Deaf Boyfriend versus Hearing Boyfriend...

Endy said:
There you go!
Hearing person says, "None of your business." OBVIOUSLY!!

Deaf person gives information away anyway "automated at default." My theory is that Deafies have NO IDEA how valuable information is. And, Deafie thinks that any information has NO value at all. Therefore, they, without any reserve, give information away for free, at their will. I mean... freely. In another word, they hand out their personal lives to public for free. It's friggin scared to see that it may fall into some identity thief' hands. Hello??

Oddly, the officers would read you rights something along with, "whatever you say will be against you." Whatever they give out will be against themselves. It's best to think twice before saying something that MAY be against yourself. Drama is the major main cause to damage relationship. Hello??

Hearing person knows that information has worth something. They know the trades and negotiation in the business. Therefore, they'd use any information to against whoever is in their way. Clever! They usually win most times for their personal gains. Anyway, once you keep everything to yourself, keep your nose to yourself, the more it becomes more dignity, self-assurance, self-confidence, self-esteem, self-regard, self-worth and more. More people will look up at you - they would count on you, you would be more reliable and easy to trust in this manner. You would win many scores, probably promote some new position, new friends that confides in you, and this goes on. You know what I am saying? Information is pretty valuable and can use in the future when you need to accomplish your goal -- information is a weapon!

You see... Deafies fail to see that information is valuable. Drama and TMI tend to lead into major taboo. That's why I stay away from drama and I keep my information in my closet. I can reach a goal, nothing could pull me down because nobody could use any information that may against me. Welcome to the Politics. This is how information works in the trades. STOP giving information freely. TMI kills you. Drama kills you. Go clean! You will score many victories. I guarantee you. Your Call!

(endy - shut up! you are blahhing!)
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But some hearing people are unstable and unpredictable out there. Some hearing people tend to be very open minded, and crass unintentionally that may offend others. For instance, they do post unnecessary personal information on Facebook that put them in hot water. I'm not sure if anyone else has heard the story of the woman on Facebook had been ranting about her 'mean' boss who happened to be on her friend's board read her post. That got her fired. This is not only one incident.

I've met educated and uneducated Deaf people do know how to set boundaries. They are great and mellow, but not drama. Maybe you have met wrong crowd. There are several Deaf people I have met that have been struggling with their attitude and social problems, mental and emotional disorders. My Deaf friend and his friends told me that they were complaining about this Deaf girl who is crazy and loves to spread lies about him and others that are not true. She has has quite a reputation for being manipulative and spreading lies constantly to everyone just for her own attention. She doesn't know the difference between the truth and the lie. She loves to brag constantly about her graphic sex life. Not only she managed to hide his car key from him for four hours when he needed a car to go to work. She thought it was very funny, which it wasn't. Every time there is a deaf social at Starbuck or any place, he and others have to avoid her. You see, they have learned how to set boundaries to ensure they will not go through horrible experiences again.
 
If you are so worry that your "sins" will find you out, whatever they are, then don't do them. I think people who worry about privacy so much are the ones who are doing things that they regret doing, don't feel comfortable, or SHOULDN'T be doing.

Most hearing people I know don't do things that they know would get rumored around. If you worry about the Law and court, then you probably doing something you shouldn't be doing. Just saying.
 
"it's easier to keep the personal life private if I was w/ a hearing guy. W/ a deaf guy, the personal life isn't private. Y'all know how deaf community can be!"

i agrees this one.. in my experince, i try date deaf bf and dont work out cause it dont feel right cause i always think deaf is like family or best friends not for boyfriend so i end up dating hearing bf since i was 14.
 
i think this is good example of explain differnet between deaf and hearing people cause my bf always ask me why i not dating deaf and i could not think of why or explain. till i saw this post and it exactly some idea and it true. so i have better explain for him tonight. since i not good at explain or example...
 
Well, if you are deaf, then your hearing bf should not trust you either. Tell them because you are deaf, you are not trustworthy and they should not date you just like you won't date other deaf.

