Anti-Adoption?

[webexplorer]

I don't think that you get it. I believe that the deadbeat father has to pay the child support. A mother needs the money to spend for her kids' needs. It is important that the mother and her children should be happy with their life. You know most men makes more money than women's salary.

I believe that adoption would be the last resort if a mother failed for a reason.

My classmate is deaf, and his parents banned him in Korea. A U.S. Army adopted him and moved in the U.S. when he was 8 years old. Now, he is 35 years old and still not happy life. He doesn't know where to find his real parents. He was expelled from a college. I remember that he was a bright kid and very nice. He is totally changed his life because he really wants to find his parents. It made me feel sad for him. I haven't seen him for seven years. The last time that I saw him when he was a freshman at college. He looked awful and a sort of "gang." I told him that he is very lucky to be in America and anything he wants to do in America. He doesn't give a damn about it.

 

[Reba]

I don't think that you get it. I believe that the deadbeat father has to pay the child support. A mother needs the money to spend for her kids' needs. It is important that the mother and her children should be happy with their life. You know most men makes more money than women's salary.

I believe that adoption would be the last resort if a mother failed for a reason.

My classmate is deaf, and his parents banned him in Korea. A U.S. Army adopted him and moved in the U.S. when he was 8 years old. Now, he is 35 years old and still not happy life. He doesn't know where to find his real parents. He was expelled from a college. I remember that he was a bright kid and very nice. He is totally changed his life because he really wants to find his parents. It made me feel sad for him. I haven't seen him for seven years. The last time that I saw him when he was a freshman at college. He looked awful and a sort of "gang." I told him that he is very lucky to be in America and anything he wants to do in America. He doesn't give a damn about it.

I'm very sorry about your friend. I hope he overcomes his problems.

Sometimes we just don't know why people turn out the way they do. Many birth children turn out troubled and changed, and many adopted children turn out wonderful.

Your friend might be disappointed with his present life but do you think he would have been happy and satisfied if his American parents didn't adopt him? What would his deaf life be like in Korea?

I don't have any answers; just asking questions to think about.

 

[Cheri]

Why you said that you "punished our own kids?" I didn't mention about the punishment. The common sense is that the father needs to pay and support for the children. It is not cheap to buy anything for kids' needs such as food and clothings, school supplies, and a lot more. Right?.

Yes right, I agree with what you are saying about deadbeat dads and single dads should pay child support because they're participially responsible, it takes two to tango.

I apology I was confused on your first post that I quoted, I thought you were defending those deadbeat fathers, my mistake.

 

[Eve]

The problem is, those deadbeat dads will do anything to keep from paying up and the sole responsibility then falls on the mother. Many young mothers do not have the where with all to support themselves, much less another being. If a young woman knows her limitations and wants more for her child, then she is putting the child's best interest above her own desires by placing the child for adoption.

Adopting a white newborn baby is extremely difficult, because most adoptive parents want a child that will physically fit in with their family. Most adoptive parents have been trying for years to conceive and have been unable to do so. And, because of the cost involved with adoption, most adoptive parents are well off financially and are quite capable of providing for the child. And, they didn't become wealthy through ignorance, so most of them are college educated and appreciate the importance of education and make arrangements for the child to achieve higher learning (a college education), as well. The life for an adopted child versus that of a child born into poverty with a single parent who is frustrated by her lot in life is quite different. I know which I would choose for my child if I were in that situation, and it would definitely be a choice for the child and not for myself.

 

[KarissaMann05]

:jawdrop: I'm completely speechless when my thread have 64 posts here! wow.

Let me read through.

 

[KarissaMann05]

I don't think anyone said that the birth mothers were selfish for giving up their babies for adoption. It's actually a very selfless decision because the birth mom puts the needs of the child before her own needs.

No, Reba, she said "I respectfully disagreed to judge/label the mothers as selfish for give their babies up for an adoption or decide to abort their babies for severe reasons because they have different decision than us." in her #31 post.

That is what she is referring to some workers at my work.

Not only you, I do misread sometimes. ^_^

 

[KarissaMann05]

let me adpot you all heee I give you ice cream cone! just kidding

haha hi, mommy! thank you for yummy ice cream cone!

 

[KarissaMann05]

It is your choice that you do not like the abortion, and then it's your business. But, we don't interfere to tell the parents about abortion or not. Of course, the law must not be involved because it is our freedom to make a choice.

Huh? Freedom of choice? Gee, I knew a "friend" of my sister's had just murdered her a day old newborn baby last October because she did not want her. Will you support her choice for that?

No, wait.. never mind.. You don't believe in a saintly life of human being. Sorry..

 

[KarissaMann05]

Yupp thank you for agreeing with me I believe those mothers who have problem with drugs, abusive, stuck with bad father, or whatever are very smart to send the baby for adoption so that the baby can have his/her own life.

