I'm starting to hate deaf people....I am hard of hearing

TXgolfer said:
Oops, I need to clarify. By "DHH" I am referring to Deaf Happy Hour.....not the entire community. Austin leaves out "Professional" from their title. In fact DHH now stands for "Diverity Happy Hour" in Austin. They changed the name.

I have met a handful of very nice deaf folks in Austin.
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ah. yea same here. "Professional" was removed because it's owned by a VR company.
 
Tousi said:
I don't think you've (you in general) met a nice Austinite until you've met Timothy Jaech.
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Hmmm... then I don't know very many nice people. I don't think I know the name. I will ask my wife when she gets back. She knows a lot more people than I do.
 
TXgolfer said:
Oops, I need to clarify. By "DHH" I am referring to Deaf Happy Hour.....not the entire community. Austin leaves out "Professional" from their title. In fact DHH now stands for "Diverity Happy Hour" in Austin. They changed the name.

I have met a handful of very nice deaf folks in Austin.
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Gotcha. I didn't pick up on that. We call it DNO here (Deaf Night Out). It used to be called DPHH, then changed to DNO.
 
well there's militants everywhere ....Maybe it depends on where you are.
I do know of a lot of young HOH kids and teens who have been late introduced to the Deaf community. They say they feel accepted.....Maybe the tide is turning.
 
deafdyke said:
Were the people who were being kinda exclusive older? I think you may have your answer there. Some older Deafies can be very exclusive....however the younger generation can be more openminded.
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It was mostly old people, but some were mostly late 20's.
 
diehardbiker said:
Sorry hear your experience, and I MIGHT be guilty one. I think it has to do with sense itself. To be honest, majority of Deaf people felt left out by Hearing people in their childhood, and I think it builds their resentment against those who refused learn ASL, and is afraid that once meet and bye, whats point of trying to be friendly with them?

I am not pointing at who is at fault. Because, I can understand why Hearing people don't understand about Deafness and confused to begin with. After what I have heard, seen, thoughts and trying to understand this, and this ACTUALLY got me getting curious on what I am missing out from Hearing world, whats so special about sounds, what is it really? I am tone DEAF and never understand single wave of sound, and I believe there are plenty waves of sounds and they all are not the same to hearing people but to me, it is all same.

I believe it will take several decades before Hearing people finally figured out, and it may be just as simple as "Difference in types of senses".

Anyway, its sad fact that majority of Deaf people have been left out by hearing people too often to the point its easy for Deaf to stereotyping another who is either losing their hearing or try to learn sign language from them.

My little word of advice to you, read under my signature of one of known child with autism, his quote (That is J-MAC) and I believe he is right on this one. If you still don't know who is J-MAC, google "J-MAC" and it will explain you everything. So, don't give up.
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WOW! You are so right! I can see it from that side that deaf can feel left out. That is a good point. I can see why they might would treat people who lack ASL skills differently.
 
green427 said:
Yeah, they all are like that. Nice deaf people don't exist. We are all out to treat the HOH like crap.

Seriously....if they treated you like crap....move on to the next group.
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Thanks for the sarcasm! A good example of what I was talking about. Anyways that is alright. Post what you want. I don't think 100% are that way. Just respect my feelings. I was just trying to be myself and then I got so bashed from wearing hearing aids..to the way I grew up...to what I labeled myself as. Oh well ...just have your opinion...that is alright. :)

Which group would you prefer I move to? I live in a SMALL CITY..LOL:giggle:
 
diehardbiker said:
I had to humbly disagree with you

"All" is myth, there are few nice Deafies out there, but sadly most aren't.
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Oh that is a good point too. I guess it depends on where you live I am seeing or just meeting the right ones. I wasn't even being rude to this guy who is being sarcastic on my post or whatever. Out of all of them I have met it was like they were testing me. That is all I am saying. Their conversations were basically about how deaf you ARE not compared to them...hmmm:shock:
 
Frisky Feline said:
Like everyone mentuoned. Move on the new group. some Deaf people have no time for the new learning ASL or Some deaf people are rude or some deaf people have their plans to meet their friends.
I for one who always meet new learning people all the time. I did have a few mintues of time to chat with them then i zoom to my own friends who i know for years. This is the only time i have for my old friends. I think any learning asl people need to be patience and have good sports in a positive vibes that would make any differences.

Any hoh or oral deaf peeps tend to hang out together first once they all feel comfortable with asl then chat with pure asl users with no problem. :dunno2:
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AS you insist I will join a new group sheesh...I am not going to them to LEARN as you insist. I guess my point went over your head. My point was not asking them "hey how you say this or that". I do sign I just don't sign PURE ASL. As I sign more PSE. I am just saying how I feel like I am on a judgement trial. Why should I have to explain why I choose to wear aids? Why if they clearly understand my signing that it matters if it is PURE ASL or not. And how can I come into a group and you label me before you even know anything about me...It is like I felt like being HOH receives lower respect...Anyways thanks for your comment. :wave:
 
AlleyCat said:
I don't think it has to be either/or.

