Adjustment to late onset deafness

:wave:inmate 23!

yes, I can understand what you mean.

people have this very false notion that LD's is a children's thing and that it means you can't read

just if I physically do hear something, doesn't mean I process it to understanding, for any of the reasons I've described


hope you can get what you need!
 
dogmom said:
:wave:inmate 23!


yes, I can understand what you mean.

people have this very false notion that LD's is a children's thing and that it means you can't read

just if I physically do hear something, doesn't mean I process it to understanding, for any of the reasons I've described


hope you can get what you need!
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thanks i dont hold my breath

when it comes to terps i no the score its all about hearing levels

i wish every1 didnt think the day i left school i stopped the needing accommodations. i left because i was so good at "masking"(being a loud mouth, desaturation because i couldnt hear or see what was infront of me. i was g-d damn GOOD that the school was refusing me educational services that the hospital was requesting)

if im on a course its not place my organise and pay for the accommodations to my written work but also cant stir the pot with course cause any trouble and your out.
 
Isn't LISTENING- paying attention-mentally- to what is being spoken? I acknowledge if one's doesn't "hear" one can't pay attention/listen. Alternate means: written/ ASL?

Implanted A B Harmony activated Aug/07
 
drphil said:
Isn't LISTENING- paying attention-mentally- to what is being spoken? I acknowledge if one's doesn't "hear" one can't pay attention/listen. Alternate means: written/ ASL?

Implanted A B Harmony activated Aug/07
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Your use of quotation marks in "hear" introduces new dimensions. Do you mean written or "written", ASL or "ASL?" :giggle:
 
drphil said:
Isn't LISTENING- paying attention-mentally- to what is being spoken? I acknowledge if one's doesn't "hear" one can't pay attention/listen. Alternate means: written/ ASL?

Implanted A B Harmony activated Aug/07
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Not necessarily to what is spoken. One can listen with their eyes, as well. Listening is simply directing attention to the message being communicated.

Paying attention certainly is not dependent upon hearing. As is evidenced by the amount of information that hearing people use to make sense of communication that is not audible.
 
drphil said:
Isn't LISTENING- paying attention-mentally- to what is being spoken? I acknowledge if one's doesn't "hear" one can't pay attention/listen. Alternate means: written/ ASL?

Implanted A B Harmony activated Aug/07
Click to expand...

I "listen" each Sunday while at church. The church currently has no interpreter and even if it did, I don't know enough ASL for it to matter. Nothing the Pastor says is written, so I have to read lips. I miss some of what he says, but for the most part, with my "listening" I know where in the Bible we are to go to, I know mostly what he is speaking of and I even can mostly get the announcements. He now understands my issues, and is now making out a Sunday bulletin.

I "listen" while at home daily. My family does not know ASL. I have to listen with my eyes, or read lips, read facial expressions, and so on. So, don't EVER say that you have to hear to be able to listen!! You have yet to walk a mile in my shoes and go through what I have to go through. At least our other total deaf person knows ASL. I haven't gotten there yet.
 
My former audi gave me the "you're not listening" speech, after which she tried to sell me some stupid software. She was so annoying that I left.
 
random update...frustrated, pissed, and tired...

I made my first post to A/D a year or so ago here as an introduction. At that time, I had mild-severe hearing loss, was fitted with open-tip ha's and life headed back to normalland.

In the last year or so, I've had to return several times to the audi, getting new audiograms every 90 days or so, and mods to my ha's to accommodate the changes and degree of loss.

In Feb of this year, my right ear was measured at (250-8000) 25-25-45-50-75-85-100 with speech discrim at 52 @ 25dbl.

I was fitted for skelly molds and my aids were adjusted to help the change in my charts.

On 5-23, my right ear was measured at (250-8000) 30-30-45-50-60-80-110-110 with speech discrim at 4% @ 90dbl.

I got another MRI b/c Dr suspected a benign tumor on the auditory nerve b/c Meniere's should not cause this rapid of a hearing loss, esp. in speech discrim. The MRI came back negative.

I've pretty much decided to stop chasing my tail on this and let be what will be. I'll return back to my audi to see what she wants to do for this adjustment.

I was diag'd last year with atypical menieres ... my question is simply this -- has anyone else experienced a similar, or worse, rate of loss? Can anyone tell me what to expect, because the doctors sure can't....

thanks for listening...

--mike :wave:

fwiw - I listed the details on the right side since it's the most affected and variable. My left on the last test was 20-20-30-35-45-60-80 with speech discrim at 96% @ 65dbl (down from 40dbl previously).
 
Hey wyntr,
Yeah...I've been experiencing a really rapid hearing loss within the last year. I was diagnosed with menieres several years ago. But, the sudden and rapid loss of hearing this last year has left me all but stone deaf. All I get now is a really annoying buzzing "sound"....more of a sensation when I try to talk. My speech has gotten a bit messed up too. I can't hear the sounds anymore so I don't know when I've gotten too loud until my throat feels like it's been ripped out. I've gotten to where I don't like talking much...especially in public...because people look at me weird. My hubby explained to me that my speech sounds really "off". I've noticed people staring really hard at us when we are out in public and signing to each other too. It's a hell of an adjustment to being deaf. I had always hoped my hearing loss would never have gotten so severe as it has...but like you I finally just accepted it and my hubby and I are adjusting as well as we can. Sometimes it gets to me, other times it doesn't really bother me.

