Annoying ignorant hearing people stories

teamint said:
I don't think most people WANT to be insensitive.
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True, we all are aware .....this thread is for us to share our experiences with some of the most annoying things hearing people do to us...especially those that go out of their way to be condescending.

Hearing people say inconsiderate things to everyone, but when it is aimed towards us deaf/HOH people, it is usually because we are deaf/HOH.
 
Erooa said:
Not all "hearning" People are the same. Really its just like two seperate countries. LOTS of English speakers are the same with people of other languages or vise versa. It is just ignorance and a feeling for some people that will never change. It sucks but it's true.
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Yes, this can be true. Or they are obstinate and rude, and no matter how many times we may ask them to face us, speak clearly, etc., they always "forget." :mad: But I have also run into perfect strangers that once they knew, were so very helpful accommodating as well. It's an individual thing, in some cases, I think. :hmm:
 
Green; you said: "Hearing people say inconsiderate things to everyone, but when it is aimed towards us deaf/HOH people, it is usually because we are deaf/HOH."

My first inclination was to disagree, but before I decide, I was hoping you would say more. Can you elaborate? Or say it in a different way?
 
teamint said:
Green; you said: "Hearing people say inconsiderate things to everyone, but when it is aimed towards us deaf/HOH people, it is usually because we are deaf/HOH."

My first inclination was to disagree, but before I decide, I was hoping you would say more. Can you elaborate? Or say it in a different way?
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I think the best way to convince you is to give you a pill that will make you 100% deaf and walk in our shoes for a few months. Just ask any of the late-deafened members here what they are now going through.

You are not the only one who has a hard time believing how cruel & condescending hearing people can be towards the deaf. This treatment comes in many forms, subtle and direct.

My intention is not to say "all" hearing people are like this, but there are many.
 
Green;
I was unclear. I don't disagree with the people can be inconsiderate part. I think I may disagree with the "it is because we are deaf/HOH" part. That was the part I was hoping you could elaborate on?
 
teamint said:
Green;
I was unclear. I don't disagree with the people can be inconsiderate part. I think I may disagree with the "it is because we are deaf/HOH" part. That was the part I was hoping you could elaborate on?
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That's what this whole thread is about....many examples are here.
 
Green;
Ah. In which case, then, I am sure I disagree. From said examples, I clearly see inconsiderate behavior. But I have read of no inconsiderate behavior motivationally rooted solely in the hearing ability (or lack therein) of the "victim." And certainly not enough to support a conclusion of "usually." I'll stick with my original 'any trait or culture that marks someone as other/different to someone else,' theory of inconsiderate behavior. Thank you for your patient clarification.
 
teamint said:
Green;
Ah. In which case, then, I am sure I disagree. From said examples, I clearly see inconsiderate behavior. But I have read of no inconsiderate behavior motivationally rooted solely in the hearing ability (or lack therein) of the "victim." And certainly not enough to support a conclusion of "usually." I'll stick with my original 'any trait or culture that marks someone as other/different to someone else,' theory of inconsiderate behavior. Thank you for your patient clarification.
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I understand what you are saying, and in part I agree with you. I have seen several comments about what 'hearies' think about 'deafies,' usually derogatory. As a hearing person outside of the deaf community I know that this is probably quite wrong. Most hearing people simply don't give the deaf a thought at all. They don't think deaf are stupid, or incapable or whatever- because they haven't had enough experience or imagination to give any time at all to issues of deafness. Personally, I think that's worse, but anyway.

And people are rude and inconsiderate, thoughtless, whatever, because they are rude, inconsiderate, and thoughtless. I run into annoying, ignorant ppeople all the time, too. But I run into them on a wide spectrum- not narrowly focused on a single issue for the most part (I have a handicapped child and I have gotten some shocking comments from the stupid public over that).

But here's the point where I differ from you- It doesn't matter whether the hearing are rude because of what they think of the deaf or just out of accidental social faux pas or ignorance. It doesn't matter whether they are deliberately rude because of the deafness or if it's just accidental ignorance.

The deaf experience the rudeness most in the realm of their deafness. It feels the same regardless of motivation, it results in the same frustration regardless of motivation.

Furthermore, this is the AllDEAF forum, and this thread is a place to vent. I used to be part of a breastfeeding moms forum and we also had a place to vent about annoying and ignorant responses to breastfeeding. Visitors occasionally showed up and rebuked us, but they were the ones who were out of line. Our space, our thread, our feelings, our particularly carved out space specifically for the purpose of venting.

People who are part of any minority group will experience frustration with the way members of the larger majority respond to them at times. Venting is a legitimate response.
 
Grayma said:
Visitors occasionally showed up and rebuked us, but they were the ones who were out of line. Our space, our thread, our feelings, our particularly carved out space specifically for the purpose of venting.

People who are part of any minority group will experience frustration with the way members of the larger majority respond to them at times. Venting is a legitimate response.
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+1

And...most of the hearing people I've associated with are not able to see what deaf people have to endure, therefore they don't want to believe it happens.

