Deaf culture - do's and don'ts, etc. Let's make a list!

deafbajagal said:
A cool thing about signers: you CAN sign (rather than talk) with your mouth full! :)
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Yeah but when I'm eating with signers I never get a chance to put a bite of food in my mouth! It's a trade-off.
 
Cheri

I'm in your shoes, it had happend to me, it was really embarassing.:Oops: boy was my face redder when people were looking at me.

Cheri said:
Lol I remembered being told that my hearing aid is making whistling noises, I would get so embarrassed and say "damn those hearing aids, can you be quiet for gawd sake!". :giggle:
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I remember back when I wore aids me and my grandpa would be sitting there watching TV (usually a NE Patriots game) and my mom would walk in and say " Can you PLEASE adjust your aids, BOTH of you?! They've been whistling for the past 10 minutes!" Me and him would look at each other and adjust our aids like old timers do, laugh, then continue to watch the game.
 
Dixie said:
I remember back when I wore aids me and my grandpa would be sitting there watching TV (usually a NE Patriots game) and my mom would walk in and say " Can you PLEASE adjust your aids, BOTH of you?! They've been whistling for the past 10 minutes!" Me and him would look at each other and adjust our aids like old timers do, laugh, then continue to watch the game.
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:giggle: That's a great story!
 
kimpossible said:
- this is more of a deaf/HoH sort of thing but I don't like it when, at a presentation of some sort, there is speech and signing but nothing else. Okay, great, thanks for the accommodating gesture but errm what if you don't know sign? I do know quite a bit of ASL but i suck at following sign that's not in a one-on-one conversation about as much as I suck at following speech outside of a one-on-one conversation.

- I really hate it when I'm at the dinner table and everyone is chatting amongst themselves, but they only speak clearly when they have something to say to me, specifically. so I'm just THERE... after a while people start to notice that I haven't been involved in the conversation and will say "so kim, how was your day?" A bit of small talk will ensue but then eventually they'll go back to talking over each other, quickly & unclearly. providing that I'm there, in the room, unless it's something they really don't want me to hear (in which case they usually whisper, anyway), I just kind of wish they'd make the extra effort to articulate properly. it's generally proper etiquette to just speak clearly, anyway.



I get the same thing in group situations, also often get most of a conversation but miss out the vital bit like a persons name or something so have no point of reference for the rest of conversation.

Another thing that gets me is when I comment on a loud noise and some idiot says "well you cant hear it anyway" why would I comment or even wear HA in the first place

People turning their heads away when they dont want me to lipread something is another huge peeve, but just shows their lack of breeding anyway
-
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shel90 said:
If they think that, let them. I really do not care what they think but I am going to talk with both of them about it and not to do it again. If they don't like it, too bad for them.
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I think you definitely should talk with them. I can well understand your feelings. People just have to not be stuck in their fantasy worlds. Ugh! You are just giving them a learning opportunity when you confront them, so that is a really good thing. It is up to them how they may choose to behave after that.. it's on them, not you. You will have done your job! We are here for you no matter what happens.

DO have a talk with your hb about his wussy behavior around his family. You need to know he has your back when you confront them.

I wish you much light and luck, Shel.
 
Don'ts

1. Don't talk to deaf people
2. Don't date a deaf guy

Do's

1. Stay away from them
2. Be on Alldeaf forum and deaf chatroom, just like other deaf people are doing now.


:giggle:

Just kidding.
 
It usually depends on the person, the group, and the place.

If it was a room full of deaf people that weren't paying attention, just flip the light off and on once... not repeatedly (it's annoying).

If a deaf person doesn't respond when you call his/her name, simply give them a gentle tap on his/her shoulder... not pat his/her head, or poke repeatedly, etc.

If you're standing at a distance from a person and can't immediately tap his/her shoulder, a simple wave might help if he/she happens to look in your direction... there's no need to go waving your arms in the air like a raving maniac (especially in public places like at the mall or a crowded classroom). If that fails, then you can let it go or take the time to walk up to that person. This is like calling out a person's name. It's embarrassing to yell out a person's name in a mall as well as flinging your arms like crazy in a mall. ;)

Just because a person is deaf doesn't mean you can go ahead and say whatever you want as if that person doesn't exist. There are different kinds of deafness... some are profoundly deaf and some are mildly deaf. They might be able to hear you in some way or read your lips. It's also kinda rude to be talking about something like that in front of another person as if he/she doesn't exist. Here's a good example... What the Deaf Man Heard. ;)

When a person is deaf, don't immediately assume that the deaf person can't do anything or is limited to a lot of things. If you're afraid to make an inappropriate approach, then try a neutral approach. For instance, just because a person is deaf doesn't mean they can't use the phone. It's better to ask if they can use the phone instead of being direct both ways. Saying "Oh, I better use the phone instead" might suggest that you think they can't talk or saying "Ok, you use the phone to order pizza" might suggest you aren't being considerate of their deafness. It's more likely better to say, "Could you order pizza for me?" That gives the deaf person the option of using the phone, using the TTY, the online/TTY relay, or saying "Sorry, I don't have the means to order. Could you do it instead?"

