Is it ok to force deafies learn Oral while cant force hearing ppl learn ASL

Casperman

Casperman

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That topic really impaceted me few years ago when my older son was born as yall know im from deaf family and my ex wife from a hearing family.. the other side wanted my boys to learn oral and i told them... if they wanted our boys to learn ORAL why cant her family learn ASL? bec i seen few ppl outta of her family members not use asl just oral and do they think its fair comparing to my moms hearing family --99 percent of her immatide family knows asl and use total commuication... we did had disagreements on that... now im asking yall
Do ya think its fair if my boys learn oral and other side learn asl same time or NOT? just wanted yalls opinion...
 
The reasonable answer is that it should be a two way street especially we are talking family here. So, I think it is quite fair but getting them to do but for it happening is a whole another story.

It is funny you mention this. I'm extremely oral using HAs and now a CI with no real knowledge of any sign. When my hearing was getting to the point that it was very difficult (a couple of years before my CI) my in-laws were agreeable to learn sign as a way to assist me (with me learning too). On the other hand, I couldn't see my family do as well with the concept.
 
Casperman, that's MY argument as to why hearing parents should learn ASL, if they want their dhh kids to learn to speak.....it's a two way street!
Tell your relatives that you want your kids to be BILINGAL......there's a tendancy to think of Sign as something special needs.....It's a real honest language!
 
Let's not forget that it also works for both parents, not just both ways.

If we were to expect your child to learn to speak orally for your ex-wife and her family and expect them to learn ASL for him, then we should expect him to learn ASL for you and your family and expect them to learn to speak orally for your child.

If there is too much tension, you could simply let your ex-wife teach your child how to speak orally and you teach your child how to use ASL.
 
Casperman said:
That topic really impaceted me few years ago when my older son was born as yall know im from deaf family and my ex wife from a hearing family.. the other side wanted my boys to learn oral and i told them... if they wanted our boys to learn ORAL why cant her family learn ASL? bec i seen few ppl outta of her family members not use asl just oral and do they think its fair comparing to my moms hearing family --99 percent of her immatide family knows asl and use total commuication... we did had disagreements on that... now im asking yall
Do ya think its fair if my boys learn oral and other side learn asl same time or NOT? just wanted yalls opinion...
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It is unfair to expect a deaf person to learn oral speech without forcing hearing people to learn ASL. It is fair if your boys learn oral while forcing your wife's side to learn ASL, though. I don't think it should be forced on the boys, though, but if your wife and her family must, then her family needs to learn ASL too. That's my opinion.
 
sorry if yall misunderstood me

gnulinuxman said:
It is unfair to expect a deaf person to learn oral speech without forcing hearing people to learn ASL. It is fair if your boys learn oral while forcing your wife's side to learn ASL, though. I don't think it should be forced on the boys, though, but if your wife and her family must, then her family needs to learn ASL too. That's my opinion.
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Sorry if yall misundertsand me .. my ex wife does use ASL but i m speakin of her family in general... i agree with yall and had good feedbacks
 
I agree too, if children who are Deaf or Hard of Hearing are to learn to sign and speak orally as well, then both sides of the family needs to ban together and all be on the same page. It's only fair to the children.
 
I think it is fair for them to learn ASL. I will learn it for my daughter, because its fair. She will have the choice of how she wants to communicate. The bilingual route is a good one too. Explain it to them as it is a recognized language, because it is.
Also try this approach with the in laws. If you family is primarily deaf, and uses asl, then it is fair for your son to speak asl, so he can effectively, and equally communicate with both families.
 
I still can't believe that there are some parents out there that won't learn to sign when they have a deaf child. The same goes for extended family. Why would you want to isolate the person whom is deaf. As for it being a two way street, I totally agree but I think the saying by Mr Spock speaks to the reasons. "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few... or of the one" Mind you, I don't agree with this, in this particular context, but perhaps it's the reason the inconsiderate use to defend their position.
 
I was forced learnin' how to speak w/the help of HAs when I was a little girl. I never knew that there was a sign language out there until I met an old pal. She was deaf and showed me her signin'. I was 8 years old at that time. She taught me fingerspellin' first and then, signin'. Now, I am an adult and know sign language fluently -- but, unfortunately I quit wearin' HAs when I was 11 years old, because I couldn't stand airplanes' noises flyin' across my parents' house EVERYDAY. Yikes ! That was annoyin' -- so, I stopped wearin' them. Of course, my biological father was very disappointed about this. I did explained to him about this situation and he accepted with an understandin' level. If, my parents didn't chose this house where the planes flew across, then I wouldn't quit HAs. I would probably be HOH by now with good voice/speech to speak.
I believe in both ways - oral and sign language, because you know how some hearin' people don't like to write, if they don't know sign language. So, I think it would be a good idea to use both -- IMO.
 
