Deaf Boyfriend versus Hearing Boyfriend...

lemontree said:
Are you saying all deaf guys are "drama queens?"
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Unfortunately, I kept running into them again and again in the past. For instance, Deaf gays at Gallaudet University (Oh my GOSH!) and other Deaf organizations and coffee chats. I avoided them at any cost because I did not need their drama. All I can say is that I haven't met a Deaf that is "cool" or drama-free. However, I hope I run into a Deaf guy that I find more attractive. I am much happy with my current crowd, buddies and my lover that is drama-free for a long time. I love the peace and harmony for a long time. It is like Heaven on Earth.

And indeed, I'd love to give it a try to date a Deaf guy, only if he is drama-free. It'd be fantastic and I'd be looking forward to it. That'd be new for me.
 
Endy said:
I am Deaf. That depends on individuals. One day I want to have a Deaf BF but I'd rather not due to everyday drama and all-time negativity.

I have a hearing lover, he is amazing - Drama-free and has great positive attitude all times. I so attract to him because of his positive attitude - That's what I am looking in the relationship --- Drama-free and Positive Attitude. He has terrible eye/hand coordination learning signs, so we created homemade signs that something is easy on his hands. We are very cool about it.

I'd love to run into some Deaf guy that has Drama-free and awesome Positive Attitude, it'd be more likely for me to attract to.
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My sentiments, exactly! I avoid the general deaf community, not *just* the deaf GLBT ones, at all costs.

Call me a snob all you like, but that's just what my own observing eyes tell me.
 
Well, that is most curious about deaf guys being "dramatic" and all.

I think I would keep an open mind, as my experiences with hearing guys have not been positive because they tell me the whole communication too tiresome and they always forget I am deaf. They never learn ASL.

When I remind them they need to face me or be in the light so I can lip-read, or write things down, or ask them what is going on (like when we're in a group of hearing people, or at the game, or at the movies) they just roll their eyes and act like it is a huge deal to repeat stuff, write things out, or explain what is going on.

That's why I thought deaf guys won't be like that. We can sign to each other and we know what it is like being deaf so we understand each other. So that is why it surprised me when I read about deaf guys not being "drama-free" and I was like, "huh, what does that mean?" :eek3:

Well, anyway, learn a new thing every day, eh?
 
Endy said:
I am Deaf. That depends on individuals. One day I want to have a Deaf BF but I'd rather not due to everyday drama and all-time negativity.

I have a hearing lover, he is amazing - Drama-free and has great positive attitude all times. I so attract to him because of his positive attitude - That's what I am looking in the relationship --- Drama-free and Positive Attitude. He has terrible eye/hand coordination learning signs, so we created homemade signs that something is easy on his hands. We are very cool about it.

I'd love to run into some Deaf guy that has Drama-free and awesome Positive Attitude, it'd be more likely for me to attract to.
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lemontree said:
Are you saying all deaf guys are "drama queens?"
Click to expand...

Endy said:
Unfortunately, I kept running into them again and again in the past. For instance, Deaf gays at Gallaudet University (Oh my GOSH!) and other Deaf organizations and coffee chats. I avoided them at any cost because I did not need their drama. All I can say is that I haven't met a Deaf that is "cool" or drama-free. However, I hope I run into a Deaf guy that I find more attractive. I am much happy with my current crowd, buddies and my lover that is drama-free for a long time. I love the peace and harmony for a long time. It is like Heaven on Earth.

And indeed, I'd love to give it a try to date a Deaf guy, only if he is drama-free. It'd be fantastic and I'd be looking forward to it. That'd be new for me.
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SnAzZyStyLe2002 said:
My sentiments, exactly! I avoid the general deaf community, not *just* the deaf GLBT ones, at all costs.

Call me a snob all you like, but that's just what my own observing eyes tell me.
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Being older and experienced, what I found is that the ones that complain about the Deaf GLBT individuals being "drama queens", are generally the bigger drama queens themselves. :)
 
bkswva said:
Well... I guess it doesn't really matter...

Communication is a big deal to me, and regardless of deaf or hearing, he must be able to communicate with me on a level that we both understand what is going on... If a relationship has strain on communication, it normally doesn't end very well.

Just realized I also forgot that "chemistry" and "compatibility" are equally important, as well...
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I agree! It doesn't matter as long as there is great communication between you both.
 
Byrdie714 said:
Being older and experienced, what I found is that the ones that complain about the Deaf GLBT individuals being "drama queens", are generally the bigger drama queens themselves. :)
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My thoughts exactly. I have friends who are drama queens but I dont stereotype the deaf community as being problematic cuz of them. There are always going to be people like that in every community.
 
I am hearing.

I dated Deaf guy for months, my longest relationship.
I am ASL student, finished ASL 3. Very hard communicate with him.

