Deaf and Depressed in Alaska

Congratulations Chris, good for you!!!

Your moving sale stuff sounds amazing. Almost wish I were in Alaska:0

Good luck with the sale and the move and your life up North:)
 
..and remember you CAN have companies from the All-Deaf fellowship..we are all here (sort ways with billions of electrons inconventionally smashed up along the way)
cheers
 
Online conversation is no compare to in-person conversation. Tired of being alone, pushed into a dark corner and fed bulls**t all the time. I am not a mushroom.

New town, new people, new faces, new places, and the big one: Mafia ring-leader "Chief Belden" from the Wasilla Police Dept isn't nearby to discriminate against deaf people. Yes- these A$$-Holes very OPENLY discriminate against deaf, blacks, natives, people of lower financial status and they are willing to do so in writing, in public, and without shame.

-Chris
 
Hey what type of AATV do you have I have a Hustler and a Max 2.. neither run right now but I got a pending deal for a running hustler in trade for a set of plastic tracks.. are you on the 6x6world forum?
 
Its a COOT. Google "COOT ATV" and you'll see what I mean. Last one to sell locally here was in much worse shape than mine and went for $2300 bucks. I am asking a mere $475 for mine just to get rid of it and fund the fuel for going north.

-Chris
 
AlaskaStar said:
Online conversation is no compare to in-person conversation. Tired of being alone, pushed into a dark corner and fed bulls**t all the time. I am not a mushroom.

New town, new people, new faces, new places, and the big one: Mafia ring-leader "Chief Belden" from the Wasilla Police Dept isn't nearby to discriminate against deaf people. Yes- these A$$-Holes very OPENLY discriminate against deaf, blacks, natives, people of lower financial status and they are willing to do so in writing, in public, and without shame.

-Chris
Click to expand...

stay away from them
 
OP it is very serious please tell to psychiast and doctor check or specialist to doctor

it is very serious strong advise. please appointment to book for see doctor professor depression treatment. you should be appointment to prepare Mental for Psychiast or evaluation health..
I suggest to you medication help better or doctor/counsellor will tell you advise!
 
It's wonderful to read how mamy people here on AD has offered help and support.
 
Grummer said:
stay away from them
Click to expand...

Do tell how I can do that. Been pulled over and beaten because I spoke up about the felony level crimes these cops commit. They know where I live, they lnow what I drive and they know I am deaf. If the authorities are willing to do this to try to force me into submission, then whom do I take it to? The authorities? I have WRITTEN statements from them saying clearly how they are refusing to investigate the criminal activities of their officers.

My best bet is to leave this place in the rear view mirror. This includes my family whom are all mad that I am leaving because they only want me for my resources with no appreciation of what I am as a person.

I had a wife. She sabotaged my life till I left 4 years ago and roamed the state at random. Now its time to find a new home base. North it is.

And when I run out of North, then I head South. Or East. Or West.

I can solve MY PROBLEMS. I am not running from MY problems. I cannot force people to be civil, respectful or caring. Those are not my problems.

-Chris
 
Smithtr said:
OP it is very serious please tell to psychiast and doctor check or specialist to doctor

it is very serious strong advise. please appointment to book for see doctor professor depression treatment. you should be appointment to prepare Mental for Psychiast or evaluation health..
I suggest to you medication help better or doctor/counsellor will tell you advise!
Click to expand...


First, I must afford a doctor. To do that, I must have work or a job. To get job must be hearing. I seem to be stuck between hearing people and a rock.

So money = no doctor or psychiatrist. No doctor equal no help.

No help means I am on my own, like always.

So on my own I must follow the number one rule of the jungle- to always take care of number one. To that end, all bets are off, and rules do not apply. I grant not the authority of anyone to rule or govern me to that end. Self governed I have learned to become. Stay out of my personal space, do not violate me and I will not engage nor interact with silly bullshit from hearing people. Violate my space, endanger me and I will not hesitate to defend myself- to be clear here it does mean that everything whether it is bolted to the floor or not just became a weapon to defend myself and there are no rules when it comes to mass destruction of property to ensure my continued safety and well being.

