Young mother to a deaf 2 year old

[GrendelQ]

I agree with you when you were considering about giving her some speech therapy. if you think she needs it then thats cool.

I'm not currently considering it, there's not a need right now, but some day we may. I'm not opposed to it.

I often read stories of people feeling ashamed of the way they speak or ashamed of how they are perceived by others when they speak with deaf accents. If I get the sense that some day my daughter is grappling with these feelings and wants to do speech therapy, we'll support her. For now, the therapy is all geared around developing ASL. And she's not objecting at this point.

 

[Frisky Feline]

I'm not currently considering it, there's not a need right now, but some day we may. I'm not opposed to it.

I often read stories of people feeling ashamed of the way they speak or ashamed of how they are perceived by others when they speak with deaf accents. If I get the sense that some day my daughter is grappling with these feelings and wants to do speech therapy, we'll support her. For now, the therapy is all geared around developing ASL. And she's not objecting at this point.

whatever you think is the best thing to do for your kid.

 

[deafdyke]

So.. It's perfectly OK to say "she might not be happy getting a CI" and insult the mother that she doesn't know her child because she's not deaf,

but me saying "...might not be happy being deaf" goes straight to the subject of raising dhh children.. including "WHAT THE F*&K?!?!?!"....
btw.. What is "THAT" referring to ???

How on earth are you girls thinking....

She might not. I know its hard for you to believe but there ARE people who dislike the CI, or who aren't into sound. It's like being a female vs. male. You don't miss having a female part b/c you were born male. Or it's like FINALLY accepting that you are GLB and you don't miss hetronormative stuff, b/c YOU"RE GAY!
Besides the speech perception of dhh kids is NOT like a hearing person's. That is what you don't understand. It gives some partial access, but not complete and unfettered access. It's like assuming that just b/c a Hispanic Spanish speaker can speak English pretty well, they have complete and unfettered access to the English speaking world!

 

[deafdyke]

and BTW, I'm 32. Last I checked that was a woman, NOT a girl. That's another blatent example of your own built in bias, that you see me as a girl, rather then a WOMAN!

 

[deafdyke]

Image I'd be much better if I had good speech and CI but now making do with HAs

How doyou know? Just b/c a kid has intelligble speech it doesn't mean that they automaticly have better opertunties...even with the world's best speech you still have to deal with dumbassed middle class managers thinking you're mentally handicapped b/c of your deaf speech.

 

[CSign]

How doyou know? Just b/c a kid has intelligble speech it doesn't mean that they automaticly have better opertunties...even with the world's best speech you still have to deal with dumbassed middle class managers thinking you're mentally handicapped b/c of your deaf speech.

When you quote people, will you please quote them properly so it's clear who said what? It can get confusing at times figuring out who you're quoting.

 

[CSign]

Besides the speech perception of dhh kids is NOT like a hearing person's. That is what you don't understand. It gives some partial access, but not complete and unfettered access. It's like assuming that just b/c a Hispanic Spanish speaker can speak English pretty well, they have complete and unfettered access to the English speaking world!

I think Cloggy does understand...

In fact, I believe both Cloggy and and others have addressed the fact that even hearing people don't have "complete and unfettered access". You seem to bring that point up a lot, and I think about 97% of us on this forum "get it".

 

[Cloggy]

She might not. I know its hard for you to believe but there ARE people who dislike the CI, or who aren't into sound. It's like being a female vs. male. You don't miss having a female part b/c you were born male. Or it's like FINALLY accepting that you are GLB and you don't miss hetronormative stuff, b/c YOU"RE GAY!
Besides the speech perception of dhh kids is NOT like a hearing person's. That is what you don't understand. It gives some partial access, but not complete and unfettered access. It's like assuming that just b/c a Hispanic Spanish speaker can speak English pretty well, they have complete and unfettered access to the English speaking world!

Listen girls...
I have no problem with people against CI.. I get it.. You don't want one... She doesn't want one.. Excellent....

