Feeling Socially Awkward in the Hearing World

I want to respond to this...there's a lot I want to say...I will come back to this ...too tired right now. Lol
 
Well with family, I've learned you have to tolerate it. I admit it's worse when your living with them such as I am now. Seems like if you didn't live with them, you would not have to deal with it on a daily basis, but rather only when your family came to your house or if you went to your family's house. It would be the same for friends I would think.
 
I've been experiencing this alot lately in high school.

Freshman year: it was okay. People didn't really talk to me as much or bothered trying to get to know me. I was usually the quiet one in the group unless somebody talked to me which rarely happened. I started to grow out of the quiet stage when I built up my confidence in performing with the band. Things weren't so bad freshman year.

Sophmore year: I absolutely hated sophmore year. My section leader constantly yelled at me whenever I couldn't understand him, He even knew little sign. And that little sign was enough for me to understand him to have him sign the instructions to me during practice. I always went home crying when there was really bad miscommunication between us. He used to call me mean names when I was trying to stand up for myself. I couldn't understand conversations very well during lunch breaks, I was always missing out on things. And I just basically gave up on trying to understand them.

Junior Year: Last year, was kind of like freshman year all over again. One of my friends who moved to ohio from california was losing connection with me and only talks to 4 girls. Whenever I try to talk to her she would just nod her head like yeah and just act very...neutral is probably the word for it. She never really tried inviting me over to hang out with her when i told her thousands of time i wanted to hang out with her. She knows sign pretty well, considering her mom used to be a sign language interpreter in California. I ate lunch with maybe 3-4 people. But I felt like I was eating lunch by myself because i couldn't understand them and that they left me out.

Senior Year: my senior year is just beginning. But Its pretty much the same thing as junior year. I just hope it gets better and not worse. This is pretty much why I wanted to go to gallaudet.

But overall, I try to make my friends understand how to communicate with me; which is speaking clearly so i can read lips and signing. They tend to forget that sometimes, but I never really ask much when it comes to communication. And they tend to get mad at me pretty easily or get fustrated with me when I can't understand them. Sometimes it hurts my feelings, but I'd get over it. I'd even talk to my parents about my frustrations too. I'm not trying to be mopey dopey. I'm just voicing out about my feelings with this in my community in ohio.
 
While I still had some hearing, it was not so bad for me. Had issues with understanding people, but still, I got along pretty well. Since losing all the hearing, I am retreating more and more away from social situations. I am having more and more problems understanding people including my family. They are trying, up to a point, but would rather not have to.
 
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lilybear said:
Once again, your situation and mine are really similar. I had to "come out" to my friends and explain the situation plain and simple. I told them that if they didn't try to adjust "I will deliberately avoid you". My 2 best friends just enrolled into an ASL class that we'll take together in the beginning of September. My mom got a cellphone so we can text (huzzah!) and my siblings were born in that era where texting and IM'ing replaced voice calls. I guess I'm pretty lucky, but I did lose some friends and I do experience a lot of disappointment when meeting new people...
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Yay for friends learning ASL!

I have a couple who are working on that as well... One of my friends took a couple semesters, and she is great about making sure I understand not only her, but tries to help me with others too.

Then I have the friends who are pretty sure ASL is just a secret language used to talk about them... or something, I'm not sure what the issue is, but I always get this feeling like I'm doing something awful if Laura tries to sign to me what's going on. Like I'm leaving people out.

Hmm... that also might have more to do with my upbringing, and getting in trouble for signing.
 
Wow...man, i went out at a bar last night and bumped my old hearing friend from High School. She doesn't like me being left out when she was having a conversation with other bar patrons. She knows allright in ABC's fingerspelling and she asked me what to sign for this word and that word. Her sign language skills is just about the same since she was in High School. =) Oh, by the way, it's funny thing to think what she told me last night...that she said that she prefers me to use my voice while i was signing, perhaps because it would help her understand what I was talking about and she said some words I spoke was perfect pronounation and perfect tone. I thought a lot of times that I do have the difficulty in pronouncing a letter "K", "C", and "G".
 
