Daughter's N6 Activation.

[Reba]

Once again, sitting on a high horse, analyzing a situation I already fully understand, and you do not. It's obvious the people on here have nothing better to do with their lives, which is why I think I most likely won't be spending much more time on this forum. I didn't spend much time on here anyway. I only cam here seeking a bit of online support for info and maybe a few ideas, but this is absolutely terrible. I wouldn't doubt if you're all Pm'ing each other, and insulting my so-called horrible parenting of my children. I'm probably right, aren't I?

But whenever someone gives you ideas, if they don't mesh with what you've already decided, you insult them. So what's the point?

I can't speak for anyone else but I've pm'd no one and no one has pm'd me about your thread. Hard as it might be for you to believe, our lives don't center around your threads.

The gang mentality of the group of forum members on here (which was my reference of "these people")) that have ganged up and attacked me personally is absolutely atrocious behavior. Yet even the Moderators are blaming me. Like a gaggle of old women sitting around a room gossiping all day long, and sitting on their high horse, waving their finger at everyone they don't agree with.

Do you not realize that you're the one who grouped individual members into one "these people" gang? AD members are individuals.

Why is it important to you to have everyone agree with you? If you're right about your parenting choices then you don't worry about other people's opinions. It doesn't hurt to give consideration to their viewpoints but you aren't compelled to accept them.

When I have a whole hospital full of professional doctors, nurses, chaplains and other therapists who all agree with me 100%, and only a few online forum members who obviously have had a lot of personal issues that don't, should really tell you something.

Well, you certainly are blessed to have advisors who already agree with you 100% without bias and have no personal issues in their lives. It's almost miraculous. Yes, it really does tell me something. You don't want advice--you want affirmation.

You should all be ashamed of yourselves.

For what? Being honest?

If you mean for intentional rudeness, I agree. Otherwise….

 

[Reba]

I got my CI activated a month ago. I went in with very very very low expectations and just want help with lipreading as hearing aids were no longer giving me the sound access I needed to lipread better due to my hearing levels dropping. It has been a month and because I had such low expectations, it has met them. If I had those high expectations and expected to be like those people on the YouTube videos, I would definitely be disappointed big time. No, I dont understand speech at all but I expected that. Some days I hear good and other days, I hear worse than I did with my hearing aids.

Thats why I HATE those YouTube videos....they dont show the real work behind the CIs. Also, some hearing people at my work and in my hubby's family had high expectations and they all think I can hear like a hearing person. When I tell them no, that I dont, they looked at me as if I was lying. No thanks to those DAMN YouTube videos and the other helicopter parents of successful CI users for blogging about their children's success with the implication that their children heard perfectly as soon as their CIs were activated and we all know that's BS on their part. At least you are honest that it takes work. I applaud you for that.

There's such a wide range and variety in results that testimonials can be at best useless or at worst misleading (true for any surgical procedure). Each CI user should compare "my before" to "my after" rather than compare "my results" to "your results." I should think that would be less frustrating.

 

[caz]

Is it possible someone like shel could pm her lots on here got CI it maybe good idea to pm them they got first hand knowledge maybe they can be email her

 

[Reba]

Is it possible someone like shel could pm her lots on here got CI it maybe good idea to pm them they got first hand knowledge maybe they can be email her

There are some others who recently got CI's, too, such as Ambrosia, Angel and Mike. Maybe they have some pointers.

 

[AlleyCat]

I have no idea why somebody would post their personal family struggles and expect EVERYONE to agree with him/her. There are millions of people on forums. I guess our opinions (even though I didn't voice any in his two threads) don't amount to anything. Seems like a total waste of time on his part if he didn't want any feedback he wouldn't be happy with, and call us morons instead. Way to go.

 

[rockin'robin]

I have no idea why somebody would post their personal family struggles and expect EVERYONE to agree with him/her. There are millions of people on forums. I guess our opinions (even though I didn't voice any in his two threads) don't amount to anything. Seems like a total waste of time on his part if he didn't want any feedback he wouldn't be happy with, and call us morons instead. Way to go.

Yeah...have noticed he is so arguementive,,,guessing frustration must be taking a toll on him...??...maybe 2nd guessing his parenting?...idk...

 

[Condor1970]

Robin, I',m not second guessing my parenting at all. I actually wanted to come on here and tell a story, and maybe make some online friends about a shared subject. guess I was wrong. All I got was insulted, and called a criminal.

We actually do have a support network of people we talk to through work etc. I just thought it would be informative to post what happened, and share a bit of my story. I failed to realize no one here seems to be going through the same thing by having a daughter who was disobedient and lied to her parents I guess that never happens to anyone. I also don't expect everyone to agree with me. I do expect not to be attacked personally and accused of child abuse.

