Divorce process - what is it like?

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saywhatkid said:
You still haven't answered the big question: are you married, or were you married at any time?
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+1 I find it ironic that respectyoda is preaching about effective communication and yet not even answering this simple question.
 
A Nihilist said:
+1 I find it ironic that respectyoda is preaching about effective communication and yet not even answering this simple question.
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Hence, the part of my post you didn't quote. Hard to consider any advice when it comes from book-learned amateurs and armchair know-it-alls.

I respect opinions as long as they are not used as truth.
 
Jolie77 said:
Um, yeah stating the obvious is what most people would know. It's a basic standard issue. You seem to know all the answers to marriage except you haven't experience the marriage itself. Experiencing the hardships (and good parts) of marriage are a whole different thing, ya know?
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Unfortunately, not many people know these things. This is because people chose to not work on themselves by getting rid of pride and lust in their lives.

You of all people should know not to use absolute quantifiers. I don't know all of the answers to things such as marriage. The answers I have shared come from several sources of which some are people who have successful marriages. Even Paul in the early Church was able to teach on those things despite not being married!

Jiro said:
you talk too much.

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I am not talking too much as I am just responding to posts that concern my earlier posts. :)
 
respectyoda said:
I didn't say I was responding to all posts. Just to answer your question, no, I am not married, but I hope to be in the near future! :)
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Well, thank you for your honesty. That soapbox you've been standing on is looking mighty small.
 
respectyoda said:
Yes, it is true that a person can revert back to his/her old ways and cease to impress his/her spouse just like when they were courting. This is why spouses should make each other fall in love with the other everyday!



Man has made up "legitimate" reasons why two people can get a divorce, but the divorce rate is 50% here in America. Why? People are not ready for marriage and rushing to get married and then not working on himself/herself and the marriage as well.



Yes, people can change, but like I said, people can change either for the worse or the better. Effective communication will solve all problems. A man cannot expect to read what's in a woman's head or read her emotions accurately and vice versa. Communication has to be there for a couple to discuss their marriage, kids, future, and so on. Yes, like you said, people today have become selfish because they are going after their own personal agenda and not thinking of his/her spouse and even children. Many people have pierced themselves with arrows of sorrow by being selfish and going after objects like money, earthly riches, and so on and in the process destroying their life and that of others. It has been written that in the last days, people will come being people that just please themselves. Truly sad!



I didn't come up with this wisdom as there is one who did and if people followed this entity, divorce wouldn't be so rampant in this world. After all, people are trying to direct their own steps in life only to their destruction.



Jolie, you are stating the obvious! Of course, every marriage is different, but yet, they share the same underlying fundamentals. In a marriage, two people now share one life instead of two. It doesn't matter how different people communicate as they only need to find the most effective way to communicate with their spouse. Regardless of how spouses may differ in their communication and approach on issues, they must still talk about the marriage itself and children if they have children. Deep questions should be talked about in the marriage such as the following:

  1. How can we improve the marriage?
  2. What is lacking in the marriage?
  3. How can we address this issue with our child?
  4. How do you feel about this or that issue?
  5. What do I need to improve on to better love you in the marriage?
  6. What are your goals for our marriage?
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If you want to discuss the pros and cons of the marriage life, start a damn thread!
This is all about divorce /facepalm
 
JClarke said:
Read that title thread, mate. It is not about avoidance..../facepalm
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I am aware of what the title of this thread is and it is why I interjected in order to talk about how people can avoid having to go through the divorce process. Anyway, move on.
 
respectyoda said:
Unfortunately, not many people know these things. This is because people chose to not work on themselves by getting rid of pride and lust in their lives.

You of all people should know not to use absolute quantifiers. I don't know all of the answers to things such as marriage. The answers I have shared come from several sources of which some are people who have successful marriages. Even Paul in the early Church was able to teach on those things despite not being married!
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Yes, I'm aware of what Paul has said in the bible. Divorce can be avoidable in many cases. But, when one goes through the divorce process itself will need people to be supportive. It's just easier to talk to people who have been down that road before. That is the purpose of this thread. It's not the time to say divorce is wrong.
 
saywhatkid said:
The leading cause of divorce is marriage. You are on the right path if you wish to avoid divorce.
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That would be an inaccurate statement. The leading cause of divorce is not marriage itself, but rather one spouse or both spouses not working on themselves. A marriage is a commitment and this does not lead to divorce by default. It is as I said, one spouse or both spouses breaking that commitment.
 
respectyoda, Have you been married before?

If not, I suggested you to shut the F…ing up!

If so, please share!

I used to think I know it all about marriage. Now, I realize that I don't and it is best to shut up before experiencing marriage.
 
respectyoda said:
That would be an inaccurate statement. The leading cause of divorce is not marriage itself, but rather one spouse or both spouses not working on themselves. A marriage is a commitment and this does not lead to divorce by default. It is as I said, one spouse or both spouses breaking that commitment.
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You missed it. If you never marry, you won't need to worry about divorce. You just split up, grab your gear, change your pictures. No need to hit the court.

Anyhow, I think JC is looking at what to do NOW, since he is going through the "oops, failed to communicate properly, hit the road" phase, as you might term it.
 
saywhatkid said:
You missed it. If you never marry, you won't need to worry about divorce. You just split up, grab your gear, change your pictures. No need to hit the court.

Anyhow, I think JC is looking at what to do NOW, since he is going through the "oops, failed to communicate properly, hit the road" phase, as you might term it.
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I understand what you are getting at, but this is not an excuse for avoiding marriage in order to be with someone of the opposite sex and living together as well as having children.
 
respectyoda said:
I understand what you are getting at, but this is not an excuse for avoiding marriage in order to be with someone of the opposite sex and living together as well as having children.
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You don't have to live together or have children. You can date.

Anyhow, back to the topic intended.
 
It's just like finding out your marriage counselor is divorced.
 
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