I am mad that I have CI *sigh*

Please remember that any surgury has risks. Whenever evaluating risk you have to ask yourself, what is the benefit? If the benefit outweighs the risk then you may want to consider going through with it. One risk of surgury as that you may not wake up, or the entire side of your head may remain numb for the rest of your life. I am sure there are many other risks that your doctor should go over with you. Is the benifit of not having something in your body worth those risks? Even your doctor will tell you this. I have been in accidents where they have mechanically wired and screwed me back togehter. My bones have fused and I really don't need the metal in me anymore but I am not going to have it removed becuase the risk doesn't outweigh the benefit. To me there is no benefit. I don't feel any less pure because I have forigen objects in several parts of my body.

The CI didn't work for my son and I would think it's a terrible waste to have your CI removed if you have had any benefit from it. I think that it's good for you to have a thread like this that shows a different perspective. I too am curious if you ever had any benefit from the CI? Or are you so upset with your parents for having you implanted that you never even gave it a chance?
 
rockdrummer said:
Please remember that any surgury has risks. Whenever evaluating risk you have to ask yourself, what is the benefit? If the benefit outweighs the risk then you may want to consider going through with it. One risk of surgury as that you may not wake up, or the entire side of your head may remain numb for the rest of your life. I am sure there are many other risks that your doctor should go over with you. Is the benifit of not having something in your body worth those risks? Even your doctor will tell you this. I have been in accidents where they have mechanically wired and screwed me back togehter. My bones have fused and I really don't need the metal in me anymore but I am not going to have it removed becuase the risk doesn't outweigh the benefit. To me there is no benefit. I don't feel any less pure because I have forigen objects in several parts of my body.

The CI didn't work for my son and I would think it's a terrible waste to have your CI removed if you have had any benefit from it. I think that it's good for you to have a thread like this that shows a different perspective. I too am curious if you ever had any benefit from the CI? Or are you so upset with your parents for having you implanted that you never even gave it a chance?
Click to expand...


U have a good point about evaluating the risks the surgery may involve but the problem is that Animallover was too young to make those decisions. He couldnt determine whether the risks outweigh the benefits or not. That is the big difference and I think that is why Animallover is upset about that. If I am wrong, then I am sure Animalover will let me know.
 
Spock said:
If my CI allowed me to distinguish between consonants and vowels, maybe I would've seen the benefits, and enjoyed life more, but in the end it would've limited me in other ways and still been an imposing of their will on my body that may as well be irreversible.

The benefits of hearing may be numerous, but is it worth a child being used in a way that is irreversible?

You'll hear many deaf children being very happy with their CI - but you also have to think about the child's feelings about having a CI in the body, whether it's had positive or negative results.
Click to expand...

I think these are the interesting parts of your post to me. You are speaking with the perspective of someone that has "failed" with the CI and that failure then lead to feelings that you have a "machine" that was forced into your body against your will. That's natural to feel that way. We do all tend to feel negative about any process that hasn't worked for us. I know I do!

However it's impossible for parents of children to know in advance what the outcome of a potential CI and how their children are going to feel. There is someone like you with the thoughts that you have outlined above and then there are those who are really happy with themselves as deaf people with CIs and who do not feel limited. Most CI implantations on young children according to studies are at least reasonably successful and lead to good emotional wellbeing and confidence.

I think that all parents can do is to read stories like yours as well as the success stories so that they can prepare themselves for when and *if* their child does experience those feelings and use the help of therapy and counselling to help them come to terms. I underline "if" because not all of us feel like we have a "machine" in our heads - I don't even think about it to be honest. And I still feel that I am deaf too. Deafness is not an either/or thing for me. And I don't feel limited by my CI at all. I can throw myself into deaf culture if I want to and into the hearing world if I want to at different times.

We are all different and come to different feelings and conclusions. If I were to have a profoundly deaf baby one day that could not benefit at all from hearing aids I will make no assumptions. I will simply provide the tools and then let that child self determine with those tools when they are of age.
 
SteveESP52 said:
Animal Lover -

Sorry you did not benefit from the CI and sounds like you have been struggled with it for quite some time before shelving it. I'm asking the question since it sounds like you live with no sound 24/7. I don't know much history on you and if you are deaf or have a profound hearing loss. Kind of new here. Sorry.

