Any hard-of-hearing ppl raised in the hearing world?

I felt the need to try to do something to advocate for ASL and deaf education in hearing schools. The stories I have read on this website have really touched me. I just started the petition a few days ago so I need all the signatures I can get. Please view and sign. Pass along to anyone you know that will help the cause. The signing process is very short. I made it simple. Thanks Heidi More Deaf education in Public schools Petition
 
rushabh said:
Completely deaf (but with a cochlear implant since 1998 - turned off when not communicating) and grew up in a hearing world.

I know a couple of deaf people through family friends but that's it.

The hearing world can be cruel at times but I wouldn't give it up for anything. The key to making peace with the hearing world is to set your expectations low with regards to communication. I don't expect to understand everything 100% of the time, don't expect to be part of group conversations, don't expect to use the phone normally (except for webcaptel which is not that useful due to time lag and deaf accent), etc. If you can figure out creative ways to work around that, then you're golden.
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I have lowered my standards with the hearing world because I,now, have the Deaf world to set my high expectations for communication now and so far, they have been met.
 
Mockingbird said:
I'm 14 now, and severely hoh.

I had perfectly normal hearing and a normal life until I was nearing my third birthday, when I was diagnosed with neuroblastoma in the neck. It had already spread and was close to crushing my windpipe so it needed to be treated with an aggressive chemo that destroyed most of my hearing in both ears, and treatment continued for about another year until I was in remission, and then more months until I was finally taken off the drugs entirely. During that time I became a hardcore 3 year old videogame enthusiast.

I was outfitted with hearing aids in both ears shortly after I lost my hearing because it was expected, and they certainly helped a lot. Looking back those were rather tinny but they were loud enough and I learned to imitate other people and take context clues. My speech started to become slurry so as soon as I started kindergarten I had to start taking speech lessons. I rarely talked to other people and didn't even notice that talking to other people was an important part of life. I was reliant on teacher aid and was eventually placed in special ed so I could have 5 minutes of reading time while the teacher chased around manic bipolar kids and explained syllable by syllable how to read "Hop on Pop" for an hour and a half. (I don't have anything against these kids but damn if it wasn't a crappy set up for everyone involved)

During that summer my mom learned from a friend how to use closed captioning on the TV. Before I had shunned TV because I thought it was just a bunch of pictures and sound so I played videogames aimlessly wandering around and killing stuff. So I was introduced to pokemon and over the summer I learned how to read incredibly fast and was tossed out of special ed. Because of my reading skills my teacher had me tested for gifted programs and I surprisingly came out at 142 IQ. I was placed in an accelerated class where I learned ahead of most other students but I still rarely talked to people.

I stayed there for 6 years until I had to go to middle school (we moved too) which was an absolute helldump. Kids never physically attacked me or anything, but most of the redneck trailer trash you'll find in Mississippi decided to make fun of and ridicule me. They'd walk up to me and say something extremely quiet and they'd all laugh when I turned around and said what?. The few times that I could understand them it was always something like "Cody wants to **** you in the ass". Eventually I started automatically replying vulgar remarks (not just **** you but creative almost comical ones). I later realized this only made it all the more fun for them and just became absolutely silent. This threw them off eventually and I was just ignored completely for the rest of my time there unable to start a conversation or keep one.

My teaching in middle school was also horrible. My speech teacher was cruel and pedantic making fun of me and the other students she had to teach in a thirty minute period. Half of my teachers maintained that I didn't have a hearing loss and was just using it as an excuse to be lazy and not listen. As if to spite me, my english teacher decided it would be a good idea to make the entire class listen to her read a tale of two cities and told us all we'd get an F for the semester if we ever got our own copy. I got a C in that, which led to me being grounded by my perfectionist parents. The other half of teachers were just uninvolved and didn't care, it translated out to writing assignments on the board. I relied on reading my textbook and google for most of what I learned.

Just this year, we moved out of that dump to VA and the experience has been much better. The high school (freshman) is actually equipped for my problem having 4 students who are hoh. My teachers understand my loss and I have a good speech teacher. The other students are accepting of this but I still can't talk to them.

