How To Ignore False Rumors and Lies.....

[Vance]

ive also noticed sometimes rumors would start based on what a person has done while in high school and its already been past 10 years since high school and some ppl seems to think that a person would still be the SAME over 10 years later when its not even an accurate answer and not recognize that the person has grown up to be a better person than how they were in HS

EXCATLY. That's what I am dealing with some people right now. Fuck it I am a human and I made some mistakes in the past but they refuse to forget and kept bend their will and their life to be obsess about it. but again, some people like to drag them down to their level.. hence crab theory invented. At least I know I made some mistakes and regretted about it, there is nothing I can do about it to change that but move on. Also that's one of few reasons why I tried to not get around with deafies and spend most of time with hearing people because of that. I want to be able to enjoy the life without having to deal with these pathetic people.

but i dont cuz i know i dont want to stoop that low to their level

Again, excatly.. that's what I said in my other post. As long as you did not stoop to their level, you will be ok and feel good about yourself that you accomplished something that 98% of population seem could not or incapacitate to do so.

For some reason, I got this feeling that I know you. *shrugs*

 

[Angel]

WoW!..I can't believe this thread is getting interesting and hot!...

Reading the many views expressed here shows we are trying to work together by sharing ways of how each one of us deals with rumors and lies....I agree with most of the ways brought to our attention in dealing with the issues of rumors and lies....I realize everyone has their own way of how to approach a situation involving a rumor or lie...In the most part, it's good to see most of us don't ever desire to be a part or involved in a malicious way by spreading degrading remarks thru rumors or slandering someone with lies....

Everyone can see things ( rumors, lies, and remarks ) in many different ways, they will perceive in a way that someone else doesn't... The point here is no matter how people see it but more of when others that don't know what is going on and fall for the rumors and lies that are being spread out especially when the story or circumstances isn't true in the first place!!!.....I am aware of the fact there are times when we do need to vent, I see no problem with that but when it is conducted in such a way that it is very easy to understand what is being ranted about, even when names are not used to identify the source or person because then more people will be involved in the midst of a ranting by way of spreading a rumor or lie with others outside of the drama....This creates even more unnecessary problems which tends to lead into more rumors and lies....

Right now, someone is spreading false stories about me

Aren't you doing the same thing too?....*shaking my head*....( Sorry, but I had to say this )...


Thank you everyone for your responses and sharing your ways of how to deal with rumors and lies....Please continue posting more and much more!....I love to read everyone of you!...

 

[Fly Free]

Fuck it I am a human and I made some mistakes in the past but they refuse to forget and kept bend their will and their life to be obsess about it. but again, some people like to drag them down to their level.. hence crab theory invented. At least I know I made some mistakes and regretted about it, there is nothing I can do about it to change that but move on. Also that's one of few reasons why I tried to not get around with deafies and spend most of time with hearing people because of that. I want to be able to enjoy the life without having to deal with these pathetic people.

yea i agree *smh* we all make mistakes in life and thats why i call it "life's lessons" cuz (at least IMO) we live thru the mistakes we make and learn from them and grow to be a better person overall -- sure we have challenges in life and etc and i dont think that should keep us from striving to be a better person regardless of where u are in life -- be it HS, college, adulthood and etc etc

Again, excatly.. that's what I said in my other post. As long as you did not stoop to their level, you will be ok and feel good about yourself that you accomplished something that 98% of population seem could not or incapacitate to do so.

what we learn in life and accomplish is of our own success -- if other ppl just cant handle it -- the way i look at it -- its their problem

For some reason, I got this feeling that I know you. *shrugs*

uhmm wonder from where LOL

 

[Vance]

Yup I agree with you all the way.

Where? South California during 90's ? Well, to make thing more easier.. Is your first name, Tony?

 

[Fly Free]

Where? South California during 90's ? Well, to make thing more easier.. Is your first name, Tony?

no my first name isnt Tony nor have i ever lived in CA -- im female BTW LOL and im a native of the DC Metro area now living in Missouri with my gf who is also a member here

*shaking hands* nice to cybermeetcha

 

[Vance]

Ok now I feel dumb .-.

In any case, nice to meet you ;]

 

[Fly Free]

not to worry Magatsu u arent the only one that has figured me for a male and was mistaken on that hehe

u will be fine despite all that u are going thru right now

 

[bbnt]

problems in these forums should never go father than the 2 people
having the problems with each other. unless your being constantly harassed then a mod would become involved

 

[Roadrunner]

I think you are responding to my post. Can you elaborate on this?

