3 year old with cochears

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Aleser said:
An earlier poster compared forcing a child to wear a CI they clearly do not want to keep on, to the "gift" their parents had given them of making them undergo a series of surgeries on their eyes to help them see, because now they have a "passion for reading."

Sure sounds like advocacy of the wrong sort to me.
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1. No one here has suggested a child should be "forced" to undergo a painful situation -- quite the opposite.

2. Shel brought up small children pulling off their devices as proof that they were being forced to wear them for their parents' sake and oppressed simply bc they were deaf. I stated that I wore eyeglasses as a child and pulled them off but did not see this as being oppressed because of my vision or being "forced" by my parents for their own sake.

The analogy was used to show that parents must make decisions for their infants and toddlers that those children can't make themselves: a 3 YO will not know what he should eat, will pull off his socks and eyeglasses and HAs. That doesn't make the decisions a parent make to provide veggies, socks, glasses, HAs -- even if not understood by a 3YO -- an inhumane act.
 
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HAs and CIs are different. All those things you mention are temporary and not worn all day everyday except glasses but I was told glasses fix your vision. Of course my mom took hers off a lot because glasses only work in certain situation.

Beside, I don't think it is bad for the child not to wear HAs or CIs.They are just machines with artificial sounds. Just like ReWalk...it just a device. You are not walking...its doing the walking for you.
 
AlleyCat said:
Interestingly enough, if this thread had been titled "3 year old with HAs" rather than "cochlear" we would not have had our throats jumped down. All we were trying to do was point out that there could be logical, physical reasons this particular 3 year old didn't want to wear his CI in that it might hurt, volume too high, etc. But no ........
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No, EVERY SINGLE PERSON in this thread said that the very first thing is that you MUST make sure the settings are right and that you need to make sure it isn't hurting him.

Read it again.
 
Looks like this thread is going to get locked. Oh well.
 
Beowulf said:
Looks like this thread is going to get locked. Oh well.
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It is ridiculous. Why can't someone say they implanted their child with out the thread becoming about how parents are trying to make their kids hearing? Why couldn't people just say:

1. check the settings
2. check the device
3. make sure there is nothing hurting him
4. reward positive behavior
5. make sure wearing the device is a positive experience
6. give him lots of input so he sees the point (play sound games, music, etc.)
7. maybe a chart would help
8. make sure he has enough language to express his needs

But no, it has to be "if he is taking off the device it means that he hates it and any further attempts would be oppressing him", which as any parents knows, is ridiculous. 3 year olds by default, don't want to do anything, even things they enjoy. It is simply another battle. Maybe, someday, he *might* make that choice (but statistically non-use is very low, especially compared to hearing aids), but right now, he's being 3.
 
Calm down, FJ. Some people might see your actions as being child abuse. Nothing we can do about that. There are all sorts of opinions in this board.
 
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Not just taking it off but breaking it on purpose .. asking the parent to relax and let him go without CI if he wants. NO, we are not talking about ditching CI) . There's nothing ridiculous about it.
 
GrendelQ said:
1. No one here has suggested a child should be "forced" to undergo a painful situation -- quite the opposite.

2. Shel brought up small children pulling off their devices as proof that they were being forced to wear them for their parents' sake and oppressed simply bc they were deaf. I stated that I wore eyeglasses as a child and pulled them off but did not see this as being oppressed because of my vision or being "forced" by my parents for their own sake.

The analogy was used to show that parents must make decisions for their infants and toddlers that those children can't make themselves: a 3 YO will not know what he should eat, will pull off his socks and eyeglasses and HAs. That doesn't make the decisions a parent make to provide veggies, socks, glasses, HAs -- even if not understood by a 3YO -- an inhumane act.
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I am talking about kids who, after a long period of time, have violent fits about wearing their HAs or CIs. By forcing them to wear them just to hear is kinda oppressive especially when we have ASL instead of trying to make them hear and speak if they dont want to.

That is what I was referring to, NOT for all children. I didnt mind wearing my HAs but when they were hurting me, I didnt want to wear them but I got scolded or got punished for not wanting to wear them those times. In my opinion, that was cruel.

My parents battled with my brother into getting to wear his for almost 5 years. 5 years wasted because he thrived using ASL and without sound.

Did that make my parents irresponsible once they realized it wasnt worth forcing him to wear his HAs and having him learn how to talk?
 
deafgal001 said:
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Not just taking it off but breaking it on purpose .. asking the parent to relax and let him go without CI if he wants. NO, we are not talking about ditching CI) . There's nothing ridiculous about it.
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If the child goes for a period of time without the CI....say a week, the MAP is no longer appropriate. They have to go back to the audiologist, reset the MAP, probably have to get several MAPs and slowly have to work back up to the optimum MAP. That could take weeks, and then the child is missing out on weeks worth of input and language, not to mention having to readjust to hearing again, wearing the device again, and all of that. What good does that do?

