How To Ignore False Rumors and Lies.....

Roadrunner said:
What ^Angel^ was implying here isn't about being 'mature', or having anyone taking advantage of oneself...the bottom line of what she is indicating is showing and being 'supportive' by taking a 'stand' alongside whoever is involved and victimized by false rumors or lies....and trying to put an 'end' to the rumors or lies with every heartfelt effort feasibly....
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I understand what Angel means. I am speakin' of myself, if I were in someone's shoes. It's not necessary for me to run to someone for support by takin' a "stand" alongside whoever is involved and victimized by false rumors or lies, because that would be callin' a 3rd party to butt in and will create an argument/or friction. It's not worth it, let alone 2 parties to take care of themselves. I know that everyone has their own difference by how they view it and what's the best they can do to make it truce. I do have my own limit. Well, that's me. :)
 
just dont give a fuck and laugh it off... just ignore, unless if its about ur friendship, straight this out with YOUR friends.. and ask them if its true or not, if NOT, just leave that way.. if its true, talk abt it. simple...

its doesnt hurt to ignore the rumors, i barely hears the rumors alot.. because i dont give a fuck abt these dramas...

necessary.... as i will always said..

RUMOR WILL BE ALWAYS BULLSHIT, THAT IS THAT.
why waste it to believe it? :squint:
 
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kuifje75 said:
Right now, someone is spreading false stories about me, and it's really bothering me. I sure don't appreciate it at all. That person made new friends and told them all these so-called truths, and have them pitted against me now. Oh well, I am not going to worry about this because if they can't hear both sides of the stories, then they will never know the truth.

I also agree with Liza about her ranting forum. It was created in an environment that it was not to be taken seriously, but as a place to express one's own feelings in the rawest form. It's like writing one's own frustrastions onto a paper, then throwing it away in the rubbish bin, to "forget" the whole thing. Cussing and venting illogical anger is a big part of this area, and most members of the Artkunst recognise this. In the past, they never took offence to this.

Then someone outside the forum, who was absolutely unaware of the forum rules, took a sentence out of the ranting forum and sent it to some other member in another forum. It was taken totally out of context, and the sentence was twisted into something seen as backstabbing, whereas it was not supposed to be. Not only did it make the ranter angry, but the entire forum. That ranting forum was actually quite less public than a personal public blog, and only the members could see it. Now, it has been made much more private.

I do not feel sorry for these people who are misled by the other into believing in wrong rumours and lies about me. If they cannot take the steps to learn about me, then they never will know for sure until possibly too late.
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It was not just took 'a' sentence out of the ranting forum and sent it to some other member in another forum, It was the Whole Venting Hon. But, Not that it was only venting there more there is something in there that never took place...When Someone call someone a "liar" and can't back it up with proof that Someone is in fact a liar, then Someone is guilty of "libel". And the fact that the statement is Someone Did Lied. If someone Admit that he lied then it wouldn't be such a hot button issue, now would it?

Now, It’s a matter of trust. When a person lies, they have broken a bond – an unspoken agreement to treat others as we would like to be treated. Making statements that just don’t hold together should make Someone suspicious....All I ever wanted was to admit that someone lied and apology what so hard about that? :(

Thanks for having the Time to Read This... :P
 
About the 3rd Party thing I notice in ^Angel^'s thread it is not about 3rd parties....

When You are feeling Hurt You would like to tell ur friends about it... But, That does not mean that your friends have to butt in other people's Business. I do not tell My friends who they could be friends with who they couldn't and I do not let them get Involved either.. When People Post in here not agreeing with someone that doesn't mean they are involved with a drama of the parties that do not like eachother They have their own mind of Choice what they want to say who they want to be friends with Who they want to believe. :thumb:

Remember there "Proof" Out there that People will Recover and know the true Colors of someone without having to be told. :ily:
 
Angel, It’s exactly how you describe over the feelings. I’m the same as you, too. I’m agreeing that the rumor could be real nasty & cruel. It’s good thread to share our feelings what we did wrong or right.
Depend kind of rumors I can ignore or not.