I've really given up on being succesful in oral communication besides one on one talking. Generally I can only understand someone if they're clear, loud, and facing me in a quiet situation. This is something that rarely happens in a noisy world of mumblers as I'm sure most hoh people here know. I'm planning to go to the NTID/RIT and hopefully embracing the deaf community. I feel it'll be a lot easier to go that way than to endlessly struggle in a hearing world.

Sorry about the long post, but I feel this is the only way to understand and explain it.
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Wow, your story really helped me a lot with some questions I had! :) :ty:

JM
 
I'm new to this site and have enjoyed reading the posts regarding everyones experiences. I work in a hearing-world but the minute I get home my two hearing aids come out and go in their box! My TV has closed-captioning and that's all I need to make my quiet life happy as a single person. I used to live with a hearing guy and every time we had an argument, he'd turn off the closed-captioning on the TV. What a jerk. I decided I wasn't ever again going to put up with that kind of treatment. Now I have two birds and am really happy!
 
re your story

geri_coronado said:
I'm new to this site and have enjoyed reading the posts regarding everyones experiences. I work in a hearing-world but the minute I get home my two hearing aids come out and go in their box! My TV has closed-captioning and that's all I need to make my quiet life happy as a single person. I used to live with a hearing guy and every time we had an argument, he'd turn off the closed-captioning on the TV. What a jerk. I decided I wasn't ever again going to put up with that kind of treatment. Now I have two birds and am really happy!
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What a jerk! I'd have tossed his butt out the nearest window if he'd been my boyfriend! ;) Seriously, if I had been in your shoes, we'd have had a lot of chatting on manners.

My family used to (some) complain if I had the captions on, but I couldn't hear the TV good enough to catch everything, especially if there's any other competing noise or talking going on in the same room or nearby, or the actors mumble, slur words, or whisper.

The sound on my TV gets cranked up at my house if there's any competing noise, and I turn on the captions when I watch a DVD if I have to keep backing it up because I missed what they said. My hubby can be talking on the phone in the kitchen, and the captions are on.

I have to have a hearing test again this year at my company. The guy last year said it's still in normal range. I work in an industrial plant upstairs in the office, but they make us take one yearly because of all the machinery that makes noise here.

A few years ago, I thought I was going deaf. I get bad wax build up in my ear, had lots of ear infections as a kid, scarring on an eardrum from that. My family kept complaining I was talking too loud, and I didn't think I was, and I couldn't hear myself being loud. I went to the doctor and he checked me, and said I had some bad wax plugs stuck deep in my ears. He told me some people get more wax than others, and I'm one of those people. :hmm:

I also sometimes get this annoying ringing/buzzing in my ears. It lasts for awhile, goes away, and comes back. I read it was called tinnitus.

I don't have hearing aids, but there are times in some situations I have a hard time hearing everything. I was in a room with over a hundred people trying to converse with 2 people, and I kept shouting and asking them to repeat themselves because I missed what they said. All the extra noise gave me a headache.

I had to turn the TV off last night while talking on the phone to a girl who called to ask my hubby a question. They have a college class together, but he wasn't home. The background noise was too distracting.

I went to a couple of rock concerts, my first one, no ear protection (2nd one I wore earplugs). I had a headache and my ears hurt and were ringing afterward. I had no idea how loud they were. I was given a free ticket to go, and I'd never been to one before. Oops. I found out later that continual loud noise can damage hearing.

My grandparents both wear hearing aids as their hearing degraded over the years. My grandpa can't hardly make anything out anymore and he gets frustrated.

My dad's hearing was damaged in the Navy. He would turn the TV up really loud when I used to live at home with my parents if anyone is talking, or the dog barked. He doesn't have a hearing aid. He said before he doesn't want one, but he's in his 70's now.

So yeah, I understand a little bit of where you folks are coming from--I'm not as young as I used to be, and I may have more trouble down the road in the future.

Either way, I still want to learn ASL. :)
 
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Raised in A Hearing world

Is anyone else here raised in more of a hearing culture than a deaf environment?