And this child was not breaking his device, just taking it off. And yes, people were saying that if he was taking it off, that means he hates it and he should be allowed to never wear it again.
 
Same here, Shel. While I was growing up, my parents never tried to force me to constantly wear my hearing aid. (One time they asked me, and I told them that my ear was bleeding from the earmold, and they left me alone afterward.) They never forced me to take constant speech therapy but left me to my own devices. I turned out fine.
 
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Oh my you make it sound like they have to wear it ALL the time and they won't wear it if parent don't force them. Really. Does a day or two without CI hurt that much?
 
deafgal001 said:
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Oh my you make it sound like they have to wear it ALL the time and they won't wear it if parent don't force them. Really. Does a day or two without CI hurt that much?
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I believe that if they benefit, they would wear it, why wouldn't they? The fights are about age. Once you get through the short term issue, they will go back to wearing it (unless there is a reason, like bad MAP or pain).

Again, I never said you should force, just be consistent, put it back, reward positive behavior, and this too shall pass.
 
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If you have a child flushing CI on purpose , throwing a fit, keep taking it out as soon as you put it on, breaking it so they don't have to wear it, etc. For months, that should tell you something. No, it not the reason to ditch it but to find an alternatives to go with CI and HAs so you child can wear it anytime. I wouldn't worry about mapping..because once the child decide he want to wear it...he'll wear it for good.
 
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faire_jour said:
No, EVERY SINGLE PERSON in this thread said that the very first thing is that you MUST make sure the settings are right and that you need to make sure it isn't hurting him.

Read it again.
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Yeah? That was my point.
 
Beowulf said:
Calm down, FJ. Some people might see your actions as being child abuse. Nothing we can do about that. There are all sorts of opinions in this board.
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There is, though. As rational people, you and I can let those people who think that making a chart or resetting a CI program is child abuse that they are mistaken and are being offensive by suggesting such a thing. That type of ignorance about deafness and parenting-- or personal bias against an individual -- doesn't have to stand.

Wouldn't it have been nice if the OP received a rational answer rather than being blamed and chastised for pain some individuals here experienced a generation or two ago? That person might have returned again and again, becoming familiar with Deaf Culture, ASL, and all of us (if she is not already). Could have turned someone around rather than turned someone away.
 
faire_jour said:
I believe that if they benefit, they would wear it, why wouldn't they? The fights are about age. Once you get through the short term issue, they will go back to wearing it (unless there is a reason, like bad MAP or pain).

Again, I never said you should force, just be consistent, put it back, reward positive behavior, and this too shall pass.
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More power to you. Even when everything seems to be peachy keen, some kids will continue to refuse the CI. Maybe they were meant to be deaf.
 
GrendelQ said:
There is, though. As rational people, you and I can let those people who think that making a chart or resetting a CI program is child abuse that they are mistaken and are being offensive by suggesting such a think. That type of ignorance about deafness and parenting-- or personal bias against an individual -- doesn't have to stand.

Wouldn't it have been nice if the OP received a rational answer rather than being blamed and chastised for pain some individuals here experienced a generation or two ago? That person might have returned again and again, becoming familiar with Deaf Culture, ASL, and all of us (if she is not already). Could have turned someone around rather than turned someone away.
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What??? Constantly forcing a toddler to do something s/he doesn't want to do IS child abuse!
 
deafgal001 said:
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If you have a child flushing CI on purpose , throwing a fit, keep taking it out as soon as you put it on, breaking it so they don't have to wear it, etc. For months, that should tell you something. No, it not the reason to ditch it but to find an alternatives to go with CI and HAs so you child can wear it anytime. I wouldn't worry about mapping..because once the child decide he want to wear it...he'll wear it for good.
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Would you also give your child the option of going without shoes? My daughter fought socks and shoes with SCREAMING, full-on, throw herself on the ground, writhing fits. She would also attempt to throw her shoes away at every single opportunity.
 
I don't understand the comparisons with putting on socks and shoes, taking a bath, putting on clothes, taking medications -- throwing tantrums over these things can be very typical child behavior, especially at a young age. Being made to wear a HA or a CI if it actually HURTS (because of improper fitting, high volume, as I already said in my recent posts) is another thing entirely. It would be the parents responsibility to ensure that wearing a device, regardless of what it is, is not hurting. Geesh. :roll:
 
faire_jour said:
Would you also give your child the option of going without shoes? My daughter fought socks and shoes with SCREAMING, full-on, throw herself on the ground, writhing fits. She would also attempt to throw her shoes away at every single opportunity.
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All right, I'll bite. Are you implying that she is fervently against anything you do since you made her wear a CI? If so, that ought to tell you something.
 
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