Very hard learn "Deaf Culture" and how BLUNT Deaf people are. I read him as being rude, but he is signing very "straightforward". I am from English hearing world, where you "cushion" mean thoughts.

I break up with him because I don't like his jokes/personality. I don't understand his jokes. I try to "let him down" softly. I don't want to hurt him but I need to say again and again and I become more rude and blunt every time I try to break up with him because he doesn't understand.

I don't hate him, and I want to remain "friends" as much as we can be, but he hates me and wants me to stop learning sign. He never wants to see me again. I want to continue learning sign and attend local Deaf events.

I went to a local event. He gave me very mean looks, and I felt banished. The event was for ASL not for Deaf only. I think he is making drama. I can't even say hi to my friends.

:(
 
I'm a hearie, I dated a deaf guy here (Turkey), no complaints about him in bed. ;) I guess deaf people here like to gossip...but I think any time you have a community within a community, where everyone knows everyone, you are going to get that. I ran into an Iranian guy I knew in a gay bar; he was singing there and was completely gay though he said he wasn't. Within a week everyone knew and all my invitations to events dried up. I guess it at least shows us who are real friends are.
 
My sentiments, exactly! I avoid the general deaf community, not *just* the deaf GLBT ones, at all costs.
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Snazzy, on the other hand the hearing community has plenty of drama of its own.
 
xxrobot said:
I am hearing.

I dated Deaf guy for months, my longest relationship.
I am ASL student, finished ASL 3. Very hard communicate with him.

Very hard learn "Deaf Culture" and how BLUNT Deaf people are. I read him as being rude, but he is signing very "straightforward". I am from English hearing world, where you "cushion" mean thoughts.

I break up with him because I don't like his jokes/personality. I don't understand his jokes. I try to "let him down" softly. I don't want to hurt him but I need to say again and again and I become more rude and blunt every time I try to break up with him because he doesn't understand.

I don't hate him, and I want to remain "friends" as much as we can be, but he hates me and wants me to stop learning sign. He never wants to see me again. I want to continue learning sign and attend local Deaf events.

I went to a local event. He gave me very mean looks, and I felt banished. The event was for ASL not for Deaf only. I think he is making drama. I can't even say hi to my friends.

:(
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Wow! I can't imagine that. hmm, a BLUNT deaf people - nah, it is not quite true. It does the same thing for both deaf and hearing people. I wouldn't worry about that. It can be funny to see two different sides. Perhaps, the best for you to find another guy whatever you feel comfortable to communicate... Please don't waste your time to deal with him because life is short. Hope that helps.
 
Wow, I'm surprised to see that people are still talking about that topic!!

I guess it's time for me to reveal who I am. This is Luke aka the deaf guy from The Amazing Race. I just want to say that I'm appreciate that all of you jumped on and voice your opinion about the dating issue.
 
It depends on the person, really. Judging based on one or several "bad" experiences to conclude that everyone else in the same "category" isn't fair to the ones that are not well known yet. We all have our share of good and bad experiences with both deaf and hearing guys and we should not allow the bad experiences to consume our lives. Otherwise life just becomes crappy.

Hearing ability is a part of who the person is, it does not define them.
 
OrangeOreo said:
And, it's easier to keep the personal life private if I was w/ a hearing guy. W/ a deaf guy, the personal life isn't private. Y'all know how deaf community can be!

I have always wanted to date a CODA guy someday! 2 worlds in one :-p

So, which is better to date? Hearing or Deaf?
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Surely, you could be a fan of Luke. I don't think that it's you. I don't care.

I would probably say that a deaf is just a small world which is easy to recognize... My opinion is that it would be easier for you to have a deaf guy because of your actions in the shows. Actually, it is really nothing wrong for you to have a hearing guy. But, a communication is an important tool for your long term relationship. Oh boy, I can't imagine that how hard that you went thru around the world. What a great experience in your lifetime! Your mother is great and proud of you! shh! I think that your mother is bossy.
 
I'm HOH, and I don't think it would matter if I dated a deaf guy. If I did, I would most definitely learn sign so that I could communicate with him.

I personally only have had experience with hearing boyfriends, and all have always been patient with me and my hearing.
 
I'm a day too late but really i dont have the energy for dramatic monologues and gossip. i always keep my relationship if not, but most of all private.

i'm deaf naturally (coming from all-deaf family) this is rather strange because i dont need all the run-of-the-mill bullshit, i love perspective so i dont feel quite fit into deaf community, their requirements and needs left me less desired. i think mostly hearing is more compatible for me but i'm all around deaf, so i really can't win can i?

i have some friends are not deaf and sign pretty effective. unfortunately most of them are girls, and either not gay.
 
Take love where you find it. It's too precious to put limits on it.
 
for me it wouldn't matter whether my mates are deaf or hearing, as long as they can communicate with me well enuf i will be happy.
 
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