I am 17 years old, a hard age to be for a HOH person. I have two deaf ears, and I use my right ear for the hearing aid. However, I speak well, hear okay, and lipread. My parents never thought I really needed sign language to begin with. They sent me to a private school when I was in Kindergarten to first grade. Just to speak well and listen. I literally know one person who is HOH, who, unfortunately, I don't get to see very much. All of my friends are hearing individuals, and I engage in varsity sports as well. I still go to school with students I grew up with since elementary school. During school, I have a 504 plan, accommodation (which is, by choice, I can use a system to hook up to my hearing aid, set up a meeting with my teachers or sit up front) however, I choose not to use it. I do still have problems with hearing and speaking (I mumble occasionally), mind you, I am not completely normal. From my story it would seem like I am fine and that I am able to blend well with the hearing society, but I wear my hair down everyday in hopes that no one will figure out I am hearing impaired, I try my best not to conversate often, and I sometimes wish no one would come up to me and start talking.

My most often used word is 'what'.

I guess I still battle with self-esteem issues, would love to be in an environment with people who struggle with hearing .. and I just created this account. So I welcome myself. Ha ha.

Just reply, post anything. Experiences, advices, etc.
 
Mod note:

Thread's merged.
 
My hearing loss was first detected in 3rd grade, but back then it was mild and high frequency only so the ENT said aids weren't warranted. By my mid 20's as my loss was progressive I purchased my first set of aids. Now in my mid 50's my loss has progressed to the point that I have a profound loss in both ears. I still wear aids but they are far from perfect, but without them I am all but deaf. I grew up in the hearing world, but at this point I am considering learning ASL although that really is not going to help me get by in the hearing world. Plus learning ASL just seems so overwhelming. I struggle with speech comprehension and I guess the worst part are 3 different things. Some people I work with seem to find it amusing or entertaining when I misunderstand something. Then there are those that look at you like you have two heads when you answer something incorrectly. And finally there are those that when you tell them you have a hearing loss, decide that you are not even worthwhile talking to. Maybe the weirdest response are from those who when you tell them about your loss, decide to speak slower.:roll:, but at least they're trying.
 
tessalee said:
Is anyone else here raised in more of a hearing culture than a deaf environment?

I am 17 years old, a hard age to be for a HOH person. I have two deaf ears, and I use my right ear for the hearing aid. However, I speak well, hear okay, and lipread. My parents never thought I really needed sign language to begin with. They sent me to a private school when I was in Kindergarten to first grade. Just to speak well and listen. I literally know one person who is HOH, who, unfortunately, I don't get to see very much. All of my friends are hearing individuals, and I engage in varsity sports as well. I still go to school with students I grew up with since elementary school. During school, I have a 504 plan, accommodation (which is, by choice, I can use a system to hook up to my hearing aid, set up a meeting with my teachers or sit up front) however, I choose not to use it. I do still have problems with hearing and speaking (I mumble occasionally), mind you, I am not completely normal. From my story it would seem like I am fine and that I am able to blend well with the hearing society, but I wear my hair down everyday in hopes that no one will figure out I am hearing impaired, I try my best not to conversate often, and I sometimes wish no one would come up to me and start talking.

My most often used word is 'what'.

I guess I still battle with self-esteem issues, would love to be in an environment with people who struggle with hearing .. and I just created this account. So I welcome myself. Ha ha.

Just reply, post anything. Experiences, advices, etc.
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Welcome! Your post sounds just like me when I was back in High school, a long long time ago :giggle:

I didn't have a 501 plan or any type of fm system when I was in school. I relied 100% on my lipreading. I still do actually. Most of my teachers would forget after a while that I was Hoh and I never bothered to remind them. I can speak perfectly so I guess they thought I could hear them just fine. Beyond this great group of people here at Alldeaf, I do not know another deaf or hoh person except for the elderly.
I never bothered to hide my hearing aids, and still don't. I would wear my hair up almost everyday in highschool. Now I mostly wear it down but I am older and work as a teacher in a regular school district and I don't want my students to make the day revolving around my hearing. They know I am hoh but like I said before, they easily forget since I function almost like a hearing individual.
The only thing I can suggest is for you to embrace your FM system. Boy I wish I had had one when I was in school. I am only now learning to enjoy doing some of the things I never got to do before, such as listen to an Ipod, and use it in a movie theater.
Do you have a personal fm system?
 
