3 year old with cochears

[faire_jour]

What??? Constantly forcing a toddler to do something s/he doesn't want to do IS child abuse!

If we are talking about hold a child down and hurting them- forcing them, then yeah, but it we are talking about insisting on it, like we do with clothes and veggies, then no, not at all.

 

[faire_jour]

I don't understand the comparisons with putting on socks and shoes, taking a bath, putting on clothes, taking medications -- throwing tantrums over these things can be very typical child behavior, especially at a young age. Being made to wear a HA or a CI if it actually HURTS (because of improper fitting, high volume, as I already said in my recent posts) is another thing entirely. It would be the parents responsibility to ensure that wearing a device, regardless of what it is, is not hurting. Geesh. :roll:

Yes, it must not hurt! Everyone has said that. Beyond that, it is exactly like everything else. It is perfectly typical.

 

[faire_jour]

All right, I'll bite. Are you implying that she is fervently against anything you do since you made her wear a CI? If so, that ought to tell you something.

No, I mean when she was 2. She hated shoes, so I should have just let her go barefoot? No, parents need to be parents and make sure their child wears shoes.

 

[GrendelQ]

What??? Constantly forcing a toddler to do something s/he doesn't want to do IS child abuse!

What do you mean by "constantly forcing a toddler to do something s/he doesn't want to do", Beowulf? Is it "forcing" to require him to eat healthy foods when he wants candy? To providing him with mittens in the winter and insisting that he wear them outside instead of tossing them? To fix a specific bedtime, to request he bathe and brush teeth even if there are other things he wants to do? Is it forcing if you get his agreement with negotiation? With explanations. With as much comprehension of the benefits as is possible at a particular age?

I would never use violence on a child, whether physical or emotional, but I sure would work very hard to convince a child that there's a very good reason to wear an HA -- if that was a critical part of the educational and communication path we'd developed AND we knew it was providing benefit. And I did exactly that, worked with my child to use her HAs until she, and the results of her testing, made it clear that she was not getting any benefit AND there was no future benefit to be had from them. And then we changed plans. Persistence yes, but not "forcing" as far as I'm concerned.

Similarly, if Li suddenly refused to use ASL one day (as several deaf toddlers WITHOUT aids or CIs in her classes have done, to the chagrin of their Deaf families), I would not give it up and say -- well then, that's that, a toddler's decision has been made. We would try again repeatedly, working to find a way to make it fun, to find beneficial results that she could recognize upfront. This is NOT child abuse.

 

[Beowulf]

If we are talking about hold a child down and hurting them- forcing them, then yeah, but it we are talking about insisting on it, like we do with clothes and veggies, then no, not at all.

Nawww, if the child doesn't want it, it is child abuse.

 

[deafgal001]

Wirelessly posted

If you have a child flushing CI on purpose , throwing a fit, keep taking it out as soon as you put it on, breaking it so they don't have to wear it, etc. For months, that should tell you something. No, it not the reason to ditch it but to find an alternatives to go with CI and HAs so you child can wear it anytime. I wouldn't worry about mapping..because once the child decide he want to wear it...he'll wear it for good.

Would you also give your child the option of going without shoes? My daughter fought socks and shoes with SCREAMING, full-on, throw herself on the ground, writhing fits. She would also attempt to throw her shoes away at every single opportunity.

I remember reading about child abuse where a mother would slap her daughter for not wear her shoe. The daughter was trying to tell her that the shoe was too tight..

Of course, none of you would dare to pick up the spoon and shove veggies in their mouth.

 

[GrendelQ]

I don't understand the comparisons with putting on socks and shoes, taking a bath, putting on clothes, taking medications -- throwing tantrums over these things can be very typical child behavior, especially at a young age. Being made to wear a HA or a CI if it actually HURTS (because of improper fitting, high volume, as I already said in my recent posts) is another thing entirely. It would be the parents responsibility to ensure that wearing a device, regardless of what it is, is not hurting. Geesh. :roll:

The point is that removing a sock and taking off an HA does not necessarily indicate pain! It's what toddlers do.

And yes, that's what we have been saying from the start: she must find out if the map is wrong and causing discomfort! Doing so is not child abuse.

 

[GrendelQ]

Wirelessly posted



I remember reading about child abuse where a mother would slap her daughter for not wear her shoe. The daughter was trying to tell her that the shoe was too tight.

