Deaf wannabe!!!!!!!!!!!! So bad

[rockin'robin]

I do know that in my case, I have a lot of people who think I am faking my hearing loss. They think that because I do somewhat well reading lips and can follow one-on-one conversations, that I have no hearing loss. My MIL is the worst at thinking I am faking it, but ah well - I know the truth. Have had numerous tests and exams, I have no ear drums, and now other parts are not working. When doing an audiogram, I hear nothing.

OH !...Kristina, you have no ear drums?....Neither do I !...Ur the first person I've known like this....I had a very rare ear drum disease and became deaf after a "blotched & butchering" surgery to repair them.....and 3 other surgeries afterward....What happened to ur ear drums?....

 

[whatdidyousay!]

I went to collage with a woman that was HOH , we spoke a few time. so I knew she could hear enough to talk. I ran into the woman while I was in line waiting for train and she was trying to sell small cards that said she was a deaf mute and the other side had the sign language alphabet on it. When she saw me in line she was really worried I would say "hi" to her and people would know she was not deaf ! I should had said something to her but I did not. People where giving her a dollar for the card.

 

[Bottesini]

I went to collage with a woman that was HOH , we spoke a few time. so I knew she could hear enough to talk. I ran into the woman while I was in line waiting for train and she was trying to sell small cards that said she was a deaf mute and the other side had the sign language alphabet on it. When she saw me in line she was really worried I would say "hi" to her and people would know she was not deaf ! I should had said something to her but I did not. People where giving her a dollar for the card.

I have a small collection of those old cards. Some have little sewing kits on them also.

 

[KristinaB]

OH !...Kristina, you have no ear drums?....Neither do I !...Ur the first person I've known like this....I had a very rare ear drum disease and became deaf after a "blotched & butchering" surgery to repair them.....and 3 other surgeries afterward....What happened to ur ear drums?....

Squeezed off and disintegrated by calcium deposits and scar tissue resulting from birth.

 

[Juli-terp-to-be]

besides the internet and other things that I have stumbled upon.....
some people disgust me not knowing that they are going to get caught soon.
i ran into someone who wants to be deaf is playing this game and is finally getting into more test spending thier money for nothing. its pretty sick. i hope they get help soon. once you say that you are deaf you are deaf even if you are not until you get caught yoy come out with unusual test results and such. this person even tried to get a CI and knew that would make them lose their hearing they exxagerate most of the time if they did have a lost i think it would be mild a little knowledge is good but if you keep this game up then you are stuck
I know for a fact he/she is faking and i feel horrible because they will be found out on day. Should I back away or save him or her now!!!!

if they love deafness that much why didnt they become a doctor or an TERP or something like that....I mean really???? some one explain this to me please

I just read this and I had to chime in. My first bf told me that he was deaf in one ear due to a car accident & brain damage. I found out he was lying to me when his sister came to my house and told me. Yes, there was a car accident, but he wasn't permanently injured. He's a pathological liar and made himself feel better when people worry about him.
Because of his lies I was very cautious meeting deaf & HOH people. But I have to admit that I have learned from his deceit and I can now spot a person that is a faker.

 

[MINILEE]

I just read this and I had to chime in. My first bf told me that he was deaf in one ear due to a car accident & brain damage. I found out he was lying to me when his sister came to my house and told me. Yes, there was a car accident, but he wasn't permanently injured. He's a pathological liar and made himself feel better when people worry about him.
Because of his lies I was very cautious meeting deaf & HOH people. But I have to admit that I have learned from his deceit and I can now spot a person that is a faker.

im glad you learned something but wow? just to feel sorry for him how sad.....glad that you have moved on good for you

 

[Juli-terp-to-be]

I went to collage with a woman that was HOH , we spoke a few time. so I knew she could hear enough to talk. I ran into the woman while I was in line waiting for train and she was trying to sell small cards that said she was a deaf mute and the other side had the sign language alphabet on it. When she saw me in line she was really worried I would say "hi" to her and people would know she was not deaf ! I should had said something to her but I did not. People where giving her a dollar for the card.

I met a person like that in the local mall, he was getting $5 for each card. Unfortunately for him he tried to hand the card to my son, who asked me to give the guy the money. I began to sign to him and his eyes went wide in panic. He wasn't deaf at all and was scamming everyone in the mall! I was yelling and making a real big scene. He tossed the money he had gotten at me and tried to run, right into mall security! LOL

 

[A]

I met a person like that in the local mall, he was getting $5 for each card. Unfortunately for him he tried to hand the card to my son, who asked me to give the guy the money. I began to sign to him and his eyes went wide in panic. He wasn't deaf at all and was scamming everyone in the mall! I was yelling and making a real big scene. He tossed the money he had gotten at me and tried to run, right into mall security! LOL

Did he lied that he only know ASL? I don't know why he would panic over signing unless he was lying about it. There are oral-only deaf who struggle with jobs, but if they start begging for money by using their voice, people probably don't believe they are deaf because they don't know ASL. This guy sound like a rip off hearing person though, because I don't think a deaf would panic for not knowing ASL. They know the depth of deaf issues too well to panic like that.

oh and can anyone tell me what are these cards ? I have no idea what they are and what they look like.

