Does Society Treat the Blind any different and the Deaf?

I have a blind aunt and I do think that the world views her the same way that they view DHH people. That being said she has also helped to perpetuate the stereotype by refusing to work because of her blindness. She could work but has chose to live on social assistance instead because she found working to hard after she had her children. As family, this was frustrating to watch a perfectly capable person sucomb to the stereotypes.

I went out for coffee with her the other day and what a pair were we! She is blind, I am Deaf...and we were each compensating for each other. We laughed about it a few times. Anyway, that is kind of :topic:
 
Chase said:
I appreciate the how-to posts, as well. I'm like Vampy; I try to accept offered help in the spirit it's given . . . to help.

When I offer what I think is courtesy to anyone -- ie: opening a door for someone, picking up something dropped, taking a cart back to the store from the parking lot -- and that person crabs at me, I just shrug and walk away. Life's too short for putting up with bad manners from anyone no matter how challenged he or she feels.

A funny story. When I met my girlfriend after 3 1/2 years of e-mail and deaf relay phone conversations, I took her to supper and pulled out a chair for her. She immediately assumed I was pulling out the chair for myself and went to another one. So as we left the restaurant, I whispered "Will you let me open the door for you?" She nodded and paused, and we got past that.

But as we got to my car, I went to open the passenger door for her, and she signed, "Want me drive?"

Ha ha ha ha, some ladies make it awfully hard to be a gentleman. We've been going together almost two years, and she still can't get used to Montana cowboy customs. But I haven't given up.

On the other side of the coin, she wants to help me order in restaurants and to deal with store clerks, so I let her. I don't feel dependent or demeaned. I'm just allowing someone kind to practice her brand of being polite.
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I know the feeling.

Nowadays, there are more women who are becoming more insecure about their female identity. No, I'm not talking about being lesbians... but the way they are treated.

I think that by acting this way, they're being close-minded and assuming too much thinking that it's because they're helpless when it's more likely that the guy is just being nice.
 
JennyB said:
I have a blind aunt and I do think that the world views her the same way that they view DHH people. That being said she has also helped to perpetuate the stereotype by refusing to work because of her blindness. She could work but has chose to live on social assistance instead because she found working to hard after she had her children. As family, this was frustrating to watch a perfectly capable person sucomb to the stereotypes.

I went out for coffee with her the other day and what a pair were we! She is blind, I am Deaf...and we were each compensating for each other. We laughed about it a few times. Anyway, that is kind of :topic:
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You reminded me of the movie "Hear No Evil, See No Evil"!:giggle:
 
shel90 said:
I dont think blind people percieve themselves that way.

Yea, I know that the misconception of deaf or hoh people being less than intelligent comes from us missing out what is happening or what is being said. We usually end up with this "huh?" expressions. LOL!

I wonder if there is a forum for blind people. Maybe we should register on such a forum and read about their experiences with the sighted world?
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Shel,

Yes, there are plenty of forums for the blind. Just do a search for "blind," "visually impaired" or "blindness" on Yahoo! Groups.

As someone who was born totally blind, I can say from personal experience that some people have treated me as if I were stupid and helpless. I've also had people shout at me thinking that I was deaf (before I started wearing hearing aids). One person in my apartment complex (who no longer lives here) assumed that all I did during the day was sit in a rocking chair because I couldn't read, travel or watch TV. It's amazing what kind of assumptions are out there. I've had sighted-hearing people talk about how "brave" I am or how amazing it is that I'm in school. I've also had them ask me if someone dresses or takes care of me. Like any disabled person, all I want is to be treated normally. The only difference between me and a sighted-hearing person is the fact that I can't see or hear (without my CIs).
 
flip said:
Ops, I was a bit quick on the keyboard. I didn't mean blind people are helpless, but the society perhaps make that assumption, like deaf people are dumb. Recently, I met a hearing blind man that did know some sign language. The deaf guy next to me, asked, is that man really blind? Prejudices are everywhere.:dunno2:
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I've been asked that question before. One time I was communicating with another deafblind person (Deaf with low vision) while riding the bus. Our conversation was rudely interrupted by a sighted-hearing person who said to me, "There's no way you can be blind. Blind people don't know sign language." After I explained how I used tactile sign, he still didn't seem convinced and replied, "I don't believe you can feel sign language like that." I didn't respond and continued my conversation with the other deafblind passenger. It's too bad this sighted-hearing person didn't learn a lesson about the deafblind, but oh well. People are going to believe what they want to, I guess.
 
jillio said:
I think I may have posted this before, but I was walking across campus with one of my students who happens to be blind not long ago. He uses a service dog, and on our way to where we were going, there were several people who spoke to the dog, but didn't bother to speak to the student. They would pass and say "Hi, Freddie." to the dog, and no "Hi" for the student. I was WTF? There is a person on the other end of that leash, you morons!
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This kind of thing happens to me all the time. Even though I love my guide dog to pieces, there are times I wish people would give me some attention too.