I do have a real question for you though. You mention you don't wear the processor but do you ever pick up sound from the implant. Also, do you experience any ringing/tinnitus from the implanted side? Just curious. Specifically on the implanted side, do you hear any noise or buzz when you are around radio or TV towers. I am asking this question for real.

I live about 1000 feet from a radio/TV/Cell phone tower and at night with the processor off and I hear nothing, I pick up a buzz from the implant. It is quieter than the tinnitus I have in my other ear so it is not very loud but I do hear it. For others reading this, it is some what similar when the Telecoil is activated and walking under high power electrical transmission lines. 60 hertz is what I'm hearing. Do you experience the same or anything similar?

Just wondering here.
Click to expand...

well sometime i did hear buzz thing when i dont wear CI implant thing..no i am not near raido or whatever..
it happen when i shake my head so hard or so.. i dont want that because i want 100% no noise or sound or whatver..i want nature way..
and yes I hear NOTHING when I dont wear CI implant expect the buzz thing inside my head..I want to be 100% fully deaf again before my parents forced me when i was 4..
 
shel90 said:
U have a good point about evaluating the risks the surgery may involve but the problem is that Animallover was too young to make those decisions. He couldnt determine whether the risks outweigh the benefits or not. That is the big difference and I think that is why Animallover is upset about that. If I am wrong, then I am sure Animalover will let me know.
Click to expand...
Shel... I think you may have missed my point. I am not talking about the risk of putting the implant in... I am talking about the risk of going through a surgury to have it removed. Sorry if I was not clear.
 
rockdrummer said:
Shel... I think you may have missed my point. I am not talking about the risk of putting the implant in... I am talking about the risk of going through a surgury to have it removed. Sorry if I was not clear.
Click to expand...

OHH! Ok Got it! Thanks! :)
 
Cloggy said:
In my opinion,

Your parents gave you a gift and opportunities....
It didn't work out for you, so it's up to you to stop using it.

But I would not hold it against your parents that you have CI. They took a difficult decision and they did it out of love for you. Understand their side that they want you to keep using it.

BTW, do you use sign? Do your parents use sign?

You said "...... but ill get it off when i am done with my college..." does that mean that you are still wearing / using CI? Or do you mean that you will take it out??
Click to expand...

Yes i sign but no my parents dont sign
No I won't wear CI when i am in college..yes i am taking the metal thing inside my head out when i am done college..yes it will be stuck in my head for couple years and no i wont hear things expect buzzing noise inside my head
 
Spock said:
Cloggy,

I understand your situation. You have to weigh two things: putting a machine in your child's head versus allowing your child to remain deaf.

From the perspective that the hearing world is more beneficial (in any way) than the deaf world, someone would choose the CI.

If not, then ask yourself, why even consider a CI in the first place?

However, go a step further and think about the pros and cons.

Consider your child in the future - perhaps fulfilling more potential in the hearing world, but potentially disturbed that he/she has a machine in his/her head.

What if your child wants to be a scuba diver (below 100 meters) or an astronaut? What about possibilities that cannot be fulfilled now because of the CI?

What if your child eventually feels like others modified his/her body in a way that is irreversible except through intensive surgery?

A greater love might be to consider the child's feelings rather than yours. Is it you, rather, that is afraid that the child won't be able to accomplish as much in the deaf world versus the hearing world?

Are you afraid that your child's intelligence will be lower as a consequence of being deaf? Look at me, I have been 100% deaf since 2 years old, but I score higher on standardized tests than 99.99% of the nation.

Intelligence can be relative to how the child is raised, methods of being taught, and the creativity and intelligence of the parents themselves.

I was given a CI on the left side when I was 3 years old, and a CI on the right side when I was 16 years old. Most of it was my parent's decision rather than mine, yet it was my own body.

I was never able to distinguish consonants and vowels apart from each other. Yet my parents did it "out of love" in their own best interests, thinking it would also be in my own best interest.