 

[A]

A Doctor I saw when I was younger , this was in the 60's , told me if I can't hear a knock on door that would mean I am deaf , if I can hear the sound I am not a a good candidate for surgery to hear better. There was a 50/50 change of losing the hearing I did have! Someone saw this Dr, and had surgery and was able to hear better , I have a nerve damage hearing loss the guy did not. and when to one Dr , for my hearing and he wanted to know if I was wearing a bra!! I did not know my breasts had anything to do with my hearing!!

Did he mean if you can hear the door knocking with your HA or without your HA?

I can hear it with my HA..but I can not hear it without my HA ...unless I put my ear on the door, then I can hear the muffled part of the door knocking. In order for me to hear without my hearing aids, everything have to be close distance to my ears and loud

 

[Juli-terp-to-be]

Did he lied that he only know ASL? I don't know why he would panic over signing unless he was lying about it. There are oral-only deaf who struggle with jobs, but if they start begging for money by using their voice, people probably don't believe they are deaf because they don't know ASL. This guy sound like a rip off hearing person though, because I don't think a deaf would panic for not knowing ASL. They know the depth of deaf issues too well to panic like that.

I understand if he was an oral deaf. I wouldn't have given him any trouble. He admitted that he was hearing when mall security nabbed him. Also when ya watched him 'talk' you could see that he was rolling his tonuge as he talked to mimic the 'deaf tone' in his speech.
Security gave me half of the money this guy scammed as a reward. LOL

 

[JennyB]

due to the type of hearing loss I have, in addition to a mild, APD, as well as other medical conditions that cause the amount of hearing I do have to fluctuate - I've been accused a LOT of being some sort of "Hoh wannabee" - by which I mean, people are absolutely certain that my hearing loss isn't as "bad" as I say it is (I'm profoundly +120db deaf on my right, mild.mod flux on the left).
Even my family , who's SEEN my audiograms, hearing aid etc , occasionally accuses me of "selective hearing" (depending on what side they stand on, how much background noise there is, how I'm physically feeling etc - I may hear almost everything - or almost nothing ... frustrating for me, frustrating for them too!

Because of my experience with being accused of somehow "faking" how much I hear - I'm always VERY VERY careful about doing them same about anyone else... I've learned the hard way that I have days where I'm "almost hearing", but just as many , if not more days when I'm "almost bi-laterally deaf"...I can only imagine what that must seem like to people looking at me "from outside" ....

My loss fluctuates too. Mostly in the lows but every once and a while I will be able to hear the lows without aids and most of the time I have a 100+dB loss in both ears. I had a friend tell me it frustrates her so much that I "insist" I am Deaf and can't hear anything when sometimes I respond to sound. I have explained to her my response to "sound" may be vibrotactile, or it may be a day when I can magically hear in the lows due to the fluctuation. She couldn't handle that though and I was told I shouldn't call myself Deaf and I should explain that I have fluctuating hearing and sometimes can hear. Mind you, this person is hearing and I tried to explain regardless of if I can hear at 60dB at 250Hz or 110dB at 250Hz, I am still Deaf. I am culturally Deaf. People don't get that Deaf is a cultural identity just as much as a strictly audiological one. People also think that Deaf means you hear nothing at all ever. There is a lot of confusion out there.

 

[Anij]

My loss fluctuates too. Mostly in the lows but every once and a while I will be able to hear the lows without aids and most of the time I have a 100+dB loss in both ears. I had a friend tell me it frustrates her so much that I "insist" I am Deaf and can't hear anything when sometimes I respond to sound. I have explained to her my response to "sound" may be vibrotactile, or it may be a day when I can magically hear in the lows due to the fluctuation. She couldn't handle that though and I was told I shouldn't call myself Deaf and I should explain that I have fluctuating hearing and sometimes can hear. Mind you, this person is hearing and I tried to explain regardless of if I can hear at 60dB at 250Hz or 110dB at 250Hz, I am still Deaf. I am culturally Deaf. People don't get that Deaf is a cultural identity just as much as a strictly audiological one. People also think that Deaf means you hear nothing at all ever. There is a lot of confusion out there.

