Cloggy,
I understand your situation. You have to weigh two things: putting a machine in your child's head versus allowing your child to remain deaf.
From the perspective that the hearing world is more beneficial (in any way) than the deaf world, someone would choose the CI.
If not, then ask yourself, why even consider a CI in the first place?
However, go a step further and think about the pros and cons.
Consider your child in the future - perhaps fulfilling more potential in the hearing world, but potentially disturbed that he/she has a machine in his/her head.
What if your child wants to be a scuba diver (below 100 meters) or an astronaut? What about possibilities that cannot be fulfilled now because of the CI?
What if your child eventually feels like others modified his/her body in a way that is irreversible except through intensive surgery?
A greater love might be to consider the child's feelings rather than yours. Is it you, rather, that is afraid that the child won't be able to accomplish as much in the deaf world versus the hearing world?
Are you afraid that your child's intelligence will be lower as a consequence of being deaf? Look at me, I have been 100% deaf since 2 years old, but I score higher on standardized tests than 99.99% of the nation.
Intelligence can be relative to how the child is raised, methods of being taught, and the creativity and intelligence of the parents themselves.
I was given a CI on the left side when I was 3 years old, and a CI on the right side when I was 16 years old. Most of it was my parent's decision rather than mine, yet it was my own body.
I was never able to distinguish consonants and vowels apart from each other. Yet my parents did it "out of love" in their own best interests, thinking it would also be in my own best interest.
But I enjoy being deaf. There is nothing wrong with it. If my CI allowed me to distinguish between consonants and vowels, maybe I would've seen the benefits, and enjoyed life more, but in the end it would've limited me in other ways and still been an imposing of their will on my body that may as well be irreversible.
The benefits of hearing may be numerous, but is it worth a child being used in a way that is irreversible?
You'll hear many deaf children being very happy with their CI - but you also have to think about the child's feelings about having a CI in the body, whether it's had positive or negative results.
I can tell you that I wish my parents had never forced a CI into my body, and let me make the decision at a later age despite what the doctors say that putting in a CI is more likely to be successful at a young age.
Because then it would've been my own decision, not theirs. It would've been my own decision about my own body.
Listen to what a deaf child (your child) may have to say, more than what the parent (you) think. Respect how the child may feel and let the child find acceptance through being deaf; if the child wishes to have a CI later, let the child do it at an age when he/she is capable of making an educated decision.
This is my point of view, as well as that of many deaf children and adults out there. Which would be the greater love: to listen to them or to listen to yourself?
I think you need to find a way of forgiving them rather than cutting them off.
!!! That was an awesome post!!!