1. I’m not person to believe/listen the rumors because I know the rumors they spread out is often misunderstand…
2. I often clear misunderstand & correct to person who started to spread the rumors out over my friend whom I known well because I know the rumors about her/him is not true. I only do is stop their rumors to support my friend.
3. I’m not person to spread the rumors; backstabbing or hurt about other person after believes others.
4. I would say to you who accused me or jump the gun on me for lies etc… “It’s fine with me if you believe what others say about me, then leave me alone because I don’t bother to convince you what he/she said is lies”. Just up to you either you believe me or not. I do all is save hassle & anger if they still believe others.
5. I would go to person directly who spread the lies about me to solve the situation with them than carried on tell others, then others how upset/disappoint I am etc.
6. Betrayal is the mostly hurtful I ever had… It’s very hard to forgive after what they did is betray our friendship. It would take a long time to forgive them but the friendship would never stay the same as before like what I stated other thread over court over car case etc.
7. I would solve with a person who betray my trust instead of let my feeling hurt/boil myself… It would be worst if you keep the rumor yourself to end to hurt yourself. It’s best is solve with a person straight to find out. If a person who don’t want to solve with you, then leave them alone.
8. I had an experience with the rumor in the past but I’m too smart for them…Example of all, I joined mother & child group when I had first baby to make the friends with them. I invited them to celebrate my son’s Danny’s 1st birthday party in my house. After that I heard the rumor that Carole who started is most nasty over my house. I don’t bother to confront her over that because I know what the rumor over my house is true but it’s sad to know that she is backstabbing on me. She forget very quickly that I didn’t spread out over her house… I do is ignored her because I’m proud of my house & think positive myself instead of upset & anger on her is: “Ha, I know she’s jealous of me”. She begins to notice that I made a lot of excuse for not welcome her visit to my house. Something like that, ‘Sorry, I have no time…. I got invited etc”. I’m waiting for her to ask me why I tried doing something to avoid her but she didn’t. If she didn’t want to ask me is her problem, I thought to myself until one day Christina is upset over her problem due the rumor & wants to share with me etc. Carole saw us coincidently & joined us curiously. I thought to myself what she brought those subject is super because I’m going to share this subject with her to show Carole up. I said to Christina front of Carole, “yeah, I know how you feel etc. I also hate the rumor, too because I’m victim of the nasty rumor over my house last year whom I invite to celebrate my son’s birthday party to know a person better but all what she do is backstabbing on me”. I can tell from her shock impression & excused herself for go to restroom. I smile myself then carry on listen Christina’s problem…Christina noticed that Carole didn’t come back from restroom anymore… Christina knew straight way what wrong when I smiled & carried on to have normal conversation with her. Few days after that I got an apology fax from her saying that she’s regret for her mistake…As you see that it’s waste of time to be upset/anger over that situation when you know the rumor is true but just let her feel guilty after notice something wrong with your odd act herself. BUT the lies rumor is a different story, like what Angel stated is a logical like what I stated at No.5 & 7.
 
Liza said:
It's always good to let go of something, instead of making something an obsession by telling friends about the same thing all the time. Though I have my disappointments, I don't dwell on them.. I just get them out of my system and move on. Sometimes friends can be sick of the same things being said again, and again.. even if you say that you forgave others. It's scary when some people don't realize how they come off to others, but they are pretty self absorbed in that aspect. Crab Theory, once again...
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Liza, I’m truly sorry how upset & disappoint you are but I think it would not help when you made the rules over Ranting Forum because it’s members who decide themselves to trust the forum or not. They are adult to know what they doing. It’s up to them if they want to share with us or not.
I think you ought talk to a person straight like what I said at No. 5 & 7 what you think/what you don’t like instead of suspect what the members did…
I would copy my own statement from forum to add other forum because it’s my idea. I would ask other member for the permission to copy their statement to add other forum what I already did until they approved my permission because it’s their idea & their statement.

At your case, it´s sad to know but the members ought be careful what they can trust those forum or not but it´s most important is: put false name or without put their name...
 
Why is it important for people to know who others are talking about?
 
Roadrunner said:
The rule alone wouldn't be considered protecting others' privacy when it is OBVIOUS as to what is being recanted, i.e.; about a person,a place, etc.,...I find this rule a tad bit absurd...although, there is a common sense or demeanor that's prevalent when it comes to withholding names....
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I think you are responding to my post. Can you elaborate on this? :)
 
:::THUD!:::

Oy, I can see that I've fallen into a HOT topic/thread...good one, ^Angel^. I don't think I've seen one pertaining to rumors here at AllDeaf. :)

Okay - well...after reading all of this, I do have something to add. First off, I'm not the type of person to believe things unless I see them or hear them (no pun intended) myself. Rumors are usually more hurtful than they are helpful...and when started with the intent to hurt someone's feelings or injure their pride, then I honestly and truly want NO part or involvement in it. I do know how people can be malicious when angry at another or simply out for blood. Most of these rumors stem from disagreements or misunderstandings, anyway.