Now THAT'S child abuse. Big difference between slapping a child in the face and getting a CI program checked.

 

[Beowulf]

What do you mean by "constantly forcing a toddler to do something s/he doesn't want to do", Beowulf? Is it "forcing" to require him to eat healthy foods when he wants candy? To providing him with mittens in the winter and insisting that he wear them outside instead of tossing them? To fix a specific bedtime, to request he bathe and brush teeth even if there are other things he wants to do? Is it forcing if you get his agreement with negotiation? With explanations. With as much comprehension of the benefits as is possible at a particular age?

I would never use violence on a child, whether physical or emotional, but I sure would work very hard to convince a child that there's a very good reason to wear an HA -- if that was a critical part of the educational and communication path we'd developed AND we knew it was providing benefit. And I did exactly that, worked with my child to use her HAs until she, and the results of her testing, made it clear that she was not getting any benefit AND there was no future benefit to be had from them. And then we changed plans. Persistence yes, but not "forcing" as far as I'm concerned.

Similarly, if Li suddenly refused to use ASL one day (as several deaf toddlers WITHOUT aids or CIs in her classes have done, to the chagrin of their Deaf families), I would not give it up and say -- well then, that's that, a toddler's decision has been made. We would try again repeatedly, working to find a way to make it fun, to find beneficial results that she could recognize upfront. This is NOT child abuse.

I am not attacking you, GrendelQ. I was merely pointing out that there are gray areas.

 

[posts from hell]

My question to these two parents... Where is the line where they say "hmm, this is going a bit too far."

I personally doubt there is any.

 

[GrendelQ]

Nawww, if the child doesn't want it, it is child abuse.

You are saying that if an infant or toddler doesn't want healthy food or warm clothing or ASL, it doesn't make sense to find out why, make the benefits known to him, but it is child abuse to pursue these things. Let him eat candy, wander in the snow without boots on, and let language be damned -- he can learn from the squirrels?

I think that's child abuse.

 

[faire_jour]

Nawww, if the child doesn't want it, it is child abuse.

So, when my daughter tells me to "Stop signing" because she "can hear", I shouold obey? Nope. I'm the parent, I need to do what will be best for her in the long term, not what she wants in the short term.

 

[Beowulf]

You are saying that if an infant or toddler doesn't want healthy food or warm clothing or ASL, it doesn't make sense to find out why, make the benefits known to him, but it is child abuse to pursue these things. Let him eat candy, wander in the snow without boots on, and let language be damned -- he can learn from the squirrels?

I think that's child abuse.

You consider those to fall within the gray area? Dang.

 

[GrendelQ]

My question to these two parents... Where is the line where they say "hmm, this is going a bit too far."

I personally doubt there is any.

The child's parents have not indicated anything that shows they are abusive.

 

[posts from hell]

So, when my daughter tells me to "Stop signing" because she "can hear", I shouold obey? Nope. I'm the parent, I need to do what will be best for her in the long term, not what she wants in the short term.

I have a quote for this.....

ah, never mind.

 

[faire_jour]

Wirelessly posted



I remember reading about child abuse where a mother would slap her daughter for not wear her shoe. The daughter was trying to tell her that the shoe was too tight..

Of course, none of you would dare to pick up the spoon and shove veggies in their mouth.

Did when she was a baby (It's called feeding them!)

And no, her shoes weeren't too tight, she was fighting ANY shoes.

 

[posts from hell]

The child's parents have not indicated anything that shows they are abusive.

Not talking about the OP. But yeah, it could apply.

 

[GrendelQ]

You consider those to fall within the gray area? Dang.

What gray area are you referring to?

 

[posts from hell]

Did when she was a baby (It's called feeding them!)

And no, her shoes weeren't too tight, she was fighting ANY shoes.

Alright... Are you sure there isnt another reason for that? What is the underlying issue?

When I have my daughter and any issues appear - I find out the source issue and we're merry. Matter of a fact - I can only remember a VERY few times that my daughter was "SCREAMING and crying." Very few. It almost never happens.
It pains me to hear about another kids screaming and crying.

 

[faire_jour]

My question to these two parents... Where is the line where they say "hmm, this is going a bit too far."

I personally doubt there is any.

First and foremost you must be sure that nothing else is going on with the device. If you have done that, just keep putting it on. Use rewards, stickers, charts, games, etc.

What is too far? Anything that includes physical or emotional coercion.