Jillio, it's ironic you should mention there's a person on the other end of the leash because that's exactly what I tell sighted-hearing people who refuse to say "hi" to me instead of my dog.
 
Doug5 said:
I have to admit I feel sorry for the blind. I know the blind doesnt want sympathy just as the deaf dont want sympathy. To me not being able to drive a car has to be a huge hassle. Plus, I really enjoy driving. If I lost my sight thatd be something Id miss.

From the movie Ray, it doesnt look like the blind are treated any better than the deaf. He had to watch out for people cheating him out of his money. For example someone could give him 2 singles and claim its 15 dollars. A one or a twenty doesnt feel any different. Hence he demanded to be paid in dollar bills so he could count his money. He was also excluded from groups because of his blindness. Some might think theyd be stuck looking after him because they assume hes helpless.

I love that movie. It gave me a lot of respect for him. Not just for his muscial abilities, it was his shrewd business sense that really impressed me. You always hear about how musicans are cheated out of their money. With him it was almost the other way around.

Another question worthy of a thread is, how do the differently abled keep from being angry and bitter about bad experiences they have with ignorant "normal" people?
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Yes. For adventitiously blind people, giving up driving is one of the things they struggle with most. When I was in blindness rehab many years ago, I remember an elderly man in his 60s who was losing his sight to macular degeneration. He had to give up his driver's license and in support group, talked about how painful that was for him. For a newly blind person, losing the ability to drive is like losing one's freedom. And even though a blind person can walk, take public transportation or a cab, it means we have to plan ahead and spend twice as long to get to where we're going.

Since I was born totally blind, I've never been bothered by the fact that I need to walk, take public transportation or cabs to get to my destination. The only time I might complain a little is when I'm standing out in the freezing cold, sleet or rain waiting for a bus. I also get upset when cab drivers refuse to take my guide dog.

All in all though, it's something I've learned to accept, so no big deal.

As for sighted-hearing people cheating me with money, knock on wood, that's never happened before. If truth be told, I think most people are honest and wouldn't deliberately cheat a blind person. In my case, I have a vibrating money identifier which vibrates in certain patterns to let me know which denomination is which. I also have a wallet with separate compartments and fold my money in different ways so I can identify each denomination easily.
 
Hear Again said:
I've been asked that question before. One time I was communicating with another deafblind person (Deaf with low vision) while riding the bus. Our conversation was rudely interrupted by a sighted-hearing person who said to me, "There's no way you can be blind. Blind people don't know sign language." After I explained how I used tactile sign, he still didn't seem convinced and replied, "I don't believe you can feel sign language like that." I didn't respond and continued my conversation with the other deafblind passenger. It's too bad this sighted-hearing person didn't learn a lesson about the deafblind, but oh well. People are going to believe what they want to, I guess.
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Some people don't want to learn. Whenever I've aproached people about improving my sign language they seem to think because of my vision it wouldn't be possible. Now I know it is I hope I'll learn sign language after all. Although for me It will also be hard because I'm not a particularly sociable kind of person. I don't meet too many people except on line.
 
It seems that any slight bend from the "norm" that most people collectively agree with is either seen as a disability, a weakness or a reason to be babied and patronized. In 2001, my entire lower spine was fused together due to an advanced form of Spondylosisthesis. The screws, rods, and pieces of my hips still hold it all together. 3 years even before the surgery, I suffered from debilitating spasms, crushing firey pain, inability to walk straight, and about a 60% loss of feeling in my legs. The surgery was a last-ditch effort to keep me walking. So, if you count it all together, that's a good decade (along with the pain I was already in) of being stared at, openly insulted, having doors held WIDE open for me when I have two working hands, hearing my sister's friends ask if I was "gay" because of the way I walked, and constantly having to deal with person after person speaking up like a bomb raid siren every time I went out with my cane and had to stand or sit for a good period of time waiting for something, like my painkillers - "HEY, SIR, THIS GUY OVER HERE HAS BEEN WAITING. HE NEEDS HELP!". When I was younger, I was constantly questioning why people felt it was their appointed duty to make a scene of me. I had just figured it was because, if it "ain't right" to them, they can only cope with it by trying to face it publicly - or because they're dicks - no matter how it makes that person feel.