I've heard my share of rumors. I loathe lying, more than most things that are on my pet peeve list, and there really isn't much on there. So if someone should approach me with a rumor that has the potential of holding true, then I would say, "Okay...thank you for telling me. Now, do you have the facts to back up your statement? How do YOU know that it's true? And WHY should I believe you?" It's not to be mean, believe me, but I am not one to spew forth dirt on someone, especially if it's not true.

I strongly believe that there are many, many ways to deal with a problem between two people...there ARE two sides to a story, or more if more people are involved. The best way, in my opinion, is to TALK to the person/people you are at odds with. Approach them, confront them, hit them over the head with a frying pan, do whatever you have to do to get their attention, and deal with the matter privately. E-mail, private messages, IM's, letters, whatever you can think of so that the problem is recognized, and dealt with in a more mature manner than spreading information that may or may not be true. That's just my opinion though... :)

It's very, very easy to lie about someone you don't like. Believe me, I know. I've been the butt of plenty of rumors, myself. However, it can't be healthy to be bitter about it and dwell on these things. There's always a better way to handle things, better choices to be made and different approaches to take, but once a rumor has been started and circulated, then the damage has already been done. Then, from there, a lot MORE misunderstandings are likely to be born and it's truly not worth it.

If you're right, and you KNOW you're right, then that should be all you need to put whatever is being said about you to rest. Also, if you know that the other person is wrong and what has been said about you holds no truth, then that should also satisfy your own peace of mind. We are only responsible for being the best people we can possibly be, whether we're the victim or the antagonist.

Malfoyish
 
Liza said:
Why is it important for people to know who others are talking about?
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cuz of they need to know not put in post and just talk in PM.. that what they talk abt it... i agree with them... some of my friends got upset abt that... so wanna to tell everyone in here and tell how feeling abt that... ;)
 
Liza said:
Why is it important for people to know who others are talking about?
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Curiousity killed the cat ;)

I don't know about you folks, I myself rarely talked about anyone behind their backs (I must admit that I did that in the past when I was young and stupid but not any longer) I dislike to say any bad things about anyone (beside President Bush). There are tons of topics to discuss about so why should we bother to whine, insults, backstab, etc etc about others? I just don't get it.
 
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Rumormongering

Actually, it's very hard to avoid rumors - or to ignore them. Oftentimes, they contain personal information that you may have told just ONE close friend, and yeah, when you hear it being spread around in exergratted terms, and you know who you told...it HURTS like hell.

Now, I'm going to be honest here. I'm not going to be "dainty" in my language, in fact, I'm going back to my rough street slang -

Dissin people aint all that, and yet when you hear urself being dissed, you know what those assholes be talking bout, and you know you told your close peeps what be goin on, and it fucking kills ya inside -

Only way to straighten it out is to confront that bitchy peep ya told the FYI to, and ask her/him why he be stretchin the truth for?

As it is, it may be TMI and peeps be lovin to add to it, and make you look worse than you be, and only way to ignore these rumormongering is to develop a tough exterior and build a wall between ya and that lyin peep - if he/she been spreadin bout ya, he/she aint worth keepin no more.

Yah, you can front up to that bitch, but the pblm is damage already done - you know that person cant shaddup no more. Best way to cut ur losses loose and get a new posse or chg ur expectations of ur posse.

Back to normal -
Sorry I was rather pissed off...sometimes I got to bust loose, cuz, my dear Cheri, I know it hurts when your close friend tells all and then all those others that hear it, stretches it so much, you can't even recognize the story anymore.

I would just advise you to just be yourself. Its going to hurt, and it will be hard to ignore it for a while, but thankfully, all rumors fade away...just give it time.

Meanwhile, you got friends here giving you group huggies...Embrace them, for we all love ya!

