Do you think about your mortality?

jillio said:
Can't you?

Anything to contribute to the thread?
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I could ask you the same but I don't put myself in position of moderator or thread police.
 
This cremation business is quite fascinating. How about ashes into beads?

Ashes to beads: South Koreans try new way to mourn

Original link is dead...a cached version is available.

My mother-in-law ashes is currently sitting in my father-in-law's house. She died on my wife's birthday (long illness..expected to die, so no worry). We'll do the traditional thing and dump her ashes at Lake Union (Seattle) on my FIL's best friend's yacht with our immediately family members and close friends as our last memorial and remembrance. It won't happen until about June when the weather has warmed up. This will be my first ash ceremony. All my relatives were buried in coffins. Time is changing. I think cremation is the best and most logical thing to do. JMHO.
 
Here is my contribution to this thread:

Reba has eternal, everlasting life. And I'm sure she would be happy to share the way and the truth for any AD member to also have the same.
 
Lady across the street has a beautiful rose garden bordered with tiles that are hand decorated by her children (when they were young) and her grand children. This rose garden has the ashes from her 2 husbands, son, grand daughter and parents. She will also be buried there when she is gone.

My hubby never believed in cremation, but is rethinking things. My father was cremated and scattered in the ocean. Mom wants to go the same way, but with new restrictions here in our county, we may just have her ashes in with a pot of roses. If we do that, it will be the "Phyllis" rose as that is her name and her favorite rose. It is a deep red which is her favorite color.
 
I never used to like the idea of cremation either, but I've been re-thinking that. There is an outfit that arranges for cremated remains to go toward building a living reef out in the ocean to provide a home for various sea critters. I like that idea very much.

My brother's cremated remains were partly spread in the sea (he actually lived on his boat), part distributed by air (he was a pilot), and what was left was buried.

That kind of freaked me out, actually, having his bits and pieces scattered around earth and sea in at least 3 different places, but that was specifically what he wanted.

I'm ok with it now (this was all many years ago). It did get me thinking about why we need a specific place to mourn. I still like having a specific place more than just being tossed to the winds (or the currents of the sea), but I can understand why what he wanted was meaningful to him.

It was very hard on my mom, though, going through the equivalent of 4 funeral services for him: the main funeral, the ashes at sea (we were all on a conference call for that), ashes in the air (another conference call), and finally the burial. That was a lot for her to endure.
 
I think about my physical mortality every day. That is why I get down on my knees.
 
I've already covered this.....I am being stuffed. Also, I don't worry about death, I already met it once and I won. I figure worst case scenario I end up .500
 
I just finished writing a letter to my friend and co-worker. I haven't decided what to do with it yet, but I am thinking of either placing it his casket (not sure if that is appropriate) or placing in some flowers or perhaps even having a small burning ceremony of my own to burn the letter.

From my letter:
You were not only a friend but my mentor. I learned to step back and consider the bigger picture. I will be honest with you, I am still working on doing that. There was a time when I wanted to be just like you. You pushed me to make my own place here. It took a long time but I finally realized that one of you is way more than enough in this world. I did find my way and I have you to thank for that. I have much more to learn and I will miss your counsel. There was a sign in your office "Performance Consoulting 11~12". I guess you finally get your very own performance consulting. Thank you for being you.

God speed my friend, God speed...
 
mortality of the self and immortality of what symbolise the self is entirely different, (so called who will remember you?) that famous person(s) are what people as 'remembers you' it is more like 'what they remember of your contribution of said-society, or actually, rather what society made him or her"....so the symbolic factor is not personfied, it is a form of an intangible societal artefact, in which its purpose is to immortalise the human race, against nature of nature AND against nature of human race itself. (Inheriently human race by large are enslaved to one another as per a kind of mutual reciproality.
Havng said all this, I still stand by the notion that not enough REAL discussion or rather, REAL understanding of mortality...and that is final. Secret is, there is no secret, just as nature shows us, trees leaves falls and after that, trees stands higher, but these still dies...nothing escape.
i hope this post doesnt reignite the stupid senseless wuffle about family tombstones, who will remember you. that is so.....unimpressive....

we have to remember one another as miuch as we can for the passed-by have a way of teaching us how to live just by dying....how ironic is that?
much so!
 
