Is It Appropriate To .....

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Another thought here -

As we all know, Angel and RoadRunner are getting married this summer, and I know Angel is trying to get invitations - she wanted to know if it was proper to mention that money gifts was preferred instead of regular wedding gifts on the invitation itself.

Instead, this thread has spiraled out of control - by going into different directions at once.

Now, can we get back to the original discussion for once and all, please?
 
BearBeauty said:
Liebling.... Most Brides and Grooms don't expect gifts at their wedding, they juust want the presence of the people they cherish most, so they invite the people they love. It's not greedy to go to a wedding and not bring a gift if you can't afford it. Most of the time, Like Shel90's relatives, the people can't afford it.. so they won't bring gifts. personally, I'd be more offended if you brought a gift, when I know you can't afford the gift.. but That's Just me.
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Shed90´s relatives already let them know that they can´t afford anything. It´s good manner of them to let them know that they can´t afford or Sheld90 know their relatives are poor and can´t afford to travel long way to attend their wedding but Shed90 is happy that they are able to acheive their trip to attend their wedding. Shed90 told them to welcome no matter what because they live long way to attend their wedding which is wonderful thought. I see no excuse when the people turn up at their wedding with empty hands and saying that they can´t afford to buy a gift or card. *smh*
 
Reba said:
RebelGirl posted, "I mean come on, there's no rules in the 2000's. Seriously.. its the book of rules.. and that's old." You agree with that?

So, I guess your "rule" about empty hands no longer applies?

"Please" and "thank you" are gone.

No more "RSVPs".

We can all be rude, crude and lewd to each other because these are the 2000's.

Fine.


Rules are all about respect for others. Without rules, there is no respect. You agree with RebelGirl that there are no more rules. So, there is no more respect.

OK.

I guess there really is no point in us discussing what is "appropriate" if all the rules are gone and this is 2007. There is no more such thing as "appropriate" or "inappropriate".

If it feels good, do it. Oops! That's from the 1960's, so we can't use that either. :roll:
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This is a simple that I don´t agree with "rules". I support this link where I provided in my previous posts.

http://www.alldeaf.com/738225-post187.html
 
Reba said:
Because people are more important than things.



Maybe they feel that way because other people lay a guilt trip on them and make them feel uncomfortable about showing up. That's not nice. :mad:
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:rofl: this is a feeble excuse, I ever seen...
 
Liebling.. assuming what you've said is right.. then My entire family can't come to my next wedding..because I know they can't afford the 500 dollar plane tickets to Washington State.

Think about that. I'd rather have them come without gifts, then not come at all. Just something to think about.
 
:nodding: This is the first time of my life, I've actually heard of a rule of the etiquettes, yet when it comes to someone's else wedding, they have the right to do whatever they want with it inculding what they put on their wedding invitations and the guests has a choice, either bring a gift/money/food or bring nothing at all, simple as that, I don't understand why some people are making such a big deal out of this...People have their own ways on how they do their parties or weddings, no wedding is alike...simple if you don't like how they do their wedding or their invitations, then don't go.....
 
Angel said:
:nodding: This is the first time of my life, I've actually heard of a rule of the etiquettes, yet when it comes to someone's else wedding, they have the right to do whatever they want with it inculding what they put on their wedding invitations and the guests has a choice, either bring a gift/money/food or just bring yourself, simple as that, I don't see why it such a big deal of making a fuss over this....People have their own ways on how they do their parties or weddings, no wedding is alike....
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I agree, bec it is yours and RR's wedding, inspite of others POV, it yours and RR's decision how you want in your wedding.
 
BearBeauty said:
Liebling.. assuming what you've said is right.. then My entire family can't come to my next wedding..because I know they can't afford the 500 dollar plane tickets to Washington State.

Think about that. I'd rather have them come without gifts, then not come at all. Just something to think about.
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*nodding understanding and agreement*

I would not want them to get extra gift for me because they spent their flight expenses to attend my wedding is good enough for me.
 