Of course I was responding to your post...and not that too hard to explain what I was pointing out...for example: you have someone who is outraged, upset, etc...and needs to vent...and they decide to make a post...according to your rules...no names--functions, corporations, people, etc...is to be named...YET, I simply can't fathom the idea of when or if someone is able to rant in a post (of course, we all have moments when we need to 'vent'...to let out the steam, anger, frustrations, etc...) WHEN a specific notation or description CAN easily identify or make connection to a certain person, corporation, etc.,...that's where I find the rule somewhat ridiculous and perhaps frivolous!! Put it in this perspective, IF, I mean IF, you were to see a post...and it was sooooooo obvious that whoever was posting and were speaking of 'you'??? Things that are lies, half-truths, or quite bluntly, a nasty tasteless rumor...you wouldn't sit idly by and watch it grow with a frenzy, now would you? Nahhh, I didn't think so! Speaking of the rules that you have publicly stated...imagine SOMEONE, I mean anyone, being in there, and seeing something SOOOO untrue and it involved someone close or to a good friend...again, would the person who 'read' it sit idly by and abide by your rules and not discuss or tell to the person aforementioned? In most instances, I would tend to believe that most of us would be willingly go to the 'victim' of the rumor or lie....BEFORE it can get spread out to others on the outside...do you for once believe that everyone is going to conduct themselves accordingly and not share some hurtful rantings with the person involved whether that person is a member or not? I think not....yet, there are others that lack disregard for others and I'm sure you were thinking along the lines of those types, but for the others that DO care about their friends, etc...and would DO something....whatever it takes to END the lies or rumors!!

Plus, I should add, you have every right to maintain a site and your intentions is understandable, yet has some 'loopholes' in it that I believe needs to be rectified and amended accordingly...that's just my opinion, believe what you want....

PEACE....

 

[Banjo]

Speaking of the rules that you have publicly stated...imagine SOMEONE, I mean anyone, being in there, and seeing something SOOOO untrue and it involved someone close or to a good friend...again, would the at lack disregard for others and I'm sure you were thinking along the lines of those types, but for the others that DO care about their friends, etc...and would DO something....whatever it takes to END the lies or rumors!!

Can you please name any of the ranting posts that you believe are filled with lies or rumours?

Well?

I'm just asking since you are making the claim, please back yourself up. Even if it means breaching the rules which I wouldn't do, but the risk is up to you to prove it or not.

Then tell us the truth behind the wall of lies.

 

[Roadrunner]

Can you please name any of the ranting posts that you believe are filled with lies or rumours?

Well?

I'm just asking since you are making the claim, please back yourself up. Even if it means breaching the rules which I wouldn't do, but the risk is up to you to prove it or not.

Then tell us the truth behind the wall of lies.

First of all, if you would read my post a bit more carefully, I never once mentioned anything about 'claiming' to have seen any posts specifically that has lies and false rumors in it...I am merely pointing out that there are people/posters who would scoop that low and do such a thing and I'm only bringing to attention of a 'loophole' with the rules therein...furthermore, I do not have anything to prove to you when you have misinterpret my post....If you would read that this thread that ^Angel^ has started here applies to anywhere in general...and I'm just responding to Liza's post, therefore, have nothing more to clarify for your own satisfaction, likewise, everyone has their own opinions and I'm just instilling my own whether anyone likes it or not....

Furthermore, if anyone, like you are doing now, ask(ing) me to name names, I wouldn't DARE do such a thing as that, I couldn't scoop that low or even consider it in my mind such a thing!!

 

[VamPyroX]

Hey, take it easy. Let's not start pointing fingers at each other. It's starting to look like you're hinting someone else and it's not doing us any good. Stick with "How To Ignore False Rumors and Lies....", not complain about what others do or "I hate when he/she or 'this certain member' does this or that." Let's keep this topic nice and simple.

For me, it's pretty simple. There are people who do cause problems for me, but I just ignore them and think about other things. I've been harassed in the past through AIM, but with Trillian, I am always away so they don't always know if I'm in the room or not. That way, I can ignore them and they eventually realize that they aren't getting to me so they leave me alone. The same goes for online forums. I've had several people criticize my actions. Well, I'm just doing my job. Maybe, I don't like it. Maybe, you don't like it. However, I'm doing my job the best I can and I'm not going to bitch about it. If it becomes a problem, then I will do something about it. Other than that, I just let it go and move on with other things.

 

[Banjo]

First of all, if you would read my post a bit more carefully, I never once mentioned anything about 'claiming' to have seen any posts specifically that has lies and false rumors in it...I am merely pointing out that there are people/posters who would scoop that low and do such a thing and I'm only bringing to attention of a 'loophole' with the rules therein...furthermore, I do not have anything to prove to you when you have misinterpret my post

Misinterpreted?

You spoke too soon.

Furthermore, if anyone, like you are doing now, ask(ing) me to name names, I wouldn't DARE do such a thing as that, I couldn't scoop that low or even consider it in my mind such a thing!!

