Dating and Dining on a FIRST Date, do you....

The bill for dinner comes, who pays for it?

  • The gentleman, always treat a lady right even if the date isn't great

    Votes: 16 84.2%

  • The lady, who says everything gotta be traditional?

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Split the check, no matter what the outcome of the date is.

    Votes: 1 5.3%

  • If the date goes sour, I just walk out

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Depends on the person I'm dating at that point

    Votes: 2 10.5%
  • Total voters
    19
Daredevel7 said:
BTW, I didn't vote because, it's too based on the gender and how bad the date is. I base it on the situation. If a guy asked me out, I would be a bit put off if he wanted to go dutch. If I asked them out, I'd pay. After a few dates, we eventually would go dutch or take turns in paying. I'd never let someone pay for me ALL THE TIME.
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same here - i mean, if I invited a guy out, I'm paying. there's no insiduous sliding of the bill across the table although if he fights me and wants to pay it himself, i'm not going to get into fisticuffs with him about it. :)
 
DeafCaroline said:
it's a pretty simple question that she asked. she wasn't talking about the entire realm of dating outside of a restaurant date.
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Pretty much, my question was directed to a first date, not several with the same person or anything long term. I'm talking about the beginning of it all :)

This guy I had a date with (first meet) was at a Starbucks, I figured low key and we had both came up with the idea. I ordered myself a tea, and he waited until I was done with my purchase then ordered for himself. Which led me to ask "is that how it works or was he not being a gentleman?" It's been 6 years since I've dated so I'm rusty on the basics lol.

I'm not in it for the free meal, I'm in it to at least make a new friend and if it blossoms into a relationship then hey awesome! I'm perfectly happy with a picnic at a park :)
 
ladysolitary85 said:
Pretty much, my question was directed to a first date, not several with the same person or anything long term. I'm talking about the beginning of it all :)

This guy I had a date with (first meet) was at a Starbucks, I figured low key and we had both came up with the idea. I ordered myself a tea, and he waited until I was done with my purchase then ordered for himself. Which led me to ask "is that how it works or was he not being a gentleman?" It's been 6 years since I've dated so I'm rusty on the basics lol.

I'm not in it for the free meal, I'm in it to at least make a new friend and if it blossoms into a relationship then hey awesome! I'm perfectly happy with a picnic at a park :)
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ah, that's a little different if you two were talking about where to meet and all that. whereas, if he said outright, "may I invite you out for a coffee" then he should be paying.

was this a blind date? had you met him in real life before this starbucks meeting?
 
I always paid for it regardless the turnout of the date. Sometime she tend to say "I'll pay for the tips!" You know, going on a date, she made an effort to come and meet together for dinner. You know on women's side, she spent lot of time fixing herself up, drive out and try to find a place and such... let say in a last minutes if I asked her to split or she have to pay... how would she feel after all those hours fixing herself up, driving alone during dark night, finding a place...is it a waste of time? You know?
I may view it differently, it's more of thanking her to come even if our date didn't work out well. I pay for it. You know with my wife, I asked her to come to this resturant, and the bill was close to $134.00. It's a $50 meals per person type resturant.... and I know myself that she couldn't afford it. It's just not because I'm trying to impress her, it's because I cook all my life... and I know many resturants that serve the best. So, I chose that. So, during our date, we spent almost two hours there and we forgotten our dinner.. oh well...
 
DeafCaroline said:
I don't agree at all. if I were going out with friends - we all take care of our own bills. note to self: avoid dating guys who think women are just out for a free ride.
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The question is, "if you are going out". As I stated, if you have a choice between going out with a friend and having a date with a guy who is going to pay the meal which do you choose?
 
VacationGuy234 said:
Jiro, you're an intelligent guy and I respect you, but you really need to hang around more women.
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Hmmm...I'm friends with Jiro on facebook, he's always around lots of women. Pretty ones too. He's that guy in the center of a group of them.

I think you're biased because of your online dating experiences.
 
VacationGuy234 said:
The question is, "if you are going out". As I stated, if you have a choice between going out with a friend and having a date with a guy who is going to pay the meal which do you choose?
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if friends, we take care of our own bills, and i already mentioned that on this thread.
 
If going out with friends along with date, I would chip in to pay for my date, just two of us, and let other split their own.
 
Daredevel7 said:
I have to laugh at this thread.

The way I see it, there are two scenarios that could be at play here.

