Daughter's N6 Activation.

[Annie09Z]

Let me quote Einstein for you...
View attachment 22642

Love it, they sure do think they are, don't they?

 

[DeafDucky]

1. There's a handy little feature called the 'ignore list'. Anyone you are that strongly pissed off at can go on there. I know that I've been put on others' lists for far far less.

2. I do hope you will stick around and not let others get under your skin (which obviously they did and I can see why). Human nature- been there done that- but if the forum (or rather the 4 people) keeps riling you up, best to just delete the bookmark and never come back or at least take a hiatus. There are many many more people on this forum than the ones you are zeroing in on (including lurkers I might add). I am not sure why you are saying that the moderator is attacking you- he is trying to be impartial and your posts do come off as argumentative and attacking as well as some other posters- I've seen this play out time and again in other threads- nothing new (no I'm not taking sides... I am not a parent- just an uncle).

I wish you well.

signed,
Lurker in many CI threads though i will likely never get one.

 

[Reba]

. . .
And yes, the people I am surrounded by are a heck of a lot more trained to deal with these issues than any of the internet know-it-all's on here, that's for certain. So, if you think that because you are someone who has been abused, or wears a CI, somehow makes you an expert, you really need to take a good hard look in the mirror, and realize who really has the problem here.

I should show all this to our ENT and the Family Assistance Manager here at work, and see what she says. I bet it'll be a real head shaker over this lunacy.

How many of the people with whom you are surrounded grew up deaf or hard of hearing? How many of them have deaf or hard of hearing immediate family members? How many of them have raised deaf or hard of hearing children? How many of them have CI's, or even know someone with a CI? How many of them associate with deaf or hard of hearing adults or children? How many of them work with deaf or hard of hearing people?

How many of the CI users or deaf-child parenting threads at AD have you read?

Please feel free to show this thread to anyone you wish. We have nothing to hide.

Most of the members here are concerned about deaf children being raised in hearing households because they've experienced the possible pitfalls.

I'm not deaf but I have a degree in a related field, have worked in that field professionally many years, and have deaf adult friends. During my career, I've dealt with many pro and con situations that deaf people face. Hearing people and organizations still have a lot of misinformation and mythology concerning deaf people. We hearing people have a lot to learn. I'm not an expert but I'm willing to learn from the experts.

 

[Condor1970]

^^^ Exactly. I'm no expert, which is why I don't blab about telling others how to raise their children. I only do it when someone gets in my face about it. I know what's right for me and my family. I keep it that way.

And yes, I have figured out some are very anti-CI, but how in the world am I supposed to know that right off hand? Even then, what makes anyone so high and mighty to tell me what I need to do?

I will say this. In this forum I have noticed a very different kind of culture. Not much unlike the proverbial nosy mother-in-law. Kind of humorous actually. In most forums I frequent, they are occupied by men (mainly), because it revolves around other activities women usually aren't interested in. Like hunting, boating, wood working, machining or fishing for example. Though one forum I am on, there are tons of women hunters now. It's funny how the sport/lifestyle is catching on. Anyway, I digress..

"In general", the etiquette among mature men in those forums/topics is to mind ones own business when posts are made, unless they specifically make a request for advice or opinions. Grown men in those forum/topic environments are a bit different in that regard. They tend to have more respect for each other without being so presumptuous or nosy.

Now, I am not singling out gender. Please don't make that assumption. There's plenty of men on here who behave this way too, so it's not gender specific. My mother-in-law remark was meant to be a humorous analogy. I'm just saying what kind of forum discussions I'm used to dealing with. This forum is definitely a different level of character when it comes to what kind of responses you can expect when you bring up anything to do with your private life. It's interesting, but also a bit disappointing.

 

[Bottesini]

Robin, I',m not second guessing my parenting at all. I actually wanted to come on here and tell a story, and maybe make some online friends about a shared subject. guess I was wrong. All I got was insulted, and called a criminal.