Dear friend.....

Cheetah said:
I just finished writing a letter to my friend and co-worker. I haven't decided what to do with it yet, but I am thinking of either placing it his casket (not sure if that is appropriate) or placing in some flowers or perhaps even having a small burning ceremony of my own to burn the letter.

From my letter:
You were not only a friend but my mentor. I learned to step back and consider the bigger picture. I will be honest with you, I am still working on doing that. There was a time when I wanted to be just like you. You pushed me to make my own place here. It took a long time but I finally realized that one of you is way more than enough in this world. I did find my way and I have you to thank for that. I have much more to learn and I will miss your counsel. There was a sign in your office "Performance Consoulting 11~12". I guess you finally get your very own performance consulting. Thank you for being you.

God speed my friend, God speed...
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What a beautiful letter. I hope I have an impact on someone's life, who will take the time to write a letter when I pass. Maybe someone in his family would like to know how you felt about him. Just a thought. What an honor to be loved so much!! God bless you Cheetah.:angel:
 
I used think this almost every day...there have been two, three times I certain I will die that day. Last time, I felt ready go. Obviously, I not die, and now that I not with Dallas, I not think about dying like ever. Hmm.
 
Good for you!!!

Sunshine said:
I used think this almost every day...there have been two, three times I certain I will die that day. Last time, I felt ready go. Obviously, I not die, and now that I not with Dallas, I not think about dying like ever. Hmm.
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Good for you Sunny!! You deserve someone who appreciates you. Especially someone that enjoys your sense of humor. Pizza, really!!!:angel:
 
Cheetah said:
I just finished writing a letter to my friend and co-worker. I haven't decided what to do with it yet, but I am thinking of either placing it his casket (not sure if that is appropriate) or placing in some flowers or perhaps even having a small burning ceremony of my own to burn the letter.

From my letter:
You were not only a friend but my mentor. I learned to step back and consider the bigger picture. I will be honest with you, I am still working on doing that. There was a time when I wanted to be just like you. You pushed me to make my own place here. It took a long time but I finally realized that one of you is way more than enough in this world. I did find my way and I have you to thank for that. I have much more to learn and I will miss your counsel. There was a sign in your office "Performance Consoulting 11~12". I guess you finally get your very own performance consulting. Thank you for being you.

God speed my friend, God speed...
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Grief letters are a wonderful tool for helping you sort through and come to terms with your feelings at the loss of a loved one. I do them frequently with clients who are having difficulties processing and dealing with grief and as a consequence it is creating problems for them. Not suggesting that is the case with you; just saying that the letter is an effective tool at any stage in the process. I always have my clients do a burning as a closure. If they are inclined to believe that way, the smoke produced can be viewed as dispersing to the same place the soul has been dispersed, and therefore, reaching the essence of the loved one lost. But more than anything, the burning symbolizes closure.

On a more personal note, my mother died the day before Mother's Day. My son and I had not yet given her the cards and gifts we had purchased because we had planned a brunch for the following day. The cards and the gifts went into her casket, as that seemed the most appropriate thing to do.

In short, it really doesn't matter how you decide to do it, but just that you do it. It is the act of the ritual itself that is healing.
 
I'm very sorry for your loss, Cheetah... Your letter to your friend was beautifully done.

Mortality is something I find myself thinking about more frequently than I'd like. Although I'm fascinated with the endless possibilities of what may be on the "other side," I figure that one day my time will come and I'll eventually have the answer. Until then, I try to live life to its fullest and hope that some part of us goes on when the physical body dies. That destination is uncertain to me, but no matter what happens in the end, I know that deceased friends and loved ones helped shape us into what we are - and in that process, part of them became part of us. When grieving, it's a bittersweet thing to embrace.

Sometimes it's more physical. My grandmother "Granny" died about 8 years ago. Every once in a while, if I make a certain face, my mom says she sees Granny in my eyes. At first that observation bothered me a bit because I miss her and so does my mom, but now it brings me a bit of comfort. I think it does for my mom, too, and I'm happy for that.
 
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