I can't take it anymore

[Bottesini]

Yes, you're right. You can also refer to it in %, a term the hearing world understands better. Decibels, not so much, speaking from my experience when talking to people who hear. I forget I'm talking to people that understand when I'm in here.

You really can't refer to it as a percentage and have it actually mean anything.

Do a little research on what "percentage" of the ability to hear means with something like an 80 db loss.

They don't correlate at all.

And here talking to deaf people, who cares what the hearing world understands or doesn't?

I really get annoyed by people who try to go the "deafer than thou" route, especially when they have no idea what they are talking about.

 

[jollyrj]

Wow Bottesini. Rather judgemental towards another deaf person, someone in the same boat as yourself. Thanks for the support! I'm not sure how what I said resonated "deafer than thou" as don't think in those terms.

I didn't get the memo either about what is ok and not ok to say in this public forum but I certainly don't want to offend anyone by using unpopular and unnaceptable termonology.

Got to say though, I do care about all people. People are people, deaf, hearing, blind, seeing, etc. I'm deaf and love talking to other deaf people that can truly understand. Doesn't mean I stop caring about other human beings because they aren't deaf. That sounds discrimitory to me.

 

[jollyrj]

There's not such a thing as a "route" to deaf culture. You're either immersed into it by upbringing or involvement with late deafened by way of ASL, deaf friendships, etc.

If you see it as a route, or an all-or-nothing, you can either immerse yourself (why are you here otherwise?) or not involve yourself with the deaf community. Sounds as if you are negative on the idea of being friends with other deaf who sign and have their own culture. It's been discussed to death here on this board. You could read up on it.

Actually, and honestly, i'm very excited to be talking and involved with other deaf people. That's why on this forum. Its my culture too.

I'm super confused though why there are so many rules? Coming from you? I'm not sure why I'm being told I cant have my own opinions here? I use "route" and get put down for it. Can't we just appreciate other view points or are we all supposed to think exactly alike? I'm deaf too but I can't think differently than you? I don't know why you are judging me. Are we not here to be supportive? I feel as if you are saying I just need to nod and agree. Yikes. I hope its just that I'm misreading what you're saying.

 

[jollyrj]

Honestly, this is all a little unsettling. Instead of being able to share my experiences with other deaf people, I'm getting put down, told I'm saying things wrong, and made to feel on the defensive instead.

I'm not feeling real welcome here which is really sad being we are all dealing with the same disability.

If I'm causing problems by sharing, I'll just view posts and stop participating. Peace.

 

[hoichi]

Actually, and honestly, i'm very excited to be talking and involved with other deaf people. That's why on this forum. Its my culture too.

I'm super confused though why there are so many rules? Coming from you? I'm not sure why I'm being told I cant have my own opinions here? I use "route" and get put down for it. Can't we just appreciate other view points or are we all supposed to think exactly alike? I'm deaf too but I can't think differently than you? I don't know why you are judging me. Are we not here to be supportive? I feel as if you are saying I just need to nod and agree. Yikes. I hope its just that I'm misreading what you're saying.

I dont know whats up with you. No onE has put you down. No one has said you cant have your opinion, buy when.we hols opinions and discuss them with others, our opinions what ever they are csn.be discussed. That means challanged. thwt means being able to think about why we hold certain opinions, what ever they are, wnd we mwy even.be able through ir re evalute oir opinions...no one hws attacked you...

 

[hoichi]

Honestly, this is all a little unsettling. Instead of being able to share my experiences with other deaf people, I'm getting put down, told I'm saying things wrong, and made to feel on the defensive instead.

I'm not feeling real welcome here which is really sad being we are all dealing with the same disability.

If I'm causing problems by sharing, I'll just view posts and stop participating. Peace.

Your causing no plms by sharing. its a discussion forum...discuss...no one hws pit yoi down, your welcome here...just mwybe get some thick skin, really Deaf culture are more upfront, more.to the point....groow some skin...

 

[jollyrj]

Your causing no plms by sharing. its a discussion forum...discuss...no one hws pit yoi down, your welcome here...just mwybe get some thick skin, really Deaf culture are more upfront, more.to the point....groow some skin...

And maybe you're right. I'll do that.

 

[shel90]

