Adjustment to late onset deafness

I'm 16 and HOH, eventually will become completely deaf. I'm having trouble with fitting in, learning ASL, and I have no HOH or deaf friends.. I feel lost and alone.


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christineatsflowers said:
I'm 16 and HOH, eventually will become completely deaf. I'm having trouble with fitting in, learning ASL, and I have no HOH or deaf friends.. I feel lost and alone.


Posted from Alldeaf.com App for Android
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I'll be your friend! I like making friends. :D
 
Hi tory, I am sorry to hear about your hearing loss. I hope it progresses very very slowly. I think learning ASL is going to be wonderful for you. Since you are almost college age, maybe look at colleges who have asl classes. Also, maybe check out colleges in areas that have deaf communities. I know it's so upsetting to get this news. Has your doctor ruled out certain causes? I recently found out there is a surgery that canhelp me w mmy type of hearing loss, although I know there are lots of causes that don't have many options. Do you have hearing aids? Sometime, especially at the beginning, they help a lot.
 
christineatsflowers said:
I'm 16 and HOH, eventually will become completely deaf. I'm having trouble with fitting in, learning ASL, and I have no HOH or deaf friends.. I feel lost and alone.


Posted from Alldeaf.com App for Android
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Hi Christine, welcome to all deaf. A lot of people here know exactly what your going throug . You've come to the right place. It gets better (hugs)
 
BrittBritt said:
Hi tory, I am sorry to hear about your hearing loss. I hope it progresses very very slowly. I think learning ASL is going to be wonderful for you. Since you are almost college age, maybe look at colleges who have asl classes. Also, maybe check out colleges in areas that have deaf communities. I know it's so upsetting to get this news. Has your doctor ruled out certain causes? I recently found out there is a surgery that canhelp me w mmy type of hearing loss, although I know there are lots of causes that don't have many options. Do you have hearing aids? Sometime, especially at the beginning, they help a lot.
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My doctor isn't sure why I'm losing my hearing. There is no known cause for it. It's one of the scariest things about this. I really don't know where I fit in. I don't know if I'm considered hearing because I do still have most of my hearing, or if I'm considered HOH because I'm losing my hearing... The college that I'm going to doesn't offer any ASL classes, and there isn't really a Deaf community here. I don't have hearing aids because my family can't afford it. It's just me and my dad. My dad isn't really supportive to begin with... I'll be listening to music in the living room with my headphones and have it turned up loud so that I can understand the lyrics, and he'll kick me to get my attention and tell me to turn it down, that he can hear it.
 
I don't have hearing aids because my family can't afford it. It's just me and my dad.
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AAH-- for young people, there are plenty of options. Check with the local Lions club. Your school's special education department should have the right contacts. It is easily done. :cool2:
 
Hi my name is Patricia, i am new to this site, i lost most of my hearing in my right ear & some in my left about a year ago, i wear a hearing aid to help but sometimes it doesn't when my kids talk to me from another room, if i don't respond to them they get mad, i have tried telling them that they need to be in the same room with me and stand a little closer when they speak to me, my kids have no idea what it is like for me, i am mom and mom's aren't suppose to feel sad or depressed, but i do, i want to cry sometime, anyway my question, dose anyone know of a web site that might help my family to understand how hard this is on me? i want them to know i am still me just trying to adjust to my new life. Thanks for listening to a newbie.
 
christineatsflowers said:
I'm 16 and HOH, eventually will become completely deaf. I'm having trouble with fitting in, learning ASL, and I have no HOH or deaf friends.. I feel lost and alone.


Posted from Alldeaf.com App for Android
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Ikr... most deaf people are old :P

PS. Don't think you will become completely deaf one day, not every HoH person becomes completely deaf over time :)
 
MCB said:
AAH-- for young people, there are plenty of options. Check with the local Lions club. Your school's special education department should have the right contacts. It is easily done. :cool2:
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And some states mandate insurance pay at least part if the cost for kids.
 
Hi Patricia,

I went through this with my Granddaughter. One time when she really showed bad attitude and rudeness about my not hearing her, I made her wear my heavy-duty woodworking hearing protector muffs for several hours. That was a huge reality check for her. I talked to her and she experienced what I experience every day. Whenever she starts showing attitude about it I make her put the muffs back on.
 
Pjn29again said:
Hi my name is Patricia, i am new to this site, i lost most of my hearing in my right ear & some in my left about a year ago, i wear a hearing aid to help but sometimes it doesn't when my kids talk to me from another room, if i don't respond to them they get mad, i have tried telling them that they need to be in the same room with me and stand a little closer when they speak to me, my kids have no idea what it is like for me, i am mom and mom's aren't suppose to feel sad or depressed, but i do, i want to cry sometime, anyway my question, dose anyone know of a web site that might help my family to understand how hard this is on me? i want them to know i am still me just trying to adjust to my new life. Thanks for listening to a newbie.
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My grandson gets mad at me too. He says I'm not listening to him or I'm talking wrong (when I answer him incorrectly). He's three. It's a humbling situation.
 
So as I have posted I have recently become hoh. During that time I have noticed a lot of things that I am missing but last night was perhaps the worst. I had my cellphone on vibrate on the living room chair. I was home alone. My bf was apparently knocking and calling my cell for 20 mins before I walked past the door and realized it. Right now I am waiting for my second ha to come in. It should be in tomorrow. I had the own aid in but couldn't hear it at all. Had no idea he was out there. I really starting to get nervous that I will lose my hearing all together.
 