We actually do have a support network of people we talk to through work etc. I just thought it would be informative to post what happened, and share a bit of my story. I failed to realize no one here seems to be going through the same thing by having a daughter who was disobedient and lied to her parents I guess that never happens to anyone. I also don't expect everyone to agree with me. I do expect not to be attacked personally and accused of child abuse
Then, when I more than justified my case by being in the right, you then accuse me of being someone who just wants affirmation, and then you all whine about how your lives were so horrible. Ok, I get it, some of you had it rough growing up. So did I. I was a severely bullied skinny boy in school. But I don't go around boo-hoo'ing about it. Never asked for that either. Is it nice to share stories? Sure, but I never once asked for the failed advice of people who have no idea what they are talking about.

And yes, the people I am surrounded by are a heck of a lot more trained to deal with these issues than any of the internet know-it-all's on here, that's for certain. So, if you think that because you are someone who has been abused, or wears a CI, somehow makes you an expert, you really need to take a good hard look in the mirror, and realize who really has the problem here.

I should show all this to our ENT and the Family Assistance Manager here at work, and see what she says. I bet it'll be a real head shaker over this lunacy.

I am baffled about why you care what you characterize as a bunch of deaf morons who can't comprehend your posts think.

Why stay here if it's that upsetting to you?

My stepmother is a psychologist, but it would be rude to let you know her analysis of any of this, so I will just keep that to myself.

 

[Reba]

. . .
On a whim, I emailed the Family Assistance Manager here at work, and asked her thoughts on this thread, so I sent her a link.

You are free and welcome to share our threads but I'm curious as to why you do so. It's like you need to continually by reaffirmed.

A very nice lady. She has been a licensed therapist for over 30 years, and also deals with rape victims and issues of domestic violence. She also has 4 children and some grandchildren, one of which is disabled. Her sister, happens to be visiting today, and also read the first thread that got locked. She happens to be a Catholic Nun with decades of missionary work under her belt. An unbelievably kind and gracious woman.

I don't doubt that she's nice. How much experience has she had with the deaf community?

Within minutes, she emailed me in my office, and suggested to get off the forum. After reading the locked thread, and also part of this, she said it is clear that almost no one here has any real knowledge, and to please don't take any of their advice.

How much knowledge does she have about deaf people, their culture, and their community? How many deaf people does she interact with? That's rather astounding that she would advise you on something she's not acquainted with.

I don't know anything about nuclear physics so I would never presume to tell someone who works in that field that they don't have any real knowledge about the subject.

Ironically, you don't take her advice either.

I chuckled and told her I am not taking their advice, but I got very offended and made the mistake of fighting back after they started calling me a child abuser. Gee, I can't imagine why I would get offended by that.

Feeling offended is understandable. How you reacted . . . well, for a person who purports to be rational that was rather ineffectual. But we've moved on from that. Time for a new start.

She made it clear that it seems the people on here aren't interested in apologizing or admitting they are wrong, because many of them are in pain as well. Never take advice from, or in a sense try to bandage a wounded wild animal. They snap back with good intentions that inevitably do more harm than good.

Their answers were honest and heart-felt. Maybe you're not used to that. Often, hearing people are not comfortable with such bluntness. If you aren't abusive then you have nothing to worry about. If you're open-minded, you might find some valuable resources and surprising allies here. I've read thru many threads where AD members have provided very constructive advice to hearing parents.

Me thinks her advice is far more worthy.

It doesn't matter; you've already told us that you don't take her advice.

 

[Condor1970]

I am baffled about why you care what you characterize as a bunch of deaf morons who can't comprehend your posts think.

Why stay here if it's that upsetting to you?

My stepmother is a psychologist, but it would be rude to let you know her analysis of any of this, so I will just keep that to myself.

