just walk into a hospital and decide then and there you want your deaf child implanted and expect it to be done. I wish more people who decry CI's understood this.

When you consider that the majority of those who are born deaf are born into hearing families, its only NATURAL for an influx of emotions ranging from worry to fear to conusion, and wanting to ensure the child is able to communicate with the family, and ease their understanding of others (after all, it IS a hearing world out there!!)
 
I appreciate you starting this thread. However, your conception of the process is not at all as how we (parents of a deaf child) experienced it.

But I'm glad that you posted it in the way that you see it. Allow me to comment...

^Angel^ said:
for choosing CI over hearing aids...When your child is born deaf or lose his/her hearing, or otherwise damages inflicted from any type of illness, accidents, you often have questions and you want answers... doctors who try to give advice or suggestions to parents into giving their child CI rather then telling them to choose between hearing aids or CI and sometimes I just simply wish that the doctors can be more balanced about providing the options of hearing aids and cochlear implants. From what I know is that most seem to be very one-sided with the cochlear technology and not giving these parents other options that could be best for their own children...Even I know it may be a difficult decision process for each parents to go through but we cannot and shouldn't blame the parents for trying their best to make any decision... since it seems like most doctors usually only provide the CI option...over other options available.
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Is allready adressed by Neecy and I agree. We experienced that the doctor first "perscribed" HA's and only when my daughter showed no reaction, only then he started the CI-process. Not before.
^Angel^ said:
Should we then blame the doctors then? Not neccessarily, but with the fact that these CI operations are very expensive and extensive could give way to the fact that these options are provided as most of these doctors knowingly will get more money for providing these kind of services......
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This reasoning is not valid. If making money by doctors is a problem, look at how many ceasarians are performed because the woman requests it. Not because of a medical reason, but because the woman does not want to experience the pain of labour. Doctors probably earn more by allowing these operation, but there's no fight to stop this.
^Angel^ said:
So it's really not the parents fault for what decision they do make. :)

In making this thread, I really do feel for all those parents out there who are going through this, some might be having a hard time deciding what's best for their deaf child and we'll be more helpful when we're able to walk a mile or so in their shoes...instead of trying to stick to a side that only provides one option when we all know that there are a few options available out there that the parents can do their research on and for them to find which option they'll feel it is best for their deaf child. After all, we are one community and by being supportive and helpful during their decision process can be greatly appreciated. All the bickering, not being open-minded to all that is available out there from what I've seen in the other threads isn't helping these parents at all, instead we're pushing them away instead of welcoming them with open arms and being helpful. I know we all can do much better than what we have been doing or acting like in the other threads....
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I agree with you and again, I appreciate your view.
I can see that for a deaf person to see a child grow up deaf/Deaf is a beatiful thing to see. I also enjoyed the sign language when we started using it.
For a hearing person it is beautiful to see your child growing up with sound.

Different perspectives, different opinions.
With my daughter, I hope she will be able to use and see both perspectives...
 
Great post Angel, like neecy said it's not as easy as it sounds to jump into the surgery. In my case at least it took alot of evaluating and testing to see if she was a candidate. My daughter wore HA for a year and constantly had audiograms done to see if she had any benefit from her HA. Unfortunately she did not benefit due to her profound loss. The only reason doctors sound pushy is because the sooner you implant your child, the better speech perception your child will have. It is important to do it before the age of 3 so that there won't be to much language delay. All in all it"s the parent who makes the final decision, and again in my case i don't feel like i was pushed into it. As a parent it is our job to give our kids all the possibilities life can give. There was a few times that i thought i was'nt coming back to this or any other deaf sight because of all the critisizm, but then i thought to myself that i'm here to educate myself and everybody is going to have their opinion whether i agree with them or not. :)
 
Good thread-- ;)

Yea, parents sure could gain more confidence when we're more willing to help give the various of options that they can check further into or what information they'll learn of as well...also by being more encouraging rather than trying to 'step on toes' like if one option is better than the other or an option doesn't deserve the opportunity to check further into. ;)

Soooo...to all parents (hearing or deaf) who are members (and for those who lurk in here), wishes you all the very best getting down during the decision process, the research, no matter what options may or may not be available or can work for your deaf child...what matters most is being able to do what you do feel is best for your child, all in the 'name of love'. :)
 
I agree with Neecy and Cloggy..

regarding "making money" not true unless it is one-man, ten-room hospital so different story. .