Take, for example, my supervisor. He was offended when I told him that he is a lot less obnoxious than he was in past years, and I asked him if it was because he attended a Dale Carnegie class on how to treat employees. He simply does not think he was being a dick to me, even though other employees watched while he made fun of my not being able to hear, makes fun of deaf people in general to my face etc, etc.
 
Okay - here's another one.

Went to my local tag office to apply for a lost title for our Explorer. Hubby went with me as we are both on the title. After checking in and getting our number to wait for help, we get called up to the window. Get there and the lady was polite to begin with asking what we needed. Then she proceeds to tell us that we can't do what we needed since the letter stating the loan was paid off has one version of the company name and the lien on the title was a different version of the name. We explain that it's all the same company. She then goes into a long oration on something, I still do not know what she said. I very calmly explained that I was deaf and needed to read her lips, to please slow down and calm down. Well, she jumped up and ranted about the State of Florida allowing deaf people to drive. She caused enough of a ruckus that all the supervisors are running out and the Sheriff's officer in the waiting room (armed guard from the Sheriff's Office) came up and asked what the problem was. She asked him i9f it was in fact true that deaf people were allowed to drive and why do I have my name on a title for a vehicle if I am deaf. Well, the officer very calmly explained to her that deaf people can in fact be legally able to drive and that facts show they are safer drivers than hearing people. HE asked me about our vehicles and asked me to explain to her what the requirements were so that he knew I was aware. I explained that I had to have both outside mirrors and obviously the rearview mirror. He said I was right and asked which car was mine in the lot. Hubby took him out and the officer duly noted that I did have my handicapped placard in place (I have it for my fibromyalgia and rollator use) and that I had all mirrors in place and I also have a card in the visor stating that I am deaf for any officer that may pull me over. The worker just kept going on about deaf drivers that she refused to do her job. She was relieved of duty and the supervisor completed our transaction.
 
Wirelessly posted

OMIGOSH! :eek3: How horrible! Glad that moron was set straight. She should be fired! :mad:
 
KristinaB said:
Okay - here's another one.

Went to my local tag office to apply for a lost title for our Explorer. Hubby went with me as we are both on the title. After checking in and getting our number to wait for help, we get called up to the window. Get there and the lady was polite to begin with asking what we needed. Then she proceeds to tell us that we can't do what we needed since the letter stating the loan was paid off has one version of the company name and the lien on the title was a different version of the name. We explain that it's all the same company. She then goes into a long oration on something, I still do not know what she said. I very calmly explained that I was deaf and needed to read her lips, to please slow down and calm down. Well, she jumped up and ranted about the State of Florida allowing deaf people to drive. She caused enough of a ruckus that all the supervisors are running out and the Sheriff's officer in the waiting room (armed guard from the Sheriff's Office) came up and asked what the problem was. She asked him i9f it was in fact true that deaf people were allowed to drive and why do I have my name on a title for a vehicle if I am deaf. Well, the officer very calmly explained to her that deaf people can in fact be legally able to drive and that facts show they are safer drivers than hearing people. HE asked me about our vehicles and asked me to explain to her what the requirements were so that he knew I was aware. I explained that I had to have both outside mirrors and obviously the rearview mirror. He said I was right and asked which car was mine in the lot. Hubby took him out and the officer duly noted that I did have my handicapped placard in place (I have it for my fibromyalgia and rollator use) and that I had all mirrors in place and I also have a card in the visor stating that I am deaf for any officer that may pull me over. The worker just kept going on about deaf drivers that she refused to do her job. She was relieved of duty and the supervisor completed our transaction.
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That's just ridiculous. I can understand the fact that some people don't get it.. but to react like that was inexcusable. I hope she was permanently relieved of duty and not just sent away to cool down.

Also, she was likely wanting a paper on an official letter explaining that the companies are one and the same. Such as GMAC changing names or being bought out by Ally Financial. A lot of companies are bought out by other other companies and the lien release needs to have something accompanying it saying the new owner has the right to release that lien. (sorry.. too many years working for the dmv in Texas lol)
 
eirlys said:
That's just ridiculous. I can understand the fact that some people don't get it.. but to react like that was inexcusable. I hope she was permanently relieved of duty and not just sent away to cool down.

Also, she was likely wanting a paper on an official letter explaining that the companies are one and the same. Such as GMAC changing names or being bought out by Ally Financial. A lot of companies are bought out by other other companies and the lien release needs to have something accompanying it saying the new owner has the right to release that lien. (sorry.. too many years working for the dmv in Texas lol)
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She was totally fired on the spot.

Also, this was CitiFinancial and CitiGroup. The supervisor called them and they verified the info over the phone. Also, this is not a DMV office. Our DMV only handles driver's licenses.
 
KristinaB said:
She was totally fired on the spot.

Also, this was CitiFinancial and CitiGroup. The supervisor called them and they verified the info over the phone. Also, this is not a DMV office. Our DMV only handles driver's licenses.
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Yeah.. different names for the same equivalent office. In Texas, our drivers license office is the DPS (Department of Public Safety).

