"I just want you to be happy"

ambrosia said:
yes
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That is interesting Ambrosia, really :). They are questions I have thought about through my own break ups as well as, now, my kids. Can you explain how it would make a difference to you? Do you think it would change the outcome or make you reflect more on actions of yours or his or ...?
 
Journey said:
That is interesting Ambrosia, really :). They are questions I have thought about through my own break ups as well as, now, my kids. Can you explain how it would make a difference to you? Do you think it would change the outcome or make you reflect more on actions of yours or his or ...?
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I wouldn't lay awake at night trying to figure it out....I'd know. I'm not saying it would make it better, hurt less, but I wouldn't be wondering if it was something that we could have worked on, could still work on.

I even straight up asked him, is it because you don't love me (even though he looked me in the eyes and told me he did) you can't see yourself ever loving me. He wouldn't answer. Every time I tried to ask him a direct question he'd deflect it with lame lines. That is truly frustrating. You're trying to have an honest conversation about your feelings with someone and the other person if you giving fluff.....which btw just leaves more questions. I don't like questions...I like to know stuff.

Plus it cheapens everything you had with the person. You don't give someone you truly care about and had a sincere relationship with fluff reasons for discontinuing it. You're son actually gave his ex a reason......because she wasn't someone he thought he could spend the rest of his life with. See I couldn't even get that much out of him.
 
Ok, I hear you and, being a pretty direct person myself, I understand what you are saying. So you think he is hiding/avoiding sharing his real thoughts or feelings not just unable to answer you because he really doesn't know the answer himself?
 
I have no idea really. Because we have a fairly complicated history I honestly don't know.
 
Ok ... either way, I hope you find some answers or resolution when all is said (or not said) and done.

And, if you don't and it's still frustrating you, go smack him with a dictionary and tell him to start using some words! haha
 
Maybe some men think women "can't handle the truth" because they're not able to handle it.
 
Sometimes people have a hard time being truthful in a stressful situation. Breaking up is always stressful but yea, it can be confusing when someone says several positive things about you but yet no longer want to be with you. People are complicated.
 
Sounds like he was either spooked, a player, or "want other interests, have a nice life" perception. I'm assuming here since you didn't mention what circumstances led to what he said. That's where to look for your answer, but trying to salvage what you thought you had is just going to make things worse. Tonight change your focus on other opportunities, he deserves a
nutkick[1].gif
for that comment.
 
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oh, dont reach out for the voddy, right now is NOT the time, if you got drunk you might do something you regret... but if you're strong enough have a nice bloody mary, and have it at one glass of it, sit back watch "Rise of the Guardian" on video (family film but its a real sweet one)
 
ambrosia said:
I have no idea really. Because we have a fairly complicated history I honestly don't know.
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from this, i got a wee suspicion that he been playing around for a quite some time..and wants out...

twice, "complicated" is used just now, to me (might be dead wrong) but its just another word for 'vague, not trustworthy, possibly been sneaking around', complicated like, vague weird answers for 'lateness' or disinterest in weird times...
just sayn, but i might be wrong, again im pretty naive in this, im learning second-hand from this reading so take me with grain of salt...
 
This is one of the lamest excuse... When this happen, I usually ask:

Why you want to break up (or stop seeing, or....) with me? Now, before you answer it, there's a rule, I only want answers begin with "I" and the word "You" are not allowed. Now why?

That will make this person to express his/her own reasoning.
 
SneakerNet said:
This is one of the lamest excuse... When this happen, I usually ask:

Why you want to break up (or stop seeing, or....) with me? Now, before you answer it, there's a rule, I only want answers begin with "I" and the word "You" are not allowed. Now why?

That will make this person to express his/her own reasoning.
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That is friggin brilliant!!
 
SneakerNet said:
This is one of the lamest excuse... When this happen, I usually ask:

Why you want to break up (or stop seeing, or....) with me? Now, before you answer it, there's a rule, I only want answers begin with "I" and the word "You" are not allowed. Now why?

That will make this person to express his/her own reasoning.
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im printing that out
very good advice
 
From my own experience, sometimes it was never meant to be. It takes two to make it work. If neither don't have bonding feelings for each other then it will surely fall out sooner or later. Once it falls apart why trying chasing down something that won't work out?

I admit, I wish I know why one of these relationship fell apart. She gave me iron clad silent treatment on me and I really don't know why she got pissed off big time. Its always been mystery but glad I don't have to deal with woman like her anymore.

If he can't answer your direct question, really to me he has no fireworks in you and he don't think it is worth his and your time to try work out and you'd be off happier if done deal NOW than later. That is how I see it.
 
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