Well, you might as well. Being rude on here doesn't seem to be some of the member's inhibition. LOL

A psychologist huh? I fail to see how a psychologist would even feel they have enough real data to make any useful comments on this at all, since she doesn't even know me. Everyone I deal with does know me, and my family, so their advice to some extent really does form a real portfolio of useful assistance. For a psychologist to make any kind of determination or diagnosis as to what is going on concerning my daughter based only on what is in these horribly insulting threads would not only be completely unprofessional, but also makes me wonder if your comment is sincere. Which I am starting to doubt. No real professional psychologist would dare do that.

 

[DeafDucky]

Well, you might as well. Being rude on here doesn't seem to be anyone's inhibition. LOL

A psychologist huh? I fail to see how a psychologist would even feel they have enough real data to make any useful comments on this at all, since she doesn't even know me. Everyone I deal with does know me, and my family, so their advice to some extent really does form a real portfolio of useful assistance. For a psychologist to make any kind of determination or diagnosis as to what is going on concerning my daughter based only on what is in these horribly insulting threads would not only be completely unprofessional, but also makes me wonder if your comment is sincere. Which I am starting to doubt. No real professional psychologist would dare do that.

One could turn that right around to what you did. You emailed an entire thread to people you know- these people don't know the posters from a hill of beans and yet.. they instantly made determination based on just that ONE thread.

 

[Condor1970]

You are free and welcome to share our threads but I'm curious as to why you do so. It's like you need to continually by reaffirmed.


I don't doubt that she's nice. How much experience has she had with the deaf community?


How much knowledge does she have about deaf people, their culture, and their community? How many deaf people does she interact with? That's rather astounding that she would advise you on something she's not acquainted with.

I don't know anything about nuclear physics so I would never presume to tell someone who works in that field that they don't have any real knowledge about the subject.

Ironically, you don't take her advice either.


Feeling offended is understandable. How you reacted . . . well, for a person who purports to be rational that was rather ineffectual. But we've moved on from that. Time for a new start.


Their answers were honest and heart-felt. Maybe you're not used to that. Often, hearing people are not comfortable with such bluntness. If you aren't abusive then you have nothing to worry about. If you're open-minded, you might find some valuable resources and surprising allies here. I've read thru many threads where AD members have provided very constructive advice to hearing parents.


It doesn't matter; you've already told us that you don't take her advice.

I have no desire to be reaffirmed. Like I said I showed her, because I thought she would find it interesting. My concern was more about what is wrong with them, and not needing affirmation for myself. My daughter is deaf, but doesn't behave anything like this. And I'm sorry, but for someone to just come off and insult me like that, does tell me that there is something wrong with them. They obviously have issues that I am not going to even touch, as it's none of my business.

To answer your question. I only showed her this link once, and she gave some quick advice about dealing with forums online, which I now admit I am kind of ignoring, as she suggested I get off the forum. She does have a normal job to do. LOL

Anyway, she is the main therapist for all the families here at the hospital that have children with implants (which is a lot, since our hospital is one of the main hospitals that do implants), along with many other families that have children that deal with disabilities, to women who are treated by her for domestic violence and even rape victims. She's been doing it a long time. She probably knows more about real human nature than anyone I've ever run into. That's why her wounded animal remark seemed a little harsh on the surface, but the analogy was spot on.

Anyway, I have to finish up. I have wasted enough of my day here. I do have a job to do, along with a kitchen to remodel, and family to take care of.

 

[AlleyCat]

:wow: is all I can say. I don't think in my 10 years on this forum have i ever encountered a more condescending jerk.

And not for a second do I believe this was shown to the therapist or he response. Too much of this is totally surreal.

 

[Reba]

. . .
A psychologist huh? I fail to see how a psychologist would even feel they have enough real data to make any useful comments on this at all, since she doesn't even know me…..

Same could be said for your friends who critiqued AD's posters.

 

[Calvin]

This thread continued with argumentative... if you want to come here and seek information or feedbacks be decent and show respect. There's no reason to be arrogant and be defensive to be insulting intelligence or whatnot. This is public forum for people to come in, not everyone has same opinions. Most people here is strangers and we don't know everybody personally here.

This argumentative is getting ridiculous... enough is enough please.

This thread is done.