Always the elephant in the room...

[AlleyCat]

You're such a flirt.

 

[deafdyke]

I was given the poem welcome to holland by the ski hi prgram which was incidentally sent to me by the state school for deaf and hoh. I read the poem looked at the lady and told her that the poem had nothing to do with my children, that I thought it was inappropriate and misguiding. I may be overstepping there but I am not to sure who would say something like that about their child.

YAHOO! A parent who GETS it. Like yeah, I do agree that parents of kids with severe mental issues (ie autism and mental handicaps) ARE facing a whole different world, and did go to Holland. But kids with just physical or sensory issues aren't really dealing with that sort of thing. I mean yeah, I'm HOH, but I still did stuff like play with dolls, listen to New Kids, go shopping, watch TV read etc etc.

 

[nickysunflower]

I think we would be great friends! Im a newlywed who is realizing that my hearing is getting worse. Ive always been HOH I have been " mainstreamed" my entire life, Im pretty sure that half of the time my family "forgot" about my hearing loss and/or chose to ignore it. This would explain why Im also a fantastic faker (I relied on lipreading growing up, but more times than not I found myself just smiling and nodding because I had no idea what was going on around me) and have never really been exposed to ASL or deaf culture. Unfortunately now that my hearing is getting worse I am starting to test out hearing aids again, which has been diffecult and even embarassing. Its akward when people I know ask why I need them " you hear just fine"they all say, right.... If they only knew. I guess sometimes I just feel like a total outsider and so I am very grateful that I found this site!!

Congratulations on your marriage! I know wearing hearing aids can be a hard transition. People are very curious, and don't always know as much as they think they do. People never stare a people who wear glasses or ask questions about it. If you need hearing aids it is for your benefit. They are a tool like glasses. I am thankful when people see my hearing aids because then they are aware they I don't hear well. People are less likely to lose patience when I ask them to repeat themselves. If you don't want people to see them can you cover them with your hair? I can't because I have no hair. I hope that you find aids that work well for you, and you are comfortable with. Be proud of who you are. I have a frind who I see every Friday since Aug. Sunday evening she noticed my hearing aids for the firt time. I think they are very noticeable but not as much as I thought apparently. I hope that you, and your spouse can learn ASL together. It will make things less stressful.

 

[Bebonang]

I found a FB post that, while not directly related to hearing, seems to apply here.

This post struck me as creepy. First, the mother is so needy and self-absorbed. It falls into the "all about me" category. The mother seems to put the son into a spouse roll. Yuck! Interestingly, the mom in question is divorced.

Second, the idea that a person is a thing from God to use as a friend is disturbing. Children are not things, and children do not come to be our friends. This point hits home when mom has to make a decision unpopular with her teen son.

I can't imagine this applying to a well-adjusted mom and her son. A mother/adult son relationship between two adults is not based on this. This is an example of a parent who uses a child to satisfy her own needs rather than meet the needs of the child. It's more obvious because the child is an adult and the idea is very inappropriate.

Maybe deafness/HOH is similar. The child may become a thing to meet the parent's needs to parents who are less than well-adjusted. It happens.

On the bold statement, it sound reasonable of what parents expect the behavior from the child as we are the thing, not human being.

I can see your point clearly of what you are mentioning about. Lots of parents especially the Moms does not see it clearly when they read the poem. As parents, even disability people, are blind not seeing what is written on the poem. Thank you for showing it to us so that we can wake up and realize what is behind the poem. That is scary and not funny at all.

 

[deafdyke]

I was given the poem welcome to holland by the ski hi prgram which was incidentally sent to me by the state school for deaf and hoh. I read the poem looked at the lady and told her that the poem had nothing to do with my children, that I thought it was inappropriate and misguiding. I may be overstepping there but I am not to sure who would say something like that about their child.

Blondon, I know! Parents who are "greiving" the loss of a "healthy normal" child. I don't get it. I really don't. On my HOH listserv there are SO many parents who post whining about "oh boohoohoo my child has to wear hearing aids or can't hear." or they'll obess over getting a hearing aid for their unilaterally HOH kid or whine about "oh this is a club I never wanted to join?!?!"

 

[blondon704]

Blondon, I know! Parents who are "greiving" the loss of a "healthy normal" child. I don't get it. I really don't. On my HOH listserv there are SO many parents who post whining about "oh boohoohoo my child has to wear hearing aids or can't hear." or they'll obess over getting a hearing aid for their unilaterally HOH kid or whine about "oh this is a club I never wanted to join?!?!"

My child is normal He loves toy story, he loves to play with play doh, he loves to beat the crap out of his siblings. Hearing aids remind me of glasses honestly they never really bothered me when the docs told me he would have to have them. I know parents like that thought it is not cool. The one thing that I did think but regret was "did I do something, what did I do to make him not hear" I regret that,

 

[deafdyke]

My child is normal He loves toy story, he loves to play with play doh, he loves to beat the crap out of his siblings. Hearing aids remind me of glasses honestly they never really bothered me when the docs told me he would have to have them. I know parents like that thought it is not cool. The one thing that I did think but regret was "did I do something, what did I do to make him not hear" I regret that,

At least you regret thinking that. God, some of the parents out there.....Seriously, being HOH (or blind/low vision or CP or any other countless relatively mild disabilties) is not that big of a deal. When you see the way parents react its like "what? Do you want some Designer "perfect" child?"