I'm starting to hate deaf people....I am hard of hearing

Lau2046 said:
On AllDeaf...not much and in real life you'll find the same is true. I often find within forums people in those closed off or tightly woven cultures tend to show their true colors by saying - or rather posting they think of you but would never dare to say in real life meeting. Whenever I mixed with deaf community, I felt like there was a barrier between me and them...and I don't mean a language barrier or deafness. I felt like they already decided who I was, and what I was about, and whether I was worthy of their time right from the first meeting. My response was to blow them off and direct my time and efforts to activies I enjoyed meeting people who were more open and accepting. I've met people from vastly different cultures: Cambodian, Russian, Korean, Chinese -that were far nicer and more interested in getting to know who I am as a person.

There's too much militancy among the deaf in social situations for me to feel comfortable. You meet them and they want to know how you label yourself, "Big D", "little D", "hearing impaired", "deaf".....it's never ending, you have to come with a label. You're not allowed to be you. They need to put everyone in a box and categorize them. Honestly when I go out at the end of the week, I want to unwind and have a nice time. I don't want to have to impress people every time to prove my worth as a person. I'm not saying everyone that's deaf acts this way, many are nice and laid back, but most aren't.
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You mean like this Laura?

Bebonang said:
The first bold is that you had answer his question when he asked you if you are deaf, sort of matter of fact manner. You could have told him that you are hard of hearing, not deaf, as you can answer the phone for a mild or moderate hearing loss. He believed you what you said that you are deaf.

The second bold is what happen is that you were not honest with him with the word "deaf" which mean you can not answer the phone, even with hearing aids or CIs. He felt that you had lied to him about that word "deaf" when you have hearing aids to support your ability to call or answer the phone in the phone booth. You lost him as an acquaintance with him. He may become your friend if you are honest enough with him about your label. It all depend on your attitude of how you respond to the Deaf man that talk with you in ASL.

I am militant, even in my old age. I go along with the guy who jolt him across his head because you, SneakerNet could not defined between the word "deaf" and "hard of hearing". I hope you understand what I am getting at.

The second bold is that I find that it is really funny when you had to walk up to the phone booth to use the phone without a TTY. That is comical. It can happen. :)
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I guess we are not people, we are packages......or something??? Really I thought you might be exaggerating, I hoped you were. I've never been involved with the Deaf Community, so what would I know. I guess you were right.

BUT, given the reaction of everyone else that responded to Sneakernet's story that gives me hope that not everyone is like that :)
 
People, no need to lash back at Bebonang. She is trying her best to express her opinion in a language that is obviously not her most fluent. The important point here that is obvious is that honesty is the key to acceptance in any social group or interaction with people. Building trust in any friendship or relationship is something that is vital, so honesty is key.
 
SneakerNet said:
It's funny the way you said this in bold and I happen to mentioned the same way to one deaf guy who is really big D thing.
When I was in deaf bowling league and one guy asked me if I'm deaf, and I kinda shrugged myself and saying..."Yeeeahhh" and he look at me with signing "ahh". Few second later I got paged (remember the old day with pager?) and it was from work. So, I walk up to the pay phone and get ready to call at work, and all of sudden that same guy who asked me earlier slapped at the back of my head, I mean it was a strong jolt and said myself WTF!! and I turn around and he signed with a revolt reaction "YOU ARE NOT DEAF!!". Holy mackerel!!! Then I signed back to him.."without my HA I'm deaf!!! My HA just assist to hear just like you wearing glasses!!! If you take it off..you blind!!! SO YOU ARE NOT BLIND!!! He just walk away... Then I lost my frigg'in 25 cents...jeesh...
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Bebonang said:
The first bold is that you had answer his question when he asked you if you are deaf, sort of matter of fact manner. You could have told him that you are hard of hearing, not deaf, as you can answer the phone for a mild or moderate hearing loss. He believed you what you said that you are deaf.

The second bold is what happen is that you were not honest with him with the word "deaf" which mean you can not answer the phone, even with hearing aids or CIs. He felt that you had lied to him about that word "deaf" when you have hearing aids to support your ability to call or answer the phone in the phone booth. You lost him as an acquaintance with him. He may become your friend if you are honest enough with him about your label. It all depend on your attitude of how you respond to the Deaf man that talk with you in ASL.