I suspect you may eventually end up like me...pretty much completely deaf. I dunno why doctors aren't always honest with their patients except maybe by keeping their patients coming back means more money in their pockets.

I would definitely recommend learning ASL...and getting involved with some of the Deaf Groups in your area. It does help.
 
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:wave: hi thank you for your posting iam new at this and reading your post made me feel a lot better thank you :lol:
 
i lost my hearing only a couple of months ago and have been finding it very very difficult to adjust. i didnt realise how much i relied on being able to hear until i couldnt hear so well! i have a moderate-severe hearing loss and can't wear hearing aids. it's affecting every aspect of my life and i'm finding it hard to adjust!
 
el888, it's a huge adjustment. Give yourself time to adjust. Be patient and gentle with yourself. Do you live where you can find Deaf/HOH community? Connecting with that community has helped me tremedously in RL. AD is also great virtual support.

Each person's journey is unique. There is not right or wrong way to adjust.
 
el...888 said:
i lost my hearing only a couple of months ago and have been finding it very very difficult to adjust. i didnt realise how much i relied on being able to hear until i couldnt hear so well! i have a moderate-severe hearing loss and can't wear hearing aids. it's affecting every aspect of my life and i'm finding it hard to adjust!
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Think of the 7 stages of grief:
Here is the grief model called "The 7 Stages of Grief":


7 Stages of Grief...

1. SHOCK & DENIAL-
You will probably react to learning of the loss with numbed disbelief. You may deny the reality of the loss at some level, in order to avoid the pain. Shock provides emotional protection from being overwhelmed all at once. This may last for weeks.

2. PAIN & GUILT-
As the shock wears off, it is replaced with the suffering of unbelievable pain. Although excruciating and almost unbearable, it is important that you experience the pain fully, and not hide it, avoid it or escape from it with alcohol or drugs.

You may have guilty feelings or remorse over things you did or didn't do with your loved one. Life feels chaotic and scary during this phase.

3. ANGER & BARGAINING-
Frustration gives way to anger, and you may lash out and lay unwarranted blame for the death on someone else. Please try to control this, as permanent damage to your relationships may result. This is a time for the release of bottled up emotion.

You may rail against fate, questioning "Why me?" You may also try to bargain in vain with the powers that be for a way out of your despair ("I will never drink again if you just bring him back")

4. "DEPRESSION", REFLECTION, LONELINESS-
Just when your friends may think you should be getting on with your life, a long period of sad reflection will likely overtake you. This is a normal stage of grief, so do not be "talked out of it" by well-meaning outsiders. Encouragement from others is not helpful to you during this stage of grieving.

During this time, you finally realize the true magnitude of your loss, and it depresses you. You may isolate yourself on purpose, reflect on things you did with your lost one, and focus on memories of the past. You may sense feelings of emptiness or despair.

7 Stages of Grief...

5. THE UPWARD TURN-
As you start to adjust to life without your dear one, your life becomes a little calmer and more organized. Your physical symptoms lessen, and your "depression" begins to lift slightly.

6. RECONSTRUCTION & WORKING THROUGH-
As you become more functional, your mind starts working again, and you will find yourself seeking realistic solutions to problems posed by life without your loved one. You will start to work on practical and financial problems and reconstructing yourself and your life without him or her.

7. ACCEPTANCE & HOPE-
During this, the last of the seven stages in this grief model, you learn to accept and deal with the reality of your situation. Acceptance does not necessarily mean instant happiness. Given the pain and turmoil you have experienced, you can never return to the carefree, untroubled YOU that existed before this tragedy. But you will find a way forward.

7 stages of grief...

You will start to look forward and actually plan things for the future. Eventually, you will be able to think about your lost loved one without pain; sadness, yes, but the wrenching pain will be gone. You will once again anticipate some good times to come, and yes, even find joy again in the experience of living.

7 STAGES OF GRIEF
 
Thanks, MizWitch!

Hey MizWitch -- thanks for the reply... what you've experienced appears to be exactly what I'm going through.

My friends are either sympathetic or horrified depending on the degree that it impacts them.

For me, there's a sense of peace that comes with acceptance. I'm not chasing the doctors anymore since all they do is exacerbate my sense of frustration and why should I continuously put myself through that?

I do know sign. My PSE is very strong, my ASL is so-so and I've been spending several nights a week in social groups strengthening the latter. I learned sign almost 30 years ago from folks that were in their 60's then so my signs are pretty damn old which tickles the younger signers. (They love correcting me!) (See also: Irony, my new favorite sign!)

Mentally, I'm in a better place now. Day-to-day life can be a real challenge, like getting what I want in a restaurant, but that's ok. There's advantages too, so it all works out in the end.

I deeply appreciate all the support and commentary that I read here. (Not just to me, but in general.) I think some of you have no idea how significant of an impact, and how grateful people are, for your words of encouragement.

Thank you.
 
Ya know I thought I was at stage 7... but this week I feel like I've really only just hit stage 4 or maybe I back tracked?

Struggling...
 
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