Yep - in my case I never really know what to describe my hearing as ... I mean Audiologically I'm profoundly deaf (+120db, all frequencies) on my right - so it's not inaccurate to say that I'm deaf ... however my left side is Hoh so I'm also Hoh (left has mild/mod HL & fluctuates all the time in part due to my form of Fibromyalgia). In my case I tend to function more "deaf" than "Hoh" in any situation that has any amount of background noise, but more "Hoh" than "deaf" if it's very quiet :shrug:

From an identity stand point I absolutely consider myself Deaf (even more than Hoh) - I find ASL more "natural" for me, even though I didn't really start learning it properly until I was a young adult (prior I had about a 2000 sign vocabulary learned from books, videos & movies etc -but no actual language skills etc).

I still struggle socially to be involved in the Deaf community IRL - not because I'm not "Welcome" (I've been welcomed with open arms!!), rather I tend to be a bit shy when it comes to meeting people, and in 2004 I was in a car accident that has permanently injured/caused chronic & constant pain and weakness in my neck, shoulders, arms and hands, as well as fine motor skill issues .... this makes it difficult to participate in most of the Deaf activities (sports, pool, darts etc) as well as even signing for extended times
For me the most traumatic issue I deal with from the car accident isn't that I'm now physically disabled - although I was born with significant HL, I never considered that a disability, rather just a "difference" similar to being short/tall, blond/brunette/red etc, female/male, French, English, German, Canadian, American etc. Post accident however, I am disabled. I'm unable to work due to severe chronic pain, severe fatigue, osteoarthritis, fibromyalgia etc, injuries that have made it difficult to be a part of a community that I absolutely LOVE.

I try to remind myself that unless someone has experienced long term hearing loss or is Hoh or deaf themselves, they can't be expected to understand the intricacies of the what it means to be Hoh/deaf. I know that people, for the most part, aren't intentionally trying to be difficult, or sceptical - rather they can only "work with" what they see ... so if one day I respond to a sound or can understand them well, and another day I can't - I can see how that would be confusing to make sense of if you're someone who's never experienced a sense (hearing, vision, balance etc) that comes with fluctuations or changes depending on the environment (noise, darkness, uneven ground etc).

 

[MINILEE]

My loss fluctuates too. Mostly in the lows but every once and a while I will be able to hear the lows without aids and most of the time I have a 100+dB loss in both ears. I had a friend tell me it frustrates her so much that I "insist" I am Deaf and can't hear anything when sometimes I respond to sound. I have explained to her my response to "sound" may be vibrotactile, or it may be a day when I can magically hear in the lows due to the fluctuation. She couldn't handle that though and I was told I shouldn't call myself Deaf and I should explain that I have fluctuating hearing and sometimes can hear. Mind you, this person is hearing and I tried to explain regardless of if I can hear at 60dB at 250Hz or 110dB at 250Hz, I am still Deaf. I am culturally Deaf. People don't get that Deaf is a cultural identity just as much as a strictly audiological one. People also think that Deaf means you hear nothing at all ever. There is a lot of confusion out there.

very good point JEnnyB never thought about it like that but ive always wondered i wasnt calling anyone a faker on this board because of fluctuation of the loss but dont doctors suspect that when it happens that the person is faking. I mean audiograms looking different and things like that for a fluctuating hearing loss that it causes lots of confusion I can imagine, I have heard people with that type of loss benefit from CI's because its better than hearing aids in fluctuation. They tried to force a CI on me....idk if thats a trend or something but its like they gave me no time to breathe. Thats so cool that you are part of deaf culture me too!!!! so without ur hearing aids you can hear things too? I wish I could....so is it stress that makes some days you can hear and some days not? So I bet you got alot of doubts from the docs? you see my abr was very abnormal and almost flat but i passed my OAE and pure tones were really bad and speech recognition but you see my audiograms were inconsistent 2 times but after that they remained the same.

 

[MINILEE]

Yep - in my case I never really know what to describe my hearing as ... I mean Audiologically I'm profoundly deaf (+120db, all frequencies) on my right - so it's not inaccurate to say that I'm deaf ... however my left side is Hoh so I'm also Hoh (left has mild/mod HL & fluctuates all the time in part due to my form of Fibromyalgia). In my case I tend to function more "deaf" than "Hoh" in any situation that has any amount of background noise, but more "Hoh" than "deaf" if it's very quiet :shrug:

From an identity stand point I absolutely consider myself Deaf (even more than Hoh) - I find ASL more "natural" for me, even though I didn't really start learning it properly until I was a young adult (prior I had about a 2000 sign vocabulary learned from books, videos & movies etc -but no actual language skills etc).