Love,
DD

:grouphug:
 
^Angel^ said:
Hi DeafScuba98,

Why don't you explain to me what you meant by ' Jealous ' as I would like to hear your view on this....
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i choose the word "jealous" because there are many people out there who are jealous about relationship, money, things, etc.etc.. they would create a false rumors related to that person they're jealous on.. For example if a person's jealous of relationship.. they might create a false rumor " this man had sex with her while he's in relationship with her"
 
DreamDeaf said:
Actually, it's very hard to avoid rumors - or to ignore them. Oftentimes, they contain personal information that you may have told just ONE close friend, and yeah, when you hear it being spread around in exergratted terms, and you know who you told...it HURTS like hell.

Now, I'm going to be honest here. I'm not going to be "dainty" in my language, in fact, I'm going back to my rough street slang -

Dissin people aint all that, and yet when you hear urself being dissed, you know what those assholes be talking bout, and you know you told your close peeps what be goin on, and it fucking kills ya inside -

Only way to straighten it out is to confront that bitchy peep ya told the FYI to, and ask her/him why he be stretchin the truth for?

As it is, it may be TMI and peeps be lovin to add to it, and make you look worse than you be, and only way to ignore these rumormongering is to develop a tough exterior and build a wall between ya and that lyin peep - if he/she been spreadin bout ya, he/she aint worth keepin no more.

Yah, you can front up to that bitch, but the pblm is damage already done - you know that person cant shaddup no more. Best way to cut ur losses loose and get a new posse or chg ur expectations of ur posse.

Back to normal -
Sorry I was rather pissed off...sometimes I got to bust loose, cuz, my dear Cheri, I know it hurts when your close friend tells all and then all those others that hear it, stretches it so much, you can't even recognize the story anymore.

I would just advise you to just be yourself. Its going to hurt, and it will be hard to ignore it for a while, but thankfully, all rumors fade away...just give it time.

Meanwhile, you got friends here giving you group huggies...Embrace them, for we all love ya!

Love,
DD

:grouphug:
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u are right abt that.. i agree with u for that... so i dont like plms around here.. few of my good friends are innocent here... oh man.. if this rumor and lies still stubborn then i will leaving here... cuz of i really tired of that :bsflag: and i wanna to have fun and discuss with other people for FUN period! u know what i mean??? i dont wanna leave here cuz of i really love some of my good friends from here.. :grouphug:
 
Malfoyish said:
:::THUD!:::

Oy, I can see that I've fallen into a HOT topic/thread...good one, ^Angel^. I don't think I've seen one pertaining to rumors here at AllDeaf. :)

Okay - well...after reading all of this, I do have something to add. First off, I'm not the type of person to believe things unless I see them or hear them (no pun intended) myself. Rumors are usually more hurtful than they are helpful...and when started with the intent to hurt someone's feelings or injure their pride, then I honestly and truly want NO part or involvement in it. I do know how people can be malicious when angry at another or simply out for blood. Most of these rumors stem from disagreements or misunderstandings, anyway.

I've heard my share of rumors. I loathe lying, more than most things that are on my pet peeve list, and there really isn't much on there. So if someone should approach me with a rumor that has the potential of holding true, then I would say, "Okay...thank you for telling me. Now, do you have the facts to back up your statement? How do YOU know that it's true? And WHY should I believe you?" It's not to be mean, believe me, but I am not one to spew forth dirt on someone, especially if it's not true.

I strongly believe that there are many, many ways to deal with a problem between two people...there ARE two sides to a story, or more if more people are involved. The best way, in my opinion, is to TALK to the person/people you are at odds with. Approach them, confront them, hit them over the head with a frying pan, do whatever you have to do to get their attention, and deal with the matter privately. E-mail, private messages, IM's, letters, whatever you can think of so that the problem is recognized, and dealt with in a more mature manner than spreading information that may or may not be true. That's just my opinion though... :)

It's very, very easy to lie about someone you don't like. Believe me, I know. I've been the butt of plenty of rumors, myself. However, it can't be healthy to be bitter about it and dwell on these things. There's always a better way to handle things, better choices to be made and different approaches to take, but once a rumor has been started and circulated, then the damage has already been done. Then, from there, a lot MORE misunderstandings are likely to be born and it's truly not worth it.