Angel said:
:nodding: This is the first time of my life, I've actually heard of a rule of the etiquettes, yet when it comes to someone's else wedding, they have the right to do whatever they want with it inculding what they put on their wedding invitations and the guests has a choice, either bring a gift/money/food or bring nothing at all, simple as that, I don't understand why some people are making such a big deal out of this...People have their own ways on how they do their parties or weddings, no wedding is alike....
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*nodding agreement*
 
Thank you guys, Honestly I haven't decide on what I'm going to do yet, but I do understand where everyone is coming from on this and a lot of people see this differently too, I've read both sides on this issue, so I'm still stuggling on how I'm going to do this and whatever I do, I hope it's the right decision....
 
Look listen Angel and RoadRunner...

Don't let anyone criticized your wedding.. because IT'S YOUR OWN HAPPINESS and ANYTHING WHAT R U WANT PLAN TO....

Go for it...
 
Angel said:
Thank you guys, Honestly I haven't decide on what I'm going to do yet, but I do understand where everyone is coming from on this and a lot of people see this differently too, I've read both sides on this issue, so I'm still stuggling on how I'm going to do this and whatever I do, I hope it's the right decision....
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what are you confused about?? do you feel like you are walking on a thin rope??? i mean what are you worried about? :(


it is YOUR n RR's wedding, period! and you are entitled to do what YOU FEEL is the BEST FOR YOU TWO!!! NO ONE ELSE... yes we all have different POV, different backgrounds, experiences, and whatnot! ya know? don't worry about what others think or feel bad/guilty... if you let it happen then it is your fault for LETTING THEM GET TO YOU... :) WEDDING IS A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EVENT AND ONLY FOR A FEW HOURS... so make the best of it WITH YOUR HEAD AND HEART! :) otherwise you guys will be miserable and not have good memories of your wedding due to the expense of other people!!! and then feel guilty and say "I WISH I DID THIS, I WISH I DIDN'T DO THAT, I SHOULD HAVE LISTEN TO THEM, BLAH BLAH! (HAVING REGRETS IN OTHER WORDS!) do you want that to happen? i doubt it! :)
 
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GalaxyAngel said:
Look listen Angel and RoadRunner...

Don't let anyone criticized your wedding.. because IT'S YOUR OWN HAPPINESS and ANYTHING WHAT R U WANT PLAN TO....

Go for it...
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Right...

Angel, don´t let anyone go to you... It´s your own wedding and decision... I support your decision, not anyone else.
 
FeistyChick said:
do you feel like you are walking on a thin rope???
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Honestly yes that what I'm feeling lately....I'm not worry about anything, I don't like it when people go around assume or judging how we do our wedding and etc, without really understand the question behind all of this, only half of you understand it while the other half of you don't.....I'm tired of creating thread about my wedding and some of you keep assume this is what going on in my mind, none of you know me personally only my true friends do or my family that's all...

I can not believe one question would get soo carry away where I see people bashing each others over this, all I wanted to hear was an opinion not a debates or someone coming in my thread trying to trash it up just because they're holding something against me, this BS, I asked a simple question I expect a respect coming from all of you but I don't seem to get it from a lot of you here, and that why I feel like walking on egg shell when I'm replying in this thread, whatever I say, someone assume this is what Im talking about or what I'm doing or what I am spending the money on, I don't see why it anyone's business to know what I'm using the money on or whatever, I don't question people about their business or sure enough I don't tell them what to do either period and no one is telling me how I should do my own wedding either...All I did was create this thread and asked a simple question I don't understand how hard it is to do that?...and I sure don't like it when people saying " Angel do the right thing, " what am I doing wrong here what question had I asked that is wrong??
 
*clapping hands* Way to go, my dear Angelic!

I can understand how you feel - I have not seen a thread hijacked so blatantly this way for a long time, and it's a shame that it had to happen to a thread that had a very, very simple question.

I hope that those who ignored your question, and went off on tangents that had no bearing on the topic, will read your vent carefully and realize what they've done.
 
