Does anyone else feel like their life was ruined by mainstream school

rebeccalj said:
And, on top of moving to a new school, you would have had to 're-learn' the lips of the teachers because every hearie annunciates differently. Crazy! WHO DOES THAT TO A deaf CHILD??!!!
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THIS!
Every time my parents plans to send to a teacher for tutoring me and i tried to reject the plans...because it is frustrating to lipread a new teacher lips. For me home tuition is worse than a classroom. ALAS! I was forced to go through it.*sigh*
 
Does anyone else feel like their life was ruined by mainstream school
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HELL YES

As an adult i have pick up the pieces and build a life that has no links to my childhood
 
The question is....where does the mentality that the mainstream is best come from anyway? I really think its a fossil from the old days, when Deaf Schools weren't that great. I also think a lot of it are schools using dhh kids as cash cows. Seriously, kids with disabilties come with money. If they didn't, trust me, dhh kids, blind/low vision kids, mentally disabled kids and other kids would just be told to attend their state deaf/blind/mentally handicapped/phyiscally disabled school.....it's all about money.
 
Jiro said:
My life wasn't ruined by mainstream schools. I was in mainstream schools all my life. I've had good times. Teachers were great. My childhood life was pretty good.

Bad Part? I felt left out or felt like a third wheel even though I was involved in many activities and friend gatherings because I don't know what they were saying. I can't keep up.

Few years ago - I learned ASL and met many deaf people. Could not believe how much I was missing out in group social conversations. Now I know what people are really talking about and my life just got more interesting :)
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This is more like my own experience. I was mainstreamed and I can't say that it was bad. I just wish that I knew deaf/hoh people when I was growing up. I just wish I had learn ASL and had been involved in the Deaf community growing up. It would have made things a lot less lonely.

I just recently connected with the local Deaf community so I hope that life will become a lot more interesting as well. :)
 
I think those of us who are objecting to the mainstream, do so b/c no matter how you paint it, the mainstream is too one size fits all. Some kids can have an awesome experiance in the mainstream, but they're either really smart, and can thus benifit more from a minimal accomondations approach or they may have gone to a school that was diverse or had lots of experiance with educating dhh kids.
I don't think anyone is saying " Oh send today's Deaf little kids to res school."
Mainstream sucks." We're saying that solotairing it in a school that doesn't have a formal sizable dhh program or even much experiance with dhh kids. I do think MANY MANY posters here would have really thrived in one of those dhh programs or a dhh magnet school. Those types of set ups can be really good for hoh style kids.
 
Going to mainstream school made stronger and I learned not care if people did not like me. It taught me if I wanted anything for myself not to relies other to do it for me. The only person that was going to look out for me was myself! I been very good at standing up for myself and speaking my mind. I hated going to school but I learned really fast people where not going to go out of their way to made thing easy for me because I was HOH.
 
whatdidyousay! said:
Going to mainstream school made stronger and I learned not care if people did not like me. It taught me if I wanted anything for myself not to relies other to do it for me. The only person that was going to look out for me was myself! I been very good at standing up for myself and speaking my mind. I hated going to school but I learned really fast people where not going to go out of their way to made thing easy for me because I was HOH.
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I got all that from my Deaf school... Not from my mainstreamed schools
 
whatdidyousay! said:
Going to mainstream school made stronger and I learned not care if people did not like me. It taught me if I wanted anything for myself not to relies other to do it for me. The only person that was going to look out for me was myself! I been very good at standing up for myself and speaking my mind. I hated going to school but I learned really fast people where not going to go out of their way to made thing easy for me because I was HOH.
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warpedpink said:
I got all that from my Deaf school... Not from my mainstreamed schools
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Seriously? I thought you liked the Deaf school and found acceptance there.
 