The right to life also means the right to defend my life.

Walking with a limp, however, makes my foot tracks very signature and easy to track, special thanks goes to those that serve to protect their agendas.

-Chris
 
Good luck!! Change is good, it can be refreshing!!

I read eat pray love not long ago, and now I'm reading The Secret. One theme on both books is control your thoughts. They are the source of you emotions and feeling. Once you start thinking bad thoughts, it's like a downward spiral, you start feeling bad, down discouraged, which gives you more bad thoughts. One thing I've found with being deaf, you can get isolated, and have no one to talk to. This leaves us an insane amount of time to think. Sometimes up in your head is a bad place to be. Over thinking things can make you miserable. Control your thoughts, don't think of how bad things can be, think of things that can make things better. Think if things that make you feel good. If you catch your mind wandering down dark paths, think of a good memory. You're favorite smells, anything, anything that can bring you a little pleasure, feel good.

I know it sounds hokey, but it helps!
 
AlaskaStar said:
First, I must afford a doctor. To do that, I must have work or a job. To get job must be hearing. I seem to be stuck between hearing people and a rock.

So money = no doctor or psychiatrist. No doctor equal no help.

No help means I am on my own, like always.

So on my own I must follow the number one rule of the jungle- to always take care of number one. To that end, all bets are off, and rules do not apply. I grant not the authority of anyone to rule or govern me to that end. Self governed I have learned to become. Stay out of my personal space, do not violate me and I will not engage nor interact with silly bullshit from hearing people. Violate my space, endanger me and I will not hesitate to defend myself- to be clear here it does mean that everything whether it is bolted to the floor or not just became a weapon to defend myself and there are no rules when it comes to mass destruction of property to ensure my continued safety and well being.

The right to life also means the right to defend my life.

Walking with a limp, however, makes my foot tracks very signature and easy to track, special thanks goes to those that serve to protect their agendas.

-Chris
Click to expand...

it is very serious.... it is risky for your life depression confidential.. you can do your figure out way life!
Good lucky
 
smithr i DONT think alaskastar is medically depressed, he just 'depressed' as out in a strange new place...that's all
 
According to my psych eval (which I am at a loss for how to pay this doctor and the xlator...) I am dangerously depressed, should be medicated, guns taken away, and put in a hospital for my own safety as well as the safety of the people around me.

Clearly if I can't pay the $98 per hour for the xlator and the $350/ hour doctor then I sure am not able to fork over cash at the pharmacy to get medication that they want me on.

Psych eval took close to 8 hours... You can do the math. I figure if they cannot successfully collect the money in 7 years then the statute of limitations covers my ass.

In the mean time, it looks like me, my rifle and a very long walk to friend's house north of Fairbanks. Exactly 400.1 miles. It takes about 15 days to walk that distance. Anyone want to take out an insurance policy on me in case I get run over? Its not illegal...

Could be your lucky day! Like the lotto... Get a $1Million policy and you not have to split it with other winners...

If the end plan is walking then I will be dragging a pair of steel cables with caltrops attached to ensure that the vehicle doesn't get away when it runs me over from behind...

-Chris
 
Chris,

I hope this move meets the needs of your body, soul, and spirit.

I pray that you have a safe journey.

Reba
 
Grummer said:
smithr i DONT think alaskastar is medically depressed, he just 'depressed' as out in a strange new place...that's all
Click to expand...


I strong advise my opinion respect..

Medical is very costly spending to control your medical group home.. I am lucky especially on no pay for costly Government for cover for my health no costly. Gov'n decide to pay for review for me disability
Support to Caregiving and Doctor. and psychiast professor handle.

I have some alots of on my private associate reason. I have alots of betters adjustment.

CHMA Is costly pay for associate for spending specialist health expensive for my health and disablity. I have reason diagnoise suffer almost long times

failure on some illness. I found it out disagnose. it is serious illness.

Mental is Forbidden is very strictly Approval license to under to my caregiving.

But medical. whom is psychiatrist follow up.. caregiving experiment observe to patient to quality person.. psychiast wise.

