Age Gap Relationship

caz said:
DO op want advice because I think the older one is selfish...I would been heart broken if my son done that at 18 also be saddened if he been older one..If 21plus I live with it but at least let young one have had chance do done something other than leave school get married..
Watching tv about this sort of thing 16yr old married 58yr old..the other was 28yr old man married 90yr old woman..they said happy but how define it if known nothing else school and marriage
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People have different tastes. Some like spiced food some dont.some are attracted to older people, some to youngwer...
Its that simple really.
Its easy to wag a finger and judge, in the end it doesnt matter. Best to
Live and let live.
 
YEAH and lots of men like hot 18yr old girl..sorry hoichi my fingers are wagged I will judge.the 34yr old getting what he wants the 18yr old don't know as yet what do want
 
lot these poor girls don't get chose we assuming 34yr old from west not some poor little thing no chose from somewhere like Africa
 
caz said:
YEAH and lots of men like hot 18yr old girl..sorry hoichi my fingers are wagged I will judge.the 34yr old getting what he wants the 18yr old don't know as yet what do want
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So what?
They are adults...good for them...
 
It's pretty clear that some people are ok with a significant age gap, and others aren't.

To Gerald, if you were inquiring to sample the reaction, this is probably what you can expect from friends, family, and strangers. Some people will be ok with a significant age gap and others will respond negatively and voice their disapproval.

I have a friend who married someone significantly older than her, they have a 20+ year gap, and she lost some "friends" over it for some reason. People can be weird about it.

The most important thing is how the two people who are getting involved feel. If things feel right, and you can handle potential push-back from friends and family, give it a try.
 
if she to young to have a bet or go into bar in your country then to young to marry.sorry hoichi I stick with my view on this one
 
caz said:
if she to young to have a bet or go into bar in your country then to young to marry.sorry hoichi I stick with my view on this one
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Marriage is legal as soon as you hit 18 in the US, even though the drinking age is 21. And isn't the drinking age in the UK 18? Why does it matter what the drinking age is in the country? it's different everywhere...

Plus, Gerald asked about a relationship age gap, not necessarily marriage.
 
hoichi said:
So are you suggesting the age of consent be moved up past 18?
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Well that'd imply that 18 year olds aren't capable of making rational decisions on their own yet, so we should up the voting age in that case too, ya?
 
caz said:
if she to young to have a bet or go into bar in your country then to young to marry.sorry hoichi I stick with my view on this one
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Thats not how it works...age of consent is lower then.drinking age.
Really in my opinion if the state believes your old enough to have your and other peoples lives in your hand by allowing you the responsibilty of owning and opperating a motor vehicle..then your okd enough to decide who you sleep with.
Really
 
hoichi said:
So are you suggesting the age of consent be moved up past 18?
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No... age has to be placed somewhere... 18 is not a bad choice... however... 18 year olds are typically still in high school and suddenly that magic number says they cannot fornicate with their 16 year old girl/boy friend anymore... what I am saying is, as a 34 year old, i have no business tapping an 18 year old... I find the idea repungent.... an 18 year old is bearly legal... if they find that age attractive what of the 13 year olds that look the same? An 18 year old does not have the life, goals, or ambitions that a 34 year old does... let the 18 year old grow up... I believe people do not know crap until they hit 30 and only then do they start getting one.
 
Jezie said:
No... age has to be placed somewhere... 18 is not a bad choice... however... 18 year olds are typically still in high school and suddenly that magic number says they cannot fornicate with their 16 year old girl/boy friend anymore... what I am saying is, as a 34 year old, i have no business tapping an 18 year old... I find the idea repungent.... an 18 year old is bearly legal... if they find that age attractive what of the 13 year olds that look the same? An 18 year old does not have the life, goals, or ambitions that a 34 year old does... let the 18 year old grow up... I believe people do not know crap until they hit 30 and only then do they start getting one.
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13 year olds do not look like 18 year olds. Granted some 18 year olds look a lot younger and some 13 year olds look a bit older, but on average 13 year olds look like little kids, and 18 year olds look like young adults.

Biologically, males are wired to find youth attractive. It hearkens back to finding a healthy mate who can bare many offspring. And females are wired to find strong mates who can protect them. Biologically speaking, it's far from weird.

That said, personally, and thinking serious relationship, I think early 20s is as young as a 30-something should go; and I think both people should be in similar stations in life. If the 30-something has a house, a solid career with a 9-5, etc., but the 20-something is still in school (college/uni), works an odd hours part time job, and lives with their parents, odds are it's not gonna work out so well.

But if the 30-something has a cheap apartment, an entry level position, and the 20-something is in the place in their life, it probably has a good chance to succeed. They'll grow together instead of one catching up, or forever being supported/nurtured (which might work for some people too honestly).

I wouldn't defriend someone, or shun them if they decided they felt differently and engaged in such a relationship though. But, maybe if the younger person were totally immature, I might spend less time with said friend. I just have no desire to hang around with highschool-mentality kids. most are stupid and scary (this goes for 30-something adults who think they're still in higschool too).
 
Nic said:
13 year olds do not look like 18 year olds. Granted some 18 year olds look a lot younger and some 13 year olds look a bit older, but on average 13 year olds look like little kids, and 18 year olds look like young adults.
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Have to disagree... some do and some do not... how old do super models look? They are generally in the 13-16 age range... kids I see around me... crazy how young they are... hormones and other crap in food is caui ng kids to mature quicker and earlier... and it is just part of nature...
 
Jezie said:
Have to disagree... some do and some do not... how old do super models look? They are generally in the 13-16 age range... kids I see around me... crazy how young they are... hormones and other crap in food is caui ng kids to mature quicker and earlier... and it is just part of nature...
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2 things, super models are done up with crazy makeup and photoshop magic, and the average age of a super model is not 13-16, it's something like 16-21. Most agencies require 16 min.

