I resent my family

I'm sorry this had to happen to you, deafbajagal. Like you and everyone else in this thread, I can totally relate to you guys on this level.

There are times why my family wonder I don't come over and see them as often as I should. Go figure.

When I found out that my kids were deaf, I was happy (I'd be happy if my kids were hearing too) and needless to say, they were happy but at the same time, they were not too crazy about the news. I said, "I am not going to let my kids go through what I've went through with you guys missing out on the conversations, missing out being part of the family, and missing out on other things. I will make sure they are involved in every step whether it's for the holidays or a get-a-together event. I don't care if you like or hate me for that." That shook a storm for my mother and my sister. Now, they all are signing around me and the kids. They are including me and the kids in events, conversations, etc. My sister also is teaching my nieces sign language too. I don't expect it to change at any time soon but it is a start.
 
deafbajagal said:
That girl is lucky.
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Oh...she is sooo blessed. Do u have Facebook? Her mother wants to meet more Deaf people. Both parents are hearing but highly respect Deaf people and ASL .
 
Nope, I don't have Facebook (never got around to it)- but I'm more than happy to talk to them via VP if they have one. Feel free to give it to them. ;)
 
deafbajagal said:
Nope, I don't have Facebook (never got around to it)- but I'm more than happy to talk to them via VP if they have one. Feel free to give it to them. ;)
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I dont think they have VP..I can ask them if they want to apply for one. They want to improve their ASL skills cuz their daughter's ASL is starting to surpass theirs cuz their daughter has been with my deaf babysitter. Their daughter scored on the 4.5 level for language development and she is only 2 years old!!! Dang!
 
shel90 said:
I dont think they have VP..I can ask them if they want to apply for one. They want to improve their ASL skills cuz their daughter's ASL is starting to surpass theirs cuz their daughter has been with my deaf babysitter. Their daughter scored on the 4.5 level for language development and she is only 2 years old!!! Dang!
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I'm curious - what language assessment was used? Kendall? TERA-DHH? (Sorry - this teacher couldn't resist but ask...)
 
deafbajagal said:
I'm curious - what language assessment was used? Kendall? TERA-DHH? (Sorry - this teacher couldn't resist but ask...)
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It was used by the Anne Arundel county public schools sppech teacher who is also my son's speech teacher. I will ask her the next time my son has a speech session. Good question...however, as a teacher myself, based on my observations, I would say that assessment got it right. This little girl tells me stuff like "See u next week, Monday." in ASL on Fridays...how many 2 year olds can say that!!!???
 
"Spending all of my spare time learning my daughter's natural language"

That quote is very insightful and marvellous, I can see that the mother is highly respectful, and am suprised on how smart that 2 year old can achieve well in ASL :)
 
shel90 said:
It was used by the Anne Arundel county public schools sppech teacher who is also my son's speech teacher. I will ask her the next time my son has a speech session. Good question...however, as a teacher myself, based on my observations, I would say that assessment got it right. This little girl tells me stuff like "See u next week, Monday." in ASL on Fridays...how many 2 year olds can say that!!!???
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A two-year old using a complete sentence. OMG. Oh, I wish I could be her teacher. Wouldn't that kid be an amazing student to work with! She'd outsmart me by the time she's five, LOL.
 
Deafbajagal, I am in the same boat as you. I missed my grandparents' funerals. I lived out of state at that time but I do know of friends who got called home for relative's funeral even if that friend is living out of state.

I want to move out of state because I knew my family would never learn ASL or sign language. I am so sick of hearing my sister saying that family should come first because to me, it sounds like that the family does come first except when it comes to me.

I am tired of being left out of family news. Is that why I got into genealogy so I would have something that they don't know???
 
i come from a broken home. one half of my family is bat-shit insane and the other half is just a pile of family secrets and repressed emotions.

therefore, i understand, like some of you, that families can be like a bad meal at an expensive restaurant. they're always supposed to be good, but sometimes they're raw, or burnt, and need to be sent back to the kitchen.
 
:eek2: This makes me feel lucky that my family learned sign. My mom became an interpreter and my dad knows some and my sister a lot. My extended family knows varying amounts. I am sorry about those whose families don't want to communicate with one of their own, making them feel like they're not part of the family. :(

I wonder if they tend to think that everybody can hear as well as they can or that deaf people merely have to try harder. I have like 100dB of loss that I didn't really lose because I never had it, so I get none of spoken words. Thinking that I just need to listen harder is as silly as thinking that you could multiply a number by zero and expect to get that particular number back by dividing by zero.

I hope that they're just forgetting, because another possibility that could be true for some people could be that they see deaf people as second class people or less.

I would sign a little at family parties with those who knew sign and sometimes read and play games. Now I have keyboards with screens so I can type with them. I used it at last year's Christmas party and had a good time talking with people, including those I've never talked with before. I'm also lucky that I got a good education so that I'm good with English. That way, typing would work for me.

My father learned how to use Aim this year and likes to talk with me each night.

It's strange how that father who knows 4 languages other than English would not learn ASL to talk with his own kid. It's a rich 3d language, so I thought someone who is interested in languages would be interested in signing.
 
I think any parents who have a deaf child and is even thinking about forcing oral or not learning sign, should read this thread, several times, and think really hard. How can communication with your kid be of such little importance that you wouldn't do everything you can to make sure it happens?
 
kipourgos said:
I think any parents who have a deaf child and is even thinking about forcing oral or not learning sign, should read this thread, several times, and think really hard. How can communication with your kid be of such little importance that you wouldn't do everything you can to make sure it happens?
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:gpost:
 
kipourgos said:
I think any parents who have a deaf child and is even thinking about forcing oral or not learning sign, should read this thread, several times, and think really hard. How can communication with your kid be of such little importance that you wouldn't do everything you can to make sure it happens?
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Most of parents of deaf children who come to AD usually go and stay in the CI threads. Wish they would get out of there and read threads like these..
 
shel90 said:
Most of parents of deaf children who come to AD usually go and stay in the CI threads. Wish they would get out of there and read threads like these..
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why dont we post a link in those threads and have them come here and read it.. :)
 
Secretblend said:
why dont we post a link in those threads and have them come here and read it.. :)
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Yea, we should. In the past we have tried with a few of them but they always say that their kids are different than us cuz they have CIs and that they will never experience this. Ok whatever..:roll:
 
shel90 said:
Yea, we should. In the past we have tried with a few of them but they always say that their kids are different than us cuz they have CIs and that they will never experience this. Ok whatever..:roll:
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Sad! They just are trying to justify the fact that putting their kids under the knife was a perfect thing to do.. and knowing what adults now have to say about their past and experiences would make it harder to justify it. It's easier to not read and deal with it. Ignorance is bliss alright.
 
So what do I do??

I am the hearing mother of a Deaf daughter. My husband and I know ASL, and use it with her. She goes to a bi-bi school and we attend a Deaf church. But the rest of the family only believes they need to sign when speaking to her. I hate leaving her out of everything. She is 5 and should be a part of the conversation. Most of the family uses a little bit of sign, but not enough for real converations

HELP!
 
deafbajagal, rest assured that there are awful many deaf kids and adults being left out of the family gatherings or something like that. So you aren't alone like that for sure.

I did have the same problem, too so I know how it was like. That is just too common around. It sucks!

Just try to not allow it to get you too much despair... no use for it.

I found that it's much easier by living far away from them and socialize with deaf friends and few others. Sometime I find it ironically that the tech even doesn't help much to make up for that, you know.

Hope that you and others find your solution somehow.
 
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