I still struggle socially to be involved in the Deaf community IRL - not because I'm not "Welcome" (I've been welcomed with open arms!!), rather I tend to be a bit shy when it comes to meeting people, and in 2004 I was in a car accident that has permanently injured/caused chronic & constant pain and weakness in my neck, shoulders, arms and hands, as well as fine motor skill issues .... this makes it difficult to participate in most of the Deaf activities (sports, pool, darts etc) as well as even signing for extended times
For me the most traumatic issue I deal with from the car accident isn't that I'm now physically disabled - although I was born with significant HL, I never considered that a disability, rather just a "difference" similar to being short/tall, blond/brunette/red etc, female/male, French, English, German, Canadian, American etc. Post accident however, I am disabled. I'm unable to work due to severe chronic pain, severe fatigue, osteoarthritis, fibromyalgia etc, injuries that have made it difficult to be a part of a community that I absolutely LOVE.

I try to remind myself that unless someone has experienced long term hearing loss or is Hoh or deaf themselves, they can't be expected to understand the intricacies of the what it means to be Hoh/deaf. I know that people, for the most part, aren't intentionally trying to be difficult, or sceptical - rather they can only "work with" what they see ... so if one day I respond to a sound or can understand them well, and another day I can't - I can see how that would be confusing to make sense of if you're someone who's never experienced a sense (hearing, vision, balance etc) that comes with fluctuations or changes depending on the environment (noise, darkness, uneven ground etc).

my heart goes out to you you have been through alot...as you have fluctuation too. Did the docs throw the CI on you also? isnt it hard to repogram and repogram hearing aids for a fluctuating loss?
you have been through so much I have much respect for you

 

[Hollykins1]

I've been reluctant to post on this thread as I'm neither deaf nor can I classify myself as HOH.

However, I do have fluctuating hearing thanks to Meniere's. I know my co-workers don't understand why I can hear something one time, and later on cannot. I am not faking!

 

[MINILEE]

I've been reluctant to post on this thread as I'm neither deaf nor can I classify myself as HOH.

However, I do have fluctuating hearing thanks to Meniere's. I know my co-workers don't understand why I can hear something one time, and later on cannot. I am not faking!

its okay i wasnt talking about people like you only people who are completely hearing but have no loss anytime of day or night and completely hear everyhting they are a hearie....but its okay i understand your situation and yeah Meniere's i've heard that fluctuates and everything....HOPE all is well and GOES well with you

 

[Hollykins1]

I didn't think that of you, but thank you for your reply.

I suspect there are people who want to be deaf because they want the attention that they THINK it would bring. You know, special treatment, sympathy, people going out of their way to make things easier for them.

Of course when "real life" happens and they run into insensitive people, idiots, and roadblocks that the Deaf have to put up with on a daily basis, they can just temporarily turn it off, especially when they think no one is looking or noticing.

 

[JennyB]

very good point JEnnyB never thought about it like that but ive always wondered i wasnt calling anyone a faker on this board because of fluctuation of the loss but dont doctors suspect that when it happens that the person is faking. I mean audiograms looking different and things like that for a fluctuating hearing loss that it causes lots of confusion I can imagine, I have heard people with that type of loss benefit from CI's because its better than hearing aids in fluctuation. They tried to force a CI on me....idk if thats a trend or something but its like they gave me no time to breathe. Thats so cool that you are part of deaf culture me too!!!! so without ur hearing aids you can hear things too? I wish I could....so is it stress that makes some days you can hear and some days not? So I bet you got alot of doubts from the docs? you see my abr was very abnormal and almost flat but i passed my OAE and pure tones were really bad and speech recognition but you see my audiograms were inconsistent 2 times but after that they remained the same.

Most of the time I hear nothing without my aids. it may be at most like 1 day a month that my lows jump up for some unexplicable reason. I am always NR beyond 1000Hz so it doesn't mean much anyway.

Never get doubts from docs. My ABR has no response.

 

[MINILEE]

Most of the time I hear nothing without my aids. it may be at most like 1 day a month that my lows jump up for some unexplicable reason. I am always NR beyond 1000Hz so it doesn't mean much anyway.

Never get doubts from docs. My ABR has no response.

ohh ok

 

[ASLGAL]

I am with Hollykins1, I am getting the feeling this thread is turning from people who fake being D/deaf or HOH to if you are HOH you aren't deaf enough and therefore faking.

My husband is absolutely not faking...being HOHw/HAs it depends entirely on the environment/situation whether he can hear a person with his HAs in or not at all. He is always at a loss when peole ask...it is just too much information to go into and most people do not really want to know anyway

My issue is with TMJ, swelling in the joints at the top of the jaw, and irritated eustacian(sp) tubes. Once the ENT figured out what my fluctuating issue was I did not repost in the "Are you late deafened" thread. I am hearing, although when all that is flaring I cannot hear well, when under control my levels are ok on the audiogram.