But someone who want's nothing to do with it, has no knowledge about them, and then pretends to know how a deaf child feels with CI...
That's just ridiculous...


And have you figured out what "THAT" referred to?

 

[Cloggy]

and BTW, I'm 32. Last I checked that was a woman, NOT a girl. That's another blatent example of your own built in bias, that you see me as a girl, rather then a WOMAN!

Sorry girl...

 

[Cloggy]

How doyou know? Just b/c a kid has intelligble speech it doesn't mean that they automaticly have better opertunties...even with the world's best speech you still have to deal with dumbassed middle class managers thinking you're mentally handicapped b/c of your deaf speech.

How do you know..??

You should read Robert Frosts's poem

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost

HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU KNOW BETTER..???

 

[Cloggy]

...Maude database doesn't have everyone who failed or had problems in it. It's a lot more specific.....

If it's a lot more specific..... They WOULD have everyone who failed..

BUT..

Get this: The Maude database has NO-ONE who never had a problem with Cochlear Implants..
And they have many that had a problem with CI. Had it fixed and now have NO problems...

SO... I urge you..
Find some positive news for a change..

 

[Bottesini]

If it's a lot more specific..... They WOULD have everyone who failed..

BUT..

Get this: The Maude database has NO-ONE who never had a problem with Cochlear Implants..
And they have many that had a problem with CI. Had it fixed and now have NO problems...

SO... I urge you..
Find some positive news for a change..

No, if it was more broad, it would have everyone. And I don't report the news, I only point out untruths.

 

[Foxrac]

My daughter is going to be 2 in July, she has a profound hearing loss in both ears. In other words, she can't hear anything; not even herself. I am hearing, and so is her father & like most hearing parents, I've never met a deaf person until my daughter came. We found out when she was 21 months old, I tried to have her tested before that but the doctors said I was being paranoid. They didn't want to test her till she she was 3 because she did pass her screening at birth. As her mother I knew something was off, & eventually called around and got things rolling myself. After a month of testing, the results came back after her sedated abr.. my daughter was infact deaf. Even though I had a gut feeling, hearing those words felt like they crashed my entire world. Honestly, I cried for days. That was the last day her father was activley involved in her life. The doctors immidently tried to push the CI on me, but I told them I needed time to think.. at that moment is what like I was having an outer body expeirence, I was in no shape to make the most important decision of my baby's life. I went home, stopped crying & said to myself.. "what now"? I started doing my own reasearch, got myself in contact with Early On, ordered ASL books & materials & started teaching myself & my daughter to sign. Eventually, I came to my conculision.. Aubrey was NOT getting to CI. That was something that was unnessisary & I felt it was something she should decide. I only want whats best for my babygirl. I don't want her to think I needed to "fix" her. She is and always will be perfect to me. Of course her fathers family give me BIGTIME greif about my choice. But to me.. it's not MY choice; it's Aubrey's. When the time comes, if she wants to get the implant, I will support her decision every step of the way. To be perfectly honest, I still have moments where I do doubt my decision, when i think my decision is selfish & wrong, but then I look at my BEAUTIFUL, SMART, HAPPY, AMAZZZING babygirl & all that goes away. We are still learning to sign, she is catching on like I couldn't ever imagine I have never been more proud.

My name is Destiny, and I am a 21 year old single mother to a 2 year old Deaf child. I'm looking to talk to others with similar stories because I feel alone, like nobody knows what I'm going threw.
Also I want so much to know more about the Deaf community & any adivce or just anything you think could benifit us.

Thank you

Welcome to Alldeaf forum.