deafdyke said:
I think those of us who are objecting to the mainstream, do so b/c no matter how you paint it, the mainstream is too one size fits all. Some kids can have an awesome experiance in the mainstream, but they're either really smart, and can thus benifit more from a minimal accomondations approach or they may have gone to a school that was diverse or had lots of experiance with educating dhh kids.
I don't think anyone is saying " Oh send today's Deaf little kids to res school."
Mainstream sucks." We're saying that solotairing it in a school that doesn't have a formal sizable dhh program or even much experiance with dhh kids. I do think MANY MANY posters here would have really thrived in one of those dhh programs or a dhh magnet school. Those types of set ups can be really good for hoh style kids.
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I think like minded? individuals congregate together. It is possible that the reason there are so many of us 'horrible mainstream experience' here is that we have found fellow deafies who understand our experience and that's what we are all searching for. Someone who *gets* us. Many, many of us *GET* each other here.

I would *NEVER* do mainstream again if I am allowed to choose. I would go for ASL/deaf school a thousand times over I would.

I should qualify that mainstream wasn't horribly awful for me because I was athlete, dancer, student council and head cheerleader. The fact that I went to mainstream gave me sense of knowing I could do anything and I did. It wasn't so much to 'fit' in with hearies, maybe it was, but I don't remember thinking that way. For me, it was survival of the fittest and I was going to survive.
 
rebeccalj said:
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I would *NEVER* do mainstream again if I am allowed to choose. I would go for ASL/deaf school a thousand times over I would.

I should qualify that mainstream wasn't horribly awful for me because I was athlete, dancer, student council and head cheerleader. The fact that I went to mainstream gave me sense of knowing I could do anything and I did. It wasn't so much to 'fit' in with hearies, maybe it was, but I don't remember thinking that way. For me, it was survival of the fittest and I was going to survive.
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Wow.......To any lurkers out there, this REALLY says something. rebeccalj is a high achiever type and STILL found the mainstream hell. So did bajagirl.
I really think a lot of parents opt for mainstreaming and oral only b/c they think that their kid will be like the kids profiled in Volta Voices. meaning super high achioevers, who go off to Name Brand College.But I do have to say that I think that the experts and teachers who push mainstreaming are really out of touch with what a typical school experiance is actually LIKE. They seem to push this fanasty that all mainstreamed dhh kids will experiance a typical suburban educational experiance, and will have friends and no real issues.
Unfortunatly the reality doesn't match up with that fanasty.
 
I ruin my school because bully reason stupid not fair because hearing not respectful I knew many of them crazy stupid on people I am not happy because observed it people negative hates me I ruin my school I was upset, because people tattle on teacher , I am innocent,, I told teacher don't listen! not funny!
 
deafdyke said:
Wow.......To any lurkers out there, this REALLY says something. rebeccalj is a high achiever type and STILL found the mainstream hell. So did bajagirl.
I really think a lot of parents opt for mainstreaming and oral only b/c they think that their kid will be like the kids profiled in Volta Voices. meaning super high achioevers, who go off to Name Brand College.But I do have to say that I think that the experts and teachers who push mainstreaming are really out of touch with what a typical school experiance is actually LIKE. They seem to push this fanasty that all mainstreamed dhh kids will experiance a typical suburban educational experiance, and will have friends and no real issues.
Unfortunatly the reality doesn't match up with that fanasty.
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So true. In my case my social life wasn't too bad because, as I got older, and gained confidence, I participate more in group activities at school. When I say social life I don't mean lots and lots of friends because I only had 1-2 close friends all through school. I just mean social experience.

But, I *wasn't* at school for a social life. I was supposed to be there to learn. My desire to interact and communicate was *SO* strong, and could not be met in the classroom, so I made up for it in other activities offered at school. I compensated. :giggle: I had a sense of needing to belong somewhere, even back then, yet knowing, all along, that I never did no matter *how* involved I was (at school). In other words, I *knew* I was different. Felt I was different. It was like I say in another thread that I was looking for *my* people.