Personally, I like to know what's going on. I don't get to be exposed that often because my hearing is cut off from outside and have to rely one-in-one conversation. I'm not nosy though. Just trying to prevent myself from being so native about life.
 
bonkercrazy said:
"it's easier to keep the personal life private if I was w/ a hearing guy. W/ a deaf guy, the personal life isn't private. Y'all know how deaf community can be!"

i agrees this one.. in my experince, i try date deaf bf and dont work out cause it dont feel right cause i always think deaf is like family or best friends not for boyfriend so i end up dating hearing bf since i was 14.
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Thank you for vouching my experiences. It's the exact path I am on... I tried and tried with Deaf guys - It did not work out. I dated hearing guys, those guys were the best lovers.

When I was dating Deaf guys, the Drama and a lot of fights... it annoyed me. Rumors and Gossips manipulated my relationship. I told them not to believe anything. Gosh, they were so naive and gullible. Broke up every time right after the drama. Ridiculous! Pathetic!

When I dated hearing guys, less drama because we established the communication system - we sat down, set the records straight. We knew who screwed us up, etc etc etc. The Hearing relationships lasted longer more than 2 years. My longest relationships with hearings were 6 years and 8 years. These were the highest records I had than my dating relationships with Deaf guys -- less than a week or two. Nothing went beyond two weeks. See what I am saying? Hearing guys seem to understand what the drama is... and the destructive drama cause the love relationships to the doom. They know and they can prevent and cherish the importance of the relationships.

For the record, I haven't seen, met or heard of any Deaf gay relationship that lasted longer than six months. This is the fact I know so far... I know many Deaf guys dating hearing guys and I hear so many successful and healthy relationships that lasted longer than a year or two. I know a couple is 21 years longer. They are the Champion of all.

They know the boundaries, They know where to draw the line where NOT to cross -- They stay away from drama as possible as they could, that way they can protect their love relationship. THEY KNOW.
 
Lighthouse77 said:
Well, if you are deaf, then your hearing bf should not trust you either. Tell them because you are deaf, you are not trustworthy and they should not date you just like you won't date other deaf.

Personally, I like to know what's going on. I don't get to be exposed that often because my hearing is cut off from outside and have to rely one-in-one conversation. I'm not nosy though. Just trying to prevent myself from being so native about life.
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You know... if you re-read all posts in this thread that Deaf guys seem to either rather or prefer to date Hearing guys than they would date Deaf guys. The reason behind their messages already stated in every post, "Drama." Also, have you noticed that Deaf guys are comfortable with hearing guys because they are aware of the drama they can manage to get away.

They have spoken.

What is the solution for me to date a Deaf guy in a positive approach? What is the solution for all of us to able to date Deaf guys? What is the better way to accomplish this goal to date Deaf guys again?
 
I think you are stereotyping yourself. Why should a hearing guy trust a deaf guy if you can't trust them yourself
 
Lighthouse77 said:
Just trying to prevent myself from being so native about life.
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Well, I was told to make mistakes so I can learn my mistakes to make things right. Avoiding mistakes, how do you know that you are doing right thing from the wrong thing.

I have PLENTY of mistakes and I am proud of it. I turned the mistakes into life lessons. I learned a lot of great things through trials and errors. To err is human. It's okay. You can learn from all of us. This applies to relationships, you have to go through and learn what is "working" and what is "not working." You create your own solution that works for you and your partner.

See, I learned my mistakes with Deaf guys -- it was awful. I learned to cope and learn from it and make it right the way I would like it to be. I use my mistakes as my education to make everything work-able with my hearing relationships. Viola!!! My hearing relationships work!!

Yes... indeed, I'd like to have an opportunity to date a Deaf guy - only if he understands the destructive drama is and with his help protecting the relationship -- It'd be definitely wonderful for me... I would look forward to make a record how long my relationship lasts... hopefully 21 years!

