HEY! If you are using Alldeaf to stalk your ex...

Jess said:
Surprise! ! not done with you!
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:shock:
Jiro said:
:-o
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feels bad man.
 
Steinhauer said:
That is some serious f#^ked up shit!!! :shock:

About 2 years ago, I was driving home from work when I saw a woman running along the side of the street trying to frantically flag people down. No one pulled over, so naturally, I did. I thought maybe her car broke down. She came screaming into my truck and started sobbing uncontrollably and asked me to take her to the nearest medical emergency facility. There was a fire department just down the road, so I figured I needed to get her there as any medical emergency facility was miles away.

On the way there, I learned that her BF had gotten into an argument with her father and her BF killed her father right in front of her. I got to the fire department and started banging on the doors, an EMT came out and took over.
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Oh how horrible! That must have been terrifying for both of you!

I am sorry KristinaB about your ex. Despite our bashing of our exs, I am sure none of us wish such a final fate for them.
 
Kristinia that is horrible!!!!!!
But, unfortunately, that happens all too often. The prisons are full of people just like him, and that is the last place they need to be.
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Yes. We really do need to reopen mental insistuions for folks with severe issues. Right now in most states the ONLY option for intense mental health treatment is a mental hospital for the criminally insane.
And to add, to the stalker....GET OVER IT! She ENDED the relationship.....she's NO longer interested. Get a life!!!!!
 
There isn't really much you can do since some of you are on a public forum unless you find a way to stop someone from stalking you. Of course, it is a serious manner that we have to deal with. Some men just don't get it and think it's okay to stalk someone and nothing will happen to them. Don't forget that men can be stalked by women, too. Don't be too surprised, people.
 
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sequoias said:
There isn't really much you can do since some of you are on a public forum unless you find a way to stop someone from stalking you. Of course, it is a serious manner that we have to deal with. Some men just don't get it and think it's okay to stalk someone and nothing will happen to them. Don't forget that men can be stalked by women, too. Don't be too surprised, people.
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Its called Fatal attraction
 
sequoias said:
There isn't really much you can do since some of you are on a public forum unless you find a way to stop someone from stalking you. Of course, it is a serious manner that we have to deal with. Some men just don't get it and think it's okay to stalk someone and nothing will happen to them. Don't forget that men can be stalked by women, too. Don't be too surprised, people.
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On the contrary, there's plenty that can be done. Just because it's a public forum doesn't give a person the right to use it to get under someone's skin or to follow that person's posts...cyberstalking is a very serious crime and the police has the resources to find the evidence.
 
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deafbajagal said:
sequoias said:
There isn't really much you can do since some of you are on a public forum unless you find a way to stop someone from stalking you. Of course, it is a serious manner that we have to deal with. Some men just don't get it and think it's okay to stalk someone and nothing will happen to them. Don't forget that men can be stalked by women, too. Don't be too surprised, people.
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On the contrary, there's plenty that can be done. Just because it's a public forum doesn't give a person the right to use it to get under someone's skin or to follow that person's posts...cyberstalking is a very serious crime and the police has the resources to find the evidence.
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Use the block feature or set up invisible to be safe on AD that's an option just saying
 
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deafbajagal said:
Yes, but the girl shouldn't have to. He should leave her alone. Period.
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Yes, its good protection for her til things are solved then she can use AD freely. I really hope this isssue get straightened out how.
 
AlleyCat said:
I don't consider stalking a funny subject. Its a sore spot with me because I was stalked for over a year a few years ago (in person, not online). There's always the potential for harm in stalking situations. Anyway I will get off my soapbox because I know most of you were just trying to lighten the situation that may be going on with deafbaja's friend.
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How did you get them to stop? I've had a stalker for 4 years and nothing seems to help. He has twice now moved to live closer to me; most recently, a year ago about 7 houses down from me. :roll:
 
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rebeccalj said:
AlleyCat said:
I don't consider stalking a funny subject. Its a sore spot with me because I was stalked for over a year a few years ago (in person, not online). There's always the potential for harm in stalking situations. Anyway I will get off my soapbox because I know most of you were just trying to lighten the situation that may be going on with deafbaja's friend.
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How did you get them to stop? I've had a stalker for 4 years and nothing seems to help. He has twice now moved to live closer to me; most recently, a year ago about 7 houses down from me. :roll:
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Get a restraining order on him. Go to your local police Dept and file a report, collect all your proof such as text messages, emails, and other physical items that show his evidence. That's horrible he lives so close to you, get a RO
 
