Enough is Enough...

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Steinhauer said:
Ah - the drummer in Rancid is one of my best friends. We have been friends since High School. I taught him some sign a loooong time ago.

(not the current drummer).
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Thats awesome!
 
Steinhauer said:
It kind of makes me wonder .... do "normal" kids ever get picked on?
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I think 'normal' kids are just a fairy tale. All kids see themselves as 'different,' don't they? And they are right.
 
ryancher said:
Because of Tyler, deafness is now part of my life.
As for Tyler, it is his life.

Of course I grieved the loss, and of course I worry about his future... but everyday I thank God for providing me with my children. I know in my heart they were both given to me for a reason. Not only for what I can teach them, but for what they can teach me. I am a lucky mom!
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Yes, yes you are. :hug:
 
blank canvas said:
My daughter is ridiculed by adults every time we go to the store, the library, the doctors office, and even in public restrooms. But she is the most confident, smart little girl anyone will ever meet! And yes she is different but so is everyone else, my youngest who is hearing stands out like crazy but its her personality and shes also as strong and confident as her sister.

Yes I realize things are different for everyone but it doesn't matter if you are Deaf or hearing, black or white ect. ect. everyone is different its what you do with it and how you are raised that matters.
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Then you, and she, will hopefully realize that this will be a regular occurrence into the future. Awesome existence that. :roll: Having hearie people treat you like dumbass your whole life, confident or not. Smart or not. I experience it *EVERYDAY* and I have education and am well respected for my brain and advice. Still, it's there every single day.

Good luck.
 
I was using a relay service to find an automotive part several years ago, and the guy on the other line said "Oh yeah, its a service for retarded people right?" (when the operator was explaining I was using the service because I am HoH).

You just have to "bite your tongue" sometimes and grin and bear it and realize people may not always have malicious intentions, they may just not understand what is going on.

Other times, you have to put your foot down. Especially when dealing with professionals or trying to look for a job.
 
rebeccalj said:
Then you, and she, will hopefully realize that this will be a regular occurrence into the future. Awesome existence that. :roll: Having hearie people treat you like dumbass your whole life, confident or not. Smart or not. I experience it *EVERYDAY* and I have education and am well respected for my brain and advice. Still, it's there every single day.

Good luck.
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With my daughter its more about the appearance of her ears, and yes we both realize this. Her first spoken word was not mommy or daddy it was an attempt to say disgusting a word she had seen and heard over and over, I found her mimicking their facial expression in the mirror trying to say it I corrected her and signed pretty and we continued that every morning and every night in front of the mirror.

She is now the one who stands up for herself and explains to strangers about her ears and tells them she forgives them even thou they do not apologize. She's happy and I hope she will always see herself the way I do.

What I am trying to say what matters is how you feel about yourself and how a person is raised and the confidence you possess. I wouldn't dream of changing my daughter so that life would be 'easier' because its not that simple, people will always find something about someone they don't like, if anything I wish I could change the world for her but thats not going to happen. All I can do is raise her right and I know her confidence will grow as she does.
 
Steinhauer said:
I was using a relay service to find an automotive part several years ago, and the guy on the other line said "Oh yeah, its a service for retarded people right?" (when the operator was explaining I was using the service because I am HoH).

You just have to "bite your tongue" sometimes and grin and bear it and realize people may not always have malicious intentions, they may just not understand what is going on.

Other times, you have to put your foot down. Especially when dealing with professionals or trying to look for a job.
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Or instead of biting your tongue, you can try to educate
 
Steinhauer said:
I was using a relay service to find an automotive part several years ago, and the guy on the other line said "Oh yeah, its a service for retarded people right?" (when the operator was explaining I was using the service because I am HoH).

You just have to "bite your tongue" sometimes and grin and bear it and realize people may not always have malicious intentions, they may just not understand what is going on.