Against better judgement, I actually showed this to my wife, and she almost cried at how horrible you people are for jumping to the conclusion and accusing me of being an abusive parent with no proof what so ever. She's so fed up with the garbage gang mentality, she couldn't even read it all. She got furious after the first remark about child abuse, and I'm a lot more patient than her.

Still no apologies from you, just everyone telling me how to raise my child, and telling me what I need to do. I already know what to do, and I'm already doing it. Have you ever thought maybe it's incredibly rude to jam your failed advice and horrible insults down other peoples throats unless they specifically ask for it? I don't need your babysitting.

Seriously, think about it. Not one apology from anyone after all those insults. Yet the moderator blames me for defending myself after the rest of you accused me of being a criminal. What the heck is wrong with you?

I never once asked for advice, because I already know how to handle my own family. You're the ones who didn't bother to read what I wrote, and initially just called me a child abuser for no reason.

Then, when I more than justified my case by being in the right, you then accuse me of being someone who just wants affirmation, and then you all whine about how your lives were so horrible. Ok, I get it, some of you had it rough growing up. So did I. I was a severely bullied skinny boy in school. But I don't go around boo-hoo'ing about it. Never asked for that either. Is it nice to share stories? Sure, but I never once asked for the failed advice of people who have no idea what they are talking about.

And yes, the people I am surrounded by are a heck of a lot more trained to deal with these issues than any of the internet know-it-all's on here, that's for certain. So, if you think that because you are someone who has been abused, or wears a CI, somehow makes you an expert, you really need to take a good hard look in the mirror, and realize who really has the problem here.

I should show all this to our ENT and the Family Assistance Manager here at work, and see what she says. I bet it'll be a real head shaker over this lunacy.

 

[rockin'robin]

Robin, I',m not second guessing my parenting at all. I actualyl wanted to come on here and tell a story, and maybe make some online friends about a shared subject. guess I was wrong. All I got was insulted, and called a criminal.

We actually do have a support network of people we talk to through work etc. I just thought it would be informative to post what happened, and share a bit of my story. I failed to realize no one here seems to be going through the same thing. I also don't expect everyone to agree with me. I do expect not to be attacked personally and accused of child abuse.

Against better judgement, I actually showed this to my wife, and she almost cried at how horrible you people are for jumping to the conclusion and accusing me of being an abusive parent with no proof what so ever. She's so fed up with the garbage gang mentality, she couldn't even read it all. She got furious after the first remark about child abuse, and I'm a lot more patient than her.

Still no apologies from you, just everyone telling me how to raise my child, and telling me what I need to do. I already know what to do, and I'm already doing it. Have you ever thought maybe it's incredibly rude to jam your failed advice and horrible insults down other peoples throats unless they specifically ask for it? I don't need your babysitting.

Seriously, think about it. Not one apology from you disgusting gossip mongers. Even the moderator blames me for defending myself after the rest of you accused me of being a criminal. What the heck is wrong with you?

I never once asked for advice, because I already know how to handle my own family. You're the ones who didn't bother to read what I wrote, and initially just called me a child abuser for no reason.

Then, when I more than justified my case by being in the right, you then accuse me of being someone who just wants affirmation, and the you all whine about how your lives were so horrible. Never asked for that either. Is it nice to share stories? Sure, but I never once asked for the failed advice of people who have no idea what they are talking about.

And yes, the people I am surrounded by are a heck of a lot more trained to deal with these issues than any of the internet know-it-all's on here, that's for certain. So, if you think that because you are someone who has been abused, or wears a CI, is somehow an expert, you really need to take a good hard look in the mirror, and realize who really has the problem here.

WOW!...you know how to dish it, but can't take it when some disagrees with you....why am I getting the feeling you have come here...(we didn't go to you)...to argue??...If we are such morans, under educated....then stick with "your experts" (as you say)...

 

[drphil]

The other thread="big trouble etc" was locked this morning by Calvin

 

[Condor1970]

I got hot under the collar, and admit I was wrong for being so harsh. What strikes me is how no one else seems to be willing to even remotely apologize for calling me a criminal. It's not like me making only a couple bad remarks, it came from numerous people who literally made the claim that I was a child abuser. I thought I was dealing with adults. I am, but adults of a different character. That is clear now.

On a whim, I emailed the Family Assistance Manager here at work, and asked her thoughts on this thread, so I sent her a link.

A very nice lady. She has been a licensed therapist for over 30 years, and also deals with rape victims and issues of domestic violence. She also has 4 children and some grandchildren, one of which is disabled. Her sister, happens to be visiting today, and also read the first thread that got locked. She happens to be a Catholic Nun with decades of missionary work under her belt. An unbelievably kind and gracious woman.