I just visited my family and some have forgotten that I'm deaf and relay heavily on lip reading. I know my hearing has been getting worse and may get to a point where I can't benefit a hearing aid at all. Still trying to adjust to this change even though this new hearing aid is.... I think 2 or 3 yrs old now (always had hearing loss since I was 5, nerve damage, but been dropping worse). It's tiring for me trying to read lips all the time. I know some ASL but I need to practice more :(

It's very easy to feel discouraged trying to listen when you know what you had isn't there anymore. I've actually done pretty good adjusting to changes. Trying to listen to music in a new way, trying to teach myself ASL best I can.
 
ladysolitary85 said:
It's very easy to feel discouraged trying to listen when you know what you had isn't there anymore. I've actually done pretty good adjusting to changes. Trying to listen to music in a new way, trying to teach myself ASL best I can.
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Just wanted to reassure you and encourage you that you are doing the best you can.

As someone going through a similar deafness journey, I know how difficult it is to adapt and make these fundamental changes to your life. Most people don't have this progressive hearing loss forced upon them, and thus unconsciously project their stability onto people like us with progressive loss.

The fact that you have changed and adapted (for example, you've started learning some ASL) is admirable and I'm hopeful you'll continue to find the strength to adapt, even if it isn't appreciated by others including your family.

I know I often feel discouraged. For example I'm struggling to get fluent in BSL, even though I've been learning for a while now. My initial progress was good and I thought I would have grasped it by now, but I'm nowhere near.
 
AJWSmith said:
Just wanted to reassure you and encourage you that you are doing the best you can.

As someone going through a similar deafness journey, I know how difficult it is to adapt and make these fundamental changes to your life. Most people don't have this progressive hearing loss forced upon them, and thus unconsciously project their stability onto people like us with progressive loss.

The fact that you have changed and adapted (for example, you've started learning some ASL) is admirable and I'm hopeful you'll continue to find the strength to adapt, even if it isn't appreciated by others including your family.

I know I often feel discouraged. For example I'm struggling to get fluent in BSL, even though I've been learning for a while now. My initial progress was good and I thought I would have grasped it by now, but I'm nowhere near.
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:hug: Thanks for always being a friend :aw:

I applaud you for learning BSL, its not easy (well the finger spelling always throws me off:giggle:) But I know you'll get it down! I'm teaching myself ASL as I know enough to understand and carry on a basic conversation, I know I need to learn more. I need to reach out to my local deaf community since my counselor advised for me that it would be the best way to pick up ASL, I'm rather shy in person :giggle:I know I need to break that!

My biggest struggle is with some hearies trying to speak for me in gatherings saying I'm HOH and I correct them and say that I'm deaf. Then thats followed by "You speak so well! you must be incredibly smart!" :roll: Now I know why some of us voice off. Or if I have my hearing aid in some people expect me to listen and to lip read accurately, and to be honest it gets tiring.
 
This describes me to a "t" - People assume that because I can speak, that I can hear them. The reality is that I am actually 100%, completely deaf. So, I made the choice to go voice off and rely on texting, writing things down, and lip reading. Beside, I don't like using my voice anyway, as I hate not knowing how i sound.

ladysolitary85 said:
:hug: Thanks for always being a friend :aw:


My biggest struggle is with some hearies trying to speak for me in gatherings saying I'm HOH and I correct them and say that I'm deaf. Then thats followed by "You speak so well! you must be incredibly smart!" :roll: Now I know why some of us voice off. Or if I have my hearing aid in some people expect me to listen and to lip read accurately, and to be honest it gets tiring.
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glickchick said:
This describes me to a "t" - People assume that because I can speak, that I can hear them. The reality is that I am actually 100%, completely deaf. So, I made the choice to go voice off and rely on texting, writing things down, and lip reading. Beside, I don't like using my voice anyway, as I hate not knowing how i sound.
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I haven't actively talked on the phone since I got my hearing aid (newer one so for about um... 2 yrs now.) Now that I relay heavily on texting or e-mails, I find myself being incredibly annoyed when I people watch some on their cells and I think to myself "omg was I THAT annoying?". I rarely listen to music (unless I already know the song, or follow the lyrics because one day I was really excited to see my favorite band sing live on Larry King in years and I was instantly heart broken when I only heard gibberish and balled my eyes out. So since then, I don't really listen to music which was a bit hard to adjust with because music was my therapy at times).
 
Been having more trouble understanding people lately. Feel the worst about my younger girls. The soft, higher voices are tough, and they don't speak as well as older kids (grammar and short sentences) so it's hard to get things in context. The youngest changes topics a lot.
 
soulchill said:
Been having more trouble understanding people lately. Feel the worst about my younger girls. The soft, higher voices are tough, and they don't speak as well as older kids (grammar and short sentences) so it's hard to get things in context. The youngest changes topics a lot.
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I'm having more trouble recently too. Very frustrated right now. :-/
 
I can relate too. My cousin's two boys were visiting me the last few days and they kept playing with my hearing aids - they were are three and four. I had to take them out so the youngest one would quit trying to grab at them and see what was so interesting with them.

At one point they kept talking and I was so confused trying to understand them. I felt so bad because they just were playing and telling me stories (wild toddler stories) but I just had to keep nodding my head and pretend I knew what they were saying.

Fortunately, I was able to distract them with a walk to the park and it turned out to be a decent stay mostly.
 
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