Don't be afraid to make mistakes. I made mistakes. I did.
 
Lighthouse77 said:
I think you are stereotyping yourself. Why should a hearing guy trust a deaf guy if you can't trust them yourself
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How so? SHOULD I TRUST DEAF GUY??? And what point?

If a hearing guy doesn't trust a deaf, they would NOT date anyway. The matter of facts that many hearing and deaf guys are already in the relationships. If they are not trusting each other, they would be broke up a long time ago. Again, I have seen so many hearing and deaf guys in the long-lasting relationships.

Which is the nightmare of us to date a hearing or a deaf guy?

Well, personally... its a nightmare for me to date a deaf guy, if you ask me.
I may assume that you'd rather date a deaf guy or whoever you wanted... that's great. what stops you?
If you want to have a relationship with a Deaf partner, I encourage you to do so. Go, Love and be loved. Love is the greatest gift of all... LOVE!!!! Go for it.
 
Why don't you accept this person just happened to be someone you can get along , rather he is deaf or hearing. If he is deaf, would you even date him? Tell him "if you were born deaf, I wouldn't date you."
 
Hello there,

My feedback wont be considered helpful, but im a "hearing" guy and i started to date my guy who happens to be deaf...his the most likable character that i have come across with and i will learn sign languuage. but what i wanted to add was that should you gel iwht any guy irregardless, then go for it and what's stopping you?

thx
 
Endy said:
How so? SHOULD I TRUST DEAF GUY??? And what point?
If a hearing guy doesn't trust a deaf, they would NOT date anyway. The matter of facts that many hearing and deaf guys are already in the relationships. If they are not trusting each other, they would be broke up a long time ago. Again, I have seen so many hearing and deaf guys in the long-lasting relationships.

Which is the nightmare of us to date a hearing or a deaf guy?

Well, personally... its a nightmare for me to date a deaf guy, if you ask me.
I may assume that you'd rather date a deaf guy or whoever you wanted... that's great. what stops you?
If you want to have a relationship with a Deaf partner, I encourage you to do so. Go, Love and be loved. Love is the greatest gift of all... LOVE!!!! Go for it.
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Just typical stereotyping...:roll:
 
shel90 said:
Just typical stereotyping...:roll:
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Am I the only one that find the irony in the whole gossiping thing?

If a Deaf person won't date another deaf because they're afraid of the gossips within the Deaf community... yet they can't hear the gossips that is being said behind their backs in the hearing world? :eek3: :giggle:
 
souggy said:
Am I the only one that find the irony in the whole gossiping thing?

If a Deaf person won't date another deaf because they're afraid of the gossips within the Deaf community... yet they can't hear the gossips that is being said behind their backs in the hearing world? :eek3: :giggle:
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No kidding!
 
Really enjoyed reading all posts here... Too bad, there is not a hot deaf guy in my area. That's why I am stuck with cute hearies for a while.
 
I'm a hearing guy and I've dated a deaf guy. Communication was so neat between us since I learned ASL from him, but there were so many communicative non-verbal cues he saw even if I didn't want him to see them, and he didn't communicate with me much with regards to facial expressions or anything...there was a lot of weird miscommunication between us.

And as a hearing person, it was kind of hard to say sweet somethings to him when we were sleeping because he couldn't hear me unless I turned on the lights, got his visual attention and signed / lipped what I was trying to say.
 
I'm new to this forum so forgive if my posting ends up somewhere it shouldn't. I stay in Inverness in the Scottish Highlands. A few comments on here seem to point towards an underlying assumption that deaf people like to date other deaf people. That may be the case for some, but for others it's not. After all, we are all individual, and have choices. Don't let lack of ciommunication be a barrier. Sure it may take time to build up commnications - and make a genuine effort to understand each others commiunication needs on both sides - deaf or hearing. If you like the person - go for it! After all... 'Ships are safe in harbour - but that's not why we build ships!'
 
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