Abusive Relationship

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Cheri

Prayers for my dad.
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Have u ever been into an abusive relationship or marriage? What can u tell those people who been into one? How can u help them get the help they needed? If u have been in an abusive realtionship feel free to tell ur story if you want. *smile*
 
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I have seen abusive relationships before. However, it wasn't the guy abusing the gal... it was the other way around. Pitiful... :(
 
well, i had been in abustive marriage.. whoaaaaa i had hard time with this!!! BUT i moved on!!! thanks god!!!! whew!!!! i NEVER get this wrong person who is abustive AGAIN!!!! yea i did talked one of my very good friend abt this so she DID helped me move out!!!! i thanked her so much that she helped me!!!!!
 
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Have seen too many abusive relationships. My parents were in one of those. Pathetic. Many people don't realize that the abuse between two in a domestic relationship does affect everybody around them. Family, Friends, and even the co-workers.

Hmph, for the victim of the abuse (man or woman) I think they just should get out of it the second it brews/starts (whichever comes first... who knows). If they got struck once or had been put down, then they should just leave their partner, despite their "true love" for them. If their abusive partners love the victims, they would straight up and/or learn their lesson and/or leave the victims to understand that the partner doesn't give a flying **** about her/him. Either of those options would determine the outcome of the relationship- to an end or to a better change.

I know many relationships that are doomed because their fear to being alone ("I have been lived with him for three years, and this is just one of the phase. Plus, i love him too greatly to leave him! I have to give him a chance") :roll: I must admit that I don't get along with many women because many of those are ... pathetic in my opinion due to their willingness to be degraded by their partner/spouse. No guts, but at the same time, I understand them because they have lost their courage to stand up for themselves. Prehaps I am the rarity in the species of women that are too... feminist/self-confident for the opposite gender to tame. Who knows?

THose women probably would say this to me if I mention the previous message to them, "You never have been fallen in love then if you dont understand us!"... Well at least I am glad I am not in love with some abusive bastard.
I terminated many potential relationship on the accounts of emotional/verbal abuse. I don't take anybody's crap. If you accept the verbal/emotional abuse, that abuse will turn into a form of physical abuse over the times.
Don't believe me? Wait until you wind up in a hospital room.

I know I am bluntly cruel but that is the fact. the cold hard truth. Sad but true. :sadwave:
 
Well,

I believe that U have to LIVE in their shoes to know what its like.....and to live through the traumatic experiences involving the abusions......
 
Have u ever seen a true story Movie? I saw One Movie about ' Cry for Help The Tracy T.. Story'...that Movie made me cry...made me angry....how the Police Department did not do anything about it.....How many times she had report on him...How many times she had told them she had a court papers....They still will not do anything about it.....What made the Police Department in her hometown finally woke up when she was beaten and stabbed by her ex husband in front of her son and the whole block......How sad it had to go that way.....There had to be some laws to protect them from being killed after leaving their spouse.. but this police dept. did nothing to help this lady Tracy after all those time she had went to the police dept. and had a order to have him stay away from her and he kept coming back to beat her over and over... and the police did nothing until that last day he stabbed her and cut her throat.. right in front of the police officers watching how it happend.. its horriable...to tell u the truth its hard to leave an abusive husband or wife knowing they might come after you and finished you.. that very scary thing that would happen.. and who is gota protect us? if we knew that the police might not always be there for us...What can we do? hummm...Scary thoughts.
 