I am HOH

Wow, these stories all feel so familiar to me. I have known Sign for 20 years. I have had DEaf friends for almost that long. I have know for YEARS that I had a "hearing problem." The other day, I asked a (full) Deaf person about this stuff. He said, "You HOH." I decided to stop the denial of what I am. It's funny how the depression and anger has lifted! :laugh2::laugh2:


I am HOH and proud:D:D


I am DEFGRL.:wave:
 
So many of these stories are breaking my heart!

I am hearing, but come from a dad who was severely hard of hearing...so I developed an interest in hearing loss. A hearing friend of mine and I learned finger spelling from a Helen Keller book and used it to talk to one another during our class in 6th grade! The teacher even mentioned it on my report card!!

I went on to become (and please don't hate me!!!!) a speech therapist. :Oops: I have worked extensively with children who are deaf and HOH. I really wanted to be a teacher for the deaf. Strangely enough, that hearing friend of mine from 6th grade developed a progressive hearing loss and is now deaf. Weird, huh? And I hurt one of my ears from a LOUD speaker when I was 13, and it gives up and understands little if anything in noise. I have lost about 15-20 dB of hearing in some of my frequencies in the past 10 years. I resort to lipreading for help in noise, and lipreading assists me if a person's voice is just not easy to understand. I know what I go through and how frustrating it is to try and understand everything that people say, or when I try to understand everything that's said on the TV...and this is NOT a classically severe loss. I can only imagine what all of you go through, and what some of my students go through. By reading all of your posts, I understand even more how my students feel, or the everyday problems they face. Recently, one of my 12-year-old HOH students (with hearing aids) sat and cried for 45 minutes, because all of his problems, he felt, were because of his "stupid ears" and "stupid hearing aids" and because he "couldn't hear right." :(

Although I am working now in a public school setting, we have quite a number of hearing impaired students. I am happy to be able to help with resources for hearing aids, FM systems, with out-of-district placements, and yes...even speech (good speech sure comes in handy)!! We have just placed one of our students at a school for the deaf, and will be placing another soon. Some of our hearing-impaired students are made fun of and it kills me inside. I usually teach my HOH students some sign, just to open up their worlds a bit larger. I can sign pretty fluently, and my best friend is deaf. Sometimes I feel much more comfortable around people who are deaf and HOH. I guess part of it is because of my dad, and maybe partly because I love sign...and reading sign, especially with speech, allows me to get EVERY word in a conversation! More often than not, it seems, people who are deaf or HOH are just more loving and friendly! :grouphug:
 
I am HOH raised in a hearing world. I had trouble listening to the teacher in class so I would move up front which I hated lol but I felt comfortable because I hear her better. The only thing that bothered me was that I didn't often wear my hearing aid in class because I felt weird and wanted to hear like everyone else in the class. I used FM's in elementary school in 4th grade. That time I transferred to a new school with a few people like me that were in hearing classes that uses FM. In middle school. I didn't wear them often (Hearing aids).

Later in 7th grade. I moved with the Deaf and Hard Of Hearing program because I wanted to feel connected with the other people like me, that wear hearing aids. Then in High School I was still with the program. The classes I took in the program were (no offense) kinda slow for me. I was just use to mainstream classes. I got put in mainstream classes and some deaf classes.

Growing up in the hearing world... I would say it was tough. I speak well and hear good but sometimes you have to say "huh" "say that again!" and people get annoyed haha. All you have to do is speak up and I hear you well. People with heavy accent are HARD TO UNDERSTAND! LOL! So yeah, growing up in the hearing world is tough but I mange to survive well haha.
 
Amazing!

