Dating and Dining on a FIRST Date, do you....

The bill for dinner comes, who pays for it?

  • The gentleman, always treat a lady right even if the date isn't great

    Votes: 16 84.2%

  • The lady, who says everything gotta be traditional?

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Split the check, no matter what the outcome of the date is.

    Votes: 1 5.3%

  • If the date goes sour, I just walk out

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Depends on the person I'm dating at that point

    Votes: 2 10.5%
  • Total voters
    19
Guy pays... you don't have to go anywhere fancy or expensive but you gotta treat a girl good
 
VacationGuy234 said:
Then you avoid guys who think realistically and you won't go out with guys who are not generous so what does that leave you? Fortunately, there is a bigger pool of these types of men than you can imagine.
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Of course I don't date guys who are not generous - I don't make a point of dating or even befriending anyone of any gender who are selfish and self-centered and are not generous with others. it's not a quality i admire.

and if the guy is going to assume i just want a free meal, then yeah, of course i am not going to date a guy who thinks that low of me.
 
DeafCaroline said:
Yeah, that's happened to me a few times where the guy fully expected to get laid after taking me out for a fancy meal. It's like _"oh, i didn't realize you expect me to prostitute myself for free food". it's so offensive they would ever have such expectations.
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The point is a second date not sex, but I see what you are saying and I agree.
 
DeafCaroline said:
Of course I don't date guys who are not generous - I don't make a point of dating or even befriending anyone of any gender who are selfish and self-centered and are not generous with others. it's not a quality i admire.

and if the guy is going to assume i just want a free meal, then yeah, of course i am not going to date a guy who thinks that low of me.
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The question isn't weather he thinks it. The question is how does he know it? He can't and that is were the money issue comes into play.
 
VacationGuy234 said:
The question isn't weather he thinks it. The question is how does he know it? He can't and that is were the money issue comes into play.
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well, if he's the one who's inviting a woman out on a romantic date, he should pay. it's not very classy to invite someone out then expect them to pay for themselves.

just like it wouldn't be very classy if i made a meal and put in all the labour into cooking then handed my date a bill for his share of groceries and labour.
 
VacationGuy234 said:
The question isn't weather he thinks it. The question is how does he know it? He can't and that is were the money issue comes into play.
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look. I have no idea what are you babbling on about.

this is very simple. when you ask a girl out on date, you are expected to pay for it. if you don't like to pay for a date, then you better hope that there's a girl out there who doesn't mind a cheapo. but when you eat out with a female friend, it is NOT expected of you to pay for her food.

simple enough, yes?
 
Jiro said:
look. I have no idea what are you babbling on about.

this is very simple. when you ask a girl out on date, you are expected to pay for it. if you don't like to pay for a date, then you better hope that there's a girl out there who doesn't mind a cheapo. but when you eat out with a female friend, it is NOT expected of you to pay for her food.

simple enough, yes?
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You would think it's simple enough but apparently its not.
 
I have to laugh at this thread.

The way I see it, there are two scenarios that could be at play here.

Scenario 1: VacationGuy and Co keep experiencing these cases where the women they meet online get free meals out of them. Seems like they attract those type of women. Doesn't sound good for VG's judgement of character.

Scenario 2: VacationGuy and Co go out with girls offering to pay for their meal on their first date because it's the courteous thing to do. Women don't go out with them again, not because they want free meals out of them, but because they just weren't interested in them. For someone who perceive themselves as "a great guy", this can give the illusion that those women only wanted a free meal. Doesn't sound good for VG's judgement of self.

Just sayin'.
 
Daredevel7 said:
I have to laugh at this thread.

The way I see it, there are two scenarios that could be at play here.

Scenario 1: VacationGuy and Co keep experiencing these cases where the women they meet online get free meals out of them. Seems like they attract those type of women. Doesn't sound good for VG's judgement of character.

Scenario 2: VacationGuy and Co go out with girls offering to pay for their meal on their first date because it's the courteous thing to do. Women don't go out with them again, not because they want free meals out of them, but because they just weren't interested in them. For someone who perceive themselves as "a great guy", this can give the illusion that those women only wanted a free meal. Doesn't sound good for VG's judgement of self.