Scenario 1: VacationGuy and Co keep experiencing these cases where the women they meet online get free meals out of them. Seems like they attract those type of women. Doesn't sound good for VG's judgement of character.

Scenario 2: VacationGuy and Co go out with girls offering to pay for their meal on their first date because it's the courteous thing to do. Women don't go out with them again, not because they want free meals out of them, but because they just weren't interested in them. For someone who perceive themselves as "a great guy", this can give the illusion that those women only wanted a free meal. Doesn't sound good for VG's judgement of self.

Just sayin'.
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OK, you take the cheap shot at me which is no different than Co putting a hot picture of herself up in this thread, but you can't honestly tell me that you don't know deceptive women. Truly, you don't live in a utopia were nobody ever tries to deceive, right?

And, as for my character, I've never asked anyone out whom I didn't intend to have a relationship. Furthermore, I'm sure you'll be hard pressed to find other men with that characteristic. Just sayin...
 
VacationGuy234 said:
OK, you take the cheap shot at me which is no different than Co putting a hot picture of herself up in this thread, but you can't honestly tell me that you don't know deceptive women. Truly, you don't live in a utopia were nobody ever tries to deceive, right?

And, as for my character, I've never asked anyone out I didn't intend to have a relationship. Furthermore, I'm sure you'll be hard pressed to find other men with that characteristic. Just sayin...
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who's Co?
 
DeafCaroline said:
Hmmm...I'm friends with Jiro on facebook, he's always around lots of women. Pretty ones too. He's that guy in the center of a group of them.

I think you're biased because of your online dating experiences.
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Well, at least now his answers make sense.

I have to say, you all make great points, but I have not failed to notice that no woman has chosen, "The lady, who says everything gotta be traditional?" despite what everyone says on this thread. I dare say, some people might not be up to practicing what they preach, but that's just me.

Great picture, you really look fantastic!
 
DeafCaroline said:
ah, that's a little different if you two were talking about where to meet and all that. whereas, if he said outright, "may I invite you out for a coffee" then he should be paying.

was this a blind date? had you met him in real life before this starbucks meeting?
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Nope this was a first meet. I didn't mind paying for the drink but had just wondered what people these days think should happen with the bill on a first date.
 
vacation guy - i'm going to let you in on a secret, no matter how much women like equality and demand equal rights (as well as they should), they're still women who like men to be men. it's biology.

p.s. are you hitting on me? ;)
 
ladysolitary85 said:
Pretty much, my question was directed to a first date, not several with the same person or anything long term. I'm talking about the beginning of it all.
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Hah! I did not know this was poll was about the first date until it is now clarified. Maybe I'm the only person who believed it was about something else otherwise.

That changes pretty much all my replies earlier, all of my responses have been based on assumption that the relationship had already progressed past the first and that there has been some progress already.

Any first date, the only time I'd let a female pay is if she totally demanded and insisted to. Otherwise it's my move.
 
DeafCaroline said:
vacation guy - i'm going to let you in on a secret, no matter how much women like equality and demand equal rights (as well as they should), they're still women who like men to be men. it's biology.

p.s. are you hitting on me? ;)
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It's actually and a wicked and evil curse, but however you want to describe it, "a secret" or "declaration of war" it's fine with me.

There is light at the end of the tunnel!!
 
DeafCaroline said:
light at the end of the tunnel?
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Not too bright though...

OP, don't worry about who pays for the date. If things works out fine, but don't settle for anyone who doesn't treat you right.

(Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to put on my galoshes and wade through the bullshit that is the Replublican Primary)
 
As a single gal, who has done a lot of online dating (because seriously, who actually meets at bars anyhow) and therefore has had a lot of first dates, here are my 2 cents:

My philosophy puts the ball into the "asker's" court. If he asks me, I would expect he pays. If I ask him, I would expect to pay (although I've been out with guys who insisted on paying even then, but I was fully expecting to pay). If we both kind of negotiate going out and it's on even footing, I expect we both chip in, although I typically genuinely offer to pay, and often he offers as well.

As for women expecting dinner? I suppose there are many. Heck, I've gotten "winks" from online guys that I didn't think were a match at all, and my friends (married and thinking I must be miserable as a single) really encouraged me to go out with him anyway, because "you never know, and at least you'll get a nice meal"...frankly I value my time more than a nice meal. I won't go out with someone just to get a free meal. And I really DO appreciate it when a guy offers to buy dinner for me.

I kind of take it as a bad sign if he wants to split the bill...like he thought the night wasn't worth the price of my entree!
 
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