OH yea i been watch true movie lifetime long time ago Cheri it's make me sad and make me feel pissed off cuz the police is nothing anything do to her when Tracy is trying tell them that her ex jerk hubby bother and follow and ects till Police was stand and saw whole and gulp big time after he done to her but she is VERY LUCKY alive if police don't stop him from killed her so she could died right away you know what i mean cheri so the police SHOULD think twice before happen. I know out there lots women who has bad expecier(sp) abuse relationship it's not easy to leaving b/f or hubby or father while abuse. I have a deaf friend who has abuse relationship long time ago it's hella bad big time after she is finally get OUT of abuse relationship so now she is try rebuild her new life and ects. Also i m try remmy there another few different true movie lifetime that one from abuse relationship. I wish there law to protect women from abuse but not easy for that *sigh*
 
I was experienced victim long years ago. When I was made my biggest mistake and have wrong guy in my life. Relationship 2 years and caught end up suffered from him stole my $$$ and everything assets are wiped it gone plus beating me up.. while not expect got 1st preggy.
Few days later, I found another guy who is treat me so nice.. He likes being friend with me of course I do want same thing... I welcomed him and to staying my place as room mate. He saw the guy.. he mad and beat me up.. My room mate surprised and long jump and grabbed him. He beat him up.. I called the police... Pah, Police came over and said whoa.. what hell mess.. I explained officer what happend.. I just welcomed to my room mate staying my place somehow My ex bf saw me.. mad and strike on me.. then My room mate fury and beat him up.. reason for protection me..
Happy ending rid of him...
That how I got 1st child baby boy....... decide keep him rest of my life and found MR RIGHT GUY... He is currenty with me.. Happy married for 3 years.. from July 7 2001 til now.. :)
plus extra more two kids.... total 3 kids now.. :)
 
I am sorry u had to go through that BullyMom.. Nobody derserved to be beaten...I am glad u got out of it... It takes alot of courage, and willpower to leave that kind of relationship...If You Have Left an Abusive Man?
Having left the violence of your home does not mean that all your problems are over. The man that has recently and frequently used and abused you may react in several predictable ways. Knowing what he probably will do may have a beneficial effect on your ability to cope with his demands, his attempts to persuade and intimidate, may better enable you to make your decisions without fear. and...He also may try: crying and begging, particularly in a public situation so that you are embarrassed and appear to be a "hardhearted" harassment by phone calls, threats, legal frustrations, showing up at your work..... One of the main threats that will be used is that he will not let you have the children. Remember in this case the weight of the law is on your side, that in 99 cases out of 100, the mother will receive custody of the children and has a number of community agencies available in helping you deal with the problem of being a single parent.
REMEMBER, YOU DO HAVE RIGHTS AND YOU DO HAVE LAWS TO HELP PROTECT YOUR RIGHTS....
 
Cheri said:
Have u ever seen a true story Movie? I saw One Movie about ' Cry for Help The Tracy T.. Story'...that Movie made me cry...made me angry....how the Police Department did not do anything about it.....How many times she had report on him...How many times she had told them she had a court papers....They still will not do anything about it.....What made the Police Department in her hometown finally woke up when she was beaten and stabbed by her ex husband in front of her son and the whole block......How sad it had to go that way.....There had to be some laws to protect them from being killed after leaving their spouse.. but this police dept. did nothing to help this lady Tracy after all those time she had went to the police dept. and had a order to have him stay away from her and he kept coming back to beat her over and over... and the police did nothing until that last day he stabbed her and cut her throat.. right in front of the police officers watching how it happend.. its horriable...to tell u the truth its hard to leave an abusive husband or wife knowing they might come after you and finished you.. that very scary thing that would happen.. and who is gota protect us? if we knew that the police might not always be there for us...What can we do? hummm...Scary thoughts.
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You're right... it's what we call, "The Traditional Way". Years ago, everything was expected to be smooth and perfect. The husband worked. The wife stayed home. If the husband wanted more kids, the wife would let him fuck her. The wife was practically the husband's sex toy. They homes were simple, left it unlock cuz no one had any big reason to break in. No one ever got divorced. That was what the police were thinking. "I'll stay out of this." or "Oh, this never happens."

