Decision

shel90 said:
You know what's so interesting? Even children of Deaf parents whether they are deaf or hearing have wonky handshapes when signing at that age. That is what makes them soooo adorable. These parents need mental help fast!
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I know it. This is personal, but my niece and nephew had a difficult time pronouncing my name when they were little. The way it came out was really freaking adorable. I actually was a little sad when they got a bit older and COULD pronounce my name correctly. It meant they were growing up... lol

This all goes back to what we've said about aquiring language. It should be natural. For the deaf, that's a accessing a visual language. As the child grows up, they'll learn what the correct way is to either pronounce a word (for a hearing child) or sign with the correct handshape (for a deaf child).
 
shel90 said:
You know what's so interesting? Even children of Deaf parents whether they are deaf or hearing have wonky handshapes when signing at that age. That is what makes them soooo adorable. These parents need mental help fast!
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Yeah, they look so sweet when they do this. Mini signs.

I agree there been too much foucs on speech, my parents was the same, they were only like this because of professionals. They always accessing my speech and feedback to my parents and if there is no improvement or I am doing worse (mainly only cos I can't be bothered, I am only very young that age!) they will panic a bit and go into more speech more speech more speech mode until they are happy.
 
This hyperfocus on speech and Ling sounds. This one mother has a nearly four year old and she's STILL anxious about this kids' speech. WTH? He's FOUR! Children DON'T have PERFECT speech, lady! This is what bugs me so much. Their goal doesn't seem to get the child up to what is age appropriate. They want MORE from the kids. They want their kids to EXCEED speech goals for their ages. What two year old speaks perfectly? In the hearing world, not many; yet the children with CIs HAVE perfect articulation or nearly so. It's NOT normal! A child is supposed to have wonky articulation
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Exactly. I'm not anti speech therapy. But more like regular consistant quality speech thereapy, rather then "gotta therapize them 24/7. It's really sad.
It makes the intervention at Clarke look mild (speech therapy 3 times a day)
 
deafdyke said:
Exactly. I'm not anti speech therapy. But more like regular consistant quality speech thereapy, rather then "gotta therapize them 24/7. It's really sad.
It makes the intervention at Clarke look mild (speech therapy 3 times a day)
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I'm NOT anti speech therapy, either; when it's needed. But, to overly focus on therapies and make "every opportunity a language opportunity"?

Uh, ok. :ugh:

I'm unfamiliar with Clarke, though, DD.
 
Oceanbreeze said:
...I decided tonight to delete the CI blogs I've read over the last few years. The reason being a simple one. I'm pissed off at what I'm reading and I realized that by reading these blasted things, I am secondarily supporting these parents and their methods. In actuality, the more I read about some of these "journeys", the more sickened and angry I get....
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Life is too short and stressful as it is. I'm glad that you're relieving yourself of some of that aggravation. :)
 
My sister (before she died) and I were talking about children and how they are so innocent. Then she said something that haunts me, even now.

"You never had a childhood." I didn't know what she was talking about but she added.
"You worked, worked, worked while other kids played outside. You finally learned one word. Do you remember that word?" I told her I had no idea.

"Play."
 
deafbajagal said:
My sister (before she died) and I were talking about children and how they are so innocent. Then she said something that haunts me, even now.

"You never had a childhood." I didn't know what she was talking about but she added.
"You worked, worked, worked while other kids played outside. You finally learned one word. Do you remember that word?" I told her I had no idea.

"Play."
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How ironic.
 
I had forgotten about that conversation until I read this thread. Serious goosebumps.

And honestly, I didn't really registered what she was saying until I read this. Now I think I know what she was talking about.
 
jillio said:
I'd say you are making a wise decision. There is no need to upset yourself over these blogs. I see them more as a ploy to gain attention that anything informative.
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To again attention AND a chance to brag. I also think it's a futile attempt to again acceptance that what they are doing is OK. What struck me is this one Mom's anxiety persists 3.5 yrs AFTER she had her kid implanted. This one Mom in particular needs counseling to get over her insecurities!
 