I am militant, even in my old age. I go along with the guy who jolt him across his head because you, SneakerNet could not defined between the word "deaf" and "hard of hearing". I hope you understand what I am getting at.

The second bold is that I find that it is really funny when you had to walk up to the phone booth to use the phone without a TTY. That is comical. It can happen. :)
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I did not copy the bolding that Bebonang did in her post as I lost track of it in scrolling from post to post to pick up to quote here.

What I can't get over are those that think it is OK to hit someone because of a label! I can understand not liking what someone says and saying so (vocally or via ASL) but to hit someone over a descriptive label???
 
Wirelessly posted

Tousi said:
Lau2046 said:
On AllDeaf...not much and in real life you'll find the same is true. I often find within forums people in those closed off or tightly woven cultures tend to show their true colors by saying - or rather posting they think of you but would never dare to say in real life meeting. Whenever I mixed with deaf community, I felt like there was a barrier between me and them...and I don't mean a language barrier or deafness. I felt like they already decided who I was, and what I was about, and whether I was worthy of their time right from the first meeting. My response was to blow them off and direct my time and efforts to activies I enjoyed meeting people who were more open and accepting. I've met people from vastly different cultures: Cambodian, Russian, Korean, Chinese -that were far nicer and more interested in getting to know who I am as a person.

There's too much militancy among the deaf in social situations for me to feel comfortable. You meet them and they want to know how you label yourself, "Big D", "little D", "hearing impaired", "deaf".....it's never ending, you have to come with a label. You're not allowed to be you. They need to put everyone in a box and categorize them. Honestly when I go out at the end of the week, I want to unwind and have a nice time. I don't want to have to impress people every time to prove my worth as a person. I'm not saying everyone that's deaf acts this way, many are nice and laid back, but most aren't.
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So, most aren't, huh? News to me.....
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Yeah, that's news to me, too. Well, don't mind her. She likes to paint all of us for out of bitterness. So, pffttt!
 
Wirelessly posted

Well, i disagree about hitting someone. it's pretty rude, i believe.
 
KarissaMann05 said:
Wirelessly posted



Yeah, that's news to me, too. Well, don't mind her. She likes to paint all of us for out of bitterness. So, pffttt!
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Maybe you should consider that there is legitimate reason for the 'bitterness' as you see it. Bebonang's experiences echo many of our Deaf. I have been on AllDeaf long enough to notice that Bebonang finally feels she has 'voice' (for want of a better word). (Please correct if I am wrong Bebonang). So let her be.
 
Wirelessly posted

Im not talked about beboang. lau claims it's most Deaf people are not so friendly and nice. which is not true. she painted them off as terrible Deafies.
my pervious post-- i just disagree about smacking someone for ''wrong label''. i do understand what bebo explained, i agreed. no problem, but hitting someone? i think it's so wrong.
 
Oh I understand the whys of why she thinks as she does, I don't think there was a language problem going on. It was just the labeling part that struck me, which is why I bolder those parts. Those were the only parts I really wanted to draw attention to. I might have forgotten about Laura's post, but it had just been quoted, so I connected dots. I think you're right though, I don't think most deaf are this way. I wonder if a lot of it has to do with location and age.
 
KarissaMann05 said:
Wirelessly posted

Im not talked about beboang. lau claims it's most Deaf people are not so friendly and nice. which is not true. she painted them off as terrible Deafies.
my pervious post-- i just disagree about smacking someone for ''wrong label''. i do understand what bebo explained, i agreed. no problem, but hitting someone? i think it's so wrong.
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Thank you for clarifying KM. Take my post as a general comment then. Btw, Bebonang was quoting Sneakernet. I don't agree with hitting either. Although with older generations it was a common practice to get a 'biff across the ear' for being dishonest or the like, as a reprimand. I think she may see it more in that light being elder.
 
d/Deaf means that a person could not hear, not even on the phone. If SneakerNet was thinking that he does not wear his hearing aids, he thought he was deaf which was true but if he wore hearing aids, then he can not use the phone if he could not understand over the phone. But then again, he was responding to his cellphone and then walk up to the phone booth and made contact to his work. That indicate that he was hard of hearing, not deaf or Deaf. He could have said hard of hearing to the Deaf man. That is the problem of being the label of which one are you referring to. Don't say hearing impaired to clarify that. Choose one that make sense and honest to the Deaf man.