rebeccalj said:
How did you get them to stop? I've had a stalker for 4 years and nothing seems to help. He has twice now moved to live closer to me; most recently, a year ago about 7 houses down from me. :roll:
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Oceanblue7 said:
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Get a restraining order on him. Go to your local police Dept and file a report, collect all your proof such as text messages, emails, and other physical items that show his evidence. That's horrible he lives so close to you, get a RO
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That's perfect advice. I can't believe he's moved twice to be closer to you, Rebecca. That's downright scary. How is he managing to locate where you've moved to? Get to your police dept. and inform them of this, fast. I had to call the police on my stalker for bombarding me non-stop with emails and text messages. My phone wouldn't stop ringing. They paid him a visit and told him to lay off. He did lay off on the texting, but not the emails. I was just about at the point of a RO when he found some other girl to occupy his interest, so it tapered off for me. I was most happy when that finally stopped.
 
deafbajagal said:
On the contrary, there's plenty that can be done. Just because it's a public forum doesn't give a person the right to use it to get under someone's skin or to follow that person's posts...cyberstalking is a very serious crime and the police has the resources to find the evidence.
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Last year you were being stalked. Alex banned him.

If someone else is being stalked here this year, Alex can ban him.

Alex also can take his IP address which should show exactly where he is and give it to the police . End of story.

Putting a thread about in in public probably gives him joy if there is actually a stalker and stalkee.

It should just be dealt with quickly out of the public eye. No chances taken. That is why we have police.
 
Oceanblue7 said:
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Get a restraining order on him. Go to your local police Dept and file a report, collect all your proof such as text messages, emails, and other physical items that show his evidence. That's horrible he lives so close to you, get a RO
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I've tried that. The police here even hauled him off of my property about six months ago when he showed up, drunk, at my door insisting that I talk to him but that isn't enough to get a criminal harassment order.

The police tell me that they are too busy with *real* threats of stalking where someone's life is in danger because of it. They consider him an annoyance because he hasn't threatened my life. He *did* make a threat via a phone message a few years ago, that my then 14 year old daughter had to listen to for me, so the police *did* talk to him. He has also followed my stunningly beautiful daughter around. It's crazy that they won't do anything.

The unfortunate part is that all of the evidence that I was gathering was on my old laptop that I lost in Mexico this past August so I am having to start again with gathering evidence of which he provides plenty.:roll:

My boyfriends' sister, and also her boyfriend, are police officers so we are going to try to see what we can do, legally, to get this jerk out of the picture. It's very, very frustrating and such an invasion of my privacy. I live on a cul de sac and where he lives he can see my every coming and going.

There was a woman in Canada who complained something like 23 times to the police about a stalker but it was the same situation. He was just an annoyance. He killed her.
 
rebeccalj said:
I've tried that. The police here even hauled him off of my property about six months ago when he showed up, drunk, at my door insisting that I talk to him but that isn't enough to get a criminal harassment order.

The police tell me that they are too busy with *real* threats of stalking where someone's life is in danger because of it. They consider him an annoyance because he hasn't threatened my life. He *did* make a threat via a phone message a few years ago, that my then 14 year old daughter had to listen to for me, so the police *did* talk to him. He has also followed my stunningly beautiful daughter around. It's crazy that they won't do anything.

The unfortunate part is that all of the evidence that I was gathering was on my old laptop that I lost in Mexico this past August so I am having to start again with gathering evidence of which he provides plenty.:roll:

My boyfriends' sister, and also her boyfriend, are police officers so we are going to try to see what we can do, legally, to get this jerk out of the picture. It's very, very frustrating and such an invasion of my privacy. I live on a cul de sac and where he lives he can see my every coming and going.

There was a woman in Canada who complained something like 23 times to the police about a stalker but it was the same situation. He was just an annoyance. He killed her.
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That's why you document and give to the police. They will take care of it if you provide documentation. Giving the stalker public recognition only empowers him.
 
AlleyCat said:
That's perfect advice. I can't believe he's moved twice to be closer to you, Rebecca. That's downright scary. How is he managing to locate where you've moved to? Get to your police dept. and inform them of this, fast. I had to call the police on my stalker for bombarding me non-stop with emails and text messages. My phone wouldn't stop ringing. They paid him a visit and told him to lay off. He did lay off on the texting, but not the emails. I was just about at the point of a RO when he found some other girl to occupy his interest, so it tapered off for me. I was most happy when that finally stopped.
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We are both involved in hockey for our kids so word gets around plus we worked for the same company for about 18 months. In addition, when I bought my house I used our company security account to get a better deal on it and, what I didn't realize at the time, is that because he was the property management manager for the company all of those security additions go to him. He had his name put on my home security account in case of the alarm going off. :roll: Of course, as soon as I found that out I had it changed to me but I had a heck of a time doing that.