Wow, you have similar experience as my mother did in 1989 after ENT specialist found that I was HoH but eventually became severely deaf after had bad infection in ears. The ENT specialist tried to convince my parent to implant me with CI, even without try hearing aids so my parent said no. After that, I got new hearing aids so worked okay until 1994 and not work anymore as my hearing loss moved to profoundly. I had some problems with physical and learning because I cannot walk so properly until 4 years old due to bad balance and cannot learn at all after try to instruct me to do it. In 1992, the specialist didn't recommended me to get CI, even they warned about I will have no benefits from speech therapy but my parent continued me to have speech therapy for no charge because took advantage of taxpayer funded Tricare to cover in full. The CI surgery was huge risk for me but not got CI until late 1990's. I started learn sign language from ASL to SEE to ASL because some public schools use ASL and some other use SEE instead. I cannot understand any of communication and rarely to communicate until I became preteen. I had huge communication deficit and hadn't get any good education.

I had speech therapy for 10 years but just nothing to help and I cannot voice any words, except for yes and no only. I tried to say no but some people don't understand me so I gave up. I rather to use sign, text or pen to communicate.

I don't know about situation with your daughter and I'm suggest you to find an ENT specialist who won't push your daughter to get CI but they will give a proper information about any risk, efficient, benefits, etc. I think it is good idea to have genetic testing. It is totally up to whichever is best for your daughter.

I'm sorry about you have hard time after found your daughter is deaf.

When your daughter start ready for go to school in few years so please take care of her education. It is very important that she must get a good education, regardless on language option to communicate. I was very behind because my parent didn't care about my education and it was extremely stress to caught anything so I don't have to live on certificate or special diploma that are automatically disqualify for college.

For me, if I have deaf child so I rather to wait until they get older and let them make a choice, however if insurance doesn't cover or only partially cover with over thousand dollars in medical debt so I will have to decline it. The insurance companies are getting more expensive and less coverage than before.

I wish that my parent sends me to deaf school in 1993 instead go to special education at public school that which their education was very bad.

 

[Foxrac]

How doyou know? Just b/c a kid has intelligble speech it doesn't mean that they automaticly have better opertunties...even with the world's best speech you still have to deal with dumbassed middle class managers thinking you're mentally handicapped b/c of your deaf speech.

Sorry girl...

Could both of you get along?

This section isn't debate between ASL vs. oral and HA/CI vs. non-HA/CI, etc.

Just let DVroman7 to make decision with her daughter.

I don't understand why people attacked other people about HA, CI, ASL, oral, etc.

 

[Foxrac]

DvVroman7, I like what you wrote that you can look at your beautiful daughter who happen to be deaf. I admire you for standing up for your daughter as you would like your daughter to be herself, not someone to push her to become that she might not be happy getting a CI (bad with surgery) or hearing aid (not bad without surgery). I don't want anyone to brainwash your deaf daughter that she must hear with CI. Being deaf is not bad. It is something better than having to hear all kinds of noises that can be a bothersome, eh?

So ignore GrendalQ's comment. She is a hearing mother like you but she has different opinion and really not understand anything about deaf children's life. And why we have to struggle so hard just because we have to respect to the hearing parents by going to mainstream school and having to learn to speak and lipread without sign language. The hearing parents don't respect us halfway by learning to sign with us and getting the accommodations for us, Deafies. Both of my parents don't sign and neither my sister but she tried to sign Alphabet. They think that I can lipread and talk a lot better than signing. That is their satisfaction while I was not happy about it all. So if your daughter can sign with you, then go for it. Good luck on your journey with your deaf daughter.

My friend - I advised you not tell anybody to ignore specific member's post because it isn't best way to say and you can get backfire from other members.

 

[Cloggy]

No, if it was more broad, it would have everyone. And I don't report the news, I only point out untruths.

Everyone?

Introduction to the MAUDE database.
Gurtcheff SE.
Source
Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology, University of Utah Health Sciences Center, Salt Lake City, Utah, USA. shawn.gurtcheff@hsc.utah.edu
Abstract
The Manufacturer and User Facility Device Experience (MAUDE) database represents a reporting system mandated by the Food and Drug Administration for postmarket surveillance. MAUDE has been made into a searchable online database that includes all reported events in which medical devices may have malfunctioned or caused a death or serious injury. For the clinician considering the use of a new medical device, searching the MAUDE database is useful to search for complications not yet reported in the medical literature.