So that "most doctors" are salaried annually. not all university medical centers make more money.
 
Boult said:
I agree with Neecy and Cloggy..

regarding "making money" not true unless it is one-man, ten-room hospital so different story. .

So that "most doctors" are salaried annually. not all university medical centers make more money.
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Perhaps so, but as with 'all' businesses...they're out to make money, right? Would you 'not' believe for one minute perhaps when a doctor or staff would make a decision partially, I mean--partially...based on the fact it's good business for them? Not saying that 'all' would derive from enacting in this manner. ;)
 
Roadrunner said:
Perhaps so, but as with 'all' businesses...they're out to make money, right? Would you 'not' believe for one minute perhaps when a doctor or staff would make a decision partially, I mean--partially...based on the fact it's good business for them? Not saying that 'all' would derive from enacting in this manner. ;)
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business that is not in medical fields, yes they are. but in medical fields, you forgot liability, malpractice lawsuit, equipments and etc etc so fees are higher.

my surgeon doctor didn't want to implant me with the brand I picked.. he was not comfortable and afterward, i asked him how do you feel, he said great! So obviously it wasn't about money.
 
Boult said:
business that is not in medical fields, yes they are. but in medical fields, you forgot liability, malpractice lawsuit, equipments and etc etc so fees are higher.

my surgeon doctor didn't want to implant me with the brand I picked.. he was not comfortable and afterward, i asked him how do you feel, he said great! So obviously it wasn't about money.
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Just as with any businesses, any can be held liable for their actions, take the airlines for instance.... :whistle: Which in turn can push prices, fees up just as well. ;)
 
Roadrunner said:
Just as with any businesses, any can be held liable for their actions, take the airlines for instance.... :whistle: Which in turn can push prices, fees up just as well. ;)
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You sure got a good point there... :scatter:
 
they raise prices based on GAS, weights, the frequency of travelers and UNIONS.

So the price you pay for the ticket is based on factors of all kinds. but in the end, those employees don't make lots of money based on tickets.

Do they make lots of money when there is air fare wars like $99 round trips. those pilots are paid monthly or annually! (salaried!)
 
Great thread, ^Angel^ :)

Umm to some of you who say it isn't all about money but with my experience I felt this person who pushed me into getting a CI was after money. Several years ago I went to see my audiologist to get a new BTE for myself and know what he did after he tested on me? He took me into another room to meet a doctor who then told me that I was qualified for a CI and I was like huh?? I didn't ask for to be tested for a cochlear implant. He then gave me a brochure and gave me a speech about CIs. I kept telling him that I was not really interested in getting a CI and also I wasn't ready to get one yet. He then tried to bring in someone who had a CI to talk with me but he was nowhere to be found. It was wrong of the audiologist and the doctor to pressure on me into getting a CI if I didn't ask for it.
 
ButterflyGirl said:
Great thread, ^Angel^ :)

Umm to some of you who say it isn't all about money but with my experience I felt this person who pushed me into getting a CI was after money. Several years ago I went to see my audiologist to get a new BTE for myself and know what he did after he tested on me? He took me into another room to meet a doctor who then told me that I was qualified for a CI and I was like huh?? I didn't ask for to be tested for a cochlear implant. He then gave me a brochure and gave me a speech about CIs. I kept telling him that I was not really interested in getting a CI and also I wasn't ready to get one yet. He then tried to bring in someone who had a CI to talk with me but he was nowhere to be found. It was wrong of the audiologist and the doctor to pressure on me into getting a CI if I didn't ask for it.
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Yeah, I would agree with you that they were wrong in doing such like that WHEN you already told them you are not interested. You could have just walk out of that room and go to lobby. So they will know and take you seriously that you really don't want one. sorry to hear that happens.