Things have changed a lot lately and these things don't happen much any more. Today, people get divorced quickly. There are more abusings. The wife works. The wife does decide if she wants to have sex. They do lock their houses all the time. That's how it is today.
 
well, i need get out of my chest... it will better for me! i got married by my ex hubby on dec 30, 1998.. i thought he was right for me but i picked wrong person.. in 1998, i was preg abt 4 months, it was gurl.. but my ex hubby beated me up so badly, i got high risk preg then lost it.. it was hard on me to accepted this.. it was not my fault... sigh.. then in 1999, i was preg again, it was boy.. , i was abt 4 months n half.. when i stood up n somehow we got in agrued, he fist on my stomaches when i was preg.. it was fuck HURTED! few days later, my stomaches acted bleed lot, cramped n hurt badly.. so i went dr, n they told me that i almost lost baby so wanted me to get off floor so lay down for one week n rest... tried save my baby alive.. when i go bathroom, i sat down n felt the water splash under my butt so i was puzzled then i stood up n saw big spot so i say shyt.. hope not baby! so next day i went see dr n they told me that my baby is gone.. i was soooo hard cried so much!!!
my ex hubby hurted me so much, he pushed me in kitchen, on bed, fist on my jaw,got bleed n bruised on my mouth.. i cant eat anything for 2 days cuz of my mouth n jaw were hurt... one day i was outside, my ex hubby n i got agrued at our old apt.. so i stood up , walked to my ex hubby truck then talked him tried solved plms, cuz of i dont like to have agrue or plms.. so he put R on then drove back n tires over my right toes and i screamed cuz of it FUCKED hurt!!! he left, he dont care.. then i saw my toes got red, black n swell bad.. n hardly walk..
i dont have car when i lived with him, he gone all the time, left me out at old apt, i felt that i been washbrain cuz of i dont have any fun, i stayed home then went work. i been work for JVC n 12 hrs everday! i paid the bills MOST of time.. he gave me some money thats all.. he love spent money on beer n travels ALLL THE TIME!!!
also, he cheated on me other woman who got preg, now he has son.. it hurted me so much!!! cuz of he didnt beat woman, WHYYYYYY ME ME ME?? i was soooo GOOD WIFE to him, i worked at 6:30am to 6:30pm then came home abt 7pm n cooked, wash dishes, then went shower, then watched tv some until fell sleep n woke up at 5am , fixed for his n mine lunch then i left at 5:45am be at 6:15am.. that i did everyday.. it been hell in my marriage!!! sigh.. i was soo confused n love that why.. so my very good friend came to see me n saw me began sooo DOWN n despression so badly.. she worried abt me n saw my mouth got brusied n asked me what happened? i told her truth what happened. she got mad! cuz of she care of me so much.. so in 2000 end of july, she got UHAUL truck n drove down n helped me move out for GOOD! i was roommate with her for almost one yr... sigh.. i thanks her so much for be my good friend.. oh well, now i am moved on and i dont wanna date guys AGAIN!!!i found special someone that i really love so much!!!! so java uddy abt my life been hard time n destory my emotion.. she is there for me n help me! (crying) i never learn REAL LOVE before.. NOW java teach me what real love mean.. i really do uddy now what is it.. i changed lots, happy n in love with java... smile.. (thanks babe java for help me lots n i really happy that i got u) SMOOCHIES at java!
 
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Aww!! The stories sounds bad but I'm so happy it all had a happy ending for both Bullymom and Tweety!! :D

I also was in two abusive relationships. One with my ex when I was younger and another with my soon to be ex husband. My first ex was physical and my ex husband was mentally/emotionally abusive. That is why the time I was with my ex husband pretty long. I didn't realize what he was doing until he took off on me and my kids with another woman. Then I started doing some researches on the internet and found that he had been mentally/emotionally abusing me for almost our whole relationship and marriage and using threats to leave to get his way because he knew my deepest fears and used it against me. Now we have been separated for over two years and he wants me back only because I have started being interested in this guy and this guy is incredibly sweet and treats me very well. He even flew to see me and is flying to see me again this weekend. He shows me a lot of respect and actually listens to what I have to say without pushing me aside to watch TV like my ex used to do.
 
^Angel^ said:
Well,

I believe that U have to LIVE in their shoes to know what its like.....and to live through the traumatic experiences involving the abusions......
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So I should get abused to understand the victims' emotions and situtation?