Why would someone without problems be in there...??? There are more CI-users NOT in there than there are in there....

 

[deafdyke]

Everyone?

Why would someone without problems be in there...??? There are more CI-users NOT in there than there are in there....

Ummmm we're talking MALFUNCTION,not just " doesn't hear as well as a good HOH user of an implant. I do remember back at Hearing Exchange they said that "sucess" meant different things for different people. For an extreme deep profound person, it might mean being able to perceive enviromental sounds, for another it might mean an increase in word perception scores and so on.
CI is basicly like HA. Some audilogically deaf people are functionally HOH with HAs (I know lots of people with profound and severe, and severe-profound losses who are HOH with hearing aids) and some of them are functionally HOH with CI.

 

[CSign]

Ummmm we're talking MALFUNCTION,not just " doesn't hear as well as a good HOH user of an implant. I do remember back at Hearing Exchange they said that "sucess" meant different things for different people. For an extreme deep profound person, it might mean being able to perceive enviromental sounds, for another it might mean an increase in word perception scores and so on.
CI is basicly like HA. Some audilogically deaf people are functionally HOH with HAs (I know lots of people with profound and severe, and severe-profound losses who are HOH with hearing aids) and some of them are functionally HOH with CI.

Cloggy's post was about the Maude database...

 

[deafdyke]

Listen girls...
I have no problem with people against CI.. I get it.. You don't want one... She doesn't want one.. Excellent....

But someone who want's nothing to do with it, has no knowledge about them, and then pretends to know how a deaf child feels with CI...
That's just ridiculous...

FYI, very few Deaf people are against CIs any more. This isn't 1994 any more after all. Many Deaf people understand that at best they give HOH access to the hearing world.....Were you aware that Deaf people were against HAs when they were first introduced?
BUT, what you do not seem to understand at ALL is that HOH functioning is NOT new with devices. There were profound/ severe-profound and severe kids who were HOH with even the type of body worn aids that you saw at the oral deaf schools in the 20's and 30's. You also seem to assume that HOH= hearing. Yes, we can hear, and have pretty good speech perception, but that doesn't make us hearing by a LONG shot. Your daughter is still really young. Come back around 4th grade or middle school. I think you'll understand THEN why we're arguing for a bilingal approach, so that dhh kids have access to both Sign and Spoken language. They can take advantage of their nautral visual processing strengh, but ALSO be able to speak orally.
They can have a deaf boyfriend or girlfriend instead of being that weird kid with the weird speech, and they can take advantage of a wonderful vibrant community where they are not "hearing impaired" but DEAF!

 

[CSign]

FYI, very few Deaf people are against CIs any more. This isn't 1994 any more after all. Many Deaf people understand that at best they give HOH access to the hearing world.....Were you aware that Deaf people were against HAs when they were first introduced?
BUT, what you do not seem to understand at ALL is that HOH functioning is NOT new with devices. There were profound/ severe-profound and severe kids who were HOH with even the type of body worn aids that you saw at the oral deaf schools in the 20's and 30's. You also seem to assume that HOH= hearing. Yes, we can hear, and have pretty good speech perception, but that doesn't make us hearing by a LONG shot. Your daughter is still really young. Come back around 4th grade or middle school. I think you'll understand THEN why we're arguing for a bilingal approach, so that dhh kids have access to both Sign and Spoken language. They can take advantage of their nautral visual processing strengh, but ALSO be able to speak orally.
They can have a deaf boyfriend or girlfriend instead of being that weird kid with the weird speech, and they can take advantage of a wonderful vibrant community where they are not "hearing impaired" but DEAF!

DD- What you do not seem to understand is that Cloggy has made it clear that he knows that people with HA's and CI's do not "hear like hearing people".

The threats about 4th grade, and "just wait and see" are too much. Some of us are used to you writing that. However, if you say that to a parent of a newly diagnosed child...well, that would be incredibly discouraging and disheartening to them. Please, please, please stop making comments like that.

I also think his daughter is older than you believe her to be. She also appears to be thriving in her environment.