There's a guy at my campus who has been blind from birth, and he might as well be Willie McTell. The guy can play anything on any sort of guitar-like instrument. He works with a Jazz group on campus. Everyone knows him. Everyone loves him. But he told me once that this aggravates him. Music is who he is, but he confessed to me that he probably wouldn't know what to do with himself otherwise. He figured he didn't have all that many options. Thing is though, he's able to get around this HUGE (well, not so much huge... It's Texas, so it's mainly wide and sparse as hell) college campus with no trouble, and without a cane. I don't understand what it's like to not be able to see, or hear, but I do know he had to learn pretty fast. Despite all of this, though, he still occasionally gets looked down on. Mainly by people who don't know him. But, then, they all love him when he whips out his hollow-body. Go figure.

Funny fact about Ray Charles someone told me: He was asked once how he managed to cross the street in confusing, bustling New York, and he told the guy that he would just wait until a group of women stopped at the crosswalk. They would all be talking and laughing together, and he would just cross when they did - "Who's gonna hit a group of women?". I thought that was great.

Society can be harsh and dangerously ignorant more often than not. I don't think it really even has anything to do specifically with being unable to see or hear, or even walk. Everyone has an opinion, and if someone feels there's something wrong with you, it's rare to see him/her/them not express it, obviously or not. And there isn't anyone who doesn't find some fault in someone for something. I just see it as different degrees of prejudice. The ones who are under the most pressure seem to have to learn more quickly than others.
 
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VamPyroX said:
I would guess that blind people are treated better than deaf people since blindness is more obvious than deafness.

If a person is walking towards the front door with a cane, people are more likely to see that and quickly open the door for this person.

Either way, I think the need for help varies on the individual.

I've seen some handicapped people snap back because they don't like being treated like they are handicapped. But when they aren't helped, they snap back saying that they are handicapped and need to be helped.

It's like seeing a person in a wheelchair and a person standing next to him. I could walk up to both of them, but I ask the guy standing up if he wants to play basketball. I see the guy in the wheelchair and assume that he can't play. So, I don't ask him. However, the guy in the wheelchair snaps back at me saying... "Excuse me!? Aren't you going to ask me? Just because I'm in a wheelchair doesn't mean I can't play! Jeez!"

However, suppose I do decide to be respectful. So, I ask both of them if they want to play basketball. Yet, the guy in the wheelchair snaps back at me saying... "Excuse me!? Look at me! I'm in a wheelchair. How the hell do you expect me to play!?"

There's no satisfying anyone. :(
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This is pretty much how us hearies tend to feel about the anger thrown at us by someone who tugs their ear or tells us they're deaf when we ask them a question. I understand to as much as I can about how frustrating and disheartening it can be to be told "nevermind" or to see people constantly freezing up, but you can't read someone's mind. I've had a Deaf person ask me to repeat something before. I did, and there was no problem. But I've also had someone tug on his ear when I asked him a question. I repeated my question and he tugged on his ear harder and yelled "I'M DEAF!".

This sort of helped me come to terms with how people always felt they had to help me when I looked even slightly warbled in my walk, or had a cane when getting on the bus. Really, what're ya gonna do?
 
VamPyroX said:
.... While I may be a minority (part of a deaf population), I know not to jump the gun and get to harsh with hearing people when they make mistakes involving my deafness.
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You have a lot more patience than I do. I admit I'm quick to "snap" (but not in a HUGE way) when someone makes a stupid comment or other "mistakes" about my being deaf. I attest that to being defensive over all the bullying I experienced growing up, I guess it's just ingrained in me. Not long ago I was at a bar with my boyfriend and a guy sitting across from us was commenting on me being "deaf and dumb" to a friend of his. My boyfriend overheard that and told me what that guy just said, so I spoke loudly "where does the 'dumb' come from, because clearly I'm NOT dumb!" and I looked right at him when I said it - I didn't say it in a nice voice either. He shut up after that ... I'm not afraid to be outspoken when I feel like I need to be.

jillio said:
You reminded me of the movie "Hear No Evil, See No Evil"!:giggle:
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I don't think I've seen that movie. Is it good? What's it about?
 