If you're right, and you KNOW you're right, then that should be all you need to put whatever is being said about you to rest. Also, if you know that the other person is wrong and what has been said about you holds no truth, then that should also satisfy your own peace of mind. We are only responsible for being the best people we can possibly be, whether we're the victim or the antagonist.

Malfoyish
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Nice points, Malfy. I agree! *hugs girly* I'm sorry, I won't speak more of this. I truly felt betrayed, and I had a need to get it out by making clarifications. I see others did, too. I can see BOTH sides felt betrayed because of how they looked at this differently. What works for somebody, might not work for another. I know that is beyond our control.. Just know that I truly wish all of you love and peace on your paths no matter what!
 
False rumours/stalker/lying teeth and much more more different in your emotions. Cannot be removed how much you really dislike of combines what their personalities done to you terrible ordeal in the past. My understanding, I was in bad experience, who treated me like hell much of their can turns into bogus stories againist me.. Ah *interesting* what their problem.. explain why that person who really turned into jealous and to trying to be destory your replaution. *Bingo* I decide to move on and let them go if you want contuines bogus stories againist anyone..
*psssst*, You're still wasting time totally! Think about peepz will turn back againist you again... Do you care about this ?? I doubt. Let me guess, Doesn't matter whoever prefer stay "White lie".. If you want to.. That's fine by me... Be cautions yourself... Don't ask again and twice again...
Think about your life again... re-condiser about your life prefer stay good stable lifestyles and keep clean your nose all the times.. That great!

*I've been lot of betrayed from my friend* (sheesh) Am I blinded.. Yes totally.. I've learned it lot from my old friend.. I'm glad, I'm no longer friend with her anymore.. If she wishes contuines bogus... btw it's her own problem.. not mine..
I preferable stay friend who truly trusted and honest person... espically I like to see who is very excellent repluation and respect as straightenforward too.

Remmy that your personalities preferable "strictly rules about your friendship*, no way.. cannot be control them... about being false rumours or else.. Who really you are? *stick with it*
This topic really nice.. but simlair like "resolve the problem other thread too" No difference as so many different issues....
 
wow! great thread Angel gurl --

Liza, Malfoyish, Kuifje, Deafscuba, the blonde twins, Roadrunner and DreamDeaf has made very good posts and expressed exactly how u would feel and i feel the same way as many of u have mentioned --

i have been the topic of rumors too myself -- the way i look at it -- if they want to believe the rumors fine let them and the truth itself will become known to all at some point (even at the oddest of time and thats known to have happened) -- i perceive that ppl who likes to start up false rumors have the lowest standards of themselves (low self esteem and/or low self confidence) and more likely are jealous of what (the person) may have or are doing or whatever -- i know also that some ppl would choose the wrong ppl that they would consider "friends" -- ive been thru that and learned how to recognize which ones are trouble and which ones are the good people -- i just flatly ignore rumors unless it happened to be reference to a close friend of mine then i will let him/her know whats up with the rumors and that i know its not true and they would thank me and deal with it themselves -- ive seen incidences where ppl would do a search in a person's background (either by way of childhood, prison before or not and etc etc) or ask other ppl who knows the person of varying degrees (know person a little bit to know person VERY well) and use that kind of negative info against the person to make them "look bad" when they already have made so much positive changes in their lives -- ie: stable job/working for more than just a few mos, married/committed/settled down -- some ppl would try and make those positive changes of a person look like a very little thing and make the negative info a BIG thing -- those are the types of ppl i tend to stay away from or keep on a very netural level when talking or associating with them -- if i could i would be naming names on who i know are "bad news" but i dont cuz i know i dont want to stoop that low to their level

ive also noticed sometimes rumors would start based on what a person has done while in high school and its already been past 10 years since high school and some ppl seems to think that a person would still be the SAME over 10 years later when its not even an accurate answer and not recognize that the person has grown up to be a better person than how they were in HS

i have a few close friends and i like it that way -- those are the ones i know i can trust 110% -- in the years ive grown up, i found it is better to have a few close and good friends than to have so many friends cuz it just seems that if a person had so many friends problems/rumors/whatever seems to crop up and they spread like wildfire
 
In my opinion, the best thing to do is to ignore rumors. I've heard a lot of rumors, but I keep most of them to myself. As for the rest, I might share them with a couple close friends for the purpose of understanding and learning as well as figuring out what's going on. Sometimes, it helps to talk to that person directly to clear things up.
 
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