I just don't see abortion as "selfless" because all I see their reason is only about parents, but I wonder what about the baby's reason? That's why I see abortion is very selfish, it's just like mother kill her own children for her sake.

Yeah, I agreed pretty much.

 

[KarissaMann05]

Angel ty for agreeing with my post.

However, the problem I see with your post is NO abortions. While that may be ideal it is also not logical. If we had no abortions at all, then we would see mothers who cannot go to full term and risking their own lives to have a baby because we made abortions illegal.

We would also see mothers, going to backyard doctors and obtaining illegal abortions. And some did die before abortions were made legal.

I dont necessarily agree with abortion as I dont for anyone who wants to know. But I also realize that even though I dont agree with it, that there is a need to make it legal.

Angel, while I too wish that the ideal world could be no abortions, its just not possible at this time.

I say this because if there was a high risk of death to both the mother and the baby if she were to continue being pregnant, then what is the point in forcing her to continue it? Not only then would we lose one life but both.

I also whole heartedly agree that we need to put a stop to women that use abortion as a form of birth control. In no way,shape or form should a woman be allowed to have 4 different abortions. Regardless of religious background.If that person's religion does not believe in birth control or whatever, then my suggestion is stop having sex unless you are willing to take the responsibility in doing so. To have 4 abortions to me is murder. Especially, when there is the option of giving it up for adoption.

While there may be negatives to adoptions. The major positive is showing that child that you loved them enough to give them life, and to a hopefully more loving and more capable family.

I guess I would say I am neither pro-life nor pro-choice. But I am pro-adoption. I believe adoption is a very good thing even with the negatives that come with it. Some people are so desperate for a baby that they will kidnap one to get one. Think about all those aborted fetuses they could have had instead of having to resort to kidnapping.

While some may say that kidnapping is a mental disease, I disagree. Kidnapping is a form of desperation. Maybe they were turned down by the adoption agencies for not meeting the income standards, maybe they were accepted and had to wait years. Any of those factors could have drove those people over the brink into kidnapping.

All in all I would say adoption is a very loving and selfless act period!

great post I am not support the legal or illegal abortion but i'm really interest in B.C. for improving of any risk.

 

[KarissaMann05]

I am against abortion and adoption... because abortion is murder.
And adoption... giving your babies away to many strangers.

Strangers who may or may not be abusers or whatever.

If woman got rape, then she shouldn't punish the baby.

If woman can't afford the baby, then need to get on welfare or
seek financial support from baby's father and government.

Just raise the baby the best way she can and get someone to help her.

Can you explain a bit more why are you against adoption? I am curious.

Blue font - True. I knew a few friends of mine are children of rapists and they are very relief that they are alive because it is VERY easy to be aborted if you are just child of rapist. Well, if it's not for one of them, I WON'T be here. Not even my life because she pulled me up when I nearly fell off the deep downhill when I was like 5 years old.

Bond font - Of course, they would will to help women/girls.

 

[KarissaMann05]

That is the most dumb thing to say. The baby doesn't know so the mother has to feed her baby period! A dead beat father must pay for her child support until the child is 16 or 18 years old. Here is the link: Deadbeat dad - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

A dead beat father program usually is not successful because the father is not married, and many boyfriends smiled and walked away.

Ok.. I almost offended..

I knew somebody else told me about her 5th or 4th great grandmother who was raped by a several solders during a war time. It would be easy for her to have a legal abortion but she never have a chance to.. Her son grew up in an amazing design builder, had his wonderful family, and his living descendant is doing all right like a normal life.

But a mother is more important than a future descendant? Hmm, let me see..

If there is a legal abortion, then her son will be not here and his 477 people in his descendant will NOT here either. It will effect many non-relation people a lot if it's not for her son's life. Several of my friends will not here, too..

Also.. as for my good friend who is a child of rapist -- if she is aborted and.. Puyo will be different a lot and may be only remember me a little. My best friend may be either in a rot life or to kill herself if it's not for me, because stupid bullies treated her awfully. One big question, who will save me from falling off the deep downhill?

Don't you understand? Abortion destroys future descendants because of any reason (not only rape action). No, wait.. Oh yeah, those children of rapists are not concern you. I guess it's their (children) faults for rape actions, definitely, I will be damned. So, never mind what I said..

 

[KarissaMann05]

Wow... you are mean.... lots of babies need to be adopted and be loved... even you need to be loved.. i guess you dont know what love is... TOO BAD....

Huh? Me?? What I said??

 

[KarissaMann05]

The problem is, those deadbeat dads will do anything to keep from paying up and the sole responsibility then falls on the mother. Many young mothers do not have the where with all to support themselves, much less another being. If a young woman knows her limitations and wants more for her child, then she is putting the child's best interest above her own desires by placing the child for adoption.