I'm befuddled by this whole thread. Where I live, in our (large!) deaf community, I don't see other Deafies bashing others, especially not for HA usage or signing skills. Not even close. I have many Deaf friends (in real life, not just online) and their signing skills all vary. I don't mind any which way they choose to communicate. To each his/her own.
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I think it is just where I live since you all insist that it is just the group I picked. Your point is actually a good one. But don't say you have never met a Deaf person who has NOT said anything about another Deaf or HOH person who prefers a hearing aid or even using a different style of signing. I am glad you are open enough to accept the difference though. :cool2:
 
Infinite8811 said:
AS you insist I will join a new group sheesh...I am not going to them to LEARN as you insist. I guess my point went over your head. My point was not asking them "hey how you say this or that". I do sign I just don't sign PURE ASL. As I sign more PSE. I am just saying how I feel like I am on a judgement trial. Why should I have to explain why I choose to wear aids? Why if they clearly understand my signing that it matters if it is PURE ASL or not. And how can I come into a group and you label me before you even know anything about me...It is like I felt like being HOH receives lower respect...Anyways thanks for your comment. :wave:
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As I read you post here, it leaves me shaking my head in wonderment as to how you could have possibly felt rejected ...

Such social skills should stand you in good stead all throughout your life!











:P
 
It's a culture and language thing probably. It's like visiting a different country where people speak another language, you tend to be marginalized a lot because you can't speak the language.
 
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I've been thinking alot about this since you first posted.

I think to some degree it's just people being people and I still stand behind what I said: you'll likely find some good if you stay long enough. I also think what DieHardBiker said makes sense: with the history of so many kinds of abuse the larger hearing culture has subjected deaf people to, some people are bound to feel sort of protective of their community. (DieHardBiker, that's not exactly what you said - I'm sorry if I'm twisting your words - probably more using your thoughts as a jumping off point for mine.)

Anyway, I think there's another factor affecting the situation. And I could be wrong - I've only been socializing with Deaf people for about a year. But I've noticed something that strikes me as pretty intense.

Deaf people are born what, about 1 in 2000? So it's a very small community compared to the hearing world, even if you live somewhere with a good-sized Deaf scene. Not all those people become fluent in ASL (or other signing). So narrow that to the ones that do- it's not a huge group. And I start thinking (and noticing) what this translates (or could) into in real life Deaf scenes.

You maybe have a small group of people in your local area with whom you can really communicate in your first language (for some, the only language they feel really comfortable in). So those people are really important, because if we can't communicate, I think we die in a way, inside. What does that mean? It means that this group of people needs to stick together for a long time. It doesn't mean they're not going to have all the problems and frustrations and conflicts that all people have when they try to deal with each other.

So think about that. You can't walk away so easily. If one of your friends does something to hurt you or make you really angry or mess up your life, it's not such a simple thing to tell them to get lost and stay lost.* So you're here, in this community, for a long time, with the same people, some of whom you've probably had some very upsetting experiences with, and then time passes and histories get more complicated, so the scene can be pretty intense, just under the surface.

Ok, so now you're the new guy (or gal) and you walk into this scene. You're trying to make friends, maybe work on language skills, maybe just get out of the house and enjoy yourself a little, whatever. But you're walking into this intricate (and in some places painful) social scene with alot of history, none of which you know about. No one wants to open up all of their messy stories, that's their business, no reason to tell you. But it affects you. Because without knowing the histories, it's really easy to unknowingly stumble into an awkward situation with no idea what buttons you've hit for people. Even if it feels like you didn't do anything at all - you just walked in, said hello, and then things start going wrong.

And I think for some people, if stuff gets stirred up, they're not going to blame each other. They can't afford to. The only option is to take it out on you.** I don't necessarily mean that in a cruel way. I think people cause pain because they're in pain. It's sometimes more of a reaction than anything with a plan.

So I don't know. I see things going on and try to make sense of them, and I could be making mistakes in my analysis. I also don't mean to say this is something that only happens to Deaf people. I've seen it (or I think I have) in other small communities.


*I'm not saying it never happens. But the forces preventing it are alot stronger than those in the hearing world.

**I think that with enough time, this can change. People start getting to know you and you start to become a part of the community. You become more of a real person and less of a punching bag. This doesn't happen with everyone all at once:0
 
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Infinite8811 said:
AS you insist I will join a new group sheesh...I am not going to them to LEARN as you insist. I guess my point went over your head. My point was not asking them "hey how you say this or that". I do sign I just don't sign PURE ASL. As I sign more PSE. I am just saying how I feel like I am on a judgement trial. Why should I have to explain why I choose to wear aids? Why if they clearly understand my signing that it matters if it is PURE ASL or not. And how can I come into a group and you label me before you even know anything about me...It is like I felt like being HOH receives lower respect...Anyways thanks for your comment. :wave:
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Im sorry as to what you feel about it. In case you wonder, I sign PSE as well. :) I do sign ASL but not pure ASL. No need to require the pure asl. Everyone likes people with positive attitude and capable of communicating if they know little ASL or PSE.
 
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