Interesting experience last night

[faire_jour]

So, my family went to a birthday party for one of my daughter's friends last night. My husband and I were the only hearing people at the party. There had been some kind of mix up with the reservation (we were at a Chucky Cheese type buisness) and they were writing back and forth, trying to figure it out. At the same time the employee said "Wait a minute, we have someone who signs..." and goes off to find that person. (We all, of course, roll our eyes because that means that someone here once learned how to fingerspell from Sesame Street) So, the mom said again, "No, let's just write and finish this".

So, we finally get everything settled and into our party room. They write on the wipe board "If you need anything, let us know". So, the party goes on, and the board works well, they get soda and pizza, kids are having a good time. About an hour later, the party host figures out I can hear :roll: She walks up to me and says "Can you ask them if they want the pizza boxed up?" and I say back "Yeah, you can write that and she'll answer you." The party host looked dumbfounded, but wrote it on the board.

The mom and I just laughed! I am sure the poor 15 year old has no idea why I wouldn't speak and make this easier for her, but if the mom had wanted me to interpret, she would have asked me (she has in the past) and really, she grew up totally oral, so if she had wanted to speak, she would have done it herself!

 

[Jiro]

but if the mom had wanted me to interpret, she would have asked me (she has in the past) and really, she grew up totally oral, so if she had wanted to speak, she would have done it herself!

I've got a mixed feeling but IMO - what you did there was not cool. Even if a deaf person grew up orally and spent years in speech therapy... he/she wouldn't still be able to speak that well. It's like a blind person asking me to guide him across the street and I refused to do so because he has a guide dog or 52" cane.

 

[Tousi]

Right, Jiro and that's gonna smart!

 

[faire_jour]

I've got a mixed feeling but IMO - what you did there was not cool. Even if a deaf person grew up orally and spent years in speech therapy... he/she wouldn't still be able to speak that well. It's like a blind person asking me to guide him across the street and I refused to do so because he has a guide dog or 52" cane.

She didn't ask me to interpret, so I didn't. Why should I interfer, isn't not my place. She is a grown person who can handle her affairs, and does, every single day. Why on earth should I step in and take over???

 

[Tousi]

She didn't ask me to interpret, so I didn't. Why should I interfer, isn't not my place. She is a grown person who can handle her affairs, and does, every single day. Why on earth should I step in and take over???

Oh, that's clearer now. I do the same amongst my adult deaf friends. Not the "mothering" type here.

 

[Jiro]

She didn't ask me to interpret, so I didn't. Why should I interfer, isn't not my place. She is a grown person who can handle her affairs, and does, every single day. Why on earth should I step in and take over???

but she said "Can you ask them if they want the pizza boxed up?"

Like you said - you've terp'ed for her before so why nada this time? What she's gotta do? Ask "Can you terp for me please?"

 

[Frisky Feline]

but she said "Can you ask them if they want the pizza boxed up?"

Like you said - you've terp'ed for her before so why nada this time? What she's gotta do? Ask "Can you terp for me please?"

FJ meant that party host asked Fj to tell the mom but it's between the party host and the mom. I assume that the mom is hoh or deaf oral.

 

[faire_jour]

Wirelessly posted

She didn't ask me to interpret, so I didn't. Why should I interfer, isn't not my place. She is a grown person who can handle her affairs, and does, every single day. Why on earth should I step in and take over???

but she said "Can you ask them if they want the pizza boxed up?"

Like you said - you've terp'ed for her before so why nada this time? What she's gotta do? Ask "Can you terp for me please?"

the employee asked me instead of the ********, i refused to take over and instead told the employee to direct all questions to the mom.

 

[somedeafdudefromPNW]

Wirelessly posted

Jiro, she was talking about the employee, not the deaf person.

 

[Jiro]

the employee asked me instead of the ********, i refused to take over and instead told the employee to direct all questions to the mom.

well I understand - you do the way you do and I do the way I do.

 

[Frisky Feline]

Wirelessly posted



the employee asked me instead of the ********, i refused to take over and instead told the employee to direct all questions to the mom.

Same here, sometimes i happen to be in the daycare and the young staff tried to talk to me. I simply asked for the paper and pen. then the staff tried to tell something to my kids to interpret for me. I asked them not to do that and talk to me directly. Kids have nothing to do with this conversation and let them be children, not interpreter. They seem to feel foolish when they did that to me and kids. In fact, i am tired of doing it over and over and over but i have to.

 

[faire_jour]

Wirelessly posted

the employee asked me instead of the ********, i refused to take over and instead told the employee to direct all questions to the mom.

well I understand - you do the way you do and I do the way I do.

you think i should take overthe conversation? The mom is more than capable of communicating.

if i'd come in and said "i stepped in and helped the deaf person..." i'd have been murdered for saying deaf people need hearing people! She was perfectly fine without me!

 

[Jiro]

you think i should take overthe conversation? The mom is more than capable of communicating.

if i'd come in and said "i stepped in and helped the deaf person..." i'd have been murdered for saying deaf people need hearing people! She was perfectly fine without me!

FJ - a couple of posters pointed out something in your OP. my apology. I got mixed up. What you did there - I would do same thing.

sorry.

 

[evil_queen_lisa]

i agree with what you did FJ. You are a 'guest' at the party. Not the host. It is not your job to figure out what should happen to the pizza. (nor is a guest really supposed to know if the host chooses to take it home for supper the next night!)
*EQL*

 

[Bottesini]

Also great as it does not reduce your deaf friends to a dependent status.

 

[whatdidyousay!]

I hated when I would go out to eat with my older sister , she would terp'ed for me when I did not ask her to. She would repeat everything I said and the waitress would look at ME like I am dumb or something. I will ask what a waitress said if I can't understand or I can't hear them .

 

[AlleyCat]

Also great as it does not reduce your deaf friends to a dependent status.

Perfect answer!

I think you (FJ) did the right thing. You didn't step over the mom's toes by letting her feel incapable of handling matters. When I go out with friends to restaurants, etc., I never order for them unless they ask me to. And of course I'm always happy to do so when they do ask. So good job, FJ. You also taught the employee/party host a gentle lesson that she can find alternative ways to communicate.

 

[TWA]

I completely agree with what the course of action you took.

 

[posts from hell]

I see nothing interesting about this. But glad you're not putting the deaf down...

 

[Bebonang]

I've got a mixed feeling but IMO - what you did there was not cool. Even if a deaf person grew up orally and spent years in speech therapy... he/she wouldn't still be able to speak that well. It's like a blind person asking me to guide him across the street and I refused to do so because he has a guide dog or 52" cane.

Jiro, I think you are the dependent person who need someone to interpret for you wherever you want to go like restaurant or other public places. You are just a baby. :P