There are a lot of other things, I can't think of right now. :)
 
Irritations

Please NEVER (ever!) bump my bed while I am sleeping!

I guess, "Oh, never mind!" when it's coming from a hearing person makes me the most angry.

(My husband is hearing) and when someone tells him to tell ME something, like, "Tell her", THAT can really set me off. And I frequently tell the person to tell me themselves!

:rifle: :rl: :whip:

Lantana
 
Atta girl Lantana - thats the kind of attitude to have sometimes, people are often afraid to tell me something direct - and when they are in front of me and do that then Im like - "WTF? Why am I even bothering with this conversation?"

I also hate it when the topic of discussion changes and I ask a question about something that was last discussed a minute ago, and I get weird looks like - have you been zoning out??
 
Lantana said:
Please NEVER (ever!) bump my bed while I am sleeping!

I guess, "Oh, never mind!" when it's coming from a hearing person makes me the most angry.

(My husband is hearing) and when someone tells him to tell ME something, like, "Tell her", THAT can really set me off. And I frequently tell the person to tell me themselves!

:rifle: :rl: :whip:

Lantana
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:gpost:, Also I do not like it when someone tag me so hard or rough, what's wrong with being gentle?,
 
For cochlear

- Don't
1) DON'T EVER TOUCH MY HEAD! Especially near my cochlear, if they "hit" in any way...slap, soft punch, hard push or whatever. I'll instantly punch them without knowing it (bad reaction)

2) as others mentioned, don't leave me out of the group conversation

3) Being deaf IS NOT laughter matters(it's ok if it's small joke, but testing my hearing is not ok)

4) if you're trying to get my attention, such like knocking the door. Don't bang the door hard as you can at first; knock soft then knock harder.

Edit: 5) cochlear isn't perfect as you may think, my volume tend to get move around. it may be at lowest setting and Ill never know.

6) Don't ask me if my cochlear is on or not. It really get on my nerves.
 
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Lantana said:
Please NEVER (ever!) bump my bed while I am sleeping!

I guess, "Oh, never mind!" when it's coming from a hearing person makes me the most angry.

(My husband is hearing) and when someone tells him to tell ME something, like, "Tell her", THAT can really set me off. And I frequently tell the person to tell me themselves!

:rifle: :rl: :whip:

Lantana
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U are not the only one. This is the one of the few times when I seriously come close to losing my temper and it takes a lot for me to lose it.
 
Lantana said:
(My husband is hearing) and when someone tells him to tell ME something, like, "Tell her", THAT can really set me off. And I frequently tell the person to tell me themselves!
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When you're talking to a deaf person using the relay, use first person not third person. I have often tell the caller to please use the first person when I see the "tell her". It can be confusing as in tell her ( as in my sister??? or friend???). My brother still haven't change that bad habit. I don't call him very much.
 
About talking across and doorways: The rude ones are those who do so, deaf or hearing. They should have the courtesy to have conversations where they don't force people to go between them. In both tribal colleges where I've taught, it was against all four tribal customs to ever walk between people talking. Many have the notion that walking between talkers is quite rude.

About attracting this deafies's attention: I had an outdoor job, so my boss purchased many laser pens for me to give to those I worked with. They would shine the red dot past me onto beehives, trees, vehicles, etc. to get my attention. It worked most of the time. Note: you must never shine lasers into a person's or animal's eyes. A flash won't hurt, but a steady beam will.

My employer let me keep the laser pens, so I loan them to friends who don't have text phones when we're out somewhere we'll be separated.

Yes, wild waving and loud shouts are useless and often embarrassing. But what really grinds my teeth is when someome whistles. If I see it or find out through a friend, I usually tell the person "This dog will bite next time you whistle for him."
 
I hate it when someone is talking to me and that person know about my hearing and the person would turn their head so i can`t see their lips.:pissed:
 
peppsiwoman said:
I hate it when someone is talking to me and that person know about my hearing and the person would turn their head so i can`t see their lips.:pissed:
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Gee, I hope that "someone" wasn't a friend of yours. I wouldn't like it if someone did that to me knowing that I'm unable to hear.
 
peppsiwoman said:
I hate it when someone is talking to me and that person know about my hearing and the person would turn their head so i can`t see their lips.:pissed:
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I concur, however, sometimes some folks just are umm...forgetful or have that certain habit of doing that (with all people--that is) also.


Perhaps, next time...simply stop the person for a moment and politely tell them to 'please look at me while you're talking so I can understand everything you're saying--ty!' Works for me-- :)


Then again, if it is being done intentionally, then that is obviously rude. ;)







~RR
 
It happens alot. like in the store, bank, doctor office and yes family and freinds.
 
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