It is not enough that I witnessed my father beating senseless out of my mother throughout of my childhood? It is not enough that I have to see my father being arrested and handcuffed away in a police car at age five? It is not enough to being lied by my mother about her purple bruise on her eye who said, "I fell on the pavement and got this bruise"? it is not enough for me to understand what the abusive relationship is all about?
Being a child of an abusive relationship from birth , I *do* understand every degree of abuse in the relationships and I do remember every chance my mother could get away but didn't take...
So therefore, I think I am entitled to speak up on this issue.
 
You don't have to be abused to understand. All you need to be is there to witness it to understand. I'm sure she felt the fear when she saw what her father did and the sadness and the anger. ABuse affects EVERYONE. Not just the woman. The children are affected greatly even if they didn't get abused themselves.
 
butterflygal said:
Aww!! The stories sounds bad but I'm so happy it all had a happy ending for both Bullymom and Tweety!! :D

I also was in two abusive relationships. One with my ex when I was younger and another with my soon to be ex husband. My first ex was physical and my ex husband was mentally/emotionally abusive. That is why the time I was with my ex husband pretty long. I didn't realize what he was doing until he took off on me and my kids with another woman. Then I started doing some researches on the internet and found that he had been mentally/emotionally abusing me for almost our whole relationship and marriage and using threats to leave to get his way because he knew my deepest fears and used it against me. Now we have been separated for over two years and he wants me back only because I have started being interested in this guy and this guy is incredibly sweet and treats me very well. He even flew to see me and is flying to see me again this weekend. He shows me a lot of respect and actually listens to what I have to say without pushing me aside to watch TV like my ex used to do.
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thanks so much! :wave:
 
:tears:

I'm truly sorry to hear some of you went thru....*HUGS*....


I for One been in an abusive marriage for 15 years off and on....I saw the way it was effecting myself and my children...Of Course , I was scare to leave him...

But, I had courage to stand up for myself and my children....I became stronger and able to tell him to leave.....

Now, I am in the middle of a divorce and starting my life again with my 3 handsome sons.... :fingersx:

And I made a promise to God, I never will get into something like this again...If I do....I would kick him out of the freaking door and He won't know what hit him!!!:twisted:
 
gnarlydorkette said:
So I should get abused to understand the victims' emotions and situtation?

It is not enough that I witnessed my father beating senseless out of my mother throughout of my childhood? It is not enough that I have to see my father being arrested and handcuffed away in a police car at age five? It is not enough to being lied by my mother about her purple bruise on her eye who said, "I fell on the pavement and got this bruise"? it is not enough for me to understand what the abusive relationship is all about?
Being a child of an abusive relationship from birth , I *do* understand every degree of abuse in the relationships and I do remember every chance my mother could get away but didn't take...
So therefore, I think I am entitled to speak up on this issue.
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Oh yes its enough.....I am sorry , didn't know you were in the middle between your two parents...
 
Tweety also knows i used to abuse but now with the right tools and how to control my anger, Tweetys my first grrl AFTER my anger management and u know what this is the best i have had since and i learned SO much now. and how to time myself and walk away from things! :)
 
awwww!!! i am so glad that i am ur first grrl!!! i dunno that.. IRLYSFM java! :wave: SMOOCHIES!
 
^Angel^ said:
:tears:

I'm truly sorry to hear some of you went thru....*HUGS*....


I for One been in an abusive marriage for 15 years off and on....I saw the way it was effecting myself and my children...Of Course , I was scare to leave him...

But, I had courage to stand up for myself and my children....I became stronger and able to tell him to leave.....

Now, I am in the middle of a divorce and starting my life again with my 3 handsome sons.... :fingersx:

And I made a promise to God, I never will get into something like this again...If I do....I would kick him out of the freaking door and He won't know what hit him!!!:twisted:
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Thanks Angel!!! i uddy u had thru too!!! i hate that.. but u moved on already!
 
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