Im Depressed

D

Doug5

Member
Joined
Dec 16, 2006
Messages
881
Reaction score
0
I dont have any friends to hang out with. :ugh:
 
I'll be your friend! I was just thinking yesterday that it really sucks that it's so hard to find and meet deaf people where I live. Befriend me.
 
DeafCaroline said:
I'll be your friend! I was just thinking yesterday that it really sucks that it's so hard to find and meet deaf people where I live. Befriend me.
Click to expand...

No kidding. I live in West Coast and I have about 20 deaf friends live in Montreal, do you want me to provide you their facebook group? :hmm:
 
Tousi said:
Do they use LSQ? :lol:
Click to expand...

and ASL. I met a lot of them through Gallaudet, and they are moving back to Montreal after graduating from Gallaudet. Nobody from Montreal will leave Montreal for good.
 
Yeah, everybody always moves back to Montreal, it's irresistible :)

Please do let me know about this facebook group! So far I met one deaf woman who is now my ASL teacher. I see her every other week for private lessons. I googled like crazy looking for social clubs or events for Anglo Deafs in Montreal and found nothing. Which is depressing for someone who is trying to find a way to meet other Deafs in her town. My french is poor and my LSQ skills non-existent.
 
DeafCaroline said:
Yeah, everybody always moves back to Montreal, it's irresistible :)

Please do let me know about this facebook group! So far I met one deaf woman who is now my ASL teacher. I see her every other week for private lessons. I googled like crazy looking for social clubs or events for Anglo Deafs in Montreal and found nothing. Which is depressing for someone who is trying to find a way to meet other Deafs in her town. My french is poor and my LSQ skills non-existent.
Click to expand...


Here what my friend provided me this info;


Type "Montreal Association of the Deaf" in Facebook

Email:montrealassociationdeaf@yahoo.ca
Location:3500 Decarie Boulevard, Montreal, QC

Ask them for any deaf coffee, deaf events, DPHH, DNO, etc. Good LUCK!
 
Yeah. Mackay Center...they are not very good at answering emails if it's not about signing up for their ASL lessons. I emailed to ask about social events, about private ASL lessons and also about the annual dinner every Christmas. They didn't answer which was disappointing. Planning to go there in person next week and see if there's someone who can provide some information.
 
DeafCaroline said:
Yeah. Mackay Center...they are not very good at answering emails if it's not about signing up for their ASL lessons. I emailed to ask about social events, about private ASL lessons and also about the annual dinner every Christmas. They didn't answer which was disappointing. Planning to go there in person next week and see if there's someone who can provide some information.
Click to expand...

Yeah, in a person is always the best.
 
I live in Phoenix. Im 39 y/o and feel like I am too old to make any friends.

I am hoh and was mainstreamed and experienced the social isolation that appears to be common, from what Ive read. I dont really identify with the deaf, dont know sign language. Dont feel like I relate to anyone really

Also, I think I have avoidant personality disorder.
 
DeafCaroline said:
Yeah. Mackay Center...they are not very good at answering emails if it's not about signing up for their ASL lessons. I emailed to ask about social events, about private ASL lessons and also about the annual dinner every Christmas. They didn't answer which was disappointing. Planning to go there in person next week and see if there's someone who can provide some information.
Click to expand...
Are you a late deafened? If you are, then this might help:

Association of Late-Deafened Adults
Welcome to ALDA!

Good luck!
 
Doug5 said:
I live in Phoenix. Im 39 y/o and feel like I am too old to make any friends.

I am hoh and was mainstreamed and experienced the social isolation that appears to be common, from what Ive read. I dont really identify with the deaf, dont know sign language. Dont feel like I relate to anyone really

Also, I think I have avoidant personality disorder.
Click to expand...
Too old to make friends? Don't be silly!

Anyway, sounds like the Hearing Loss Association of America might be a good organization for you. You can check to see if there's a chapter near you:

Hearing Loss Association of America

Let me know if you have any questions. Good Luck!
 
Doug5 said:
I live in Phoenix. Im 39 y/o and feel like I am too old to make any friends.

I am hoh and was mainstreamed and experienced the social isolation that appears to be common, from what Ive read. I dont really identify with the deaf, dont know sign language. Dont feel like I relate to anyone really

Also, I think I have avoidant personality disorder.
Click to expand...

Doug, what is it that you like to avoid? Do you use hearing aids, and do they work for you? If not, what do you use to communicate?

It's a common problem to feel somewhat friendless (regardless of hearing status), once out of college, if you don't live near people with common interests or take part in activities that automatically bring you together with other people. Sports, volunteer organizations, religious, civic and political groups, could all be sources of friends. One of the best ways to meet people is just to become a regular someplace. Could be your local coffee shop, or summer baseball games, or just about anything. Show up at the same time, same place on a regular basis, and chances are you will meet people doing the same thing.
 
Doug5 said:
I live in Phoenix. Im 39 y/o and feel like I am too old to make any friends.