They handle on everything. It is risk on for medical is dangerous chemical..

psychiatrist will decision agree to policy to follow review Mental law Act Strictly,

whom is care-giving responsibility job. Caregiving responsiblity powerful enforcement law.


But She told me want to down medical reduce. I attending 3 or 5 months to psychiast to follow up with to family physician responsibility. I agree to two people argue to me. sight..


Have protect to insecure to health and healthly eveything fine reason implementation
 
Alot of your doom gloom comments aren't too different than my dads a year ago. He lived in a small town in Oregon. Has v.a. has medicine. Has doctors. Im using him as a Soundboard rather than mine since I don't relate to your situation .. but his attitude was similar. Why? Well life is a bitch sometimes but he was bored. Lonely. Didn't fit in town.. he's hearing. Has disability income.. yet felt like feeding his body to the birds.. it wasn't until someone slapped him silly (expression) and he practically left most of his materials and moved to sunny ca and is closer to friends and family and a good dose of vitamin d (the sun) now he's alive... happy. Has a whole new outlook for life..
Sometimes just making the leap in change is all was needed.. if you're seriously considering to become a void, what can it hurt to give a change a try.. and seriously just let go of the past. It will just be a huge circle you trek going nowhere. And lastingly forgive anybody who hurt u. This frees you from them. All u need is to show your skills and just one person to appreciate it and it will grow from there. Just my 2 cents.
 
AlaskaStar said:
Well, I am doing it. Moving north to Fairbanks. these bigots here in Wasilla-Palmer-Anchorage!

This weekend having a moving sale. Got all sorts of goodies up for sale...
Amphibious ATV, 1967 Chevy C30 Flatbed with rare independent rear suspension (90% restored), 4 tractors, ATV tires, tools, 6' satellite dish, cars, plows, engines, car tires, more engines, more tools, power axles, not much electronic gizmo stuff or clothes, but lots of stuff that men go nuts over.

Estimated weight of the stuff in the moving sale is close to 75K pounds of stuff, with more to add to it as I go along.

I procured an old F250 4x4 Truck, and renting a trailer- packing up my tools, the 2 tractors I am keeping, and books and making a one-way ticket north.

Family not happy I am leaving, but they choose to alienate everyone and make my life hell, so I am leaving. Finally.

-Chris
Click to expand...



Good luck, Chris!
 
Well, so far so good? Maybe? Had a little help getting here. Truck dashboard burst into flames as I was leaving Wasilla. Then getting loaded onto the 40' flatbed the deck fell through needed a crane truck to help.

So I have been here since the 22nd of July, and working, and trying to stabilize my health. Don't get me wrong, being given a small list of things (Rebuild this, make this work, fix this) is nice because I am left to my own devices and I can work at my own pace, which is typically high quality at moderate to high speed.

However, it's lonely.

Recently decide to fix my health problems, because I am suffering mass internal bleeding. Doctor did tests and a CT Scan, and my liver plus one kidney has all but shut down. Been told I got about 8.5 years to live.

So, I am not sure what to make of all that, but it shall be an interesting 8.5 years, and hopefully not a painful time.

And the doctors are hearies, which means I have issues there... they brought in an interpreter and the interpreter didn't sign. They talked to my friend who was taking notes of what wasn't interpreted. It was really insulting to be deliberately ignored like that.

Then the receptionist got stupid, and on the 16th of August (Friday), we are setting up next appointment, so she types MONDAY on the computer screen, then she writes Wednesday, August 16th. Well... the next time that the 16th of August lands on a Wednesday happens to be the year 2017. So if I live that long I have an appointment?

Some people are very special, and I'm not sure whether to ask someone to slap them upside the head for me (Don't want to get any stupid on my hands now... rumor is that it's highly contagious!) or just make stupid drooling faces at them while picking my nose and mimic them... such difficult choices...

-Chris
 
Thanks for the update. I'm sorry that it's not more positive for you. The doctor/interpreter situation is a disgrace.

I hope that the prognosis for 8.5 years is wrong. I would definitely pursue a second opinion (with a better interpreter next time).

Hang in there.
 
Back
Top