You got me! Do what you feel right to share with your experience. I feel pretty much normal all my life even though I was born Deaf and born in the RIGHT year where the large number of Deaf people are. Obviously, almost like I have never been alone so i do socialize with many people who knows ASL (or PSE OR SEE) all my life. i used to have a best friend when I was 3 yrs old. She left for hearing school and was introduced to speaking only. Until I was 7. My mom asked me about her and I remember her that her moms worried that her girl had no friend. She wanted a play date for her and me. I didnt wsnt to because I knew she speaks only. We met again. All she talks about how important the sounds were. That's her best interests in sounds. I wasn't. Hey I do wear my hearing aids anyway. She knows nothing about ASL. We tried to communicate in many ways. So I told my mom that I didn't want a play date with her again. It's a waste of my time. My mom knew but felt bad for her. Until we become teens. Her mom wanted a play date again. So we met. Of course she knows no ASL and talked about the musics. After that I'm done with her until we were in college. She went to Lowell universuty and I went to gallaude so we met again by her mom asked. She finally asked me about what does the deaf life like. We chatted through signs and body languages or mouth moves. It was an interesting conversation that she asked about the Deaf culture. I moved out of this hometown. I heard she got involved with Deaf people more and more. She found me on facebook. I tried to talk to her through the private message and did not reply back. I'm not giving up on her yet. I d love to meet her in person one day. I found it strange that she did not reply much on Facebook when I asked either in public or private. From what I know she speaks but I don't know if she speaks good or ok? The point Is that for me. I'm not upset if I don't understand the sounds. I'm cool with it.

It is funny..all of my life I felt abnormal because I was in a hearing world without a visual language. Once a visual language was introduced to me and a whole new world opened up to me about 20 years ago, I have felt normal since then. So happy that we don't deal with what late deafened people deal with. Cant be easy, it seems.

 

[shel90]

Lots of people aren't completely satisfied with the quality of sound they get from their hearing aids. However, for most of them, just throwing away their hearing aids and going with ASL instead isn't a realistic or good option. Most hoh people don't even wear hearing aids, and many people who do get hearing aids wait until they can't do without them before getting them. Whether hoh people wear hearing aids or not, most of them decide to remain in the hearing world and muddle through as best they can, because that's the only world they know and that they're comfortable in.

For most hoh people, even communicating with difficulty via their limited hearing and their voice is still going to be easier for them than having to learn a new language (ASL) that most of their coworkers/friends/family may not know, so in most situations ASL won't be of much benefit to them. Most hoh people, even if they are having trouble hearing (either because their hearing aids aren't strong enough or because they don't wear hearing aids at all), aren't going to want to change their way of life/communicating completely unless they absolutely have no other choice.

For Deaf people, ASL is great for communicating with other Deaf people, but ASL is often not practical at all for most hoh people who typically need to be able to communicate with the other 99%+ of the population.

FrustratedOne isn't deaf. She's hoh and wears hearing aids. As far as being able to understand her struggles, I think other people like her who are hoh and wear hearing aids are in a better position to understand what she's going thru than a deaf/Deaf person is.

FrustratedOne, I hope you are able to find a hearing aid that you're happy with Unfortunately no hearing aid is going to give you perfect "normal" hearing.

HOH people can learn and benefit from ASL. Both of my hearing kids do. What's the problem?

 

[shel90]

hoichi, even if cochlear implants were being given away for free and didn't involve any surgery, I get the feeling you'd still be trying to convince late-deafened people that they shouldn't get them and that they should switch to ASL instead.

The bottom line seems to be that you as a Deaf person feel threatened by the demand for cochlear implants because they mean fewer people are learning ASL and becoming part of Deaf culture. I understand that, however, there's just no way that you or any Deaf person is going to be able to convince me that my learning ASL so that I can talk to the roughly 1% of people in the U.S. who can communicate with it would be a better solution for me (if I lose all my hearing) than getting a cochlear implant that will help me continue to communicate with the other 99% as I have been all my life.

I've never spoken to any representatives of any of the manufacturers of cochlear implants, so no one has "coerced" me into having that opinion. My opinion comes from living almost 50 years as a hoh person who communicates via speech and listening. I know that that's the form of communication I would want to keep above all others, if at all possible.

I don't want to have to depend on interpreters when I go to dr. appointments or to the store and have questions. I don't want to give up listening to music and all the other sounds I enjoy. I don't want to have to teach my friends and family ASL. I'm happy communicating the way I do now and living my life as I do now, so I have no reason to want to change any of that.

Look, I'm sorry that you're afraid of losing your culture, but your fears are not going to have any influence over any decision I make about how I'm going to communicate with people in the future. Deaf culture won't ever be my culture, and it's not up to me to save it. You might as well be suggesting to me that I learn Japanese. I could learn it and start teaching all my friends and family Japanese in order to talk with them, but why would I??? It makes no sense to do that when I and everyone else I know already share English as a common language, that's why! That's how I feel about ASL.

Deaf, deaf, and hoh people share some common experiences and problems, but in other ways we're all very different. Maybe you should respect those differences more instead of trying to "convert" hoh and deaf people to be Deaf. It's rude.

Deaf culture is important to me but since you say that it will never be your culture and that you don't care for it, it would mean that you and I have nothing in common.

 

[shel90]

I'm with "choice". You choose to do it or you choose not to. Yes, someone will make money... but then, it's your choice to give it to them based on what value you get in return.

Gotta be honest with you Hoichi... I never got the whole "deaf culture" thing. I was born where they were ignorant to the fact I was deaf and thought I was slow. Once they figured it out, guess what? I kicked butt. Then they tried to put me in special groups for the hearing impaired, special classes. It was AWFUL to me. Super depressing. The other kids in this group who were in it since they were born, were coddled and too sheltered. Treated as if they were mentally handicapped. We were separated from the rest of the hearing world. Isolated. Ugh, I got out of that ASAP. What was sad is that they were so isolated, they probably never got to succeed beyond what they were told they could.