Within minutes, she emailed me in my office, and suggested to get off the forum. After reading the locked thread, and also part of this, she said it is clear that almost no one here has any real knowledge, and to please don't take any of their advice.

I chuckled and told her I am not taking their advice, but I got very offended and made the mistake of fighting back after they started calling me a child abuser. Gee, I can't imagine why I would get offended by that.

She made it clear that it seems the people on here aren't interested in apologizing or admitting they are wrong, because many of them are in pain as well. Never take advice from, or in a sense try to bandage a wounded wild animal. They snap back with good intentions that inevitably do more harm than good.

Me thinks her advice is far more worthy.

 

[rockin'robin]

Well...isn't that dandy!...and furthermore, I did not insult you on the other thread...I do believe in discipline and consequences when raising children...Some disagree with me too...but so what? they are entitled to their opinions also.

Seriously, stick with your "experts"....You'll get more pats on the back!...You're asking for accolades here....Not everyone here will give it to you...we are diverse and different opinions.

 

[rockin'robin]

I got hot under the collar, and admit I was wrong for being so harsh. What strikes me is how no one else seems to be willing to even remotely apologize for calling me a criminal. It's not like me making only a couple bad remarks, it came from numerous people who literally made the claim that I was a child abuser. I thought I was dealing with adults. I am, but adults of a different character. That is clear now.

On a whim, I emailed the Family Assistance Manager here at work, and asked her thoughts on this thread, so I sent her a link.

A very nice lady. She has been a licensed therapist for over 30 years, and also deals with rape victims and issues of domestic violence. She also has 4 children and some grandchildren, one of which is disabled. Her sister, happens to be visiting today, and also read the first thread that got locked. She happens to be a Catholic Nun with decades of missionary work under her belt. An unbelievably kind and gracious woman.

Within minutes, she emailed me in my office, and suggested to get off the forum. After reading the locked thread, and also part of this, she said it is clear that almost no one here has any real knowledge, and to please don't take any of their advice.

I chuckled and told her I am not taking their advice, but I got very offended and made the mistake of fighting back after they started calling me a child abuser. Gee, I can't imagine why I would get offended by that.

She made it clear that it seems the people on here aren't interested in apologizing or admitting they are wrong, because many of them are in pain as well. Never take advice from, or in a sense try to bandage a wounded wild animal. They snap back with good intentions that inevitably do more harm than good.

Me thinks her advice is far more worthy.

Obviously...you are questioning your parenting skills!!...Otherwise, you would not be calling the "experts" as you say....

 

[Condor1970]

Robin I know you didn't insult me. You and I are on the same page with how I have managed the situation. I fully understand some others may have a different opinion, or deal with a situation in a different way. I respect that. I do not respect others who jump out and start calling me a child abuser.

That's not an opinion on how to deal with a situation... It's an accusation of criminal activity, and it isn't funny at all.

Yet when I fight back, all of a sudden I'm the only bad guy out of the many who insulted me. You don't see a problem with that?

And no. I am not questioning my parenting skills. I have been talking with her and the doctors for months about her rehabilitation, and issues that arise. I already know what I need to do as a parent. I wasn't calling her for any affirmation at all. I was simply curious as to what her opinion would be concerning the behavior of everyone else on this forum. She gave me some insight as to how to deal with them. Best advice was to simply leave them alone. Her wounded animal analogy makes a lot of sense.

 

[soutthpaw]

Interesting that 2 people that seem to disagree with your parenting allows you to label all the members here into a group that is all attacking you. I read back through the post and it seems that I and others have given you useful and fair info. You complain how much effort your daughter is putting into this. Yet how much effort did you put into learning sign language and allowing your daughter too as well? That way you might meet her half way?? You seem to be frustrated because your daughter is not a CI poster child success story! Taken me 11 years to finally get decent mappings for understanding speech. Still of little use in noisy environments. There is all some people no matter how good the listening conditions are that I cannot understand well at all.

 

[rockin'robin]

Robin I know didn't insult me. You and I are on the same page with how I have managed the situation. I fully understand some others may have a different opinion, or deal with a situation in a different way. I respect that. I do not respect others who jump out and start calling me a child abuser.

That's not an opinion on how to deal with a situation... It's an accusation of criminal activity, and it isn't funny at all.

Yet when I fight back, all of a sudden I'm the only bad guy out of the many who insulted me. You don't see a problem with that?

