Boys: At What Age Would You Consider....

rockin'robin

rockin'robin

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is appropriate to give them condoms?

My oldest son (now 18), I gave them to him at age 15 after finding out he was sexually active......Now my middle son was 15 last July. He's more sports inclined, but the girls are now "catching his eye." He has sideburns, which he does shave off, a mustache and fuzz on his chin, he's looking so manly! The girls are calling....

I'm a single parent (female), and I have somewhat "preached" abstinance to all 3 of my sons....but to be on the safe side, I did provide them condoms.

I'm wondering if I've done the right thing? It's not like I've given them permission to have sex, I told them that I wish they would wait. But knowing teenagers and their hormones and not being able to be around them 24/7....I felt like giving them condoms would be better.

What do you think?
 
I know that when I was growing up some kids were sexually active as early as 7th grade.
 
If you are doing this for religious reasons, teach them the beauty of sex and why it is important to wait. Research what your religious belief say about it and discuss it with your sons.

You can still teach them the beauty of love and marriage anyway without the religious part. Tell him how you feel if he doesn't wait (disappointed but will be there to help him before he get himself in more trouble) and how you would feel if he did wait (proud of him). And teach them that they have less risks if they wait. Getting a girl pregnant while in high school will make it hard on both of them to have a better education and he can't depend on that girl to get an abortion either. In fact, you should just tell him that if he feel he is not ready for marriage, then he should hold off sex until he is ready. (of course, you may want to tell him why it is important to get education first as low income is hard on any marriage)

other than that, I don't know if you are religious or not so but most people who are strongly for abstinance don't promote condoms before marriage whatsoever. But I plan on tell our son about condom and it's purpose of it but I am going to treat the whole subject on sex as a marriage thing because if he does decide to wait til marriage, at least he know what to do on his honeymoon if they feel they are not ready for a child or have not been tested for STD. If he decide not to wait, he still know what to do.

oh and I give him a condom and tell him, you never know you are going to "elope" LOL
 
15's a good age but I'd do it as early as 14

I'm wondering if I've done the right thing? It's not like I've given them permission to have sex, I told them that I wish they would wait. But knowing teenagers and their hormones and not being able to be around them 24/7....I felt like giving them condoms would be better.
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You're looking out for the best interests of your kids and, if the hormones do get the best of them, at least you know you did everything you could to prevent any undesirable outcomes.
 
btw, I think boys need to be taught self control... I really don't know why girls are the ones to be blamed for everything. People are harsher on Girls when it come to sex. Guys should be taught respect if a girl have mixed feelings or unsure about the whole thing. He should not be wanting something out of the relationship (sex) especially if both of them are in high school.
 
everyone should be taught safe sex instead of abstinence, in my opinion. you did the right thing.
 
anakin said:
everyone should be taught safe sex instead of abstinence, in my opinion. you did the right thing.
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:roll:

I'm rolling my eyes at these things: the word "Everyone" (it really not your business how one teach, There are plenty of people who don't teach it) and "do not teach abstinence"
 
Lighthouse77 said:
:roll:

I'm rolling my eyes at these things: the word "Everyone" (it really not your business how one teach, There are plenty of people who don't teach it) and "do not teach abstinence"
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well, they're going to find out one way or another. why not teach them safe sex just so they could have the information? you know, things just happen in the heat of the moment..

i'm also a strong believer in the "test drive before you buy the car" thing.
 
Alrighty! Thks so much for the input here....we are not a "super" religious family, but I'm old fashioned and believe in doing the right thing, regardless.

When I gave my 15 year old the box of condoms, I told him "I don't mean to embarrass you...but put them in ur drawer, and of course a few in ur wallet, in case something happens and you get out of control." And also, if you need to talk to someone, a male, then speak to ur guidance counselor at school. He didn't actually say anything! Just "OK" (and not looking me in the eye).

It's not really a "comfortable" subject for boys, having to talk to their mothers about sex....But I do keep the lines of communication open at home, regarding STD's, AIDS and teenage pregnancy. It's not easy being a teenager these days when all of this is going around and their hormones are raging.

My oldest (18), his girlfriend has taken the shot to keep her from getting pregnant. At least they are being somewhat responsible...but even tho' I don't approve of teenage sex and know more than likely they will eventually "break up"...there's only so much anyone can do.
 
anakin said:
well, they're going to find out one way or another. why not teach them safe sex just so they could have the information? you know, things just happen in the heat of the moment..

i'm also a strong believer in the "test drive before you buy the car" thing.
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and most don't want to treat sex as a car.
 
Banjo said:
Better to teach both, not just one.
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now that i think about it, yes.. abstinence is the only way to protect yourself from getting STDs and pregnancy 100%. we do have to realize that shit happens, and it's good to know about safe sex.
 
You did the right thing, RR. I know that you're kids are doing well. You've been a good parent. You should give yourself credit for that. It's hard to step back and let the kids to make their own decisions.
 
anakin said:
most people aren't as pure as you think, though.
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and most regret it, and tell their kids they wished they did things differently.

But there are people who have waited. I know you find that hard to believe but it had happened even in today modern world.
 
Smart decision, education is the key!

rockin'robin said:
is appropriate to give them condoms?

My oldest son (now 18), I gave them to him at age 15 after finding out he was sexually active......Now my middle son was 15 last July. He's more sports inclined, but the girls are now "catching his eye." He has sideburns, which he does shave off, a mustache and fuzz on his chin, he's looking so manly! The girls are calling....

I'm a single parent (female), and I have somewhat "preached" abstinance to all 3 of my sons....but to be on the safe side, I did provide them condoms.

I'm wondering if I've done the right thing? It's not like I've given them permission to have sex, I told them that I wish they would wait. But knowing teenagers and their hormones and not being able to be around them 24/7....I felt like giving them condoms would be better.

What do you think?
Click to expand...
 
Lighthouse77 said:
and most regret it, and tell their kids they wished they did things differently.

But there are people who have waited. I know you find that hard to believe but it had happened even in today modern world.
Click to expand...

i don't regret having sex before marriage. i think it's silly to wait, but to each his/her own. it's not about who you have sex with the first time.. it's about the connection between you and the other person you have at the moment. quality over quantity.

i know there are people who wait. let me tell you a story about my sister.

my sister's 19 now, but she was 17 when this happened. she was going to wait until marriage to have sex. she was in a relationship with a boy who proposed to her (ugh, long story.. they are broken up now). the boy agreed to wait with her. there was a point in time when they just did it in the heat of the moment. my sister was in a lot of pain.. more than what the typical pain should've been. so she went to a gynecologist since she was now sexually active (she had no reason to go to one before).. turns out she has a prolapsed uterus. that's why sex hurt so much for her. if she waited until marriage and not seen a gynecologist, she wouldn't have known about her uterus and have a horrible honeymoon.. she's on BC now as a treatment.

:dunno:
 
It's not really appropriate to shame someone for their sex life, even if you don't approve.
 
I have to agree with lighthouse. But I am different because I am homeschooling my children. Be honest with you I kinda wish that I never learned from sex ed because it really did make me sooo confuse and mix emotion and got pregnant so young. Oh well. But that is okay. Everyone have to learn their mistakes..
 
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