You can't compare overly makeup laden, photoshopped, posed, and primped super models to average 18 year olds. On that line of thought, look at the pageant kids... most 4 year olds don't look like honey-boo-boo. Most 18 year olds don't look like supermodels.

It feels like kids mature quicker as we age, but in reality, they don't. Think back to your senior year in highschool. Were you a kid? Were you friends just little kids? Definitely more immature... Definitely young... Definitely stupid... How about the 1st year of college? Still pretty stupid... but not just a kid. Some high school 18 year olds aren't just kids either.

Lots of 18 year olds are out on their own... age is only part of maturity. Some 18 year olds are fully self sufficient. Should they not be allowed to make these decisions for themselves? They pay taxes, they support themselves...

I don't know. It's a tough topic because every situation is different. I still hold that this boils down to station in life and maturity level. Pure age is less important, and legally speaking, anyone over 18 can marry and do whatever they please.
 
Nic said:
2 things, super models are done up with crazy makeup and photoshop magic, and the average age of a super model is not 13-16, it's something like 16-21. Most agencies require 16 min.

You can't compare overly makeup laden, photoshopped, posed, and primped super models to average 18 year olds. On that line of thought, look at the pageant kids... most 4 year olds don't look like honey-boo-boo. Most 18 year olds don't look like supermodels.

It feels like kids mature quicker as we age, but in reality, they don't. Think back to your senior year in highschool. Were you a kid? Were you friends just little kids? Definitely more immature... Definitely young... Definitely stupid... How about the 1st year of college? Still pretty stupid... but not just a kid. Some high school 18 year olds aren't just kids either.

Lots of 18 year olds are out on their own... age is only part of maturity. Some 18 year olds are fully self sufficient. Should they not be allowed to make these decisions for themselves? They pay taxes, they support themselves...

I don't know. It's a tough topic because every situation is different. I still hold that this boils down to station in life and maturity level. Pure age is less important, and legally speaking, anyone over 18 can marry and do whatever they please.
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Matters not about the make up or anything... These are the body sizes and styles that society is told is attractive... Thus women strive to be and others find desierable... I dislike trying to use an absolute or near absolutes... For every pic you show me of a 13 year old that looks younger I can find one that looks older... Makes no difference...

When I was 18, I was working various jobs, paying bills, and struggling just to survive... Had been doing so for serval years by then...And yet, I was and so were everyone else in that age group still just a kid.

I am not arguing their maturity, nor of their age of concent. All I am arguing is that, a 34 year old that seeks out or is with an 18 year old is suspicious to me. Bump the science or even what I see when looking at kids today... My opinion is geared through my life experience...
If one was 28 and the other 44 I would not give a flip... It would not faze me in the least...


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Jezie said:
Not too much of an age gap, but with one being 18 ... I find that too close to being a pedo... but not my monkeys...
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MMcC said:
My partner and I met when I was 32. He was 60 at the time. We are celebrating our 25th anniversary this week! Yay!. If you think that age defines you, then you will be stuck with that perspective. If you think that your soulmate might be any age... then you may find happiness

You in 30's that different you had ten plus years to define your life 18 not had that.tthayt great turned out well but for many it he want to..people were horrified when that teacher had 12yr olds child twice.what can young boy see in teacher apart from mother figure which not ideal reason to marry or lust noooooo. I think it wrong until woman had time do what she wants like they both enjoy things if after ten years re_valuate it again
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Nic said:
Well that'd imply that 18 year olds aren't capable of making rational decisions on their own yet, so we should up the voting age in that case too, ya?
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Im not calling for that. But its a good question.
 
Jezie said:
No... age has to be placed somewhere... 18 is not a bad choice... however... 18 year olds are typically still in high school and suddenly that magic number says they cannot fornicate with their 16 year old girl/boy friend anymore... what I am saying is, as a 34 year old, i have no business tapping an 18 year old... I find the idea repungent.... an 18 year old is bearly legal... if they find that age attractive what of the 13 year olds that look the same? An 18 year old does not have the life, goals, or ambitions that a 34 year old does... let the 18 year old grow up... I believe people do not know crap until they hit 30 and only then do they start getting one.
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Sure. But it ignores individuals..people are different.
Further.
If its about sex and fun. Then having the gols ambitions so on as you stated doesnt much come into play.
If 18 is the age of consenst, many places its 16. Then so be it. Thats their choice.
Are you asking what if regrding a 13 year old that looks like a 18 or 19 year old? The person involved better check the id, throughly....thats that..
 
caz said:
MMcC said:
My partner and I met when I was 32. He was 60 at the time. We are celebrating our 25th anniversary this week! Yay!. If you think that age defines you, then you will be stuck with that perspective. If you think that your soulmate might be any age... then you may find happiness



You in 30's that different you had ten plus years to define your life 18 not had that.tthayt great turned out well but for many it he want to..people were horrified when that teacher had 12yr olds child twice.what can young boy see in teacher apart from mother figure which not ideal reason to marry or lust noooooo. I think it wrong until woman had time do what she wants like they both enjoy things if after ten years re_valuate it again
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Age does not define a person... That is not my point... Maybe it is a vague line that is hard to see... But it is just my opinion... Not saying it is right or wrong... Just my thought and beliefs.. Like you said, at 18 they need time and then can reevaluate... At what point? No clue... Maybe mid 20s ... Really it is hard because technically they are not that far apart... Just 18... Bearly legal...
Congrats on your up coming annversery... Not many make it to that mark... Awesome awesome!


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