Kaplin said:
There's a guy at my campus who has been blind from birth, and he might as well be Willie McTell. The guy can play anything on any sort of guitar-like instrument. He works with a Jazz group on campus. Everyone knows him. Everyone loves him. But he told me once that this aggravates him. Music is who he is, but he confessed to me that he probably wouldn't know what to do with himself otherwise. He figured he didn't have all that many options. Thing is though, he's able to get around this HUGE (well, not so much huge... It's Texas, so it's mainly wide and sparse as hell) college campus with no trouble, and without a cane. I don't understand what it's like to not be able to see, or hear, but I do know he had to learn pretty fast. Despite all of this, though, he still occasionally gets looked down on. Mainly by people who don't know him. But, then, they all love him when he whips out his hollow-body. Go figure.

Funny fact about Ray Charles someone told me: He was asked once how he managed to cross the street in confusing, bustling New York, and he told the guy that he would just wait until a group of women stopped at the crosswalk. They would all be talking and laughing together, and he would just cross when they did - "Who's gonna hit a group of women?". I thought that was great.
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Out of curiosity, is the person you know on campus totally blind? If so, IMO, he's taking a huge risk not using a cane. (For example, how does he cross streets on campus safely?) Does he use a sighted guide?

I'm totally blind and attend the second largest campus in my state (a campus of 33,000 students) which extends over a 6 block radius and there's absolutely *no* way I would be caught traveling without a cane. JMO.

As for Ray Charles, I couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or not. If he indeed crosses the street by following a group of people, I pray to G*d that he doesn't end up as roadkill since it's not uncommon for sighted people (yes, even women) to cross the street when the light is red or yellow. Thanks, but I think I'll use my own judgement when crossing the street.
 
AlleyCat said:
I don't think I've seen that movie. Is it good? What's it about?
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Hear No Evil, See No Evil (1989) is a hilarious movie starring Richard Pryor and Gene Wilder.

A man is murdered and two men (Richard Pryor who plays a blind man and Gene Wilder who plays a deaf man) witness it. Richard Pryor, who's blind, hears the killer while Gene Wilder, who's deaf, sees her.

The police don't think either of them are credible witnesses. Throughout the movie, Richard and Gene work together to bring the killer to justice.
 
Kaplin said:
It's Texas, so it's mainly wide and sparse as hell) college campus with no trouble, and without a cane. I don't understand what it's like to not be able to see, or hear, but I do know he had to learn pretty fast. Despite all of this, though, he still occasionally gets looked down on.
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The idea that him 'getting around without a cane' is obviously seen as an accomplishment really, really irks me. It's on the line of saying "deaf children can get by with just their residual hearing- they don't really need sign or speechreading"- except in this case, he's putting himself in danger. A person who is blind is a person who is blind, totally blind or not. And we need canes. Because canes mean safety, identification especially at streets, and an overall sense of self-acceptance and independence. There is nothing to be proud of by not using a cane.

Re the comment about following pedestrians: pedestrians DO cross when it's not their signal. When I lived in chicago, they did this more often than they walked on their correct signal. That is a fact, and not accepting that and judging for yourself when it is safe to cross.. is asking to become roadkill. Because blind people HAVE died when they crossed with the assurance of pedestrians or motorists.
 
Aleser said:
The idea that him 'getting around without a cane' is obviously seen as an accomplishment really, really irks me. It's on the line of saying "deaf children can get by with just their residual hearing- they don't really need sign or speechreading"- except in this case, he's putting himself in danger. A person who is blind is a person who is blind, totally blind or not. And we need canes. Because canes mean safety, identification especially at streets, and an overall sense of self-acceptance and independence. There is nothing to be proud of by not using a cane.

Re the comment about following pedestrians: pedestrians DO cross when it's not their signal. When I lived in chicago, they did this more often than they walked on their correct signal. That is a fact, and not accepting that and judging for yourself when it is safe to cross.. is asking to become roadkill. Because blind people HAVE died when they crossed with the assurance of pedestrians or motorists.
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:gpost::gpost:
 
Yes Aleser, thank you so much for saying this.

This is where I do get nervous about crossing streets because I do "depend" on my fellow pedestrians as I can't see the Stop/Go.

Few times I'm grabbed by other people and not realising that it's the "roadkill walkers" risking others.

Great thread! :)
 
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