Oceanbreeze;1760306[B said:
]........ but I agree that what I saw was unhealthy. A child shouldn't be therapied to death. And, I believe that play therapy only really belongs in the psych arena. That is where it really does some good. But, AVT? Ugh![/B]
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I couldn't agree with you more. Parents and children need quality and quantity time together where they can express themselves in a stress-free, loving environment. The lack of this - is what I believe to be the cause for the break-down of the family unit which is the backbone of society; the lack of respect for authorities and for fellow human beings.
 
deafbajagal said:
My sister (before she died) and I were talking about children and how they are so innocent. Then she said something that haunts me, even now.

"You never had a childhood." I didn't know what she was talking about but she added.
"You worked, worked, worked while other kids played outside. You finally learned one word. Do you remember that word?" I told her I had no idea.

"Play."
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Whoa, that sad. Bit like me, I always had to work on my speech as child, though my first word was "Blue".
 
Oceanbreeze said:
To again attention AND a chance to brag. I also think it's a futile attempt to again acceptance that what they are doing is OK. What struck me is this one Mom's anxiety persists 3.5 yrs AFTER she had her kid implanted. This one Mom in particular needs counseling to get over her insecurities!
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Kind of reminds you of those "pageant moms" doesn't it? "Look what I made!" Frankly, I find that kind of exploitive treatment of children disgusting.
 
Banjo said:
I would consider it a form of mental abuse.
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If often turns into verbal and emotional abuse. Just by the nature of what is trying to be accomplished and the methods used. Parents get frustrated when the kid cannot perform according to the parent's expectation, kids are exhausted from trying their best and never achieving perfection, and things blow up.
 
Oceanbreeze said:
You're throwing me with the "overly directive relationship", but I agreethat what I saw was unhealthy. A child shouldn't be therapied to death. And, I believe that play therapy only really belongs in the psych arena. That is where it really does some good. But, AVT? Ugh!
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When parents say, for instance, "This is not therapy. I am just playing with my child and turning it into a language enriched environment." The parent, in fact, takes over, and directs the way the play goes. They choose activity and topic. Instead of letting the child engage in play the way the child needs to, independently and creatively, the parent becomes very directive regarding the play session. The child never learns to take the initiative in playtime, and if the child attempts to, the parent will take over and turn it the direction they want it to go in order to accomplish a pre-determined goal. There is no spontaneous activity.

A child learns from spontaneous and self directed play. If their play time is constantly directed by a parent, then they will never learn to take the initiative in any type of learning. They will always be waiting for someone to tell them what to do and how to do it. It really does have some crippling consequences for the child, in a developmental sense. One of the stages of childhood is to learn that they are independent creatures who can have a direct effect on, and a degree of control of, their environment and those around them. A child that does not resolve this stage properly carries all of those issues with them into adulthood. Any developmental stage left unresolved at any point prevents the next stage being resolved.

Shel might be able to explain this better than I. She is quite familiar with the stage theories, as well.
 
shel90 said:
You know what's so interesting? Even children of Deaf parents whether they are deaf or hearing have wonky handshapes when signing at that age. That is what makes them soooo adorable. These parents need mental help fast!
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Of course they do. A child can only do what is developmentally appropriate for them to do. These parents are looking for a paragraph when the kid is only ready for two word phrases.:roll: As a result, they always feel they cannot live up to what is expected of them.
 
deafbajagal said:
My sister (before she died) and I were talking about children and how they are so innocent. Then she said something that haunts me, even now.

"You never had a childhood." I didn't know what she was talking about but she added.
"You worked, worked, worked while other kids played outside. You finally learned one word. Do you remember that word?" I told her I had no idea.

"Play."
Click to expand...

I am now sitting here with a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes.

Hugs to you and the child within.
 
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