And no. I am not questioning my parenting skills. I have been talking with her and the doctors for months about her rehabilitation, and issues that arise. I already know what I need to do as a parent. I wasn't calling her for any affirmation at all. I was simply curious as to what her opinion would be concerning the behavior of everyone else on this forum.

All I can say is that some members are anti-CI...I'm not about to apolize for what other members said...and since you feel the feedback you got here is all wrong...then like I said, stick with your experts,,you said you found them more "worthy" than the AD members opinion(s).

That says a lot.....It's good to be consistent when parenting children....A hard job....You make the decisions and you stick with them. Good Luck!

 

[Condor1970]

Interesting that 2 people that seem to disagree with your parenting allows you to label all the members here into a group that is all attacking you. I read back through the post and it seems that I and others have given you useful and fair info. You complain how much effort your daughter is putting into this. Yet how much effort did you put into learning sign language and allowing your daughter too as well? That way you might meet her half way?? You seem to be frustrated because your daughter is not a CI poster child success story! Taken me 11 years to finally get decent mappings for understanding speech. Still of little use in noisy environments. There is all some people no matter how good the listening conditions are that I cannot understand well at all.

Uh. No. There were immediately 4 different people who started questioning how I handled it, and how it was so bad, when it was obvious I had no interest in their internet quality parenting skills.

Then, a few more piled on, when I mentioned how it is such a big investment, and she had to be focused and stick with it after she begged for the CI. Then the name calling started with me being a tyrant, and how it is just like child abuse. This is ridiculous. Maybe your ability to comprehend what was written is different than mine.

When all the child abuse stuff came up, that's when I lost my cool, and fought back. Sorry for loosing my cool, but I don't like people accusing me of not just being a bad father, but being a criminal. I can't believe everyone thinks I'm such a bad guy when everyone else started the argument. How is that not hard to comprehend?

And the gal I talk to about all this is right. It seems no matter what I say, there is always someone on here who thinks they know better, and will give their so called advice. Even when they have no credence to do so, and have no clout what so ever to make it. In a way, this is fascinating to watch.

 

[Condor1970]

All I can say is that some members are anti-CI...I'm not about to apolize for what other members said...and since you feel the feedback you got here is all wrong...then like I said, stick with your experts,,you said you found them more "worthy" than the AD members opinion(s).

That says a lot.....It's good to be consistent when parenting children....A hard job....You make the decisions and you stick with them. Good Luck!

Not all the feedback was wrong. I won't even go so far as to say the feedback I even don't agree with was wrong. Just different. It's when they started calling me a Tyrant and what I did was tantamount to child abuse is when it went from opinion to accusations of criminal activity. This occurred in the first few posts of the thread. I even told them they were "wrong" when I did go through an exhaustive exercise in giving her love and affection first because I knew she was having a hard time adapting during the summer. Yet after finding out how she lied, that's when I had to be a real parent, and put my foot down. No matter what I say, everything I do in their eyes is wrong, because I am a horrible child abusing father to them. They've made up their minds, which is why they refuse to admit the way they insulted me was wrong. Because they don't see it that way. They think their insults and accusations were justified, and I am the bad guy, period. Even when I point out the obvious, I am still the bad guy. That's why I say the internet gang mentality really has infested this forum. It's kind of sad actually.

I understand you weren't trying to patronize me. I wasn't trying to insult you either. Yes, it is obvious there are many on here who are anti-CI. That is obvious now.

You watch. This will continue, even now after I say all this. Someone will come on and tell me what I need to do, and that what I'm doing is wrong. Or, how I have some kind of issue, and my daughter is going to suffer, etc. It's not what I am doing, because what I am doing is also working... and in a good and healthy way. It's the fact that what I am doing doesn't agree with them, no matter how good and beneficial the results are, they can't handle that. I'll still be a Tyrant in their minds.

 

[rockin'robin]

Not all the feedback was wrong. I won't even go so far as to say the feedback I even don't agree with was wrong. Just different. It's when they started calling me a Tyrant and what I did was tantamount to child abuse is when it went from opinion to accusations of criminal activity. This occurred in the first few posts of the thread. I even told them they were "wrong" when I did go through an exhaustive exercise in giving her love and affection first because I knew she was having a hard time adapting during the summer. Yet after finding out how she lied, that's when I had to be a real parent, and put my foot down.

I understand you weren't trying to patronize me. I wasn't trying to insult you either. Yes, it is obvious there are many on here who are anti-CI. That is obvious now.

The member that called you a "tyrant" is anti-CI...There are members too, that were anti-CI...but later on got the CI.

 

[dogmom]

If you don't want deaf people's opinions, why are you on a deaf forum?

 

[soutthpaw]

Let me quote Einstein for you...