I'm glad she was fired. Like I said, that was inexcusable. People need to understand that they can't just say whatever they want when they want to, especially when they are in a public service type position. Better yet.. but even more impossible.. people need to to get start understanding and accepting that everyone is different and just because they communicate differently, doesn't make them any less capable.
 
Grayma;
I have no problem with "venting." I never implied that I did. And I agree completely with the point you make that Deaf people experience rudeness through the lens of Deafness. That makes sense. I did not agree, however, with Green's statement that "Hearing people say inconsiderate things to everyone, but when it is aimed towards us deaf/HOH people, it is usually because we are deaf/HOH." When asked to clarify said statement (as you can re-read above), the clarification did not add anything new to my thinking.

I am not in any way implying that Green is not justified in feeling...well, ANYTHING really that Green may or may not feel. That's not in any way my place or business. But, he/she created a statement of FACT, not FEELING. Were he/she to say, "And it FEELS like they are being considerate because we are deaf/HOH," that would have been a VERY different statement. And I probably wouldn't have posted a response at all. That, however, if you reference above was not what was stated.

On the other hand, given Green's most recent posting: I agree that it does sound very much like an example of exactly what he/she was asserting. In that particular context, yeah - looks like it was BECAUSE of the deafness. I still don't agree with the "usually" assertion, but I do agree that he/she has supported their premise.

You will note that NONE of that has to do with feelings. A statement was made that attempted to define the fact of reality. For example: either more men than women are at risk for heart disease because men have different genitalia, OR there is another reason that heart disease is more like to affect males. Either hearing people are USUALLY rude to D/deaf/HOH people BECAUSE of deafness or they are rude for a different motivating factor. Green asserted the former; I the later. Neither illegitimizes the other. Neither rebukes the other. Nor, I must firmly assert, was either 'out of line.' It's a conversation. If one only wishes to hear one's own ideas reflected back at them, one can only converse with a mirror. I prefer people, myself. I can't learn new things otherwise!
 
eirlys said:
Yeah.. different names for the same equivalent office. In Texas, our drivers license office is the DPS (Department of Public Safety).

I'm glad she was fired. Like I said, that was inexcusable. People need to understand that they can't just say whatever they want when they want to, especially when they are in a public service type position. Better yet.. but even more impossible.. people need to to get start understanding and accepting that everyone is different and just because they communicate differently, doesn't make them any less capable.
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Well said. I completely agree!
 
teamint said:
Grayma;
I have no problem with "venting." I never implied that I did. And I agree completely with the point you make that Deaf people experience rudeness through the lens of Deafness. That makes sense. I did not agree, however, with Green's statement that "Hearing people say inconsiderate things to everyone, but when it is aimed towards us deaf/HOH people, it is usually because we are deaf/HOH." When asked to clarify said statement (as you can re-read above), the clarification did not add anything new to my thinking.

I am not in any way implying that Green is not justified in feeling...well, ANYTHING really that Green may or may not feel. That's not in any way my place or business. But, he/she created a statement of FACT, not FEELING. Were he/she to say, "And it FEELS like they are being considerate because we are deaf/HOH," that would have been a VERY different statement. And I probably wouldn't have posted a response at all. That, however, if you reference above was not what was stated.

On the other hand, given Green's most recent posting: I agree that it does sound very much like an example of exactly what he/she was asserting. In that particular context, yeah - looks like it was BECAUSE of the deafness. I still don't agree with the "usually" assertion, but I do agree that he/she has supported their premise.

You will note that NONE of that has to do with feelings. A statement was made that attempted to define the fact of reality. For example: either more men than women are at risk for heart disease because men have different genitalia, OR there is another reason that heart disease is more like to affect males. Either hearing people are USUALLY rude to D/deaf/HOH people BECAUSE of deafness or they are rude for a different motivating factor. Green asserted the former; I the later. Neither illegitimizes the other. Neither rebukes the other. Nor, I must firmly assert, was either 'out of line.' It's a conversation. If one only wishes to hear one's own ideas reflected back at them, one can only converse with a mirror. I prefer people, myself. I can't learn new things otherwise!
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Green was correct. You should walk a mile in our shoes first. This thread also isn't for you to argue in. It is for us to vent.

It's a deaf thread.
 
teamint said:
Grayma;
I have no problem with "venting." I never implied that I did. And I agree completely with the point you make that Deaf people experience rudeness through the lens of Deafness. That makes sense. I did not agree, however, with Green's statement that "Hearing people say inconsiderate things to everyone, but when it is aimed towards us deaf/HOH people, it is usually because we are deaf/HOH." When asked to clarify said statement (as you can re-read above), the clarification did not add anything new to my thinking.
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Are you willing to walk into a room full of 50-60 year old black people and telling them that they were persecuted/discriminated against not because of their skin color, but because the white folks are just inconsiderate in nature?

Signing up on a forum full of deaf people and making statements like "I disagree you are being picked on by hearing people because you are deaf" is not going to earn you very many points.
 
KristinaB said:
Okay - here's another one.

Went to my local tag office to apply for a lost title for our Explorer. Hubby went with me as we are both on the title.... She was relieved of duty and the supervisor completed our transaction.
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Just wow. Lame. I'm sorry that happened to you. :(
 
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