Radioman said it best. Wow, I had no idea so many of us had such similar experiences and yet so many of us felt alone. I was in special education self contained classed from 3 years old to 3rd grade. Then I tranferred to my local grammar school, only to be treated terribly. This poor response from the educational institutions was a common thread throughout my high school and college years. I actually have a bachelor degree and several credits into a Master level degree but I dropped out because I was tired! Tired of headaches in trying to keep up with hearing counterparts, classmates, teachers, clients at my job, etc. Essentially, I was just sick of the work it took to be full time in the hearing world. I am profoundly deaf in the left (basically its a dead ear) and severe to profound in the right but I wear an Oticon hearing aid. Its a powerful sucker!

It took me until I was 35 to discover the value of CC television. Then I went back and watched my favorite movies again, falling in love with them again. My family never discussed my hearing loss, or how it would be perceived in the hearing world. They and hearing people in general still have no clue about the work it takes me to have a simple conversation and so I am much more selective about who I invest my time with.

I think the most striking thing in reading these is again, how many of felt alone most of our lives. Don't you think that we as the product of the pilot program of the 60/70/80 pushing mainstreaming owe it the next generations to fight for integrated education? I am feeling like one of the things to make peace with my life is to give back to the next generations of deaf/hearing impaired children. I have to say I have felt left out of the deaf world and feel that they need to open up to the idea of integrated education rather than forcing the idea separation. I was forced to make choices at a young at when I should have been given the option to have both worlds available to me. Even now, when trying to find support groups or services, I feel like I am being asked to give up one for the other.

Anyway, the main thing I wanted to express is this: what a relief to know that I wasn't the only to have those experiences.
 
I am hoh and was raised in the hearing world, although I've noticed that they choose to hear less than what I do. :giggle:
I started losing my hearing as a result of ear infections when I was younger. I had my first surgery when I was in second grade and my ears never healed from that, causing my hearing to get worse. Thankfully, I never had any problems with my classes or my friends. About 9 years ago, I underwent reconstructive surgery which we had hoped would work but did not. I have been wearing hearing aides since. Before I received them, I dealt with my hearing loss by lip-reading and piecing together sentences through the topic's context.
I really have not had many problems with my hearing loss, as I've learned to adapt. I do have a tendency to alienate myself from people and certain situations or surroundings, tho. I never bring up my hearing loss unless it's important (ie job related. Sometimes I don't bother then, just to see if I can get the job as a 'normal' person.) and I love it when the people I've known for 6 months are shocked that I wear hearing aides. I did have to use a tape-recorder for my classes in college and it helped a great deal, but sometimes I still had to ask the instructor for clarification.
My only complaint is that I never had someone mention taking ASL courses. I suppose it was because they thought I would receive most of my hearing back, but since I did not I have decided to sign up for the next available course. I bought a book to get started and found someone to practice with. I will not shut up about this until my mom signs up for the classes with me (She loves the idea, anyway.). :lol:
I do still catch hell sometimes because everyone knows when I'm really not listening... :shrug:
 
Your post caught my attention, because it's very much a question that is asked often, however it was interesting to see the various viewpoints. However, mine is based on 3 views, at home, at university and finally now at the workplace.

I grew up in a normal hearing world, primarily of my own choice, because the country where I live is not very supportive towards people of my deafness. (profoundly deaf)

I have 2 degrees, the first is my bachelors degree in accounting, and then an honors degree in advanced accounting & auditing. I am now an auditor...and believe you me, I got there with my own will, because all through my life, people have always put me down. But I rose up high, and faced the world straight in the eye...as Hellen Keller once did.

It's a very difficult world to comprehend, because our "hearing" people are too busy caught up in their own complexities of life, that they forget to be a little compassionate, they forget we are human when it comes to communication with deaf individuals.

Fortunately for me, I've been through some very caring hands, some awesome teachers and some extremely supporting family and friends, and that has made all the difference.

I work as an auditor for one of the world's largest auditing firms, and yes, it is difficult, because my work is very client-based, it involves a great deal of communication, but with patience and perserverance, even your client will grow to admire you and thus they will be humbled to go the extra mile to help you.

But, the world is not always that rosy...there are a few individuals who have a mind of their own...that's their loss...not yours...because at the end of the day, those with no compassion, can never suceed. And well, that's just my humble opinion.