I did voc rehab and it did help me out but then I learned too that I could help myself out with hard work. So, yes, I went to a hearing college, got my degree, all on my own coin. Was it hard work? Heck yeah. But, communicating my lack thereof, always helped.

I don't know, just feel like going too much the route of deaf culture can be a negative but that's just me and my experience. No offense to anyone who had a GOOD experience from such.

My brother went to a Deaf school and was in the Deaf world and got his Master's from a hearing college. So?

 

[jollyrj]

My brother went to a Deaf school and was in the Deaf world and got his Master's from a hearing college. So?

I think that's great!

I'm just speaking in terms of my own experience and what I went through. It's all good.

 

[shel90]

I think that's great!

I'm just speaking in terms of my own experience and what I went through. It's all good.

Ok glad you aren't one of those people who think people from the Deaf community are unable to attend hearing colleges and do well.

Thanks for clarifying because I have had bad experiences with people like that here on AD.

Congrats on your hard work and I can relate to what you have been through. I was raised with the oral only method and mainstreamed and experienced the same things you did. It was horrible. Nothing I can do about it now but enjoy my life now and take a stand for deaf people, ASL, and Deaf culture if people put them down.

 

[jollyrj]

Ok glad you aren't one of those people who think people from the Deaf community are unable to attend hearing colleges and do well.

Thanks for clarifying because I have had bad experiences with people like that here on AD.

Congrats on your hard work and I can relate to what you have been through. I was raised with the oral only method and mainstreamed and experienced the same things you did. It was horrible. Nothing I can do about it now but enjoy my life now and take a stand for deaf people, ASL, and Deaf culture if people put them down.

Thank you!! I'm really interested in getting to know more people that go through what I do. That's why I'm here, to talk to people who really relate and understand. Its awesome and makes me feel not so alone., which I feel a lot being in the hearing world as I am.

 

[shel90]

Thank you!! I'm really interested in getting to know more people that go through what I do. That's why I'm here, to talk to people who really relate and understand. Its awesome and makes me feel not so alone., which I feel a lot being in the hearing world as I am.

I got involved with the Deaf community 20 years ago when I took ASL classes and since then, I don't feel lonely anymore.

I was out of the hearing world for 15 years until last Fall when I took a job working in the hearing world and I was dismayed to find that nothing has changed with hearing people's ignorance on deafness and deaf people's needs. Only difference is that I have the Deaf community to go to for socializing and etc. The hearing world is just for work purposes only and I am keeping it that way.

 

[jollyrj]

I got involved with the Deaf community 20 years ago when I took ASL classes and since then, I don't feel lonely anymore.

I was out of the hearing world for 15 years until last Fall when I took a job working in the hearing world and I was dismayed to find that nothing has changed with hearing people's ignorance on deafness and deaf people's needs. Only difference is that I have the Deaf community to go to for socializing and etc. The hearing world is just for work purposes only and I am keeping it that way.

For me in my experience, I mostly only know the hearing world. I have been very lucky with the support system I have had. Work paid for my hearing aides, friends that do the best they can, etc.

I'm sorry that your experience hasn't been so good. Ignorance is frustrating and so not productive. Its nice that you have a great network in the Deaf community.

 

[TrippyMoods22]

I, as well am HoH and wear hearing aids. I understand FrustratedOne's struggles. I simply do not want the hassle of trying to make sense of what's going on in my auditory environment. I have progressive hearing loss, anyway; so i'm better off making this choice of my own volition, before i lose the luxury of it being a choice. So, for me, this is the best option.

FrustratedOne, i wish you the best of luck! May the Force be with you :P

 

[drphil]

Re post #75- unexplained how ASL is "technology"?
RE: hoichi="assertion"

aside: never has anyone so articulated-to date.

Technology: Oxford dictionary: noun- 1) the scientific study of mechanical arts and applied sciences(engineering) 2) these subjects. their practical application in industry etc.
page 841.

 

[Jane B.]

HOH people can learn and benefit from ASL. Both of my hearing kids do. What's the problem?

Some of us are in an area where it is downright RARE. It has been literally years since I have seen anyone using ASL. But you are in an area where the use of ASL seems to be fairly common.

 

[hoichi]

Re post #75- unexplained how ASL is "technology"?
RE: hoichi="assertion"

aside: never has anyone so articulated-to date.

and i asked you a pointed question regarding your sencerity. Is this a sencere question? You really do no not know, and are actually open to learing? Or is this the kind of question bigots ask regarding those they deem inferior being really equel?. Like when a racist asks if blacks are really human. So on. If your sencere we can have a great discussion on ASL,how it can be viewed as a technology perfectly suited to address by design the needs of the Deaf. Since i know your posts, i doubt your sencerity.