I hated the classroom (except for grade 3). I spent the entire day trying to understand what teacher is saying. Translating words in my head all the time. Then, re-reading lessons when I am come home so I could try to understand what was being taught. Want to do good in school and make parents proud that I'm not 'stupid' or 'handicapped.' Want them to not give me away again. It was like going to school twice each day. It was very tiring and even worse when I go to high school and have 5-6 different teachers to lip read each day.

I imagine, sometimes, how wonderful my educational experience would have been had I been educated with *my* people instead of someone elses.
 
Another thing that I absolutly HATED....and I mean HATED was the fact that I was lumped in with the really dumb kids in the Resource Room. NOT the kids who actually had ADD or who had actual learning problems....but the kids who were there simply b/c it was a dumping ground. I was the ONLY kid who did not belong in the Resource Room....Had I had the proper supports. Meaning teachers who had been trained to teach someone like me, rather then just fifteen mintues on dhh ed, I would prolly have ended up at a decent college,(ie maybe even Smith or Harvard)
If the lurkers out there think I was one of those kids who just didn't have the proper early intervention.....I taught myself to read at three/four. (right after I got my hearing aids) AND took not one but TWO languages in high school. Yet I got lumped in with the kids whose only problem was that they had a brain, but refused to use it. (and before I'm attacked, I have a lot of friends who are sped teachers, and they acknowledge that while there are quite a few kids with obvious issues, there's still a lot of kids whose ONLY problem is that they don't use their brain!
 
rebeccalj said:
So true. In my case my social life wasn't too bad because, as I got older, and gained confidence, I participate more in group activities at school. When I say social life I don't mean lots and lots of friends because I only had 1-2 close friends all through school. I just mean social experience.

But, I *wasn't* at school for a social life. I was supposed to be there to learn. My desire to interact and communicate was *SO* strong, and could not be met in the classroom, so I made up for it in other activities offered at school. I compensated. :giggle: I had a sense of needing to belong somewhere, even back then, yet knowing, all along, that I never did no matter *how* involved I was (at school). In other words, I *knew* I was different. Felt I was different. It was like I say in another thread that I was looking for *my* people.

I hated the classroom (except for grade 3). I spent the entire day trying to understand what teacher is saying. Translating words in my head all the time. Then, re-reading lessons when I am come home so I could try to understand what was being taught. Want to do good in school and make parents proud that I'm not 'stupid' or 'handicapped.' Want them to not give me away again. It was like going to school twice each day. It was very tiring and even worse when I go to high school and have 5-6 different teachers to lip read each day.

I imagine, sometimes, how wonderful my educational experience would have been had I been educated with *my* people instead of someone elses.
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I know......I never had to go through the pre and post teaching stuff....but god, I was working SO hard that I didn't have time to concentrate on producing CONTENT. It's exactly like the way I acted out b/c I had to manually write stuff (especially in cursive) . I have mild hypotonia. Although I CAN write and appreciate the skill, it would have made so much more sense for me, to have both manual writing abilty and the abilty to type.
And yes, I wonder a lot what my educational experiance would have been like if I'd been in a dhh program, or sent to Clarke or had gone to American School or TLC.
 
deafdyke said:
Another thing that I absolutly HATED....and I mean HATED was the fact that I was lumped in with the really dumb kids in the Resource Room. NOT the kids who actually had ADD or who had actual learning problems....but the kids who were there simply b/c it was a dumping ground. I was the ONLY kid who did not belong in the Resource Room....Had I had the proper supports. Meaning teachers who had been trained to teach someone like me, rather then just fifteen mintues on dhh ed, I would prolly have ended up at a decent college,(ie maybe even Smith or Harvard)
If the lurkers out there think I was one of those kids who just didn't have the proper early intervention.....I taught myself to read at three/four. (right after I got my hearing aids) AND took not one but TWO languages in high school. Yet I got lumped in with the kids whose only problem was that they had a brain, but refused to use it. (and before I'm attacked, I have a lot of friends who are sped teachers, and they acknowledge that while there are quite a few kids with obvious issues, there's still a lot of kids whose ONLY problem is that they don't use their brain!
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Geez, that makes me angry!