Remember, success is not what makes a man earn all the money in this world, success comes from a clear conscious when you put your head on your pillow at night, and say, I've wronged none.

Well, i hope that helps!

And guys, your deafness doesn't stop you, it should inspire you to strive to achieve greater heights...and anyone who uses their deafness as an excuse, should please PM me...I'd like to help you see the positivity of the situation we are all in!
 
yes it is very diffcult to be raised i n the hearing world because i have family who is all hearing and me the only one is hard of hearing in the families.
 
A Hearing World Survivor

I was born 7 and a half weeks premature, in Thailand in the early 60s, resulting in my moderate-profound hearing loss. My hearing parents discovered my hearing loss when I was 5 and had failed the school hearing test. At age 11, I went to the Hearing Centre and was fitted with my first hearing aid. The staff were amazed at how well I responded despite my apparent hearing loss and said I must be a good lip-reader. I went to regular hearing schools, changing schools almost every year due to travelling. I didnt make many friends, and was teased a lot because I would miss a lot and answer incorrectly and 'stupidly'. When I first learned to read I began to realise even at that young age that I had got it all wrong. At age 11, my mother took me to speech therapy classes. It was hard work but I finally ironed out my lisp for the most part. Even though I speak quite well now because of the therapy, I still have to concentrate hard to pronounce every syllable and have slow right down so it becomes extremely tiring. Even with speech therapy, many kids would come up to me and tell me I spoke funny.

I was never told or introduced to the Deaf Culture or community. I have only met a few deaf people and because I had not learned sign language I didn't feel I belonged.

I trained myself to lip-read more and finally gave up on using hearing aids though clinically I need them. I found them annoying at best and in humid climates like Thailand, I often suffered from ear infections. So, I scrapped them.

My mother helped me a lot with cueing me in on the topic of conversation by repeating things without embarassing me. When I got older and married, I realised just how much I depend on her. (Thanks Mum).

Today, I am in a multi-lingual environment as well as in the hearing world. I am able to fool most people that I hear and understand because I mostly lip-read and I also read facial expressions and body language to cue me how to respond.

It helps that my hearing husband and children all speak loudly. My children automatically tell me when the phone is ringing; the kettle boiling and if someone is at the door etc. They also always tap me when wanting to speak with me. I find it most annoying at times but then also grateful they do it too.

Before closed-captioning was common, I used to watch movies several times over to 'get it' and would be annoying my family by asking them to say it over. When closed-captioning became a choice, I discovered just how much I missed. Now, if there is no captions, I will refuse to watch it because I cannot get any of it.

I can hear only low sounds and very loud sounds and in crowds this becomes very irritating. If there are monotonous sounds or whistling, I get very annoyed because all my concentration goes into hearing those sounds and I can't think or focus on anything else.

When people speak, I can hear them speaking but it sounds like mumbo-jumbo, so I am very dependent on lip-reading. My pet peeves are low-lighting like dimmers; candlelight and shadows, people with full moustaches, and people with their hands over their mouths. I can't hear when people have their backs to me or me with my back to them. I can't hear birds, but I can hear cars so I can drive, but that's another reason I don't wear HAs.

I am a mother of 7, a wife of a diplomat, a principal of a training school where I lecture, I homeschool. I am a writer. I am a co-director, manager and secretary of our mission. Am also an event planner and team co-ordinator.

So, I guess I would consider myself successful. While growing up through all the embarassments and abasements, which I still encounter today, I wanted so much to be considered totally deaf so I could learn ASL and life would be so much easier and have a sense of belonging instead of feeling constantly like I was from another planet.

Recently, I have discovered AllDeaf and have been googling about Deaf Culture. I have begun learning ASL, although I am Australian. I plan to learn AUSLAN after ASL.

It is good to chat with people who not only 'understand' but know and experience what I experience.

Noticing on some posts, those wanting to learn ASL, I have discovered there are some really good You Tube clips on learning ASL and it's free.

I am happy to be here.
 
welcome, BecLak,

:ty: <thank you> for telling us all about yourself :D

I like your line at top - "a hearing world survivor"
 
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