Why can't who refused adapt two ways? All they want be perfect one way.. instead two ways?
:dunno:
 
GalaxyAngel said:
Why can't who refused adapt two ways? All they want be perfect one way.. instead two ways?
:dunno:
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*off topic* GalaxyAngel, your avitar is pretty cool but kind of creepy at the same time. I like it!!
 
rockdrummer said:
I still can't believe that there are some parents out there that won't learn to sign when they have a deaf child. The same goes for extended family. Why would you want to isolate the person whom is deaf. As for it being a two way street, I totally agree but I think the saying by Mr Spock speaks to the reasons. "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few... or of the one" Mind you, I don't agree with this, in this particular context, but perhaps it's the reason the inconsiderate use to defend their position.
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About half of my deaf friends have parents who refuse to sign because "It's too hard!" or "It's just a silly little game nobody wants to play!" or "Why should I learn this--nobody else has to?" or another dumb excuse.
 
gnulinuxman said:
About half of my deaf friends have parents who refuse to sign because "It's too hard!" or "It's just a silly little game nobody wants to play!" or "Why should I learn this--nobody else has to?" or another dumb excuse.
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Well I can tell you from experience that it is hard. The difficult thing for me is retaining what I learn. My son doesn't sign much and I don't have any deaf adult friends in my area. One of my quests is to finally make friends with some deaf folks in my area but I don't know how to find them... you deafies are hard to come by around here. Geeze!
 
rockdrummer said:
Well I can tell you from experience that it is hard. The difficult thing for me is retaining what I learn. My son doesn't sign much and I don't have any deaf adult friends in my area. One of my quests is to finally make friends with some deaf folks in my area but I don't know how to find them... you deafies are hard to come by around here. Geeze!
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And I can tell you that as another hearing person who learned to sign, it was fun and wasn't very hard, but I always had someone to practice with....
 
gnulinuxman said:
And I can tell you that as another hearing person who learned to sign, it was fun and wasn't very hard, but I always had someone to practice with....
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ok.. your milage may vary... I am 45 but I am sure if I were younger, it would be eaiser...
 
Oralism sucks!

Casperman said:
That topic really impaceted me few years ago when my older son was born as yall know im from deaf family and my ex wife from a hearing family.. the other side wanted my boys to learn oral and i told them... if they wanted our boys to learn ORAL why cant her family learn ASL? bec i seen few ppl outta of her family members not use asl just oral and do they think its fair comparing to my moms hearing family --99 percent of her immatide family knows asl and use total commuication... we did had disagreements on that... now im asking yall
Do ya think its fair if my boys learn oral and other side learn asl same time or NOT? just wanted yalls opinion...
Click to expand...


I am an ex-oralist so don't ever ask me! :bsflag:
 
Right on!! Deaf image

Why pushing Deaf children with or without Mulitply disability to be a hearing kid in early age? Give them a break and a chance to be himself or herself as being deaf. That is their freedom choice that Deaf chldren have the rights to be equal treatment.

Whoo hoo! I am not allowed for/by being deaf all those years.. What s that supposed for me feel that makes me shut up and cannot able to express my true feelings by audism people. ASL can help me to gain more knowledge skills and have a better concept of understanding in early age. No more isolation and child abuse toward Deaf children.


Is it Deaf children 's rights?? Y E S of course it s.

Thank you! ;)
Sweetmind
 
Sweetmind said:
Right on!! Deaf image

Why pushing Deaf children with or without Mulitply disability to be a hearing kid in early age? Give them a break and a chance to be himself or herself as being deaf. That is their freedom choice that Deaf chldren have the rights to be equal treatment.

Whoo hoo! I am not allowed for/by being deaf all those years.. What s that supposed for me feel that makes me shut up and cannot able to express my true feelings by audism people. ASL can help me to gain more knowledge skills and have a better concept of understanding in early age. No more isolation and child abuse toward Deaf children.


Is it Deaf children 's rights?? Y E S of course it s.

Thank you! ;)
Sweetmind
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Please knock off the 'audist' attitude, 'audist' this and that....obviously this construes an act of not really wanting to 'bridge the gap' with hearing ppls. and deaf ppls. (even HoH as well) and not trying to help make the world a better place, it can't be done when coming down a bit harsh toward certain 'audist' folks, afterall, not all audist ppls. hold the same sort of attitude or have a degree of ignorance.

You have every right to express your feelings, yet, please leave the term 'audist' out, it really has no bearings whatsoever here in AD, we have quite a few 'hearing' members here in AD as well and bringing up that doesn't serve in the best interest for all our members here in AD. Surely you can bring up issues without having to have a 'put-down' on 'audist' this and that....it's tiring...I'm sure you're tired of many instances in your life, the experiences you've had along the way, but don't put a damper on 'others' who are hearing, who can speak, at least for the most part, a lot of them are willing to work along with one another to find that common ground we all can share and work together to make life a bit easier for everyone!

So please...reconsider how you bring such issues up here in AD!

Thank you and now, you have a nice day--!! :)


~RR
 
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