But I enjoy being deaf. There is nothing wrong with it. If my CI allowed me to distinguish between consonants and vowels, maybe I would've seen the benefits, and enjoyed life more, but in the end it would've limited me in other ways and still been an imposing of their will on my body that may as well be irreversible.

The benefits of hearing may be numerous, but is it worth a child being used in a way that is irreversible?

You'll hear many deaf children being very happy with their CI - but you also have to think about the child's feelings about having a CI in the body, whether it's had positive or negative results.

I can tell you that I wish my parents had never forced a CI into my body, and let me make the decision at a later age despite what the doctors say that putting in a CI is more likely to be successful at a young age.

Because then it would've been my own decision, not theirs. It would've been my own decision about my own body.

Listen to what a deaf child (your child) may have to say, more than what the parent (you) think. Respect how the child may feel and let the child find acceptance through being deaf; if the child wishes to have a CI later, let the child do it at an age when he/she is capable of making an educated decision.

This is my point of view, as well as that of many deaf children and adults out there. Which would be the greater love: to listen to them or to listen to yourself?
Click to expand...

TRUE!!!! But my parents made bad choice for me because I am kind of Person who dont want machine thing inside my body or outside of my body.. I am kind of person who into the nature thing..CI isnt nature thing..it is mankind thing..i dont want that
 
Animal_Lover said:
Yes i sign but no my parents dont sign
No I won't wear CI when i am in college..yes i am taking the metal thing inside my head out when i am done college..yes it will be stuck in my head for couple years and no i wont hear things expect buzzing noise inside my head
Click to expand...

Did u ask your dr about the buzzing noise? That sounds painful!
 
deafskeptic said:
If they are truly pieces of shit, I would expect an 80% to 100% failure rate in cochlear implants among people who underwent surgery. How do we define cochlear failures? It's defined by this citeria:

# The skin flap can become infected.
# The body can reject the implant
# The implant receiver can extrude.
# The electrode array can get damaged or the electrodes were not put in right. Or the electrode array can migrate out of place.
# The implant simply does not work right

According to several sites on CI failures, only 1% to 4% of CIs fail. Not bad for "pieces of shit."

Even among failures, a second implant to replace the failure will work most of the time.

Now no one has ever claimed that implants will make you hearing or even understand speech. That often requires a lot of therapy. My audiologist pointed out to me that since I'm prelingually deaf and an adult, it will be harder for me to understand speech than if I had been born hearing and lost hearing after age 3. I will never be hearing even with CIs.

According to several of Cloggy's posts, implants are most likely to work on babies when they are implanted around age 1. I'm sure he can back up his claims with data.

I note that Animal lover was implanted at age 4 and outcomes are not nearly as likely to be successful after age 3. Unless she is having health problems with her CI, she's not likely to get it removed.

Most of the parents here have thought long and hard about the implants and success has varied a bit; I recall that Rockdrummer's son had an CI and it didn't work for him. Lotte and Lily seem to have had better outcomes than Rockdrummer's son. I always hope the parents will learn sign language for their CIs as the outcomes for CIs can vary a lot. I hate hearing about cases like those Shel90 has to deal with in her job. I wish more parents with CIs would be like the parents around here.

Success is most likely with babies under age 3 or with adults/children who were born hearing and became deaf after age 3.

if CIs are truly pieces of shit, can you back up your claims with data? I'm waiting.
Click to expand...

Well, first of all i am he not she..
second of all, my didnt fail..it success and i did speak good and hear good but i dont feel right about this..because it make me not being myself..
I fought my parents for my right not to wear it for LONG time because they dont want me to waste my 14years experince of practing speech and listening.. I dont care about that..
I didnt want that.. they want that..
they also told me that i am one of few deaf ppl can speak good and dont waste it plz..i said so I dont care if i am one of few deaf ppl who can speak good..
 
Animal_Lover said:
Well, first of all i am he not she..
second of all, my didnt fail..it success and i did speak good and hear good but i dont feel right about this..because it make me not being myself..
I fought my parents for my right not to wear it for LONG time because they dont want me to waste my 14years experince of practing speech and listening.. I dont care about that..
I didnt want that.. they want that..
they also told me that i am one of few deaf ppl can speak good and dont waste it plz..i said so I dont care if i am one of few deaf ppl who can speak good..
Click to expand...