Other times, you have to put your foot down. Especially when dealing with professionals or trying to look for a job.
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I understand what you say but what do *WE* have to bite our tongue?
 
blank canvas said:
With my daughter its more about the appearance of her ears, and yes we both realize this. Her first spoken word was not mommy or daddy it was an attempt to say disgusting a word she had seen and heard over and over, I found her mimicking their facial expression in the mirror trying to say it I corrected her and signed pretty and we continued that every morning and every night in front of the mirror.

She is now the one who stands up for herself and explains to strangers about her ears and tells them she forgives them even thou they do not apologize. She's happy and I hope she will always see herself the way I do.

What I am trying to say what matters is how you feel about yourself and how a person is raised and the confidence you possess. I wouldn't dream of changing my daughter so that life would be 'easier' because its not that simple, people will always find something about someone they don't like, if anything I wish I could change the world for her but thats not going to happen. All I can do is raise her right and I know her confidence will grow as she does.
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I like your outlook ... a lot!

You are preparing her and she learned she is a valuable person ... so valuable, in fact, that she can stand up for herself.

Now THAT is awesome!:wave:
 
Steinhauer said:
I like your outlook ... a lot!

You are preparing her and she learned she is a valuable person ... so valuable, in fact, that she can stand up for herself.

Now THAT is awesome!:wave:
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My girls are AWESOME!! :ty:
 
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rebeccalj said:
Bold part = *so* true

Not wrong to feel that way. I still wait for the PFH reply, that I am supposed to fear, because of my honest reply. :giggle:

What parent out there would willingly want their child to have challenges and be taunted, made fun of because of challenges? We all want our kids to be accepted. This not always happen but we dream for that for our child. Always dream for our child. Always.

Two of my four kids, four that I know of, ha, were supposedly Deaf. Tested and nothing wrong. Just ignore when Mummy speak to them. :laugh2:

I am so, so happy that all four of my babies will not have the same challenge that I have. So happy. Relieved. Frustrated that they don't speak my language but I can handle that part. I speak to them what is in their brain, not in mine.

This is where I hope Beclak chime in with her experience. She have hearie husband and many hearie children. I wonder if her experience is same as mine.
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Every parent wants their child to be 'perfect' and to live in a 'perfect' world. But alas, that is not the case. However, as a parent, because we do not live in a perfect world it is important that we raise and train our children to grow into adults knowing how to face the challenges of life, knowing wisdom in how to deal with diverse situations, and the strength of character to carry themselves through the hard times and make the most of the good times. To see the positive in every situation to overcome the negatives. To know how to pick themselves up when they have been pushed down etc. I have been blessed with 7 children that have no physical challenges. Each and every one of them have their own uniqueness and personality and looks. My children have everything going for them. Yet, as each are growing and are at different stages in life ranging from young adults, teenagers, in between teens, and a 7 year old. They all have their own unique challenges to face in life. Who they are as an individual, how they compare to their siblings etc. Everyone in life faces those questions. No matter what challenges we face in life, we are all unique and different in our own way or we would be all clones and robots! As blankcanvas says: It is what we do with our differences and how we are raised to meet the challenges we face.
 
With my daughter its more about the appearance of her ears,
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Really?!?! Wow.. Just about her EARS?!?! From the way you were talking about her, you made it sound like she has Treacher Collins or another dysmorphia syndrome. I can emphasize, since I have a bit of facial dysmorphia myself.
 
blank canvas said:
With my daughter its more about the appearance of her ears, and yes we both realize this. Her first spoken word was not mommy or daddy it was an attempt to say disgusting a word she had seen and heard over and over, I found her mimicking their facial expression in the mirror trying to say it I corrected her and signed pretty and we continued that every morning and every night in front of the mirror.

She is now the one who stands up for herself and explains to strangers about her ears and tells them she forgives them even thou they do not apologize. She's happy and I hope she will always see herself the way I do.