Adopting a white newborn baby is extremely difficult, because most adoptive parents want a child that will physically fit in with their family. Most adoptive parents have been trying for years to conceive and have been unable to do so. And, because of the cost involved with adoption, most adoptive parents are well off financially and are quite capable of providing for the child. And, they didn't become wealthy through ignorance, so most of them are college educated and appreciate the importance of education and make arrangements for the child to achieve higher learning (a college education), as well. The life for an adopted child versus that of a child born into poverty with a single parent who is frustrated by her lot in life is quite different. I know which I would choose for my child if I were in that situation, and it would definitely be a choice for the child and not for myself.

yeah.. its not so easy.. :/

 

[Liebling:-)))]

I knew somebody else told me about her 5th or 4th great grandmother who was raped by a several solders during a war time. It would be easy for her to have a legal abortion but she never have a chance to.. Her son grew up in an amazing design builder, had his wonderful family, and his living descendant is doing all right like a normal life.

Yes, my hubby's widow Grandmother (his father's mother) was raped by soliders/Nazis during WWII time and got pregnant with my hubby's father, that's time the abortion law was forbidden. His Grandmother already had a 17 years old son by her husband who killed at WWII time. The people were horrible to her and insult her as whore/slut etc because Grandmother was a cooker for soliders/Nazi - it make the people think bad of her. My hubby's father was born. Grandmother abused him and treat his 17 years oldest brother special. His 17 years older brother love his baby brother and treat him like his son, not his brother. My hubby;s father's childhood was not very happy one. No wonder, why my hubby's father has no love feeling and very hard heart like stone. My hubby's father love his brother dearly and never forget how much he did a lot for him against their unloving mother... He died of ulcer cancer when my older son was 1 year old. My hubby's father is still alive but he show no interest... which is really sad...

Also.. as for my good friend who is a child of rapist -- if she is aborted and.. Puyo will be different a lot and may be only remember me a little. My best friend may be either in a rot life or to kill herself if it's not for me, because stupid bullies treated her awfully. One big question, who will save me from falling off the deep downhill?

Yes, my good friend got pregnant by rapist and decide to keep her child. She is a single mother of 2 children and good mother to them, no matter either one of their child is a rapist's child.

Each mother has different feeling/emotion.

Don't you understand? Abortion destroys future descendants because of any reason (not only rape action). No, wait.. Oh yeah, those children of rapists are not concern you. I guess it's their (children) faults for rape actions, definitely, I will be damned. So, never mind what I said..

Remember, every mothers don't have same feeling either they want to keep rapist's child or not. That's why I am neutral to this issues.

Yes I has to agree with you that it's not child's fault that his/her father is rapist.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

No, Reba, she said "I respectfully disagreed to judge/label the mothers as selfish for give their babies up for an adoption or decide to abort their babies for severe reasons because they have different decision than us." in her #31 post.

That is what she is referring to some workers at my work.

Not only you, I do misread sometimes. ^_^

for convince Reba but she said that she can't see the word "selfishful" in your first thread.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

yeah.. its not so easy.. :/

Yes I has to agree that it's not easy.

 

[Buffalo]

All this talks of abortion reminds me of a very interesting book 'Freakonomics'. In Chapter 4, Nicolae Ceausescu, the dicator of Romania, made abortion illegal in 1966 so he could boost Romania's population. He was a brute to his citizens but gave government positions to his relatives and his wife. The country's birthrate did doubled but the children born after 1966 weren't a happy lot. Those children did worse in everything like school and job and they tend to be criminals. Ceausescu, along with his wife, died by a firing squad after the massacre in Timisoara.

Now in USA, The crime rate had risen 80 percent in 1974 - 1989 but dropped in early 90's. One of the few reasons for this is Roe vs. Wade when the abortion became legal in 1973. It is an interesting theory that legalized abortion led to lesser crime.

I agree that women should use better birth controls and men should be involved in birth controls like condoms.

 

[Eve]

Now in USA, The crime rate had risen 80 percent in 1974 - 1989 but dropped in early 90's. One of the few reasons for this is Roe vs. Wade when the abortion became legal in 1973. It is an interesting theory that legalized abortion led to lesser crime.

The RISE (80%) from 1974-1989 came immediately AFTER legalization of abortion, so by your theory, legalization of abortion actually led to MORE crime.

 

[webexplorer]

All this talks of abortion reminds me of a very interesting book 'Freakonomics'. In Chapter 4, Nicolae Ceausescu, the dicator of Romania, made abortion illegal in 1966 so he could boost Romania's population. He was a brute to his citizens but gave government positions to his relatives and his wife. The country's birthrate did doubled but the children born after 1966 weren't a happy lot. Those children did worse in everything like school and job and they tend to be criminals. Ceausescu, along with his wife, died by a firing squad after the massacre in Timisoara.

Now in USA, The crime rate had risen 80 percent in 1974 - 1989 but dropped in early 90's. One of the few reasons for this is Roe vs. Wade when the abortion became legal in 1973. It is an interesting theory that legalized abortion led to lesser crime.

I agree that women should use better birth controls and men should be involved in birth controls like condoms.