Dating Before a Divorce

If you've been seperated for over a year, then I don't see why you couldn't..
 
Tousi said:
Mathilda, just for the sake of argument, what would be the point of jealousy raising it's ugly head between two people in the process of divorcing one another?
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It has been known to happen ... as Koala and Shel later stated in their posts.

Either the green eyed monster or emotions flare up when seeing the ex having g/f or b/f first and you feel so alone, even though all love is lost.
 
If you are not divorced then it is wrong because you are still technically married. It does not matter how long you have been separated or what he is doing.
 
jasin said:
If you are not divorced then it is wrong because you are still technically married. It does not matter how long you have been separated or what he is doing.
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I used to firmly believe exactly what you said. I think a big part of me still does.
 
jasin said:
It is cheating. How about that?
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Not if both parties agree to move on and date others while separated. It doesnt matter what others think..only what the separated couple thinks and what works for them.
 
Tousi said:
It seems to me folks in the middle of a divorce would be so busy attending to that, to bring closure and take a deep breath before going ahead with something new and major in their life. :dunno: So what's the rush, anyway?
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Exactly. Jumping into a new realtionship before you have resolved the old one is never a good idea. It is always wiser to take a little time to tend to yourself before bringing someone new into your life. It lessens the baggage you bring with you, and gives a better chance that the new relationship will be successful. Relationships don't fail just because one person has issues. They fail because both have issues, and have developed some unhealthy ways of relating to another. Best to take the time to figure our what your own issues are and deal with them. You'll be happier in the long run. A new relationship cannot fix what was wrong in the old one. Failure to achieve closure will only result incontinuing the same behavior and thought patterns that create the realtionship problems.
 
jillio said:
Exactly. Jumping into a new realtionship before you have resolved the old one is never a good idea. It is always wiser to take a little time to tend to yourself before bringing someone new into your life. It lessens the baggage you bring with you, and gives a better chance that the new relationship will be successful. Relationships don't fail just because one person has issues. They fail because both have issues, and have developed some unhealthy ways of relating to another. Best to take the time to figure our what your own issues are and deal with them. You'll be happier in the long run. A new relationship cannot fix what was wrong in the old one. Failure to achieve closure will only result incontinuing the same behavior and thought patterns that create the realtionship problems.
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I undy about not jumping into a serious relationship so soon after a marriage has fallen apart but what about casual dating?
 
shel90 said:
I undy about not jumping into a serious relationship so soon after a marriage has fallen apart but what about casual dating?
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Casual dating is fine. As long as it is kept casual, you don't run into the problems with using a new intimate relationship to avoid closure of the first.

A lot of people (men and women both), go from one intimate relationship immediately into another intimate relationship thinking that is what they have to have in order to maintain their identity. What they really need is to spend time finding their identity, and then take that into a relationship. You can't give something to someone else unless you have it to start with. And relationships are about giving, not taking.

But, yeah, going out to a movie or for a nice dinner with someone whose company you enjoy, but with no strings attached, is actually healthy. It keeps you from isolating yourself with your problems, and gives you a bigger social network for support. You just have to stay firm on the "not ready for a serious relationship yet, because I need some time for myself for a while.
 
final divorce to be declare, then its good to go.

dating around during legally marriage- no way because its may cause bizarre.

Just be safe: wait until the divorce to be declare as 100 %. Sounds easy? just hold your pants.
 
Pepsi said:
That is what I am talking about
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That is what I did.

Even after separating, my hubby and I still lived together for a year cuz of the lease. He started his relationship with his girlfriend while still living with me.F or revenge and to settle any doubts about my decision for the split, I got him tipsy one night 6 months after he started dating her and had sex with him even though he was in a "committed" relationship with her. After that, any doubts were totally quelched cuz if he was capable of doing that then he would continue to cheat on me if we tried to get back together. I know it was bad of me but I was so angry and jealous of him looking so happy and in love. Then 6 months after that, the lease expired and we were able to live separately so that was when he moved in with his girlfriend. That was when I started dating casually with no strings attached for 4 years. While living with him but "separately", I refused to go on any dates even casual ones. I still felt "married" to him so once he was out of my daily life, I was finally able to focus on myself and my life without him.

Hope that makes sense?
 
shel90 said:
That is what I did.

Even after separating, my hubby and I still lived together for a year cuz of the lease. He started his relationship with his girlfriend while still living with me.F or revenge and to settle any doubts about my decision for the split, I got him tipsy one night 6 months after he started dating her and had sex with him even though he was in a "committed" relationship with her. After that, any doubts were totally quelched cuz if he was capable of doing that then he would continue to cheat on me if we tried to get back together. I know it was bad of me but I was so angry and jealous of him looking so happy and in love. Then 6 months after that, the lease expired and we were able to live separately so that was when he moved in with his girlfriend. That was when I started dating casually with no strings attached for 4 years. While living with him but "separately", I refused to go on any dates even casual ones. I still felt "married" to him so once he was out of my daily life, I was finally able to focus on myself and my life without him.

Hope that makes sense?
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I know what you mean Shel, it does make sense :ty:
 
Pepsi said:
I know what you mean Shel, it does make sense :ty:
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Oh and in addition to that, it took 3 years after living separately for our divorce to be finalized cuz of money so I remained married to him until 2004 even though we ended the marriage in 2000 and lived apart starting in 2001.

Geez...now that I have typed that out, it does make me look bad on paper that I married my 2nd hubby in 2005. OOPS! :eek3:
 
shel90 said:
Oh and in addition to that, it took 3 years after living separately for our divorce to be finalized cuz of money so I remained married to him until 2004 even though we ended the marriage in 2000 and lived apart starting in 2001.

Geez...now that I have typed that out, it does make me look bad on paper that I married my 2nd hubby in 2005. OOPS! :eek3:
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Shel,it does not make you look bad because your marriage was over for along time.Just because it took awhile to get your divorce it was still over and that is the point I was trying to make,my marriage died along time ago.
 
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