"Fixing" the child or not?

faire_jour said:
Just speaking in generalities.
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Ok I understand.

Also, same thing for us, deaf/Deaf people who feel like screaming "Stop trying to fix us" when society hears stories like yours and others and tell us why we wont improve ourselves.
 
jillio said:
So, you don't want people to take your actions personally, but you continue to take their actions personally.:roll:
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How is my daughter having an implant something they should take personally? I don't take their choice to have or not have one as a judgement on my choice, why should they?
 
faire_jour said:
I don't use "should" in that post at all........
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Yes you did. You said, "You are the only one saying deafness should written "needs to be" be fixed." I have never said that, and you are adding the word when you read. It changes the whole meaning of my posts. Quite attaching "should" when you read my posts. It causes you to misunderstand.
 
What does bother me is when people start assigning motives to MY choices, or saying that we don't have the right to make the choices, or saying that our choices somehow negativly affect their life.
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I have to comment on the "somehow" part:

In a way it does. To compare... I used to like unusual animals. However that means I am in the fringe minority. Problem is that people like to those critters to pull pranks which enforce the majority's fear of these critters.

I have to fight hard for my friends' rights to keep their pitbulls, snakes, spiders, ferrets, rats and so on just because some high school kid thought it would be funny to pull a prank with a rubber snake-- which causes people to lobby the government. It's a harmless and innocent prank; but it's re-enforces pre-existing prejudices.

What's the point?

Everytime a child gets implanted, people look at them and wonder why the adults are not implanted. They make off-colour comments about our jobs, the dating scene and so on. It's not the fault of the child or the parents, but it still contributing to the societal negativity by re-enforcing their prejudices.
 
faire_jour said:
How is my daughter having an implant something they should take personally? I don't take their choice to have or not have one as a judgement on my choice, why should they?
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How is their saying "Stop trying to fix us" personal? It is meant in the wider sense of the attitude of the hearing word. Not something deaf people go around saying about you and you specifically.:roll: You think it is only you they are thinking of when they say that?
 
shel90 said:
Ok I understand.

Also, same thing for us, deaf/Deaf people who feel like screaming "Stop trying to fix us" when society hears stories like yours and others and tell us why we wont improve ourselves.
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Exactly. FJ is acting like everyone is directing that comment at her and her alone. It is a remark about wider society.
 
jillio said:
How is their saying "Stop trying to fix us" personal? It is meant in the wider sense of the attitude of the hearing word. Not something deaf people go around saying about you and you specifically.:roll: You think it is only you they are thinking of when they say that?
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Maybe we are now getting somewhere....

If some people from the Deaf community tell parents to their faces and say stuff like these " You are fixing your child..you dont accept your child. You are abusive...and etc" then yes, it is a personal insult.

However, if the same people were to say to society in general "Stop trying to fix us..accept us for who we are" then it shoud not be a personal insult...
 
shel90 said:
Maybe we are now getting somewhere....

If some people from the Deaf community tell parents to their faces and say stuff like these " You are fixing your child..you dont accept your child. You are abusive...and etc" then yes, it is a personal insult.

However, if the same people were to say to society in general "Stop trying to fix us..accept us for who we are" then it shoud not be a personal insult...
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Exactly. So stop taking it so personally and getting all bent out of shape. When hearing people have those reactions, it just reinforces the idea that hearing people think deafness needs to be fixed, and that they are the ones that know best for the deaf. It discounts the whole deaf experience. And then they wonder why deaf people get annoyed with them and the way they behave.
 
shel90 said:
Maybe we are now getting somewhere....

If some people from the Deaf community tell parents to their faces and say stuff like these " You are fixing your child..you dont accept your child. You are abusive...and etc" then yes, it is a personal insult.

However, if the same people were to say to society in general "Stop trying to fix us..accept us for who we are" then it shoud not be a personal insult...
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But isn't the whole point of this thread: hearing parents who give their child a CI are trying to fix their child??

It isn't directed at me specifically, but clearly it is aimed at me (and all other parents of CI users)
 
faire_jour said:
I have never ever ever felt attacked or threatened or offended by a Deaf person without a CI, or a parent who chooses not to implant their child, or a parent who chooses not to use ASL, or chooses not to use spoken language. Those are their choices, it has nothing to do with my child. What does bother me is when people start assigning motives to MY choices, or saying that we don't have the right to make the choices, or saying that our choices somehow negativly affect their life.
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More power to you and all other CI users/parents if you aren't offended by it. But others are, which explains a lot of the judgments being thrown around among the Deaf, CI, and hearing communities. When people assign motives to your choices, they're more offended by their idea of who you are than who you really are. So all the less reason to take it personal. Let them hate the warped idea in their mind instead. :)
 
jillio said:
Someone please stop the merry-go-round!
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Hello,
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Joseph_Ducreux_Cease_your_incessant_use_of_thine_telegraph_I_do_not_wish_to_engage_in_mental_ac.jpg

CJB: It is Joseph Ducreux pointing and saying Cease your incessant use of thine telegraph, I do not wish to engage in mental activities at this juncture.
 
faire_jour said:
But isn't the whole point of this thread: hearing parents who give their child a CI are trying to fix their child??

It isn't directed at me specifically, but clearly it is aimed at me (and all other parents of CI users)
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No, it is not...

it is how people told the Deaf community that they are wrong when they say that CIs are fixing the children but when they really arent because surgery involves fixing or correcting a medical problem.
 
shel90 said:
No, it is not...

it is how people told the Deaf community that they are wrong when they say that CIs are fixing the children but when they really arent because surgery involves fixing or correcting a medical problem.
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yes. that's how doctors want to fix or correct it.
 
jillio said:
Exactly. FJ is acting like everyone is directing that comment at her and her alone. It is a remark about wider society.
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Some of the remarks some deaf people get is personal.
 
shel90 said:
No, it is not...

it is how people told the Deaf community that they are wrong when they say that CIs are fixing the children but when they really arent because surgery involves fixing or correcting a medical problem.
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But why don't you accept that it isn't what parents are doing?!?! We keep telling you that we are NOT trying to fix our kids, and people keep saying "Yes youare." We know our choices and our intentions, why do you refuse to hear us?
 
A said:
Some of the remarks some deaf people get is personal.
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But I'm not defending what those people are saying! If a hearing person tells you that you must have a CI to be successful, they are an ass. How much clearer can I say it?

Just because I wanted to give it to my child, does not mean that I think everyone should, or that I think poorly of people who don't.
 
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