What I am trying to say what matters is how you feel about yourself and how a person is raised and the confidence you possess. I wouldn't dream of changing my daughter so that life would be 'easier' because its not that simple, people will always find something about someone they don't like, if anything I wish I could change the world for her but thats not going to happen. All I can do is raise her right and I know her confidence will grow as she does.
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:gpost:
 
Steinhauer said:
Well, if I had a kid who was born a punk rocker ... well .... I'd take him/her anyways and try to raise them in a good ol fashion way. I know the other kids would taunt him/her, but, I wouldn't treat my kid any different or give him/her any special treatment.


:giggle:

;)
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I just posted picts of myself with my 13 year old daughter. Everyone says she is beautiful and all that. I think so too but guess what? She gets made fun of cuz of the shape of her face. She got called "quarter-face" by other kids when she was growing up.

Kids will always find something to belittle others.

If it is not deafness, it will be something else. I got bullied for my deafness by being mainstreamed but what I hated was that nobody taught me that being deaf was ok. I was taught that it was a bad thing and that was what enabled my self-esttem to go down the drain after getting bullied because it just continued to reinforce those views that had been imposed on me about my deafness by the stupid adults.
 
Steinhauer said:
It kind of makes me wonder .... do "normal" kids ever get picked on?
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Yes. I was always the only deaf child in my class and also often in the whole school. And there were many other hearing kids / classmates that got picked on more than I did.

Was it an "one way street", that all the hearing kids or classmates automatically had the advantage over I did just cause they could hear and I didn't? Not at all. Cause there were overlaps, with different kids supposedly having different weaknesses or shortcomings to overcome and all.

And sure there may have been times that I was made fun of, but I was right there along with my peers, sometime also picking on others. Playing that "popularity" game, just being a typical kid and all.
 
GrendelQ said:
Eerie, it's like you know me so well. All true, like most, if not all adoptive families, there's no way we are telling Li she was adopted. The whole family is sworn to secrecy, we've burned all of the photos taken in China, forged all of her identification papers. I'll explain that her Asian good looks were typical on Daddy's side -- all those east-side-of-town Jamestown settlers looked exactly like her and she can begin her Colonial Dames of America activities as soon as she's 14. I hope you'll all support us in keeping the whole sordid adoption thing quiet.

And, because we were sooooo old when we applied (30 something years olds can't possibly have bio children), we were pretty desperate and told them we weren't picky, we'd take whatever they had off the shelf. As long as it was newborn, because you know how biological children come with all that baggage (the idea of dealing with my father in law's nose, my dad's tendency to burn in the sun) -- we wanted a clean, fresh one and gave them all the specs and eBay whipped one up for us.

Stop making offensive and ignorant posts about how adoptive parents feel and what motivates them.
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Ma'm, I am very careful not to include ALL of any group when I am making an observation, as THAT would be offensive. Adoption is a subject that I am knowledgeable about, as I have been personally affected by it, and have spent much time studying and researching it from the angles of ALL of the adoption triad - the adoptive parents, the adopted child, and the natural mother. Ignorant about adoption is the last word that could be applied to me, and even if it offends you, I am entitled to my opinion, as you are yours.
 
LoveBlue said:
And it pains me when biological parents will abort/kill their unborn babies because pre-natal testing tells them their child will not be born perfect. And you know there are people out there trying to control the color of their babies eyes, hair, skin, etc. Sheesh, if you want "perfect", get a doll made for you.
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ugh...I know, this is pretty sad. One of my cousins did this, I think she was in the 7th month. The baby was already so big that they actually needed a coffin after the abortion. Why she didn't get the testing sooner, I don't know. Don't even know if testing for what the doctors were looking for was available in the earlier trimesters.
What I do know is that those tests are never 100%, and that many normal children have been born to parents who were told because of these test results that the child would have problems.

Not against abortion, not something I think I could do, but I don't feel I have the right to tell anyone else not to. But this bothered me a lot, to go so far in a pregnancy and then decide to end it, to actually have to name and BURY that baby..very sad.
 
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