As I mentioned in another post, the police have talked to him and the stalking stopped for a few months and then gifts started showing up at my door. A Christmas card showed up saying, "I bet you didn't expect to hear from me again." Uhm, no, I didn't.

Just last weekend he texted me, "You know I will love you forever and nothing will EVER compare." At 2:48 in the morning! My boyfriend texted him back when we got up and the nutbar texted me just two days ago. He doesn't get the message. I'm worried that matters will come to a head and my boyfriend will end up getting hurt or in trouble.
 
rebeccalj said:
We are both involved in hockey for our kids so word gets around plus we worked for the same company for about 18 months. In addition, when I bought my house I used our company security account to get a better deal on it and, what I didn't realize at the time, is that because he was the property management manager for the company all of those security additions go to him. He had his name put on my home security account in case of the alarm going off. :roll: Of course, as soon as I found that out I had it changed to me but I had a heck of a time doing that.

As I mentioned in another post, the police have talked to him and the stalking stopped for a few months and then gifts started showing up at my door. A Christmas card showed up saying, "I bet you didn't expect to hear from me again." Uhm, no, I didn't.

Just last weekend he texted me, "You know I will love you forever and nothing will EVER compare." At 2:48 in the morning! My boyfriend texted him back when we got up and the nutbar texted me just two days ago. He doesn't get the message. I'm worried that matters will come to a head and my boyfriend will end up getting hurt or in trouble.
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You are in a scary situation, especially when police won't help you. I'm glad you talked to your boyfriend's sister and her boyfriend (since they're both police). Keeping as many people in the loop (especially law enforcement) as possible is good. I only wish I knew what else to say to help. I hope someone else can come into this thread and offer other ideas. I think, while my stalker was a huge annoyance and frustrating, he was just obsessed in a harmless way.
 
Bottesini said:
That's why you document and give to the police. They will take care of it if you provide documentation. Giving the stalker public recognition only empowers him.
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Both of my therapists say otherwise. Most stalkers don't believe they are actually stalking. They will deny it, claiming they are the victims.

Here's a pattern that some of you (myself including) will recognize in a stalker: ".. learn to recognize a stalker. Forget all your preconceptions on what stalkers are like. Most of them actually start out as what appear to be very nice people. They are very friendly, offer to listen a lot, and are always there when you need them. Sounds great? It's an act. Because after a while this changes. If you are busy that may start pouting. Or acting hurt. They often show signs of jealousy (Loss of control over you). They demand more and more of your time, and they expect you to be there waiting for them. They throw tantrums when they don't get their way. Most of us recognize something is wrong, but they are able to manipulate us into feeling that the stalkers unhappiness is our fault. So one of the biggest signs someone is a stalker is when they start trying to make you feel guilty for letting them down. Everything is always your fault and not the stalkers. Eventually, as their control over you gets stronger, they become more confident and begin to test you harder and harder (Stalkers are control freaks). Eventually they push you to where you are forced to rebel (then the stalker gets angry) and they begin a pattern alternating between how everything is your fault (threats) and why are you hurting them (manipulation)."

Sound familiar?

Source: Stalkers - How to make them stop stalking you - KnightsOfKindness
 
deafbajagal said:
Both of my therapists say otherwise. Most stalkers don't believe they are actually stalking. They will deny it, claiming they are the victims.

Here's a pattern that some of you (myself including) will recognize in a stalker: ".. learn to recognize a stalker. Forget all your preconceptions on what stalkers are like. Most of them actually start out as what appear to be very nice people. They are very friendly, offer to listen a lot, and are always there when you need them. Sounds great? It's an act. Because after a while this changes. If you are busy that may start pouting. Or acting hurt. They often show signs of jealousy (Loss of control over you). They demand more and more of your time, and they expect you to be there waiting for them. They throw tantrums when they don't get their way. Most of us recognize something is wrong, but they are able to manipulate us into feeling that the stalkers unhappiness is our fault. So one of the biggest signs someone is a stalker is when they start trying to make you feel guilty for letting them down. Everything is always your fault and not the stalkers. Eventually, as their control over you gets stronger, they become more confident and begin to test you harder and harder (Stalkers are control freaks). Eventually they push you to where you are forced to rebel (then the stalker gets angry) and they begin a pattern alternating between how everything is your fault (threats) and why are you hurting them (manipulation)."

Sound familiar?

Source: Stalkers - How to make them stop stalking you - KnightsOfKindness
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Some characterics stand out the tantrum, letting down, obessive calling, calling my church and calling my kickboxing gym! Yes, crazy I did call the police in his state and in my state it was no help at all! The cops laughed at me no joke! It was on emotional and physical stcressful time in my life. I never did get counseling over this situation, its no fun.
 
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