Also the other day after the VESID appointment, i went outside to the parking lot and my mom was waiting by the car, she asked me how was it and I went like "Well, i didn't like that new bitch and she seems not trying to help me finding a fucking job!" My mom shushed me because she said everyone else in the parking lot could hear me since my voice was perfectly clear in the whole sentence!
 
katz4life said:
Also the other day after the VESID appointment, i went outside to the parking lot and my mom was waiting by the car, she asked me how was it and I went like "Well, i didn't like that new bitch and she seems not trying to help me finding a fucking job!" My mom shushed me because she said everyone else in the parking lot could hear me since my voice was perfectly clear in the whole sentence!
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:laugh2: happens all the time for me especially at restaurants.

sorry to hear about job thing but are you also doing anything to make yourself more hire-able?
 
It is tough to be deaf and hearing impaired. I know all about it b/c I am livin' the life. I get so frustrated when I cannot understand sports broadcasters fully. Pisses me off.

Today, K-Mart cashier was saying something to me as I entered the lane. I pointed to my hearing aid as the customer in front of me looked on. The cashier gave me an idea nothing important. She was shocked that I have a voice. She was like a deer in headlights. :lol: I know my life would be so different if I wasnt deaf. I can only live for God.
 
DeafTim said:
It is tough to be deaf and hearing impaired. I know all about it b/c I am livin' the life. I get so frustrated when I cannot understand sports broadcasters fully. Pisses me off.

Today, K-Mart cashier was saying something to me as I entered the lane. I pointed to my hearing aid as the customer in front of me looked on. The cashier gave me an idea nothing important. She was shocked that I have a voice. She was like a deer in headlights. :lol: I know my life would be so different if I wasnt deaf. I can only live for God.
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This is why I have been going more and more "voice off" in public. I don't even have HA's or CI's and they still don't get it.
 
I get that too sometimes, or people looking at me like "wow, you must be really smart if you can talk. But oh, since your hearing is decreasing does that mean you wont be able to talk the same???"

.......... really people?? come on now.

Its just amazing with who actually sticks around you, and who leaves when a life-changing experience happens to you.
 
I truth I am very scared sometimes deaf social because easy anxiey awkward pretty tomorrow :lol: I am feeling nervous lol I know tough !I Hope be calm down peace mind!
 
smithtr said:
I truth I am very scared sometimes deaf social because easy anxiey awkward pretty tomorrow :lol: I am feeling nervous lol I know tough !I Hope be calm down peace mind!
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You do fine!! You wow, amazing!! Strong. Brave.
 
Since learning ASL at 25 years old, I have felt less and less awkward in the hearing world. The reason for it... more confidence in myself as a Deaf person who is just as good as they are.

In social situations, I have been getting a lot better about my anxiety attacks and speaking up about how they can adjust to meet my needs. It has worked pretty well so far.

Damn...every deaf /hoh children NEED ASL and the Deaf community!!! No more oralism/AGBell/SEE, or whatever.
 
KristinaB said:
This is why I have been going more and more "voice off" in public. I don't even have HA's or CI's and they still don't get it.
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Same here. I find that if I talk, people expect me to be able to hear, and even pointing out the HA's and saying "I can't hear you" is lost on them. I'm sick of getting from people "But you talk so well!" while they continue to talk with their mouths covered, etc. With voice off and signing/writing only, cashiers and other folks tend to just want me to move along. It's like they're terrified of the BIG BAD DEAF! :giggle:
 
shel90 said:
Since learning ASL at 25 years old, I have felt less and less awkward in the hearing world. The reason for it... more confidence in myself as a Deaf person who is just as good as they are.

In social situations, I have been getting a lot better about my anxiety attacks and speaking up about how they can adjust to meet my needs. It has worked pretty well so far.

Damn...every deaf /hoh children NEED ASL and the Deaf community!!! No more oralism/AGBell/SEE, or whatever.
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I totally agree with this. I'm 26 now and learning ASL on my own and its hard and I feel overwhelmed at times! But I'm doing my best in practicing. Out of all my local friends, only ONE is wanting to take up ASL. I want to become fluent enough to make it my main language. If my mom had pressed me into taking classes as a child I wouldn't have this issue now.
 
KristinaB said:
This is why I have been going more and more "voice off" in public. I don't even have HA's or CI's and they still don't get it.
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Hmmm, maybe I'll just keep my mouth shut and have a friendly smile on my face. People can see my HA in plain sight b/c my hair is really short. So sick and tired of saying "repeat that" and "excuse me?" Im profound deaf in my right ear and they dont get it,either. So frustrated!!!
 
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