Just sayin'.
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Oh-Snap-the-daily-show-9352783-152-184.gif
 
I do feel this thread needs a little clarificaiton - some of us are probably talking about different stages of the relationship. If I'm already "the item" with someone, I can see myself paying more frequently!

Materialistic women are not my flavor. If I invite someone out and they're having fun, good times for both of us. I won't have second thoughts on paying. But when I'm seeing they're like "hey can you buy this, this and that for me!" it raises red flags and I'm concerned and how the bill is paid, you can tell from that sometimes in the beginning of a friendship even (not limited to relationships) I've liked it when a girl says "Oh, no way, not this one. I can take this and you get the next time." It's not being cheap at all in my perspective, it's about a character trait or personality they grew up with.

Daredevel7 said:
I have to laugh at this thread.

The way I see it, there are two scenarios that could be at play here.

Scenario 1: VacationGuy and Co keep experiencing these cases where the women they meet online get free meals out of them. Seems like they attract those type of women. Doesn't sound good for VG's judgement of character.

Scenario 2: VacationGuy and Co go out with girls offering to pay for their meal on their first date because it's the courteous thing to do. Women don't go out with them again, not because they want free meals out of them, but because they just weren't interested in them. For someone who perceive themselves as "a great guy", this can give the illusion that those women only wanted a free meal. Doesn't sound good for VG's judgement of self.

Just sayin'.
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So it is for sure the girls VacationGuy met did no evil and are not wrong, he is the bad guy here? That's a little biased, yo! ;)
 
naisho, well that's different, OP was asking if she should foot her half of the bill if she's taken out on a date.

I say hell no.
 
naisho said:
I do feel this thread needs a little clarificaiton - some of us are probably talking about different stages of the relationship. If I'm already "the item" with someone, I can see myself paying more frequently!

Materialistic women are not my flavor. If I invite someone out and they're having fun, good times for both of us. I won't have second thoughts on paying. But when I'm seeing they're like "hey can you buy this, this and that for me!" it raises red flags and I'm concerned and how the bill is paid, you can tell from that sometimes. I've liked it when a girl says "Oh, no way, not this one. I can take this and you get the next time." It's not being cheap at all in my perspective, it's about a character trait or personality they grew up with.


So it is for sure the girls VacationGuy met did no evil and are not wrong, he is the bad guy here? That's a little biased, yo! ;)
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Nah of course not. In my first scenario, I said that they were indeed women who just want free meals, but, see, I'm talking about "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." type of thing...

Michael Scott: "You know what they say, fool me once, strike one, but fool me twice... strike three."
 
BTW, I didn't vote because, it's too based on the gender and how bad the date is. I base it on the situation. If a guy asked me out, I would be a bit put off if he wanted to go dutch. If I asked them out, I'd pay. After a few dates, we eventually would go dutch or take turns in paying. I'd never let someone pay for me ALL THE TIME.
 
ohhh... I missed the part the OP said she was invited and wondered if she should pay. My bad there. :shock:

I didn't vote either. This whole definition of dating is sketchy for me, it reminds me of the time I had a lengthy debate with the SO about what it is to be considered "dating". I always viewed dating meant you are trying your hand at someone to as potential relationship material, while others may have thought that it means when it was established it wasn't just a friendship anymore, as in being more serious.

It's sort of like the situation with "seeing someone" vs "dating" - which one means that they are deeper into the relationship?

I learned not everyone actually sees the terms the same...
 
naisho said:
ohhh... I missed the part the OP said she was invited and wondered if she should pay. My bad there. :shock:

I didn't vote either. This whole definition of dating is sketchy for me, it reminds me of the time I had a lengthy debate with the SO about what it is to be considered "dating". I always viewed dating meant you are trying your hand at someone to as potential relationship material, while others may have thought that it means when it was established it wasn't just a friendship anymore, as in being more serious.

It's sort of like the situation with "seeing someone" vs "dating" - which one means that they are deeper into the relationship?

I learned not everyone actually sees the terms the same...
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it's a pretty simple question that she asked. she wasn't talking about the entire realm of dating outside of a restaurant date.
 
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