Did I ask you to name names?

No, I asked you to name the ranting posts. You misinterpreted my post too as well.

 

[VamPyroX]

Misinterpreted?

You spoke too soon.



Did I ask you to name names?

No, I asked you to name the ranting posts. You misinterpreted my post too as well.

Hey, what did I just say?

This thread is "How To Ignore False Rumors and Lies...."

Not "Who To Blame..." or "What Did I Say..."

Let's stick with the topic.

If there are any further non-related posts like that, I will lock the thread. Thanks.

 

[Liza]

Hey, peace RR and Banjo I did ask RR to clarify, and RR thanks for doing that. I would be glad to give solutions any serious consideration. It just crosses a line when somebody jumps on me or if somebody breaks an agreement as a member, and I will definitely maintain these boundaries because I have feelings and integrity. Fortunately, my feelings and integrity AND boundaries aren't defined by somebody else but me. Everyone has a boundary they can choose to maintain or not. I understand you do have yours, and I can respect it. It will not mean that I wish the worst on those who has jumped on me or broke an agreement, but actually the very best and love.

I truly believe everyone is fundamentally a good soul, and it does suck when we have some baggages that might influence how we look at things. I see it as a good thing to just get the feelings and pain out verbally. That is how I can live with such a rule - and I don't see loopholes at all. I'm truly sorry if you do, but I can respect that you see that differently. I won't give you a guilt trip for thinking differently. It's more fun that way, anyway! I don't do that Us VS Them stuff. I must say that ranting forum is just one of many ways an individual can choose to employ or not because of boundaries. That's cool with me.

If somebody made a rant about me, I would unconditionally support that person. I know it's not my issue, but her or his issue. If I did find a problem about it, I would really have to look at why it bothers me. I don't know about you, but I live by this philosophy about creating inner peace by realizing how situations and people can mirror aspects of you. That is a gift in itself if you want to look at it that way! We do not always know how to start it, but fundamentally we are able to move on once we transform/change all the gunky energies (by ranting, confiding in another or a group etc) into something more positive like confronting the other person with a better approach without the anger or something else that may work better for us. Do you have a religion that helps you get through dark times and help you with the steps to forgive yourself and others completely, too? I can respect that and love you for it too.

Suddenly, it's not about rumors, lies, or gossip... it comes down to this: It's about me, how I see my experience in a situation or interaction with others - and I have complete control of how I look at things and how I can approach them. Rumors, lies and gossip have no power because I choose to not give my power away to those. They will die quickly or keep being carried by those who may still need them. I think the key resides in that where inner peace and personal responsibility are concerned. It is much, much easier to look at others, and what they have done wrong than ourselves for sure! Would that bring you inner peace and security as well? Maybe some of you still feel differently after reading this, and that's still ok with me. I do appreciate the time taken to read this post. I know, I'm very longwinded when I care about something... LOL!! Great thread and thank you, Angel

Thanks RR again, and have a great week!

 

[Liza]

yea i agree *smh* we all make mistakes in life and thats why i call it "life's lessons" cuz (at least IMO) we live thru the mistakes we make and learn from them and grow to be a better person overall -- sure we have challenges in life and etc and i dont think that should keep us from striving to be a better person regardless of where u are in life -- be it HS, college, adulthood and etc etc

what we learn in life and accomplish is of our own success -- if other ppl just cant handle it -- the way i look at it -- its their problem

Great points girly! Mistakes are great teachers. It also matters how we react to something awful like gossip, lies, or whatever as we "see" them IMO. Because we're "supposed" to do something based on what we feel to be right, and it can be a conflict since everyone has a different idea of what is right. Do we ignore them and keep it to ourselves, or try to talk about them, or get mad? Or sad? Or upset? Try to write about it in a private journal? Talk to a counselor about it? Tell a teacher? Confide in a friend? Share this in a group? These are the choices we have.

 

[kuifje75]

Aren't you doing the same thing too?....*shaking my head*....( Sorry, but I had to say this )...

Nope, it's different when it is the TRUTH. That is my final word.

 

[Cheri]

Nope, it's different when it is the TRUTH. That is my final word.

WRONG! Half is true half is NOT true :roll: Some People can't admit it that is so Shame.

 

[Maria]

Hey, whoa Cheri ! You see, it is what I mean about a 3rd party who butts in. That's why I don't like to see. When the 2 parties talk to each other about their views and a 3rd party tends to butt in to support sister/friends. That's a tsk tsk

 

[LinuxGold]

Please keep this discussion clear of direct blame, rather, keep it generalized. For example:

"Rumor should be discouraged, because it demoralizes one's reputation for no reason without actual body of evidence to present."

If this continues, I or VamPyroX, will lock this thread.