I remember going to some kind of learning class for special education students in elementary school. I think I piss teachers off because they dump me back to hearie teacher. I, uh, was pretty opinionated and stubborn back then and, like Shel, knew how to sabotage what I didn't want. :giggle:

Similar thing happen with piano teacher. My mother want me to learn to play like 'perfect' older hearie sister. I had 3 lessons and watch teacher yell to my mother that I will never learn. Fact was, I already knew a lot of piano from watching sister practise and she was teaching me boring baby lessons. So, I get kicked out of piano. Teacher make me mad so I teach myself to play better than older sister.:giggle:

Somewhere, along the line, my motto became, "Tell me I can't do something and I will prove to you that I can."
 
deafdyke said:
I know......I never had to go through the pre and post teaching stuff....but god, I was working SO hard that I didn't have time to concentrate on producing CONTENT. It's exactly like the way I acted out b/c I had to manually write stuff (especially in cursive) . I have mild hypotonia. Although I CAN write and appreciate the skill, it would have made so much more sense for me, to have both manual writing abilty and the abilty to type.
And yes, I wonder a lot what my educational experiance would have been like if I'd been in a dhh program, or sent to Clarke or had gone to American School or TLC.
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Content! Yes! Everything done *SO* fast, because learning take so long, that there was no content to my work. It is different now because I can take time, think, re-read, but not when a child. Children have deadlines from the teacher. Hearing teacher deadlines are not good for oral deaf child.

I'm glad when I grow up because I feel like I can finally relax. Breathe. School always seem like one panic deadline to the next. Surprised I didn't have ulcer.:roll:
 
rebeccalj said:
Content! Yes! Everything done *SO* fast, because learning take so long, that there was no content to my work. It is different now because I can take time, think, re-read, but not when a child. Children have deadlines from the teacher. Hearing teacher deadlines are not good for oral deaf child.

I'm glad when I grow up because I feel like I can finally relax. Breathe. School always seem like one panic deadline to the next. Surprised I didn't have ulcer.:roll:
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i know.....me too...and right now in UNI...im developing one...urgh ack ack ... just tooo much but NOPE im not giving up, i got a lot to fight for
 
I was, very unfortunately, mainstreamed my whole life (from Kindergarten through college). I say this even though, at the time, I had only mild to moderate hearing loss. Some people would say I was an oral success, but I would strongly disagree. Yes, academically I did very well (salutatorian of my high school graduating class, but only because my twin sister beat me and was valedictorian, and was honored with membership with Psi Chi, the international honor society in Psychology - my major in college). I had my twin to study with, which helped, and all I did was read and read and read and read. I did all of the work.

I still have many flashbacks from each grade: Kindergarten, 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th, 11th, and 12th grade. I NEVER paid attention to the teachers or other students participating in class (even with only having mild to moderate hearing loss that was aided by BTE hearing aids); there was no point as I could not hear/understand them even with the hearing aids supposedly fitted to my hearing loss (I had CART in college so I was able to at least follow along and not just have to rely solely on reading and studying). In fact, we had a ceremony during my 8th grade graduation. During that ceremony, the prinicipal would joking make comments about our time there. He would pretend that he was passing along the graduating class's traits to the 7th grade class. For me, he said he was passing on my abililty to "get good grades while never being on the same page as everyone else in class"! :roll: It was a joke to them! :shock:

I had NO friends in elementary or high school as no one would socialize with me other than my sister. Communication was just too important to socializing that I was, therefore, automatically excluded. I was severly depressed (I even went to the principal and cried and asked why I felt that the school wasn't for me :shock:) and even suicidal :eek3: as I reached my teenage and then college years. I was so socially withdrawn that when I went to college, I still couldn't make friends with the other deaf/hh students. My first real friend I made finally in 2010 when I was 27 years old. :aw:

Everyone tells me that my speech is perfect :roll: (thanks to years of speech therapy) and that depresses me even more, because they expect me to follow along and get frustrated when I can't and dare to ask for them to repeat. BTW, I hate the word "nevermind" :mad:!!! As a coping mechanism and trying to get some semblance of socializing with other people, I learned to just nod my head and smile.