I am hoh and was mainstreamed and experienced the social isolation that appears to be common, from what Ive read. I dont really identify with the deaf, dont know sign language. Dont feel like I relate to anyone really

Also, I think I have avoidant personality disorder.
Click to expand...

Self diagnosis is a dangerous thing. Best to leave that to the professionals. Besides, what difference does a diagnosis make? It certainly doesn't do anything to solve your problems.

Thirty nine is too old to make friends? Only if you don't plan on living past 39 1/2. It is never too late to change the path we find ourself on.

What are you doing to interact with people? You need to make the first step. People will not come to you if all you do is isolate yourself. You say you want contacts in the deaf community but don't know sign? Find a sign language class close to you and sign up. Automatic contact with people you will share something in common with, and a way to explore your own identity as deaf.
 
Beach girl said:
Doug, what is it that you like to avoid? Do you use hearing aids, and do they work for you? If not, what do you use to communicate?

It's a common problem to feel somewhat friendless (regardless of hearing status), once out of college, if you don't live near people with common interests or take part in activities that automatically bring you together with other people. Sports, volunteer organizations, religious, civic and political groups, could all be sources of friends. One of the best ways to meet people is just to become a regular someplace. Could be your local coffee shop, or summer baseball games, or just about anything. Show up at the same time, same place on a regular basis, and chances are you will meet people doing the same thing.
Click to expand...
He is talking about a psychiatric diagnosis that pervades his way of thinking, perceiving, and acting. Doesn't necessarily tie to avoiding a particular thing.
 
doug my son knows how you feel except he was born without ears and he has worn conductive aids since he was 3 months old. You are never to old to make friends in our house we use both sign and speech the greates gift God has given me was my son for now I have lived in 2 worlds. and there are days my son and I both feel alone but we get through it. You just have to get out there and do it start by telling people good morning and a smile you will be amazed about how good you will make people feel and before you know it you will be talking to the same people everyday
 
Wirelessly posted

Add me as a friend :)
 
Doug5 said:
I live in Phoenix. Im 39 y/o and feel like I am too old to make any friends.

I am hoh and was mainstreamed and experienced the social isolation that appears to be common, from what Ive read. I dont really identify with the deaf, dont know sign language. Dont feel like I relate to anyone really

Also, I think I have avoidant personality disorder.
Click to expand...

no you dont have it, its just manifested in your consciousness, you just need to um, harden up and at same time loosen a little, be kind to your and give other people chance to be nice to you.

i do know what you mean by 'too old to make freinds' as in observing the 'social' or 'social clock people so call live by" but thats not entirely true. my guess (that i do this to myself too) that we just sometimes wish we can make new freinds easily without having to compromise or explain ourselves or put up with who will be your freind but itsnt the right 'match' for interests in a range of areas...so i do kind of know where you coming from, but reducing all this into one particular 'sentence' as in 'self diagnose' is really not a safe way to think about how the world 'explains itself to you'.
its not like that, i mean i , myself nearly thought at one time that i had 'borderline personality dsorder' as i was really depressed and trying to find a reason to why, i mean like to try understand, but it was a 'false' substituation of sorts to 'comprehend the wallowing, awful despairing feelings like im a old dead leaf in the damp darkness under the mound of other autumn leaves, not getting any light to make the 'old skin tarnishing into the nice golden for reflection, but nope i was drowning in the soak of the wet weather....ohhh geez this is a crazy writing just now, but thats the sensation i had when i was almost convinced that i had some kind of personality disorder but clearly (now) i didn't , it was just that 'need' to give myself that 'excuse' to feel that way, like as almost as if its a comfortable numb feeling so i dont have to face the requirement of energy to make an effort for change or to 'fight'...
really Doug, you will soon get tired of the self-padding up in sorrow feelings you will soon realise its a waste of time (took me a good 2 years now) to actually say to myself 'its a waste of time' in a really really clear way like feelings and words MATCH....

right now you feelings and words dont match (not saying you are stupid im saying the bold clarity isnt there yet as proof, when it does, you'd know exactly what i mean.

so, i wont say , dont be silly, and all that, but i will say, you WILl get sick of getting nowhere and convince the only way is UP, its long, but its not like a 100M sprint up the stairs, its a climb over tree roots on the mountain side kind of climb, but that's good because it is character building it will make you mentally and emotionally STRONG, and with that your overall physical side will be relaxed and at ease, even fit.

All i will say right now, its learn to climb mentally thru doing ONE thing at a time, like i mean go to a appointment once a week, dont miss it, do it, make that as a 'i done it this week, it was good' somehow bullshit yourself into thinking that was a useful thing you did that day, or that week, and KEEP thinking THat way....in time you'd find yourself self training to get mentally fitter because you have slowly made yourself doing more positive thinking...
i think thats would be enough to say for now, and another thing, you're NOT ALONE, i felt and occassionaly feel it come back but it quick pisses off, as soon as I say , i gonna do this instead of thinking about this bullshit...and with that I always say "ive moved on' and well I truely have too!...


hope this helps...

Cheer up!
 
Back
Top