Angel said:
Yes it's called " rude " therefore I don't see how it's yours or anyone business what honeymoon we're going on, and what we do with our money....therefore it does not answer my first question on page one....
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No, it is NOT rude. When you talked about wishin' to go to Hawaii for your honeymoon... that was nothin'. It's no big deal as everyone has their own wishes, too. They go to any places where ever they wish. No difference. And, what's more.... I don't care what you want to do with the money. All I am just sayin' that it is rude to write on the invitation cards requestin' for money -that's MY opinion. That's all.
 
Angel said:
Honestly yes that what I'm feeling lately....I'm not worry about anything, I don't like it when people go around assume or judging how we do our wedding and etc, without really understand the question behind all of this, only half of you understand it while the other half of you don't.....I'm tired of creating thread about my wedding and some of you keep assume this is what going on in my mind, none of you know me personally only my true friends do or my family that's all...

I can not believe one question would get soo carry away where I see people bashing each others over this, all I wanted to hear was an opinion not a debates or someone coming in my thread trying to trash it up just because they're holding something against me, this BS, I asked a simple question I expect a respect coming from all of you but I don't seem to get it from a lot of you here, and that why I feel like walking on egg shell when I'm replying in this thread, whatever I say, someone assume this is what Im talking about or what I'm doing or what I am spending the money on, I don't see why it anyone's business to know what I'm using the money on or whatever, I don't question people about their business or sure enough I don't tell them what to do either period and no one is telling me how I should do my own wedding either...All I did was create this thread and asked a simple question I don't understand how hard it is to do that?...and I sure don't like it when people saying " Angel do the right thing, " what am I doing wrong here what question had I asked that is wrong??
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yea- i noticed this threat got carried away by some people unfortunately... (sigh)-- and some people went overboard and jumped the gun as well...

the point is... everyone is different, (like i mentioned in my previous post)... i am COMPELLED to assume that you got your answers from the questions that needed to be answered... so follow your heart...

you are absolutely correct! it is NONE OF ANYONE'S AFFAIR about what money you guys are using, or how you are using your money... that is a very personal matter... (people who ask about money like that are known not to have "class" and of course it is considered very rude/ in a poor taste... so don't let that get to you!)

i think that your friends are frustrated because (it seems to me) that you might be listening to everyone's opinions when you guys should be making the decisions for yourselves with our/your friends' input/feedbacks... they want to see you happy and that is why they keep telling do the right thing,(meaning do what YOU FEEL IS THE BEST FOR YOU GUYS!) correct me if i am wrong...

right now i am visualizing myself being in your shoes... i would get the answers that i wanted to know about... and then decided what is the BEST FOR ME AND MY HUSBAND TO BE... -- everyone will always be opinated/have opinions... and be firm about it/them... it is just the nature of their personalities.. everyone has their own personalities-- and there will be some clashes here and there no matter how hard you try...

you know that you can't please everyone because look at what is happening to you:( you are feeling trapped, confused, miserable... etc... and as the time goes on, you will get more stressed out from all this nonsense... it is not worth it! :( you don't need the stress on the top of everything! :(

EDIT: about the hawaii trip, i don't knowanything about it... as you know i am not in here too often... but a lot lately related to CI, etc... but yes whoever talked about the hawaii trip/ or whatever was mentioned about it in a thread should have stayed there as this is a WHOLE NEW AND DIFFERENT TOPIC... simple as that! :)

and IMHO it is considered "poor mannered" to write "money" on the wedding invitations... at the bridal showers they normal put down the places the bride and groom are registered at ... but when it comes to the weddings people either would go to the store to pick a gift from the registry or ask you guys what you wanted as a gift... AGAIN, THIS IS MY BELIEF.... like like you said in one of the threads, you were raised and taught things like this in a different way... just like i was too :) so if that is what you were taught, then by all means, do what you know the best from what you were taught...

just don't MENTION $$$, people will either ask you guys or put money in the envelopes to hand to you on the day of your wedding... :)

hope this helps!? :)
 
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