I was very ignorant about deafness and what was out there. I thought all the rest of the world was hearing and I was the only deaf/hh person. :shock: I did not know that there was anything other than hearing aids and speech therapist to accomodate me. :shock: I did not know about deaf schools. :shock: I did not know about ASL (and interpreters) and Deaf Culture. :shock: All I knew is that I felt held back both intellectually (I did well, but I feel I could have gone so much further) and socially. Finally, in college, my eyes started to open, but by then I felt that I couldn't join that other world, as if it was too late for me. It wasn't until three months ago, when I met a deaf co-worker, that I felt that I could join that world. Now I am not going to allow anyone to stop me from being a part of that world or stop me from seeking happiness and peace with myself and my past. :deaf:
 
DeafRaptor said:
I had NO friends in elementary or high school as no one would socialize with me other than my sister. Communication was just too important to socializing that I was, therefore, automatically excluded. I was severly depressed (I even went to the principal and cried and asked why I felt that the school wasn't for me :shock:) and even suicidal :eek3: as I reached my teenage and then college years. I was so socially withdrawn that when I went to college, I still couldn't make friends with the other deaf/hh students. My first real friend I made finally in 2010 when I was 27 years old. :aw:

.

I was very ignorant about deafness and what was out there. I thought all the rest of the world was hearing and I was the only deaf/hh person. :shock: I did not know that there was anything other than hearing aids and speech therapist to accomodate me. :shock: I did not know about deaf schools. :shock: I did not know about ASL (and interpreters) and Deaf Culture. :shock: All I knew is that I felt held back both intellectually (I did well, but I feel I could have gone so much further) and socially. Finally, in college, my eyes started to open, but by then I felt that I couldn't join that other world, as if it was too late for me. It wasn't until three months ago, when I met a deaf co-worker, that I felt that I could join that world. Now I am not going to allow anyone to stop me from being a part of that world or stop me from seeking happiness and peace with myself and my past. :deaf:
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OMG, I wish you were around here. I also had a really tough time socially .....I didn't make my first real friend until I was fourteen.....and that was only b/c I went to an AMAZING hearing camp. God, I wish so badly the inclusionists would get a fucking CLUE!
 
Thanks deafdyke. It is very comforting knowing that, while I may have had bad experiences (that I wouldn't wish on anyone) because of how people reacted to my deafness, (even though I thought so at one time) I am not alone.

One other thing I wanted to mention. Even letting go of the frustration that mainstreaming brought me, what really frustrates me was that I was mainstreamed at a small religious elementary and high school (my graduating class in high school had 12 people and 2 of those were my sister and me). It was a small school that had never had a deaf or hoh student in its entire history and as far as I know hasn't had one since and did not have any teachers who had been trained/educated in educating children with deafness or even special ed in general, but the school was somehow going to provide me what I needed to learn. All I got was hearing aids and an occasional interruption during class for speech therapy. Even though I was at a small school with a larger teacher to student ratio than most schools, I never had any individual help/instruction from the teachers. What were they seriously thinking? Were they praying that I would learn the same as the other students and relying solely on a miracle from God rather than on the knowledge and skills God gave them and the rest of mankind so we can better ourselves (ie knowledge and skills that formed the language of ASL, deaf Ed, anything else, etc)?

One other thing that I am curious about. I was able to read and study enough to do well in school, but I feel like I only retained some of the most basic of knowledge and not all of that (I still don't know left from right). It felt like I couldn't hold onto any of that knowledge past that semester (I had reached the capacity of my memory or something). Whatever was needed for the next course was basically taught again, so it was hard to know for sure. Has anyone else experienced this, do hearing people that are paying attention in school and in a proper setting retain more of this knowledge, or am I only thinking that I should know/remember more than I do?
 
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