Dating Before a Divorce

That's depend...

I personally think they should wait until they are divcore.

I won't be surprise if #A person dates #C person, while #A and #B are sereprate, which is causing #B to feel hurt/offend/jealous...

Most common quote; "everything will be fine". Well, not always. =/
 
I say go for it. I don't see anything wrong with dating during the seperation as long the marriage is really over as long he don't mind you goes out dating. The same token as you don't mind him going out dating. You need to go out to enjoy yourself and being in company too.
It is best to meet your date outside somewhere and not at your door, that if you are living under the same roof as your soon to be ex. Just at that moment while you are in the bathroom or in the bedroom getting ready, your soon to be ex answer the door first to see your date there may make both feel uncomfortable, kind of edgy feeling.
Also avoid places your soon to be ex likely to go to for dining his date such as his favorite place so that he don't accuse you for spying on him. That could flares up into a nasty divorce accusing each other for this or that. That has happened to one of my friend a long time ago. She went out with a couple of her friends and 2 kids to a restaurant having a get together. Then half way through her meal, one of the kids told her that her soon to be ex is dining with his date not far from their table and when one of the kid been to the bathroom and then back to the table, her ex spotted my friend at her table causing her to hurried up to leave. Then later, he accused her for spying on him and got very nasty to her. She didn't even know he was dining his date there. So yeah be careful, if you see him there with his date, just go elsewhere. It's better be safe.
 
I would wait until the divorce is final because if you are fighting for child custody, it could get messy as ex's do use the fact that their partners were dating while still married to them.
 
Every individual is different, You cannot compare every marriage spouse to another spouse. If the marriage is honestly over for good and there's no chance of reconsider then the spouse can concentrate on moving on even if spouse is emotionally strong enough to start dating. People do it all the time. There are absolutely no fast rules about when you should start dating again after your relationship ends. Some people believe that it can take up to two years to get over a divorce, but that depends on how much the spouse had loved their husbands or wives. ;)
 
My ex hubby moved in with his girlfriend right after we split up and lived with her while my ex and I were still legally married. AT first, I was jealous even though the marriage was over and I wasnt in love with him. I think I was jealous cuz he had someone and I didnt but I had chosen not to jump into a serious relationship right away. Emotions do weird things..lol.

I dated while legally married (ex hubby had already moved out by then) but didnt bring my dates around when my daughter was around cuz it was too fast. Stayed single but dated for 4 years before getting into a serious relationship with my current hubby.

I refused to get into a serious relationship immediately for several reasons...one was cuz I needed to "discover" myself as I had lost my identity in the marriage, learn how to depend on myself (I had been with my ex since I was 17 so I never experienced depending on myself completely), and I was still legally married so I didnt feel right to get into a serious relationship right then. I wanted a complete clean break from my old life before becoming serious with someone else.

My ex's relationship with his 1st girlfriend after our split lasted 5 years before falling apart cuz it was a rebound relationship or so what his ex told me. By then, I had already moved on and starting my new life with my current hubby.

What worked for me may not work for u or others. It is really individual.
 
It also depends on what state you live in. If you live in a no-fault state then dating, etc. doesn't come into play when figuring divorce settlements. However, that may not hold true for custody issues because the environment the children are in with their parents (and with the people they're dating) does matter.

As far as whether it's ethically/morally right .. I think if a husband/wife are separated for the purpose of taking a breather and trying to work on the issues in their marriage, then they should NOT be dating others. Because then they're not giving their own marriage a chance to survive.

But if the same husband/wife are separated and have declared this marriage is over for good, then I think the issue of dating all depends on whether you're emotionally ready to be with someone else so soon. In my case, when my ex and I split, it was for good. So I did start dating others nearly right away, but it was just very casual as I was not at all ready for another serious relationship. Now that it's been a little over 2 years since we split and divorced, I am finally involved with a wonderful guy.
 
I say it depends on situation for each person. That was last thing on my mind after I separated from ex wife. Although I feel fine now, I took a long time to heal and just personally wasn't ready for that.
 
Is that me or is every women cold heart to dating someone in front of hubby before divorce? :cold:
 
Heck, my ex didnt even wait until we were separated, she was dating new guy for yr before we separated :lol: hence the separation and divorce
 
hohDougRN said:
Heck, my ex didnt even wait until we were separated, she was dating new guy for yr before we separated :lol: hence the separation and divorce
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Dang! Unbelievable what lengths people would go through before a separation and divorce. I am sorry, she did this to you :hug: Move forward and don't look back, in my book, once a cheater always a cheater period.
 
Pepsi said:
When I say the marriage is over I mean that there is no saving it.
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Ok..thanks for clarifyin' for me. :)

Well, if both of you agree on something that both of you will not conflict upon each other's dating with someone else, then both of you are good to go as the way both of you had plan on it. There should be no problem as long as both of you are just " friends " for the sake of your children. It's important for the children to know that both of you are friends so you both can work out on visitation rights or what ever there is for the children. Just make them happy is all that matters. :)
 
Maria said:
Ok..thanks for clarifyin' for me. :)

Well, if both of you agree on something that both of you will not conflict upon each other's dating with someone else, then both of you are good to go as the way both of you had plan on it. There should be no problem as long as both of you are just " friends " for the sake of your children. It's important for the children to know that both of you are friends so you both can work out on visitation rights or what ever there is for the children. Just make them happy is all that matters. :)
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:gpost: You've said it better. I agree on that. That is fair on each other and be on a friendly term for the sake of their children. ;)
 
Maria said:
Ok..thanks for clarifyin' for me. :)

Well, if both of you agree on something that both of you will not conflict upon each other's dating with someone else, then both of you are good to go as the way both of you had plan on it. There should be no problem as long as both of you are just " friends " for the sake of your children. It's important for the children to know that both of you are friends so you both can work out on visitation rights or what ever there is for the children. Just make them happy is all that matters. :)
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Koala said:
:gpost: You've said it better. I agree on that. That is fair on each other and be on a friendly term for the sake of their children. ;)
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I agree wholeheartedly.

Just make sure that the children are ready for you to be dating.
 
Byrdie714 said:
Just make sure that the children are ready for you to be dating.
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Matter of fact there are many of them who do not wish for their parents to be remarried. After the divorce of my mother and father, my dad had dated a new woman, and he announced that he was going to marry her, We took it so hard that we became very upset, but it took us some time to get to know her, and the more we got to know her, she turned out to be a sweet person, then we learned to accept her. So when it comes to children, they will find it difficult to accept a new person it takes time, a lot of time for them to come around.
 
If, you are not seperate. Someday, you will see yourself and your partner on "Cheater" TV
 
I got married in '97 and separated in 2000. Then I met a new guy at the end of December 2000 and my divorce was finalized in 2003. (that's 6 years of "marriage" altogether) not something i was proud of but I had my reasons. My ex kept moving from one place to another and quitting his jobs. He was hard to catch. It was costing me more and more money so I got to the point where I couldn't pay my lawyer then. I finally got that paid off and put it in the legal ad and waited 30 days and finalized my divorce. then 4years later (2007) I remarried.

my point is, just make the right choice and the right move on how you want to live your life. that also involve the children too.

I personally think you know in your heart that you're going to get a divorce and agreed to it, that's fine but don't date while living in the same house. I would wait til I moved out or he moved out and start from there. If there is someone that interest you now, be his friend first til you get that situation taken care of. it wouldn't be fair for the "friend" to wait for you to leave.
 
Oh, you wanted to date someone, so you can forget about your husband?
 
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