But what happened to you is not money motivated. They were simply interested in helping you further without listening to you. wrong move on their part though.
 
Boult said:
they raise prices based on GAS, weights, the frequency of travelers and UNIONS.

So the price you pay for the ticket is based on factors of all kinds. but in the end, those employees don't make lots of money based on tickets.

Do they make lots of money when there is air fare wars like $99 round trips. those pilots are paid monthly or annually! (salaried!)
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No matter...business is business, the point is the fact that all can be held liable for any reason whatsoever...as with the airlines, the points you have made is only partial to why their prices do go up, but yes, those points are usually the main reasons why it does, but, there are things an airline could do to their customers that's not 'normal' (there's sooo many that it's pointless to post here), etc., but once again, the bottom line...no matter the type of business, all are subjectable to lawsuits--so I hereby stand by my reasoning for the fact that doctors could base a decision or encourage such a decision partially when money will be good for their business, such as hospitals, small doctor's offices, clinics, etc.,.... ;)
 
ButterflyGirl said:
Great thread, ^Angel^ :)

Umm to some of you who say it isn't all about money but with my experience I felt this person who pushed me into getting a CI was after money. Several years ago I went to see my audiologist to get a new BTE for myself and know what he did after he tested on me? He took me into another room to meet a doctor who then told me that I was qualified for a CI and I was like huh?? I didn't ask for to be tested for a cochlear implant. He then gave me a brochure and gave me a speech about CIs. I kept telling him that I was not really interested in getting a CI and also I wasn't ready to get one yet. He then tried to bring in someone who had a CI to talk with me but he was nowhere to be found. It was wrong of the audiologist and the doctor to pressure on me into getting a CI if I didn't ask for it.
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Then again... some people just want to help... and can be pushy doing it...
 
Cloggy said:
Then again... some people just want to help... and can be pushy doing it...
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If some doctors just want to help, then let those people be the one asking for it first ....
 
Good Thread there, ^Angel^.

My opinion, I sometime wish the parents can give kids some of the time so they can tell their parents if they want to have CI or not. Since, I saw my friends who already have CI which they aren't happy because their parents "forced" them to getting CI early age which they don't like it. I do respect parents for having their kids to getting CI early. I don't mind if their kids want to getting the CI because they want it, not parents. That's what I feel comfortable since I saw my friends' feelings who already have CI. Don't get wrong idea, I don't hate kids' parents who are getting their kids CI, I just respect them and hope they will be happy. If they aren't happy, I hope they will understand why their parents want them to getting CI because I asked some of my friends' parents why they wanted to getting their kids to have CI in early age, they said because of can become hearing. I was like eh, can't become hearing in a second, it have to take few years to be understand almost 100% or something like that. Also, I have a best friend for 19 years which she got CI in 6 years ago, I know it's late but she hear pretty better but she is trying to understand people's talking but not enough because it's sort of late. I respect her for wanting the CI. I saw her happy with it, I'm happy for her.

And, once my mom took me to Tennessee for CI. The doctor gave me the test when I was maybe 5 years old, I'm not sure. Few hours later, doctor told my mom to choose to give me the CI or not, he's not going to force my mom to give me one because, if I get the CI then I can become retard in 50% of chance. My mom turned it down because of the risk for me to be retard if I get CI from the Surgery. I thank my mom for not letting that risk. I'm happy with my deaf, I don't need CI since I cannot talk that VERY good, just simple words like "No" "Mom" such like that plus don't read the lips that good, only simple words same like I said about talk. :dunno: Because I was very stubborn to not learn to speaking and reading the lips. I wish that I know how to talk and read the lips, that's alright. Im happy with myself right now ;)
 
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