This is a perfect case of parents expecting the child to meet their hearing needs but not willing to meet your deaf needs. I think if the parents want their deaf child to make the sacrifices of giving up play time to go to speech therapy classes and getting criticized to speak correctly, the parents should give up some of THEIR time to learn sign language and learn to put themselves in their child's shoes.
 
rockdrummer said:
Please remember that any surgury has risks. Whenever evaluating risk you have to ask yourself, what is the benefit? If the benefit outweighs the risk then you may want to consider going through with it. One risk of surgury as that you may not wake up, or the entire side of your head may remain numb for the rest of your life. I am sure there are many other risks that your doctor should go over with you. Is the benifit of not having something in your body worth those risks? Even your doctor will tell you this. I have been in accidents where they have mechanically wired and screwed me back togehter. My bones have fused and I really don't need the metal in me anymore but I am not going to have it removed becuase the risk doesn't outweigh the benefit. To me there is no benefit. I don't feel any less pure because I have forigen objects in several parts of my body.

The CI didn't work for my son and I would think it's a terrible waste to have your CI removed if you have had any benefit from it. I think that it's good for you to have a thread like this that shows a different perspective. I too am curious if you ever had any benefit from the CI? Or are you so upset with your parents for having you implanted that you never even gave it a chance?
Click to expand...

Well, I rather to take a risk...
for myeslf..to be myself
if it mess up.. that is for my parents' punishment for putting CI implant thing inside my head..
 
shel90 said:
U have a good point about evaluating the risks the surgery may involve but the problem is that Animallover was too young to make those decisions. He couldnt determine whether the risks outweigh the benefits or not. That is the big difference and I think that is why Animallover is upset about that. If I am wrong, then I am sure Animalover will let me know.
Click to expand...

hehe i may be young but i already made the decision.. i want it off!
 
Animal_Lover said:
Well, I rather to take a risk...
for myeslf..to be myself
if it mess up.. that is for my parents' punishment for putting CI implant thing inside my head..
Click to expand...
Wouldn't you share in that punishment if something were to go wrong?
 
Sorry, I thought you were a she.
Anyway, it's your decision not to wear the CI.
 
shel90 said:
This is a perfect case of parents expecting the child to meet their hearing needs but not willing to meet your deaf needs. I think if the parents want their deaf child to make the sacrifices of giving up play time to go to speech therapy classes and getting criticized to speak correctly, the parents should give up some of THEIR time to learn sign language and learn to put themselves in their child's shoes.
Click to expand...

yea true..but they didnt..
when i am done with my college and i wont see my family again because they dont know how i felt..
they think i am stupid becaues i cares about animals too much and think i am weird because of what i did and of who i am the gay. and blah blah blah..
well that is so Animal_Lover's way..there is nothing that they can do about it..
this is who i am..
I grew up without my family's showing me love..
I grew up with animals showing me love..
that why i cares about animals a lot..
 
deafskeptic said:
Sorry, I thought you were a she.
Anyway, it's your decision not to wear the CI.
Click to expand...

hehe it allright :D
yea..
it is my decision..
I am allow to sue my parents for putting my CI on me because this is my body my choice..not their choice?
 
Animal_Lover said:
yea true..but they didnt..
when i am done with my college and i wont see my family again because they dont know how i felt..
they think i am stupid becaues i cares about animals too much and think i am weird because of what i did and of who i am the gay. and blah blah blah..
well that is so Animal_Lover's way..there is nothing that they can do about it..
this is who i am..
I grew up without my family's showing me love..
I grew up with animals showing me love..
that why i cares about animals a lot..
Click to expand...

So your parents had high expectations from u to be "hearing" or there were other issues (u dont have to tell us)?

Another AD here talked about how her family disowned her cuz she is deaf. I find that SICK SICK! I know parents mean well but sometimes they dont get it about deafness. It is not the end of the world. I hope not to be that kind of parent to my children...the kind that doesnt "get it".

I am sorry about the pain u have to go thru. U sound like a very intelligent person who has a lot to offer. :)
 
Back
Top