Maybe that is why there was always battle between the d/Deaf and hard of hearing.
 
If I see a deaf person using a voice phone, then I would know he's hard of hearing so no need to get pissed off.

It happened to me once. He was my co-worker and I thought he was deaf until I found out that he could talk on the phone so I asked if he's hard of hearing. He said yes. OK, fine by me and we moved on.

In the back of my mind, it's very silly for people to act that way. We can get along, can't we?
 
CrazyPaul said:
If I see a deaf person using a voice phone, then I would know he's hard of hearing so no need to get pissed off.

It happened to me once. He was my co-worker and I thought he was deaf until I found out that he could talk on the phone so I asked if he's hard of hearing. He said yes. OK, fine by me and we moved on.

In the back of my mind, it's very silly for people to act that way. We can get along, can't we?
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did you know some profoundly deaf can speak on the phone with HA or CI??
 
Does it really matter? Deaf, Hard of hearing, hearing? Labels labels everywhere, black white, straight , gay....get over yourselves. People are people...
 
JEPN1234 said:
Does it really matter? Deaf, Hard of hearing, hearing? Labels labels everywhere, black white, straight , gay....get over yourselves. People are people...
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Have we been introduced?
 
if Deaf you blunt and need get to the point hard of hearing can afford use more words..i see it from both sides born hearing then lost abruply 30yrs ago hearing person would waffel deaf no waffle it can come over as rude to hearing person but not to deaf...it took some time at deaf club but can see why but putting it badly
 
Bebonang said:
d/Deaf means that a person could not hear, not even on the phone. If SneakerNet was thinking that he does not wear his hearing aids, he thought he was deaf which was true but if he wore hearing aids, then he can not use the phone if he could not understand over the phone. But then again, he was responding to his cellphone and then walk up to the phone booth and made contact to his work. That indicate that he was hard of hearing, not deaf or Deaf. He could have said hard of hearing to the Deaf man. That is the problem of being the label of which one are you referring to. Don't say hearing impaired to clarify that. Choose one that make sense and honest to the Deaf man.

Maybe that is why there was always battle between the d/Deaf and hard of hearing.
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Right, the more I see it and just realized there's some issues with their level of acceptance or tolerance, in term of their belief.

As for example if someone came up to me and asked me if I'm deaf....
Me: uh..hold (me pulling out my hearing aids)... uhh..YES!!
Deaf person: (perplexed) Silence.....(signing "sick!")

ok..just kidding....

but with his behavior of hitting back of my head was unacceptable...I could've charged him as an assault... but with my realization of the kind of person he is..he's much older than me...I was probably around 27 or 28 but he's like around 40 to 50 years old. He should've approach me in a different way than slapping at the back of my head. I knew that he's a real heavy hard core "D" culture. Will he be friend with me?...I think not... even if I tell him the truth that I'm HOH, he will divide a line with me.

Not all of them are either like him, of course there are many deaf accepted each other regardless the level of hearing loss.
 
i having problems scrolling so not read about him hit you...you going to get arseholes in every situation a human in.. accept it move on..and nobody should hit your head that not how deaf person would approach you.
 
The level of acceptance, I believe, has a lot to do with the way you introduce yourself in the Deaf Community. In Australia, Hard of Hearing is signed 'hearing bad'. I introduce myself as 'born deaf, not full deaf, family hearing grow up oral, now change Deaf voice-off' That's pretty much my whole history in a nutshell. Terminology aids understanding.
 
Frisky Feline said:
did you know some profoundly deaf can speak on the phone with HA or CI??
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Are you talking about oralists? What about their hearing ability with HA/CI on? I believe what you were talking about is that they use CapTel or VRS/TTD with VCO. No?
 
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